by Zoey Lennox
Alexis broke off a piece of her apple Danish and popped it into her mouth. “Am I, though? I have to admit, the work’s a lot more physically demanding than I first thought.”
Sympathy clouded Shay’s cat-like eyes. “Of course you are. There’s going to be a bit of an adjustment period while you find your feet, but you’re up to the job just as much as anyone else is.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so. I also know Dan was taken aback when you returned with a full cart. I knew he was testing you as soon as he sent you off to deliver the mail sacks. He fully expected you to come back empty-handed so he could tear you apart. I had that dressing down on my first day a few years back. He went on and on about common sense and forward planning. I was almost in tears by the time he was finished, but you know what? I never forgot to pick up those bloody sacks again.”
Alexis smiled. So she’d passed the first hurdle. Maybe things weren’t as dire as she’d thought.
Chapter 13
Alexis was pleased to find that, as Shay had predicted, Dan soon eased up on his vendetta against her. She was quickly learning that his disciplined, no-nonsense attitude had its merits, one of them being that the university post office was one of the very few departments at the whole university that got to clock off at five o’clock sharp.
“Where are you off to?” Shay asked as Alexis changed out of her uniform and into a maroon top splashed with silver glitter. The other woman appraised her critically through the mirror mounted above the sink in the ladies’ toilets, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow when Alexis applied a liberal squirt of perfume to her pulse points.
“Just out.” Alexis avoided her eyes. She was going on a date with Ramie, but she wasn’t ready to out herself to the whole world yet. Her stomach did a nervous flip. This would be their first date in almost two weeks. She’d tried to arrange something sooner, but Ramie had been surprisingly difficult to get hold of.
When no more details were forthcoming, Shay turned from the mirror. “Could it be that you’re going on a date?”
Alexis didn’t take the bait.
“Come on,” Shay said. “I think it’s cute if you are. At least one of us will be getting some. I’ve been an old maid for over a year now. Who knows when I’ll find myself a decent woman.”
Alexis stopped in her tracks. Wait. Shay was gay too?
Shay noticed her reaction, and her features hardened. “You haven’t got a problem with that, have you? Me being a lesbian, I mean.”
Alexis met her gaze. “Of course not. You just took me by surprise, that’s all.”
Shay stared hard at Alexis before apparently deciding she was being sincere.
“If you must know, I am going on a date,” Alexis revealed. No point in withholding her sexuality now. “Her name’s Ramie.”
A smile that started small slowly stretched across Shay’s face. “Well, well, well,” she drawled. “What do you know. A fellow sapphic sister. I don’t know how you managed to slip under my radar. It’s usually finely tuned and in working order.”
Alexis shrugged and latched her handbag onto her shoulder. “It’s still quite new, and she’s taking me out to a swanky restaurant for dinner.”
“Nice. Do you have a picture of your leading lady?”
“Hold on.” Alexis flicked through her phone and pulled up a selfie she had taken with Ramie the morning after their first night together.
Shay leaned in close to look at the screen. “You seem happy, but then, so would I if I’d just been fucked.”
Alexis gasped and snatched back her phone from view. “How’d you know that?”
Shay laughed. “You’ve both got that after sex glow thing going on. It’s all right. I think it’s sweet.”
Alexis shook off her embarrassment. “Look, I’d better get going. She’s probably waiting for me.”
“Enjoy yourself!” Shay called after her.
Alexis held up a hand as she walked off. When she reached the bus stop, Ramie was already waiting. Wearing tailored black trousers and a midnight green wraparound top beneath a faux black leather jacket, she was a beacon of light in a bus queue of dowdy office workers.
“Hey,” she said.
Alexis wanted to lean in and give her a kiss but didn’t know where Ramie stood with PDAs. She was pleased when Ramie pulled her into her arms and pecked her cheek.
“Have you decided which restaurant we’re going to yet?” Alexis asked as they boarded the crowded bus. She pushed past the throngs of tightly packed bodies, leaning into Ramie’s strong hand which pressed gently into the small of her back.
“Yep,” Ramie said as they took a seat. “How do you feel about Julian’s?”
“The Portuguese place? How’d you get a reservation? The waiting list runs into months.”
Ramie tapped her nose. “I have my ways.”
Alexis inched closer and rested her head on Ramie’s shoulder. “I knew there were other reasons I dated you besides your narrowboat.”
Ramie was so thoughtful. Knowing she had gone out of her way to set this dinner date up gave Alexis a little thrill. She’d have to find a way to pay back the favour.
As the bus trundled through the winding roads, the windows steamed up. Alexis rubbed a peep hole into the glass and peered out into the darkness. Cars swooped by in quick succession as people rushed home from work. She had been one of them not so long ago. Racing from one place she hated to another. She sometimes had to pinch herself to believe the sharp upturn her life had recently taken.
The bus came to a halt and Alexis disembarked, her arm linked with Ramie’s. The streets were busy at this time of night, and Ramie suggested cutting through a side road and stopping by the LGBTQ centre seeing as their reservation wasn’t for another hour.
“It would be good to get an update on Jed. Kenya thought she might be making some progress on getting his parents to agree to a meeting and I’d love to find out if she’s had any success.”
“Sure.” Alexis swished the air in front of her with her arm. “Lead the way.”
When they drew level with the building, Alexis hung back. “I’ll wait for you out here. I have a few voicemail messages I need to listen to.”
Ramie gave Alexis a quick peck. “Are you sure?”
Alexis nodded. Anything to avoid another run-in with Kenya. The woman made her feel two inches tall.
The minutes ticked by, and Alexis finished listening to her messages and shoved her hands into her pockets.
More minutes passed, and Ramie still didn’t emerge.
Alexis startled when there was a bang at the window. Corey stood flapping his hand backwards and forwards in a bid to get her attention.
“Come inside!” he mouthed through the glass.
Alexis shook her head and smiled, hoping it would be enough to discourage the determined boy. No such luck. Moments later the door opened, and he shouted out into the street.
“Ramie says you should come inside. Hector’s running late so she’s going to cover.”
Alexis tried not to let her frustration show. It wasn’t Corey’s fault that Ramie had once again gotten roped into helping.
Just like the last time she entered the centre, the sofas in the living room were filled with teenagers: Lacey and Corey, as well as a much more confident looking Jed, and a few extra faces she hadn’t yet met. As Alexis took a seat on one of the extra chairs that had been placed around the room, Ramie came bustling in.
“Hey, Lex. Can I have a quick word?”
Alexis jumped back up and followed Ramie into the small kitchen.
“I’m sorry.” Ramie took Alexis’s hands and rubbed gentle circles with her thumbs. “I told K I had plans, but she twisted my arm. A member of staff is running late and the kids need supervising until he arrives.”
Alexis pressed their foreheads together. How could she be mad when Ramie was so incredibly sweet. “It’s all right. Where’s Kenya? Can’t she supervise the kids?”
Ramie rubbed at her
eyes. “She could do, but we’re holding a Christmas fundraiser in a couple of months and she’s swamped with preparations right now. I thought it was only right to relieve some of that pressure by agreeing to step in and help. We’ll be out of here in time to make our reservation. I promise.”
Alexis had never given much consideration to how the charity kept itself afloat, but it made sense that fundraising played an integral part. A pang of guilt swept through her. She was so selfish. So what if her plans with Ramie were delayed?
“Come on.” Ramie grabbed Alexis’s hand and led her back towards the living room. “Hector shouldn’t be too long. Let’s go talk to the kids about the fundraiser while we wait for him.”
Sitting down on one of the hardback chairs, she patted the seat at her side and Alexis joined her.
“All right everyone. Settle down,” she yelled.
Most of the rowdy bunch stopped talking at Ramie’s command, but Lacey and Corey continued their favourite pastime, bickering.
“Enough!” Ramie’s authoritative tone immediately snapped them out of their confrontation.
Lacey scowled at Corey and crossed her arms. “I’m not sitting next to him. Someone needs to swap seats with me.” Her gaze fell to Ramie’s hand resting on Alexis’s leg. “Are you two dating now?” Her scowl deepened.
Ramie shot her a warning glance. “Yes, we are. Now, is anybody willing to swap seats with Lacey? I’d like to talk to you guys about something.”
After a shuffling of chairs, Jed offered up his seat, and then Ramie finally had everyone’s attention.
“Okay.” She clapped her hands together. “I’m sure you’ve all heard a lot of speculation about the Christmas fundraiser—”
“Is it still going to be held at the town hall?” a boy Alexis had never seen before asked.
“Yeah,” Corey added. “Will there be a live band?”
Ramie nodded in answer to both questions. “Tickets will be available for sale from this evening. I recommend you snag them while you can because we’ve got a very special guest attending who I’m sure you’ll not want to miss.”
A hush went around the room before chaos ensued.
“Is it Sam Smith?” Jed asked. The excitement in his earnest eyes was obvious.
“Don’t be stupid,” Lacey sneered. “It’ll probably be some Z-list celeb no one’s ever heard of. They’ve got to make out it’s going to be someone good or they won’t sell tickets.”
Alexis tried to muffle her chuckle. She had no idea who this mystery guest was, but Lacey was right. The chance of it being someone who commanded a hefty appearance fee was slim. Lacey was a lot of things, but stupid apparently wasn’t one of them.
“Thank you for that helpful insight Lacey,” Ramie said. “I guess you won’t be attending the fundraiser then, judging by your lack of interest.”
The shock on Lacey’s face was priceless. “Whatever.” She flicked her blonde hair and lifted her chin. “It’s not like there’s anything else going on around here to fill my time with.”
Ramie shot Alexis an amused smile. “The event will take place on Saturday the fourteenth of December and it’s going to be a black-tie affair. That gives you two whole months to shop for tuxes and dresses.”
“Cool.” Jed gave Corey a high-five. “I’ve always wanted to wear a tux.”
“We can get ready at my house,” Lacey said to a couple of other girls. Now dressing up was involved she’d apparently warmed up to the idea of attending the fundraiser.
“Doors will open at 8pm and close at midnight,” Ramie said. “And we’ll be holding a raffle, so you’ll be in with a chance of winning some incredible prizes.”
Excited chatter erupted between the teens.
“Right.” Ramie clasped her hands. “Now I’ve given you the scoop I’ll let you get back to whatever you were talking about before we came in.”
“We were sharing coming out stories,” Corey said. As the kids around him quietened down he added, “Will you tell us yours?”
“Go on,” Alexis urged when it looked like Ramie might refuse. If Ramie could offer support through the telling of her story, then she should share it.
Ramie leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs which were stretched out in front of her. “Okay, let’s see. I was fifteen when I came out to my mum. I’d been attracted to girls for a while but had put off telling her as I was convinced she’d reject me. Looking back, I had no reason to be worried. We had, and still do have, a close relationship, and she never gave me any reason to believe she was homophobic. Still, this was me putting myself out there in front of someone I loved, and I’d heard lots of stories about people being disowned.”
“What happened?” Jed asked.
“Nothing happened. I blurted it out over dinner, and my mum said, ‘Oh, I already knew that, sweetheart. It’s nice you finally felt comfortable enough to confide in me’.”
“Wow.” Jed’s voice was awed. “I wish my parents were that cool. When I sat mine down to tell them I was into guys, my dad went ballistic and slapped me.”
“How about your mum, dude?” Corey asked. “Did she defend you? Tell him to back off?”
“No. She just stood there and cried. She said she didn’t raise her little boy to be depraved. I think that hurt more than the slap. She looked so disappointed in me.”
Alexis’s heart bled for Jed. Being different was tough enough without the added complication of unsupportive parents. How could his mother and father live with themselves? He was still the same boy they knew and loved.
“What about you, Alexis?” Jed asked. “What’s your story? Were your parents jerks like mine? I bet they weren’t. Only I’m unlucky enough to have my entire family turn against me.”
Alexis wasn’t prepared for this.
Ramie must have sensed her alarm. “How about we let Alexis off just this once. I know you might not think it, but it’s kind of intimidating speaking in front of you lot.”
“No, it’s okay,” Alexis found herself saying. She didn’t know why; she hadn’t even come out to her dad yet, but if these kids could be brave enough to bare their souls, the least she could do was try and give them some hope.
“Are you sure?” Concern radiated from Ramie’s eyes.
“Of course.” She snagged one of the cans of Coke from the coffee table and tried to wet her suddenly dry throat.
Shit. What could she say? She was supposed to be an experienced, all-knowing, adult lesbian here. Her story should be poignant yet inspiring. Something that showed these kids that there was reason for optimism, even when it might not seem like it.
She took a deep breath and said the first thing that came into her head. “I was sixteen when my dad caught me in bed with my girlfriend.”
A round of shocked gasps filled the room.
“I know, shocking eh?” Alexis laughed. “Talk about mortifying. I’d been with Katie for a year at that point but hadn’t been ready to tell anyone. Seeing as my dad was a doctor and encountered all sorts of people, I figured he’d be fine with it. As it turned out, though… he wasn’t. He completely flipped and told me I had five minutes to pack my bags.”
“What about your mum?” Lacey asked.
Alexis stared at her lap. Surely, she’d go to Hell for speaking ill of the dead. “She was more supportive, but she always followed my dad’s lead in these things.”
“Did they cut you off?” Lacey pressed. “My mum kicked me out of the house when she found out. I had to stay with my girlfriend until my grandma stepped in and said I could live with her.”
Alexis pushed back her guilt at throwing her parents under the bus. “Yeah. I sofa surfed friends’ houses for a while, but it didn’t take long for me to overstay my welcome. When I realised I had nowhere else to go, I ended up on the streets.” She tried to imagine what life as a homeless teen would be like. “It was a particularly harsh winter that year, and I was terrified being so vulnerable. I only lasted a week before I was found by a homeless charity.
I was suffering from hypothermia and taken straight to A&E.”
Lacey leaned forward in her seat. “Did they call your parents? Did they come and visit?”
Alexis took a moment to consider where to take her story. There was no reason to get carried away and pile on the drama.
“Surprisingly, yes. I was in pretty bad shape, and I think the shock of seeing me like that was the wakeup call they needed. It took a while, but they eventually came around. Things are much better these days.”
“Do you think my parents will come around?” Jed asked.
Alexis met his tear-filled gaze. “I think there’s a good chance.” Her guilt at telling such a massive lie receded, knowing she’d given this boy something to cling onto.
“Alexis is right,” Ramie agreed. “I think it’s important to point out that most of us grapple with our sexual identity for a long time before we come to terms with it. When we share this information with loved ones, we need to keep in mind that they’re hearing it for the first time. It’s often shocking and unexpected, yet we expect them to be on board with it immediately. We need to consider where they’re coming from. Their child’s no longer the person they perceived. It makes sense that it would take time for them to get their head around the whole thing. We just need to be patient with them.”
An Indian girl with long dark braids raised her hand. “That’s a bit like what happened with my family. When my mum found out I didn’t like boys she was devastated. She cried for days, but it turned out the thing she was upset about the most was her belief that I would never get married or give her grandchildren. After we came here and Ramie had a chat with her, she started to see that those things were still possible; they’d just happen in a different way than she first imagined. Once she realised her hopes and dreams for me weren’t ruined, she came around quickly.”
“Not your dad though,” Lacey added.
The girl lowered her head. “No. Not my dad, but he’s pretty set in his cultural belief system.”