by Nicole Casey
“Now go congratulate her,” Dad told me, a grunt in his voice. “Your mother and I have wedding plans to make.”
“We don’t have to include that wretched family in the planning, do we?” Mom asked, her eyes widening with worry. “I can’t spend two minutes in the room with Margaret Mavis before wanting to scratch my own ears out. Her voice reminds me of nails on a chalkboard.”
“I don’t think we can exclude them entirely, Carm. I mean…”
I left my parents to discuss the Mavises and went to find my sister who was in her room, staring at her reflection in the glass. I had to pause for a second and stare at her because in that minute, she looked so happy.
Her grey eyes were glowing and she smiled at herself as she brushed her dark hair. I strained when I heard her humming lightly to herself. Whatever I thought about the impending union, it was ultimately her choice. That didn’t mean I had to like it but I knew I needed to accept it and really, when had Ella ever looked so content?
What does it matter? You’re going to be long gone in September. You won’t see her except at holidays now. They can have whatever drama they’re making for themselves.
The thought made me sad for some reason, like it hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that I wouldn’t see my family but sporadically. Until learning how dysfunctional the Mavises were, Doug and Maggie always fighting, their kids antisocial, I’d never realized how good I had it with my own family.
“Are you spying on me, Mal?”
I started at the sound of Ella’s voice and blinked. I must have slipped into a reverie.
“Like you’re that interesting,” I retorted. “I heard you’re getting hitched.”
She gazed at me from the vanity and I could see her eyes shadow.
“So what if I am?” she asked tensely. “You got something to say about it?”
I shrugged and moved into the room even though I hadn’t been invited. I plopped onto her bed unceremoniously and studied her face for a minute.
“Congrats?” I said, intentionally making it a question. The corners of her mouth turned in.
“Thanks.”
“You sure about this?”
“I don’t want to fight with you too, Mal.”
“I’m not fighting with you. I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing.” I had already forgotten my vow to join my parents in accepting in their resignation.
“Obviously I know what I’m doing. You’re too young to understand, Mal,” Ella sighed. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in love.”
“You were younger than me when you hooked up with this jackass,” I reminded her and her frown only deepened.
“Don’t talk about Gray that way. He’s got his flaws for sure but we all do. You don’t know him. You haven’t made the effort to get to know him.”
“I know his sister is a bitch,” I volunteered.
Where did that come from? Why am I bring up Blake right now?
“Maybe she thinks you’re an asshole,” Ella retorted. “Banging half the cheerleading squad and never calling them again?”
I was immediately defensive.
“It wasn’t half of them…” I muttered, hearing how lame it sounded as I spoke.
“My point, brother, is that you’ll know love when you find it and you’ll be willing to overlook all the other person’s imperfections because you just complete one another. You’re not there yet but Gray and I have found it with each other.”
I opened my mouth to argue again but promptly shut it. There was sincerely no point in wasting my breath.
“Mal, don’t look at me like that. We’re going to have a nice wedding—Daddy said he’d take care of it. Grayson might even ask you to be in the wedding party.”
I scoffed but quickly shut my mouth again.
“Come on, Mal. You’re supposed to be my brother and support me.”
“I do,” I mumbled reluctantly. “And I’m happy for you.”
There was no sincerity in my tone but at least I mustered the words. I could see she appreciated the effort.
“Now get out of my room,” Ella concluded. “And never spy on me again.”
I snickered.
“I told you—there’s nothing interesting going on with you. Like ever.”
She laughed and whipped a makeup sponge at me.
I paused at the doorway and looked at her.
“What?” She demanded.
“So…if you marry Grayson—”
“You mean when I marry Grayson,” she interrupted, exasperated.
“Right. When you marry Grayson…” I stopped, suddenly realizing what I was about to ask and I felt my ears burning with humiliation.
What is wrong with you? Why do you care so much that you’re thinking this twice in one day?
“I’m waiting!” Ella called in a singsong voice. “What about when I marry Grayson?”
“Nothing,” I replied quickly, rushing away before she could see the tinge of my cheeks. I felt like an idiot.
But I couldn’t stop wondering how close in relations Blake Mavis and I would be once they got married.
It’s because the idea makes you sick, I told myself but deep, deep, deep down, I knew that I found Blake cute and I didn’t want to be fantasizing about any of my kin.
I shuddered at the thought.
That choking incident deprived your brain of oxygen for too long. You have brain damage, I decided and that was how I left it.
3
Blake
Eleven Years Ago
I didn’t want to admit it but I found the entire college experience overwhelming. My expectations were that once I landed at Berkeley, I’d be off and running but I found myself more jogging around in circles.
Didn’t I just pass this building? Is this map purposely trying to mess with my head?
I was staying in residence for the first year but I had already started seeking out leads for a house for the second year. I could tell I wasn’t going to fare well inside the dorms. It reminded me too much of home already with the noise and fighting, even if it was done in banter. I wanted some peace and quiet, something I could only find in the corner of my room, with my earbuds in. That wasn’t what I was looking for.
Even still, I forced myself to ignore the outside noise that I’d been trained to do for so long. My parents’ endless bickering had taught me well after all. I could get through my first year—I was halfway there anyway.
I’d been home and back for Christmas break, an awkward affair since Gray hadn’t been there. He’d been invited to the Laurier’s for dinner and while we had too, my parents steadfastly refused “to have anything to do with those people.”
Personally, I was relieved. It was uncomfortable enough sitting through Mom and Dad’s not-so-passive/aggressive jabs at one another. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like sitting through an entire meal with the Lauriers.
Especially not after what happened at the wedding.
I shivered slightly as the thought of Mal crossed my mind, despite the warmth of the California sun on my face.
It was January in the Golden State and even though the locals considered it cold, the temperatures dropping to fifty-five degrees, it was outright balmy to me. My DNA was made for this weather, not the bitter cold of Colorado. I was home, even if I didn’t know anyone.
Across the campus, I could see the students who also hailed from colder climates. Some of my fellow classmates even donned shorts to commemorate their first time celebrating a winter without snow.
“Hey Blake!”
I turned at the sound of my name and watched as Beth Jansen scampered toward me, her dark bob fanning in the wind. I slowed to let her approach.
“Hey.”
“You going to Peterson’s lecture today?”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked hopefully. If there was a way I could skip the man’s sonorous drone for two hours, I would happily have taken it but Beth laughed.
“Not if we want to pas
s oceanography.”
It was supposed to be fun, getting a bachelor’s in science. I had always had a passion for biology after all and high school had made the subject interesting. Who would have thought that listening to Professor Peterson drone on about microorganisms would make me want to lapse into a coma? It made me long for high school…well, not really. I might have missed the classes but I didn’t miss the people.
College was an entirely different experience. No one cared that I wanted to keep to myself. I was surrounded by other nerds like me, ones who weren’t ridiculed for reading. Not to say there wasn’t a slew of jocks and princesses but they were easily avoided. And next year I’d be living off campus and away from the frat boys and sorority girls. Then I would be completely free of any reminder of my childhood. Or so I hoped.
“I’m having a get together on Friday night at my dorm,” Beth told me, huffing as she tried to keep up the pace. She was a chunky girl and the first friend I’d make since coming to Berkeley. I liked her but she was a little bit of a hanger-on. I was probably being over-sensitive. I hadn’t ever really had people want to spend time with me the way Beth wanted to and I didn’t know how to handle it.
“Uh…sure, that sounds good,” I told her. “What’s the occasion?”
“It’s my birthday,” she replied and I arched an eyebrow in surprise.
“Well that sucks,” I laughed. “You must get ripped off, it being so close to Christmas.”
Beth chuckled.
“Don’t I know it.”
I nodded slowly.
“What time?”
“Anytime after seven is good.”
“What can I bring?”
“Just yourself. It won’t be a big thing. Just a few friends, some drinks, maybe some Just Dance.”
I groaned to myself but maintained the smile on my face. The idea of a bunch of geeks dancing around to a video game made me cringe.
“Sounds good, Beth.”
We paused in front of Valley Life Science Building and Beth sighed.
“I’ve gotta pee. I’ll meet you inside.”
I nodded and watched as she waddled off toward the bathrooms but before I could climb the steps to the entrance, I saw something out of the corner of my eye and I whirled, my heart pounding.
Was that who I thought it was?
He was gone though and I wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me. It had happened a lot since the wedding—I thought I caught a glimpse of Malcolm Laurier in the weirdest spots but of course that was ridiculous. He was wherever he was—far away from Berkeley. I assumed he was at some private college that his parents had bought their way into. I couldn’t envision that Mal had the grades to attend college otherwise. I would never have to see him again, not unless I ran into him when I was visiting my parents and that was unlikely since I rarely left the house when I was in Sterling.
The wedding between my brother and his sister had been a whirlwind of bitter emotions which had reached a fever pitch at the reception. I was a little surprised my mom hadn’t made a scene in the church but I privately wondered if Dad hadn’t slipped her a Xanax or something to keep her quiet.
It wasn’t until she’d gotten into the champagne that she confronted Carmen Laurier. I couldn’t be sure how the conversation had started but I remember watching in horrified fascination as their respective husbands yanked the women apart and dragged them into separate parts of the massive banquet hall.
“Your mom is a piece of work,” a voice in my ear had rasped and I spun to glare at Mal with contempt.
“My mom?” I retorted. “Have you seen what your parents raised?”
I was referring to both him and his sister, of course. We glared at one another but I couldn’t help but notice how attractive he looked in his tux. Mal had stood up with Grayson, a fact which had annoyed me endlessly but I didn’t say anything to my brother. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything to upset the Princess, no matter what my opinion was on the matter. He’d made his choice and there wasn’t anything anyone could do about it.
If he wants this oversexed pig to stand up at his wedding, who am I to say boo?
Secretly I wondered if I wasn’t mad because Ella hadn’t asked me to stand in her wedding party. She had chosen her friends and a cousin without even asking me, further enhancing my poor opinion of her. I was certain she’d forced Grayson to include Mal on his side. Why couldn’t Grayson insist that I was a bridesmaid too?
I didn’t want to stand up with those phonies anyway, I thought firmly even though I was well aware of how petulant I sounded in my own head. I had a good case of sour grapes and I hated myself for it.
These were just things that never occurred to me before the Lauriers had forced their way into our lives.
“You’re much prettier when you smile,” Mal mocked me and my scowl deepened.
“I wish I could say you’re more attractive when you shut your mouth but that’s not true.”
He grinned disarmingly.
“I know. I’m hot no matter what I do.”
I hated the way he twisted my words and I hated even more that he was right. Smiling or not, he was gorgeous.
He’s a gorgeous, arrogant prick. Why do good looks always fall to the undeserving?
I turned to leave him but he grabbed my arm, the feel of his hand over my bare skin sending a fission of unexpected heat through my body.
Get it together, Blake. You’re probably going to get cooties now.
“Let’s get a drink,” he suggested and to my absolute shock, I found myself nodding before I could refuse. Instead, I let him lead us toward one of the two bars set up in the ballroom.
“What are you drinking?”
“Vodka and OJ,” I replied. Recklessly, I added, “Make it a double.”
The bartender nodded, not bothering to ask us for ID as Mal ordered a beer.
“That went better than I expected,” he commented and I eyed him through my peripheral vision.
“What did? The ceremony?” I asked dubiously and he nodded.
“You think so?”
“I thought for sure your parents would make a scene, stand up and protest the union.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to tell him I was just as surprised. I had half expected my mom to thrust a handful of photographs forward, courtesy of some PI she’d hired to follow Ella or something equally ridiculous. I had to admit, Mal was right—it could have gone a lot worse.
The bartender slid the drinks over the bar and Mal handed me mine. Our fingers brushed and once more, I was overwhelmed by heat by his touch.
Seriously, Blake? I yelled at myself. This is Malcolm Laurier. He’s not only the brother of the wretched Princess, he’s the biggest man-whore in school.
“It was inevitable that they got at one another sooner or later,” Mal continued, taking a sip of his beer. “But at least they waited until the wedding was official.”
He was still talking about our parents still but I was struggling to maintain the heat rising in my face. I didn’t want him to see my face turning crimson but it was becoming difficult to hide.
I still didn’t say anything and followed his lead, pressing the straw to my lips and sucking back the drink easily.
I couldn’t even taste the vodka.
“Are you still standing here?” Beth demanded from the top landing. “What’s wrong?”
I had completely zoned out, staring after nothing and Beth had apparently already gone to and returned from the bathroom.
“Yeah…I just thought I saw someone I knew,” I muttered, striding up the steps to meet her.
It was just a stupid, drunken kiss six months ago. What do you want to bet that Mal doesn’t even remember it?
Ugh. I needed to stop. I couldn’t believe it had happened at all but as I overanalyzed it like I did everything, I knew that it had only occurred as a way for both of us to outlet our frustration. Mal certainly had no interest in me romantically and it didn’t matter how attracti
ve I found him, there was no way I would ever entertain dating someone like Malcolm Laurier.
Or maybe I had just told myself that knowing that there was no way he would entertain dating someone like me.
He’d be no different than Chance Edwards, trying to pop my cherry. I can only imagine what that locker room conversation would sound like.
I cringed at the memory. I had been uninhibited enough in that coatroom at the wedding to have let it gone further than it did, a combination of the alcohol and the hate bond we shared overwhelming my common sense. Had I just gone there with Mal to stick it to my family in some childish way, half-hoping to get caught and cause another scene? That would be a play right out of my mom’s playbook, after all.
If the coat check guy hadn’t come back when he did, I would have been regretting a lot more those days than I already did.
But it did explain why I kept thinking I saw Mal everywhere after the wedding, even in California.
Ironically, I didn’t see him once in Sterling when I went home over the holidays, not even in my mind. I’d thought the hallucinations were done. I guess I was wrong.
We made our way into the auditorium which was already filled with students, ready to sleep though Peterson’s lecture and found seats near the center of the room.
“Okay people,” Prof Peterson intoned from the podium. “Settle down.”
“He’s wasting his talents teaching oceanography. He should be a hypnotist,” Beth muttered and several of the students around us tittered at her comment. It was a good observation. I could already feel my lids getting heavy and the man hadn’t even started speaking.
“Probably more money in it,” someone nearby added and we chuckled again. The students were all getting into mocking the unsuspecting prof.
“He’s a walking cadaver. I swear he’s a vampire.”
“More like the Grim Reaper. I can feel my soul being sucked right out of me as we sit here.”
My blood ran cold. I recognized that last voice and my head whipped around to stare into the smoky grey eyes of Malcolm Laurier who sat two rows back, encircled in a flock of admirers as always.