“No, sunshine. My armor is black as coal.”
“That’s not true, Sterling.”
We both lurched forward as the plane came to a stop. Out the window the sky was dark, yet the lights of the private airport illuminated the tarmac and hangars.
“Would you tell me something if I asked?”
Small creases formed around his eyes. “I won’t lie to you, Araneae. However, there are also things I won’t discuss.”
I nodded as we undid our seat belts, stood, and I began to walk forward.
“Wait,” he said, stopping my onward progress, “until the Sparrows are off the plane.”
I’d almost forgotten about the men in the room in front of us.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, Sterling pulled me close, surrounding me in his clean, spicy scent. His voice was a low whisper. “Whatever you want to ask, do it now, before there are others to hear.”
Looking up at the granite features forming—the expression he wore when around others was taking over—I smiled at the way I was beginning to understand the very complicated man before me.
“Jana’s story...” I said. “I was just wondering how many of the others, the people hopelessly devoted to you, those who bend to your schedule, and show up at the penthouse without question. How many of them have similar stories?”
“Like I said about Jana, those aren’t my stories to tell.”
“But there are others?”
He didn’t answer.
I pressed my hand against his chest over the buttons of his shirt. “You can do your best to convince me that you’re not a knight, but you are. You’re not perfect.” I grinned. “Sometimes you’re a real asshole.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“That doesn’t negate the fact that you’re also good. I hope one day you’ll see that.”
Before Sterling could respond, the partition opened and Patrick nodded toward the door to the outside. “We’re all set. The car is waiting,” Patrick said.
As Sterling reached for my hand, the one on his chest, I said, “Thank you for not fighting me about this trip. I know you’d rather have us all in Chicago behind the infrared technology.”
Letting go of my hand, he placed his in the small of my back. Straightening his broad shoulders, he led me toward the door and steps. Nodding at Keaton, Millie, and Marianne, his dark eyes scanned the tarmac. A few steps ahead of us, Patrick was doing the same, searching beyond the lights of the airstrip for what could be hidden in the darkness.
Our steps quickened as we made our way to the car.
Once we were inside the back seat with one of the large men from earlier driving and Patrick as copilot, Sterling sighed and whispered in his deep tenor, “I would much rather be home.”
That one statement would be all that was uttered while in the presence of this new man. Since I hadn’t been introduced, it meant that Sterling wanted me to stay quiet. I hadn’t cared for all of his rules in the beginning, yet with time, they’d settled in.
What seemed ridiculous a month ago was now common practice.
Fear of his punishment no longer lurked in the recesses of my consciousness. I’d come to realize that I liked some of them too much for them to be considered deterrents. It was more than consequences that influenced my willingness to concede to his rules. It was trust and respect for Sterling’s mission.
I was his.
I now accepted that without question.
In doing so, it made him mine, and I liked that thought too.
Sterling protected what was his. He’d brought me into a world that played by different rules. He’d also shown me the man behind the mask. Currently, his features were hard and unrelenting. This was the face the world saw.
In the last month, I received the gift of seeing whom the world didn’t. I knew the man who was loving and compassionate, the man who carried the weight of Chicago on his shoulders and yet could emit so much passion it radiated like lasers from his dark eyes.
Sighing, I leaned back. As the car moved through the night, I let my mind do what it had been doing for most of the plane ride: think about Louisa. Ten years replayed in my head, meeting her at St. Mary of the Forest, attending the same college, becoming what I’d suspect it would be like to be sisters.
The winter I arrived in Colorado, the second semester had already begun. Completely alone, I wasn’t sure who I could trust. Prior to my arrival, the school had been told the story of my parents’ death in an automobile accident, Phillip and Debbie Hawkins. There was a counselor there as well as the headmistress of the school, both of whom took me under their wings, reassuring me that I would be safe and looked after.
I recalled not knowing how any of it would work.
Everything was foreign and unknown.
I tried to do as Josey had said and be strong, but at sixteen and alone, I wasn’t sure how to do it. I knew there were others who at sixteen were far worse off than being placed in an elite boarding school. Josey had warned me that if I were found, my future would be unsure.
Life in a private school in the mountains of Colorado was starkly different than my life in Mount Pleasant, Illinois. Gone was the community, the homes of my friends and their families, even their pets. The cat I’d had since I was young passed away at the ripe old age of thirteen. He’d been a great cat; however, I was certain had he been alive, I wouldn’t have been able to bring him to Colorado.
The commute to and from class was now a walk instead of a drive. My home that I’d shared with Josey and Byron was also gone, simply a memory of what life had been. With the exception of the one picture and the charm bracelet, that life was as if it had never existed. Even my name was different.
Every now and then, I’d recall the way my mother helped me with my homework, patient and diligent, and the way she’d taught me to sew. It was my father who helped me with my math. While Josey nurtured my creativity in all things, Byron instilled my love of numbers. Those memories would bring a smile to my face and a tear to my eye.
The first few days at St. Mary’s were some of the loneliest of my entire life.
Each student—it was an all-girls school—had her own dorm room. My home went from a three-bedroom ranch in suburbia to a single room containing a desk, bed, closet, and dresser. I’d arrived with no possessions except the clothes on my back. The room I’d been assigned had the basic needs, sheets, pillows, and blankets on the bed, and towels and washcloths for the communal bathroom.
The second day, instead of attending classes, Mrs. Shepherd, the counselor I’d met the day before, took me into Denver to shop for my needed supplies. Somehow, according to Josey, Byron had set up a trust fund in my new name that allowed me spending money. I wasn’t confident in what I had to spend, only that Mrs. Shepherd assured me that I was able to purchase what I needed.
Perhaps that was part of my reasoning for refusing Sterling’s order, the one that came in the empty box, the one to move to Chicago with nothing. I’d done that before, made a move without bringing tangible memories. Yes, the clothes and cosmetics he’d supplied were luxurious. Nevertheless, I couldn’t and wouldn’t lose everything again.
It was the third day at St. Mary’s as I sat eating breakfast in the cafeteria that I met Louisa. She and two other girls our age sat down with me at my otherwise-empty table and introduced themselves. I was taken aback, so shocked and lonely that at first, I forgot how to respond beyond polite answers. As time passed, we found more and more things we had in common. By spring break that year, Louisa invited me to go on vacation with her family. I’d already met her parents and sister during the times they’d come to campus and take Louisa out to eat or times she’d go home for a night.
The years in my mind blur as I think about how the Nelsons took me in and gave me what I’d lost—at least a bit of it—of a family. If it hadn’t been for the Nelsons, I couldn’t imagine how I would have turned out. Entering an all-girls school at sixteen years of age, knowing no one, and having no one was und
oubtedly the scariest moment of my life.
A grin came to my face as I turned toward Sterling.
Sterling Sparrow was intimidating and domineering, yet he wasn’t scary, not to me.
I had to wonder how all the pieces of my multiple lives prepared me for where I was today, for being Araneae McCrie.
Araneae
Entering a hospital in the middle of the night, or should I say morning, was nothing like entering it during the day. The large rotating glass door spun until Sterling, Patrick, and I were inside. Silence met us as the shiny floors surrounding the middle waiting area reflected the dimmed lighting. Within the center of two-story-tall pillars were large plants and groupings of chairs. Up to the second-floor railing, the hallways were barren. The gift shop was closed, and the white grand piano was without a player. Even the guest services desk, which was most likely manned by volunteers, was empty.
It wasn’t like we needed a volunteer’s guidance. We had the knower of most things leading us. We had Patrick. I didn’t even think to question as to whether or not he knew where he was going. Another thing I’d learned over the last month was not to doubt his knowledge. Sterling and I followed him toward the bank of elevators. With each step, Sterling continued his constant surveillance of our surroundings.
We rode upward in silence, my mind on Louisa, while the two men with me were monitoring our safety. The elevator doors opened to our desired floor without a stop on any other.
Apparently, the lack of visitors at this time was to our advantage.
Following behind Patrick, it was Lindsey, Louisa’s sister, whom I saw first. Beside her was a large handsome man I didn’t recognize; however, as soon as we entered, his eyes widened at the sight of Sterling.
Probably my imagination.
“Kenni!” Lindsey squealed as she jumped up and ran my way, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Lindsey...” I stepped back and took her in from her long, dark hair and blue eyes to her athletic body. She was a carbon copy of a younger Louisa. “How’s Lou doing?” I looked around the room, waving to Calvin, Louisa’s father, and Winnie. There were also members of Jason’s family present. I’d met them a time or two, but I couldn’t recall their names.
Hell, when it came to names, hearing the one they were calling me now sounded foreign. I was used to being Ms. Hawkins at work, but this was different.
“She’s doing great.” Lindsey’s nose scrunched. “I think. This is all new but I know she’s ready.”
I laughed. Louisa had been telling me she was ready for the last month.
“When did you get in from Boston?” I asked.
“A few hours ago.” She pointed to the good-looking man. “This is Marcel.”
Marcel nodded, his gaze moving between me, Patrick, and Sterling.
“We’ve been dating for a few weeks,” Lindsey said.
“Hello, Marcel. Nice to meet you. I’m...Kennedy Hawkins.” I tried not to hesitate. After I finished introducing Sterling and Patrick to our intimate group, Winnie came forward.
“Kennedy...” She turned to Sterling. “Mr. Sparrow.”
I wasn’t sure of all the details of what had transpired here last weekend in Boulder, what kind of understanding Winnie and Sterling had come to. Whatever it was, the tension seemed to ripple through the air with a palpable bit of unease.
“Ms. Douglas,” Patrick said, redirecting her attention. As he did, Lucy, Louisa’s mother, entered our area, coming toward us through double doors.
“Kennedy,” she said with a smile. “I’m so glad you made it. Would you like to come back and see Louisa?”
Tears filled my eyes as one of the many mothers I’d known embraced me. When we pulled back, I asked, “May I? Is it okay?”
She smiled and nodded at Sterling and Patrick.
As she did, I began another set of introductions. “Lucy Nelson, this is my boyfriend...” Yes, there needed to be a better term. “...Sterling Sparrow and our friend Patrick Kelly.” I hadn’t been told not to introduce them or use their real names; however, there was something out of place with having them here—my new life in my old life.
Then again, Marcel, the man beside Lindsey, gave off the same air.
You’re being paranoid, I told myself.
“Nice to meet you,” Lucy said with a nod. “The hospital only allows two people back in the LDR room at a time, besides Jason. I think we’re getting close to meeting Kennedy Lucille.” She smiled my way. “I know Louisa wants to see you.”
Sterling squeezed my hand drawing my attention back to him. A small part of me hesitated to turn his direction, to see his expression. I knew that no matter his opinion, I was going through those double doors to see Louisa. My experience at the church in Cambridge taught me that while Sterling wouldn’t make a scene here, he’d be certain to bring it up later.
Why bring me here if I wasn’t allowed out of his sight?
With a deep breath I refocused on the man at my side. When I turned, I saw and heard the opposite of what I expected.
“Tell her hello from me, sunshine.”
A smile bloomed over my face.
Sterling and Patrick had probably thought this scenario through and expected as much. Hell, knowing them, there were Sparrows dressed as medical staff beyond the doors. I decided to not let that thought fester.
“Thank you,” I mouthed Sterling’s direction before I turned and followed Lucy through the double doors.
Once alone, Lucy turned my way. “Kenni, I have to ask. Are you safe?”
Since I met her, Lucy had been similar to Josey in many ways—one was the way she was always a straight shooter. That was a quality that had endeared her to me. At this moment, her straightforwardness was less endearing and more alarming.
As her question filled my ears, my steps stilled as the mysteries of my life washed over me. Warning bells rang in my head. “Why would you ask that?”
She reached for my hand. “Honey, we love you. We always have. But I can’t help but worry.” She tilted her head toward the waiting room. “That man.”
“Sterling,” I said defensively, almost adding that he was in real estate, “...we’re dating. He helped me get here so fast.”
Lucy let out a long breath as if she were weighing her words. “Kenni, the day after you arrived at St. Mary of the Forest...” She swallowed.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention as the alarm bells grew louder, their ring now a shrill squeal. “Tell me.”
“Mrs. Gore...” The headmistress of St. Mary of the Forest. “...called and asked me to come to her office. She told me about you and your unique situation. She was moved by all you’d endured and wanted to help. However, the board of trustees had strict rules about the interaction of faculty and students. So she asked if Calvin and I would assist with looking after you and welcoming you to St. Mary of the Forest and to Colorado.”
“What?” My mind was having difficulty keeping up. “You’re telling me that none of it was real? Y-you...Lou...?”
Lucy squeezed my hand, the one still in her grasp. “Honey, Mrs. Gore gave me a letter. In it, it said that you might be in danger. A name was mentioned. Not an entire name but a last name.”
“That was ten years ago.” My head was shaking. “Why would you want me around if you thought I could bring danger?”
“That was never a question. We have two daughters and when I looked at you, I saw them. You needed someone and our hearts were open. Kennedy, we grew to love you. I asked Louisa to introduce herself. I never told her about the warning.”
“You didn’t think to tell me?”
“I wanted to believe it wasn’t true. I didn’t want to scare you. And the name, it wasn’t connected to a first name. I didn’t know for sure...”
My head shook.
“I don’t know if you remember,” Lucy went on, “but one time we were all skiing and the lifts stopped. Once we made it back to the condo, it had been broken into. We knew there was a risk in ag
reeing, but you were worth it.”
“I do remember that.” I blinked as tears prickled the back of my eyes. “But you lied to me. The whole thing, making me feel like I was part of the family, it all was a lie.”
“No. We never lied to you. I asked Louisa to introduce herself; the rest was real. You two were meant to be friends. As I said, Louisa never knew Mrs. Gore asked us to help. She doesn’t know now.”
I worked to swallow the lump in my throat. “Then why are you choosing this time to tell me this?”
“Because I’m concerned about you with him.”
My emotions were all over the place as I stared into Lucy’s eyes.
It took a moment as we stood in the quiet hallway a few yards from the sparsely manned nurses’ station. Finally, standing taller, I found my voice. “I can say with one hundred percent certainty that Sterling Sparrow has been the most honest person in my life. He’s been open with me.” In ways you apparently haven’t. I didn’t say the last part, although my breaking heart told me that it was true.
“Winnie mentioned the other man is always with you,” Lucy said.
“Sterling is overprotective.”
“You know you can tell me if there’s more. I’ll do my best to help you. That’s always been my goal.”
I took a deep breath, fighting the feeling that I’d just lost another parent. Maybe she’s being honest. Perhaps Lucy had been looking out for me, but with her confession, I heard more. I’d come too far in the last month to let emotions bog me down. In her confession, I also heard the opportunity for obtaining more information on my past. “Did you know anything about my parents?”
“Debbie and Phillip Hawkins?”
I didn’t answer.
Finally, Lucy nodded. “In that letter, one that accompanied the information about your trust fund...No one else read it. It was sealed, only to be opened by the person or persons who would commit to watching over you.”
“Was it from my parents?”
Her eyes closed. “I was never supposed to tell you. From what I understood, everything they prepared for you was because they loved you and they wanted you to be safe.”
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