Throttled (Dirty Air Series Book 1)

by Lauren Asher

  I’m thankful for the table in front of me because I don’t need that problem on camera today.

  Since press conferences can be boring as fuck, I run through my plan for tonight. I can’t skip out on the Singapore after-party Maya mentioned. She glances at me, making my lips tip up into a naughty smile, the first one I’ve given her in a while.

  Her eyes widen.

  If only she knew what was coming. I’m done playing games; I’m getting my checkered flag.

  I pull out the big guns for this. And by big guns, I mean Sophie because she’s the equivalent of a grenade launcher and semi-automatic rifle combined. Without her on my side, the plan is hopeless.

  I text her after the press conference to please meet me in my hotel room. She grumbles about it until I text her with praying hands and a promise for chocolate-chip cookies. Girl hasn’t changed in all the years I’ve known her.

  “What do you want, Slade?” Her icy glare could make a normal man cry, but instead, I grin. How formal of her to use my last name.

  I make myself comfortable on the couch since Sophie refuses to sit. She stands in a power pose, ready to take me on, hands on her hips. An intimidation stance that barely reaches past my head.

  “I’m coming to you for help because I really need it. And trust me, I do.”

  Sophie blows a bubble with her gum before popping it, the sound breaking the tension in the room. She looks like a Barbie version of a mob boss.

  “How can I help you? I don’t even know what you want.” She likes to play dumb, batting her eyelashes at me.

  “I think you do.” Let’s cut the bullshit.

  “I want to hear you say it. The first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one in the first place.”

  Yup. This is why Liam can’t help being around her. She gives him a run for his money, all sassy and shit.

  I suppress a groan and tug at my hair. “I like Maya.”

  Her blank gaze gives nothing away. She blinks a couple of times, waiting for me to continue.

  “And I messed up. I thought I knew what I wanted. But in reality, I didn’t.”

  “Tell me more.” She sits down, her pose looking like my therapist.

  “I took her out on a date. I’m sure you’re aware of that.” She nods. “And it didn’t exactly end well. I told her I could only offer physical stuff. No attachments or frills, and she wanted more.”

  “No duh. And what do you want now?” Her gaze reminds me of her dad, staring into me like she can sense my sincerity.

  I look away from her intense scrutiny. “I think I want more.”

  “I don’t think you should do anything unless you know you want more. Maya’s the sweetest. She doesn’t need someone who isn’t willing to go all the way. Like make sacrifices for her.”

  My fists tighten in front of me. “I can try. I never even wanted this before. But seeing her all the time, from far away, I feel terrible. I struggle to not go up and talk to her, or even kiss her. I want a chance. But I need your help.” I glance at Sophie.

  She looks at me with a genuine smile and warm eyes, the opposite of how she was when the conversation began. “Share with me what you have planned. I’ll see what I can do on my end.”

  I’m nervous because I don’t know if Sophie will hold up her end of the deal. Hell, she concocted half of the plan after she deemed my original one unfit. Once I told her I seriously wanted to date Maya, Sophie became a lot more willing to help, coming up with a few ideas she thinks Maya would like. She nixed my original plan to show up at the Prix after-party, telling me Maya doesn’t function well past 12 a.m. Lucky for me, Singapore Prix weekend includes events until the following Monday because they love to party over here.

  I sit at an empty table at an exclusive restaurant. Sophie secured a private room that will force Maya to give me her undivided attention for at least an hour, but I hope for more if I buy a good bottle of wine. Because who can resist that? My fingers tap against the table, a nervous tick I picked up from the fidgeter herself.

  Finally, after what feels like forever, someone knocks on the door.

  “Okay, you guys. This is the strangest dinner plan ever—” Her voice cuts off when her eyes land on me sitting alone.

  Her eyes widen while her mouth drops open. She’s dressed up in a sexy black cocktail dress with her dark hair flowing around her face in waves, adding to her gorgeousness. I take a deep breath to settle my own nerves.

  I stand and walk up to her slowly to prevent her from fleeing.

  “What’s going on?” Her eyes dart around the room, taking in the two seats, before they land on me.

  “Let me explain over dinner.” My hand clutches hers as I walk her toward the chair across from mine, hoping she decides to stay. I pull out her seat and usher her into it. A compliant Maya may be my favorite version of her.

  “I’m confused. I’m guessing Sophie is in on this plan?” She lets out an adorable soft curse under her breath.

  “Correct. Let’s order a drink first because we both can use one.”

  We get situated and order our food right away at Maya’s persistence. I take her biting on her lip as a guilty yes that she wants to leave as soon as possible.

  I sigh before speaking. “I had two months to get you out of my system. And trust me, I tried.”

  She flinches at my words.

  Fuck, come on. I suck at expressing myself. “Not like that. I mean, I had to sit with my own decisions.”

  She relaxes in her chair. I take another deep breath, calming my nerves. Think before you speak.

  “I thought it would get easier with time. But you avoided me, which sucked. I went from seeing you every day, and talking to you and spending time together, to nothing.”

  “I wasn’t trying to ignore you.” Her eyes flick across the room.

  I give her a pointed look.

  “Okay, fine. I was trying to a teensy bit. I told you what I wanted, and you rejected me. I can’t expect you to change any more than I expect myself to. It’s not fair to either one of us.”

  “Well, I have changed, and I want to try to give you what you want. Spending all that time alone, I realized I want what you want. To spend time with you before and after races, like going on dates, hanging out at events, being lazy in bed together after mind-blowing sex. Give me all the strings attached.” The thought of rejection makes my stomach drop.

  Her eyebrows dart up. “How do I know you won’t back out the moment you get scared?”

  I don’t blame her for being skeptical when I haven’t exactly proven myself yet. “You don’t. And I don’t either. But it’s what I can give you for now. The real question is are you willing to take it?”

  She can back out at any moment. I can tell she thinks hard about it by the way she works her bottom lip between her teeth.

  She looks down at her hands. “I guess we can give it a try. What changed your mind?” Something warm spreads through my chest, eating away at the uncertainty and nervousness from before. Her agreement is all I need.

  I lift her chin up, craving eye contact. “I mean it when I say I spent a lot of time alone. I reflected on what was stopping me from trying this out with you. Our chemistry is—” her lips capture my attention—“explosive. But I also know there’s more. I like being around you, especially when you give me all your attention. I like when you film me without asking because you’re afraid of me saying no, even though you can get me to agree to anything. I love the way you laugh almost as much as the way you find your shoes interesting when you get nervous. I really like the special noises you save just for me when I kiss you, or the smiles you give me when no one is looking. I’m serious about trying it all with you. No holding back. I even met with someone to talk about my own issues and reservations, because when I do something, I go all in.” Clearly came down with a severe case of word vomit.

  She looks as surprised as I feel about revealing my secret. And fuck, vulnerability scares me, but I can trust Maya. I need to t
rust her. For once in my life, I don’t view leaning on someone else as a negative.

  “I’m proud of you. That’s a huge step.” She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. A buzz similar to sticking my finger in an electrical socket courses up my arm.

  I nod, not wanting to break the moment by hashing out my parental issues. “I’ve missed being around you.”

  “I have too. It’s not the easiest thing—avoiding you when all my fans are dying to hear and see more of you.” She shoots me a wink. “I had to fill the time with other interviews.”

  My breath hitches at the easygoing smile on her face, finally getting the grin I’ve waited weeks for. She fills me with hope. It’s a new feeling, wanting someone to believe in me while desiring to prove myself worthy of her.

  “We should give the subscribers what they want. I watch your videos.” My cheeks heat up at my admission. I chug wine before I continue, needing extra help tonight. “I may be partial, but I think I’m better clickbait than Jax or Liam.”

  Her giggle fills the room. It’s the best thing I’ve heard all week, even better than winning second place.

  And it hits me.

  Shit.

  25

  Maya

  We are doing this. Noah and me.

  I never imagined he would come around. Days turned into weeks since the Baku disaster, and he didn’t make a move, except for the time in Italy.

  Noah hires a car to take us to a party, the lights of the city passing us by. Noah grips my hand on his lap, occasionally giving it a squeeze, checking that I’m still here.

  “I don’t want my brother to know. At least not yet.” I look at him head-on, no shoes stealing my attention this time.

  The temperature in the car drops a couple degrees. It may sound dramatic, but I swear it happens.

  “Why?” His edgy voice makes me frown.

  My eyes plead with his. “It’s new. I don’t want to distract him from the Championship since you’re both teammates and he won’t like it. He tends to be overprotective of me.”

  Noah doesn’t talk for a full minute. I shift in my seat, waiting for him to say anything. His frown makes me wish I could take back my words.

  “I’m not happy about it because I don’t want to treat you like a dirty secret. I’m happy to be with you…but if that’s what you want, I’ll respect it.” He shrugs.

  “If it works out, I’ll tell him after the Championship, once everything is finalized for him.”

  His blue eyes stay pinned to mine. “It’s going to work out, so we’ll tell him when you’re ready.” His clipped voice has a finality to it.

  “Thank you.” I move close to him and wrap my arms around his waist, a new gesture that feels right. He gives the top of my head a quick kiss before he returns my hug.

  “Now, time for kissing and making up. I hear that’s the best part.” He mumbles the words into my hair.

  My laugh makes his own chest rumble.

  I can now confidently say kissing and making up might be my favorite part too.

  I’ve watched extravagant weddings on television, even a few crazy sweet sixteen parties where a kid cries over getting the wrong colored convertible. All those parties one-up each other with new levels of craziness. If I combined every single overdone party known to man, that would sum up what Noah and I walk into for the Singapore celebration. Do all local events look like this—filled with indulgence, celebrities, and glam bordering on obscene? It’s a party Gatsby would envy. But I love every second of it, soaking up the activities, including a side stage where people perform.

  People say this is one of the best parties of the entire Championship. None of the galas so far hold a candle to it. We stand on the rooftop of the most famous building in the city overlooking the whole island, the supertrees glowing while buildings around us light up.

  “Amazing, isn’t it? Plus, now I have a date, which makes it ten times better.” Noah’s hand grips my waist. His sexy smirk makes my heart pick up and my thighs clench. I sigh at the grin he saves especially for me. He wears a navy-blue tux today with black lapels and a crisp white shirt. I love the look on him, especially when my eyes gaze upon the bow tie. He looks dreamy.

  He gives me a peck on the lips. My body stills as I search around nervously for my brother.

  “I’ll keep an eye out for him. Don’t worry.” His gruff voice vibrates against my chest. Lying to my brother makes me sick with worry, making it difficult to fully enjoy attending the event with Noah.

  Darkness cloaks us, giving us the ability to disappear into large crowds of people, becoming one of the many partygoers. We grab drinks at the bar before we search for our friends.

  We find them soon after, Noah’s fingers tensing before he removes them from my waist. The loss of contact makes me frown. But it’s a necessary precaution at the moment, at least for the next two months until the World Championship is over.

  We pull up to the table Jax and Liam reserved, bottles of alcohol set up in the center. Sophie sits next to them. I take up a spot next to her while Noah sits on the opposite side with the boys.

  “Did it work out between you two?” She yells over the music into my ear.

  I nod my head up and down in confirmation. “I’m surprised you helped pull that plan off. What happened to saying no to fuckable bodies?”

  She winks at me. I laugh because it looks way more like a twitch.

  “This time it was worth it. I have faith it’ll all work out. The magic dildo told me so.” Both of her dimples show.

  “Hey, I finally found you. Didn’t see you earlier.” My brother pulls me up for a hug. His words tug at my thin resolve, my lies building a wall around myself.

  I play off my discomfort. “You’ve been busy being a Champion and all. Must be such a hard life. Hopefully your hand hasn’t cramped from carrying the trophy around all day.”

  “If I have to do another interview I’ll scream. How do you guys ever get used to this?” He glances at the guys who send him a hello.

  “You don’t. Eventually press conferences become a running joke. Check some of ours out on YouTube.” Liam hands a shot glass to my brother before tipping his own back. He pours alcohol for the rest of us. Sophie and I knock ours back at the same time, my nose scrunching as the alcohol burns my throat.

  I try to pace myself throughout the night. A for effort. F for execution.

  I’m drunk by 12 a.m. Liam and Sophie dance around together. Both look smashed, Sophie stepping all over his toes with her sneakers, but he takes it like a man, chuckling at her drunken display. Pretty much everyone has let go and is having a good time except Noah. My brother left so I get the all-clear to scoot over to his side of the couch.

  “Why are you sober?” I try to pout my numb lips.

  “I think I’m going to cool it on the alcohol for a while.”

  Right. He and alcohol have a rough history.

  My heart thumps in my chest as he smiles down at me. “You have such a good smile. It’s not fair. I want to look that good.” My fingers touch his face, grazing the rough stubble beneath them, imagining how it would feel in other places.

  His chest shakes from laughing. “You look even better.” He brushes my hair out of my eyes like a gentleman. His lips brush up against my temple, pressing sweetly before leaving again.

  “Your kisses are the best. Like nothing I’ve ever had,” I whisper-shout.

  “Oh, tell me more.” He lures me in, wanting to hear my drunk confessions.

  I glance around to confirm Santi’s gone. All clear.

  “They turn me on. Like a lot.” Killing the sexy game, I think.

  But he snickers at me instead of answering.

  “What’s so funny? Why are you laughing at me? I’m busy flirting. Hello.” I push at his shoulder to make him stop.

  He shoots me a breathtaking smile. My arms cross over my chest, his eyes narrowing as he stares down at my cleavage. I return the favor by checking him out. His messy hair does it for me, a
long with the bow tie he already undid an hour ago. Sigh.

  I grin. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

  He throws his head back and lets out a roar of laughter. I like being funny.

  “Should I take that as a yes?” I clap my hands together.

  “Sure, Maya. Let’s go. Meet me outside in five minutes.” Noah gets up from the table and says his goodbyes to the group. He acts like an expert at this incognito stuff to the point that someone could think we’d planned it all before.

  I scroll through my phone, a hard job when all I want to do is get up and leave with Noah.

  I wait for a total of four minutes before making my grand exit. My brother mopes at my departure after I find him schmoozing with sponsors. His sulking looks vaguely like mine, and I don’t like how much I corrupt him.

  I check the town car’s license plate like Noah told me to. Numbers blur but it looks about right. My body falls into the bench seat dramatically, my dress swooshing around me as material flies everywhere.

  The ride back to the hotel is quick with our driver adjusting his rearview mirror in hopes of sneaking a peek at our heavy petting and toe-curling kisses in the back seat. Noah barks at him to cut it out and to keep his eyes on the road. The older man sputters out an apology, the sound of his mirror returning back to normal making me laugh. At least until Noah shuts me up with more kisses.

  I struggle to keep my eyes open by the time we pull into the hotel. Alcohol hits me all at once, my body giving up the battle to stay awake. We both get out of the car at the same time since the hotel looks empty.

  Noah practically carries me to the elevators. My feet are finding it difficult to keep up with his pace; they’re dragging behind me as he holds me up.

  I’m a giggling mess, but he joins me like a good sport.

  It’s all fun and games until he rejects my advances in his room.

  “What do you mean, no?” My vision clouds as I take in a blurry Noah, his tux jacket abandoned, and his bow tie lost somewhere in the car ride. He snickers when I stomp my foot for good measure.