by Eden O'Neill
“No problem.”
She pumped her little fist before asking for a hug. One I gave her.
Because I didn’t feel anything anymore.
My life literally flashed before my eyes.
After, she hugged her wine coolers again, her smile suddenly sad. “Hope you’re doing okay. I can’t imagine. Losing a baby….” She shook her head. “Alec must have been crushed.”
He sure had. Enough to wallow in his grief.
Enough to hurt me.
Enough to blame me for things that weren’t my fault, and I said nothing.
Just forced a smile.
It gave this girl, his fan, exactly what she needed. It made her go, and I was left with nothing but staring at a wine shelf. Eventually, I grabbed a bottle.
“There you are.”
An arm folded around me, a long arm and a snug embrace.
Ramses smiled when he hugged me back into him. He kissed me on the top of the head, holding me close before seeing what I grabbed.
He lifted it up, a frown on his lips. “Honey, we’re basically about to go to a bro event and everyone in attendance, December included, will drink like it is.” Chuckling, he put the wine back. “Come on. We can do better than that.”
He laced our hands together, a platter of cheesecake bites in his hand. My first thought was if he could see what had just happened all over my face, but the second was what he’d said. He called me honey.
He must have seen the second thought.
Because he smiled, so big when he guided me away. He wrapped his long wingspan around me, and I almost forgot what had just happened. Ramses Mallick was a hell of a drug.
But that didn’t mean he could numb me.
*
Forever the optimist, Ramses chalked up my abrupt change in comfort as nerves on the way to December’s. He said everything would be okay.
He had no reason to think otherwise.
How exactly did one tell their twenty-two-year-old… youthful, vibrant boyfriend they’d lost a child? How did she break something down he’d never had to deal with?
How could she explain?
How could she describe that feeling to him? Something he’d never experienced. Ramses was perfect, untouched in so many ways. He’d had his own traumas, but he’d been fortunate not to bear the weight of this.
And hopefully, never would.
He stole my hand in his car, more assurances on his lips. He told me it’d be okay again.
I hoped it would.
“Arizona!”
Okay started with meeting his friends, December when she opened the door. She had a perfect flush to her cheeks, a video game controller in her hand. Apparently, she’d been playing.
Completely youthful.
She greeted Ramses and me at the door, enough beer in Ramses’s hands to provide for a frat house kegger. In fact, I’d believed it overkill. But I suppose younger people liked to drink.
Ramses held up one of the six packs to her, a smile gracing his lips. His other hand fisted the rest of the booze, but that didn’t stop him from hooking an arm around me. “‘Zona!”
I didn’t understand the reference, or why she’d called him Arizona. I assumed it was something between friends, and when she shifted to hug him, the same.
“Took you long enough,” she teased, squeezing his shoulder.
The gorgeous level of this girl exceeded the charts, her wispy dark strands cinched high in a messy bun. It complemented her pale skin, flushed with rose tint. She still looked like Snow White, still stunning. She propped the controller on her hip. “I was about to send out a squad car. You get lost coming all the way over from next door?”
But she wasn’t afraid to stick it to Ramses, the man jokes and sarcasm for days. I could definitely see why the two were friends.
“Nice,” he gritted, his eyes lifted, but he hugged me close with a warm grin. He hadn’t let me go, but he didn’t need to do that. I understood where these two were in regard to their friendship.
I trusted him.
Even still, there was hesitance there that hadn’t been, a nervousness at least on December’s end. Her smile slipped a bit in my direction, her hand working over that control, and perhaps, Ramses noticed that as well.
“December,” he said before placing a kiss down on the crown of my head. He was so tall, always did that. He smiled at me. “You know my Bri. My girlfriend.”
His Bri.
Like him calling me honey before, the sentiment warmed inside me, but a dull ache was there, too.
It hadn’t left.
I think it’d been seeing him with his young friend, her, too, in flip-flops and shorts. Though, she was at home. There was just such a simplicity about her too, a vibrancy in her youth.
Never in my life had I been envious of someone younger than me, but in that moment, I was. I didn’t know why.
“Yes.” She took my hand, formally shaking it. Then did one better when she hooked an arm around me too. I had the cheesecake bites, so it was a maneuver.
It made us both laugh, smile when she came away.
She pushed hair out of her face. “And gratefully, this time I’m wearing clothes.”
Laughter again from all of us, this meeting between us all so different and when the door widened, even more of that difference.
December’s husband came in, a ridiculously beautiful man with the features of a prince and the jawline to match. Blond, he squeezed December’s shoulders from behind before reaching out to help Ramses with some of the beers.
He shook his hand.
“Mallick.” He squeezed, a polish about him that differed from his casual wife. He stood taller, stance straighter despite wearing a Pembroke hoodie. This guy was basically huge. But not nearly as tall as Ramses. He smirked. “Good. We can get things going, and you can shut Knight the fuck up. He keeps going on about LJ and some deal. I’m about to goddamn kill him.”
Whatever this reference was made Ramses bark a laugh. He waved a hand over his head. “I’m sure,” he said before introducing me. “This is my girlfriend, Brielle. Brielle, Royal. I’m sure you saw him at the wedding. Royal, Brielle was a guest.”
I was shaking his hand, too, when he offered it. “Nice to meet you.”
“Same here.” Royal shot a thumb back. “We taking this inside? Seriously, I’m about to fucking kill Knight. What the hell is he going on about?”
“Business, which I don’t do in my free time.” Ramses chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ll talk to him, though. His boxers are probably just in a twist because his boy, LJ, is about to make a name in Maywood Heights.”
Royal grinned. “I heard and can’t fucking wait. These two are hilarious and so damn competitive.”
“There ain’t nothing to compete with!” came from inside. Then the guy I assumed was Knight appeared at the door. If Royal was big, this guy was a building. All big shoulders and thick arms.
He had a blond under his arm, a little thing that barely came up to his chest. I assumed this was their friend, Greer, his girl apparently.
“Mallick, brother.” Knight shook Ramses’s hand. “Glad you’re here. We can talk shop and why there ain’t no competing when it comes to Reed Corp.”
Royal dropped an arm around Knight, patting his chest. “Keep telling yourself that, brother.”
The two jostled each other like a couple of actual brothers, making their girls scoff and Ramses laugh. Ramses once again emphasized he didn’t discuss business outside of the office, and I assumed these other boys were just as affluent. I mean, I knew Royal was. I’d seen his last name Prinze all over the town, and I’d definitely heard the name Reed Corp.
Between these young men, there was a nice little empire going, a building or two named after the Mallicks on campus, and I’d seen the name Reed, as well.
Something told me there was probably a connection, and after meeting Knight and his girlfriend, Greer, who turned out to be super sweet, we all did take the party inside. The other
s headed immediately in with the things Ramses and I had brought, and when they got ahead of Ramses and me, Ramses hooked my elbow.
He held me back at the door, an inquisitive look to his brown eyes. He was searching for something in my direction. Not surprising considering the car ride.
“We can leave when you want,” he said. He pinched my chin. “If you’re uncomfortable.”
Once again, he had no reason to assume anything else.
And I hoped it’d stay that way.
As the night kicked off, Ramses may have called Knight and Greer, December and Royal’s friends, but the way he fit in with them, the way they all fit together in a snug little community of kinship, read nothing but friendship. He was friends with these people.
He fit with them.
From their jokes, to their laughter and exuberant delight. Knight did try to talk shop with Ramses. Ramses did fight him, and Royal fought laughter in the center like the poorest referee. There were finger foods tossed in mocked rivalry. There were smiles exchanged over conversation and video game controllers. There were young people having a good time and living life. There was no drama. There was just fun.
I sat in the middle watching it all, under Ramses’s arm on a couch and in a room that held a similar layout to his own. His duplex basically mirrored December and Royal’s, neighbors from the high brick walls to the wide windows. They all sat around on various couches, constant glee and laughter in the air. It felt so overwhelming.
I engaged when I could, of course. Ramses made sure I felt included and apart of him and this group. And though it should feel good to be around people, be out with him and not hiding what we were, it wasn’t as free of a feeling as it should have been. I was thinking about other things.
When was I not thinking about other things?
At one point, December decided to help clear all the dishes from the living area. To keep myself busy, I decided to help her, and Greer, the little one, joined us as well. The girl was too cute and looked like a doll.
I’d found out she was the youngest, a sophomore at the university where the others were in their final semester. They’d all be moving on soon, to the real world like Ramses after this semester.
“Thanks, Bri,” December said, taking the empty cheesecake bite platter from me. The boys had done well to quickly annihilate that and were currently arguing over business again from Royal and December’s couch.
Their friend Knight was standing up at this point, pleading his case about their friend LJ, who was apparently trying to get into whatever business endeavors the boys had going. It was falling on deaf ears as Ramses really wasn’t trying to talk about any of that. This only proved to frustrate Knight, who was going red in the face. Royal, who’d been trying not to laugh half the night, was laughing, and that just frustrated Knight more. His voice boomed at this point, and even Ramses was laughing now.
I liked his laughter, watching him. It was always so easy for him.
I noticed the other girls looking at me and I slid my smile away to help with putting away the food. “Everything was great tonight, December. Thanks for inviting me over.”
It had been nice, to be with people. I did so well about keeping to myself.
December grinned, Greer helping her refrigerate the rest of the food. After, both girls sat at the kitchen island, the view from there well without view of the boys handling each other. Eventually, when Knight was looking on the cusp of tackling both Royal and Ramses for laughing, Greer slid off her bar stool.
She said she needed to go play referee as she rolled her eyes, and I smiled. She had done that a lot tonight, calm Knight down. She appeared to be his kryptonite.
“She’s the only one who can handle that,” December stated, referencing Knight when she cupped her glass of juice. I noticed she hadn’t been drinking tonight, which surprised me. A lot of the reason the boys were so riled was because they had a few or ten drinks in them. Ramses hadn’t drank as much, but he might have just been holding back for me. He always wanted to make me comfortable. That was just who he was, and he had mentioned December drank like the rest of them.
She wasn’t now, smiling, and I thought it funny about her comment toward Knight and Greer. Royal had been the same way with her. He’d been super attentive, never far away from her. It was like he was an extension of her, which reminded me of someone else tonight.
Someone who currently had his gaze directed back at me from the couch. Funny, in the midst of a fight brewing literally in front of him, Ramses did nothing but look for me in the sea of it.
He found me, of course, always found me. He placed a wink in my direction before facing the guys, and that caused December to tilt her head.
“God, I’ve never seen him like this,” she said, and when my eyes narrowed, she eyed me. “He really likes you. Like completely likes you.”
Completely…
I fingered the wooden grains on the island, looking at Ramses. He faced away now, but his laughter radiated decibels above the others. It never failed to not make me smile.
Completely.
“He certainly seems invested,” I said, nodding. “Intense.”
Ramses was so intense, serious about this because he was. I could feel him falling, all in more and more every day.
“That’s Arizona,” she stated, and when I faced her, she grinned. She shrugged. “We met in Arizona. Just something we call each other. He calls me ‘Zona. Short for that.”
I nodded, their friendship so deep. I got it now with the story he’d told me.
December leaned in. “And I’m so sorry for how we met, Brielle. I can’t help but think what you might think of me. I mean, I looked like a cheating ass ho.”
I couldn’t help it, laughing at that. December, as I quickly found out, didn’t hide how crass she could be. She was fun in that way, fit right in with the rest of them.
Her smile was apologetic. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” And she shouldn’t. People should never apologize for being who they are, and that was her. She should never lose that, a tragedy to lose it. I lifted a shoulder. “And it’s fine. Ramses explained everything.”
“Oh, I’m sure he did.” She chuckled. “But you need to hear it from me. I’m sorry. Sorry, if lines ever looked blurred and I apologized to him, too.”
I frowned, and she opened her hands.
“One thing you’ll quickly find out about Ramses is that he loves to please,” she said. “Because he’s good. Such a good person, and it’s easy to forget that. Easy to run away with that. He’s got a good heart. A good soul.” She swung a glance his way. “And in the wrong hands, a person could take advantage. I’ve seen that. Hell, I’ve done it, too. That’s why I apologized to him. I have overstepped my boundaries when it’s come to him, more than once.”
My lips wet, definitely hearing her, and I saw what she said too. Ramses did like to please, to the point where I’d seen life make him unhappy. That was something he’d told me firsthand he’d been trying to correct.
“Can I ask you something, Bri?”
I looked at December, and for the first time, she wasn’t smiling. She’d gotten intense, too, serious.
“Are you invested?” she asked, then lifted her hand. “What I mean to say is, are you completely about him, too? I wouldn’t be a good friend unless I asked.” She swung a glance his way again. “I just worry about him. He’s had some crap in his life. Some crappy people. At least, recently.”
Recently?
She wet her lips. “He deserves all in. And like I said, he really likes you.”
I really liked him too.
That was what scared me.
“I like him too,” I almost whispered the words, haunted by them. “So much.”
The words instantly brought a smile on December’s face, but it couldn’t completely form on mine. How much I cared about Ramses wasn’t the problem. That’d never been the problem. My heart had been invested before I’d even really known it. It’d been
my brain and everything else that’d been the problem.
December hugged her arms. “I’m happy for you two,” she said. “Arizona deserves happy.”
He did, so much.
I just worried if he’d ever be able to find that happiness with me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ramses
I watched my dick disappear in and out of Brielle’s mouth, my girlfriend on her knees in my shower.
And what a fucking vision.
She’d asked to do this, God love her. I never made women give me head. Though, I loved it as much as tasting pussy. I never wanted to overwhelm them and had a time or two. They’d get all embarrassed about not being able to fit me all in, which made me feel like fucking shit because I used to ask. That was a big part of the reason I’d taken up eating pussy, no pressure there, and I’d gotten fucking great at it.
Little did I know how addicted it’d get me, and I’d forgotten about that sexual pleasure when it came to me. Well, I hadn’t forgotten. I was a fucking dude, but yeah, I’d learned to live without.
Brielle was making me a very greedy man, her head bobbing, her mouth filled with cock. The sight was enough to make me bust a nut right there, but I resisted.
Her tits soaked to the nipples under the shower, dark peaks angling down, flesh heavy. Her hair a dark veil behind her, she stared up at me with curled lashes framing her eyes, and I grunted, physically rejecting the urge to come. It struck a burn into my legs, which had them shaking, muscles locked and tense.
But then her throat opened up.
I hit the back with ease, her lips touching the base of my cock. The fact she could even do that blew my fucking mind, and it hadn’t been the first time. Brielle took whatever I gave her, accepted whatever I had for her, and as she fisted my balls, I drilled into her in return. She didn’t like me holding back.
So, I didn’t.
I growled as I jutted my hips, making her gag at every thrust. I tugged her head back, making her look at me while I fucked her mouth, and that only made her moan.