Breathe

by Tania Trozzo

  He pulled away slightly and took a deep breath, “Finally.” He put his forehead to hers and waited a few moments for his racing heart to calm down. He said, “No more freeze out, no more ignoring each other and Clara?”

  She looked up a little dazed, “Yes?”

  He smiled, “No more walls Clara, you have to let me in.” He grasped her face in his hands, “Please, a little at a time, just let me in.”

  “Ok,” she whispered, putting her hands on top of his, “Ok.” she said again.

  He let out the breath he had been holding and nodded, “Good.” He gave her another soft lingering kiss and pulled her to him and held her for a few minutes until he grabbed her hand. Taking a deep breath, he said, “Let’s go. We have to go back, someone is going to look for us for sure and we can’t be late to 6th period.” Her cheeks were a bit flushed, she looked even more beautiful than usual and she was smiling. He would do anything to have her keep smiling. Anything. He was so ruined. He shook his head and grinned as they headed inside.

  27

  Clara

  As Gabe walked her to her locker, Clara couldn’t stop smiling. She kept trying to stop but her grin kept coming out. Gabe dropped her off at her locker holding her tightly and then pulled away, “If I don’t see you, I’ll text you before practice.”

  She responded, “I actually have a game tonight at Malstern prep.”

  “That’s right, I’ll text you beforehand, but I’ll probably see you there.” He pulled away, holding on to her hand as he did, winked and walked down the hall. Sonia was coming from that direction and stopped to talk to him a second before coming to a halt at Clara’s locker. Sonia arched her brow, with a huge question mark written all over her face.

  She got closer to Clara to not have others overhear their conversation, “Well? Is everything ok? Since he walked you to your locker I take it the ignoring is over?” Clara smiled and put her fingers over her lips. “Hello, Clara. Are you going to answer me?”

  Clara couldn’t stop the goofy grin. “Yes, all good.” Sonia looked at her expectantly, motioning with her hand to add some information. Clara could feel a flush at her cheeks. “It was good.”

  Sonia replied, “Yes, I got that since you keep repeating it.”

  Clara looked at her and said with wonder in her voice, “He...he kissed me.” Her eyes widened after she had said it.

  Sonia grinned, “Fucking finally. Took him long enough.” Sonia snorted and added when she noticed Clara’s look. “What? Oh come on, Clara. It was about time.” Clara shook her head and sighed. “You’re going to have that blissed out look all day, aren’t you?”

  Clara laughed. “What, no. I’ll be fine. It was just, it was perfect.”

  Sonia smiled and then grabbed her hand dragging her along. “Well, I would hope so. Come on, let’s go, your class is next to mine.”

  They went to the remainder of their classes and then she rushed to leave for her game. Surprisingly soccer season was almost over. They had only a few more games left, and they were important ones. She had to get her head out of the clouds and into the game tonight. As she walked into the locker room to get changed, quite a few girls smiled at her or said hello. Instead, Jamie looked at her and scowled as usual. Clara shook her head. They got ready for the game rather quickly and headed on the bus where the coach talked to them. Malstern Prep was not too far. As Clara was getting off the bus, Coach Rossi and Coach Lawson stopped her for a second.

  “Clara, we wanted to talk to you a minute.”

  Clara answered, “Ok.”

  Coach Lawson called Jamie over too and when she saw Clara, she rolled her eyes, “What’s up coach?” Clara could hear Jamie gritting her teeth from where she was but Clara met Jamie’s gaze head on.

  Coach Lawson was trying to hide a grin, “Coach Rossi, would you like to start?”

  “Sure, as you both know, we have lost to Malstern prep for the past 4 years. And they for sure don’t let us forget it. They’ve become what I guess you would call our rival or one of them. So, I need your head in the game tonight, 110%.”

  Coach Lawson then stepped in, “What Coach Rossi is trying to say is that we’ve noticed a bit of tension between you two, and while we don’t expect you to be best friends, we do expect both of you to work as a team and as partners for the common goal. When you are on that field, any tension, dislike, anything negative disappears. ALL OF IT.”

  “Can I count on the both of you to do that?” Coach Rossi asked them.

  Jamie took a deep breath and answered, “fine.”

  Coach Lawson looked at Jamie, “Are you sure, Jamie? Don’t just say it to say it, I expect more from you since you’re the Captain.”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “Clara, what about you?”

  Clara at a certain point had folded her arms over her chest and she had not stopped looking at Jamie, “I have no problem with that, Coach. But I think you both know that.”

  Coach Rossi nodded, “Good, then let’s show them what we’re made of. Let’s go.” Both coaches walked ahead of them as Jamie and Clara followed close behind.

  Clara did not know what came over her to ask, “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

  Jamie looked at her and smirked, “You’re asking me if I’m ready to play hard ball?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m asking,” Clara replied, “I’m asking if you are ready to start acting like the Captain you should be.” Then she walked away toward where some other girls from the team were warming up and got her head in the game as Coach wanted. She just hoped Jamie would be able to do the same.

  The game was intense, probably one of the most intense she had ever played. After being 0-0 for a while, Malstern Prep was able to score right before the end of the first half. The girls took their break refueling while both Coaches gave them pep talks.

  As she was walking out, Jamie approached her, “Fine. Let’s bring them down.”

  “Alright, then,” Clara responded, “well number 15 is strong.”

  Jamie responded quickly, “the girl with the red hair. Yeah, she keeps taunting me. Think you can handle number 21?”

  “Oh, I’ve got her. I’ve also noticed that the goalie is stiffer on her right side. She keeps trying to massage her thigh and stretch so if you’re going to shoot, do it there.”

  Jamie looked at her. “How do you notice all that?”

  Her answer was swift, “My cousin taught me. He plays soccer.” But that wasn’t true. It was Cain that taught her to notice these things about others. Jamie nodded.

  The team went back on the field and within 15 minutes Jamie had scored. After that though, it was tight. Both defensive sides were holding their own no matter how many shots were coming their way. At a certain point the other team had called a time out and, in that moment, Clara felt him. She looked around, and saw Gabe, standing right next to Sonia. He smiled and nodded when he realized she had noticed him. The time out had ended so she got ready to play. She looked at Coach Lawson, who was staring right at her. She pointed to Clara and to the goal, telling her the next one was hers. Clara nodded. She noticed that number 21 was winded and tired, Clara knew that if she had the ball, that’s where she needed to go. The clock kept ticking, defense was able to get the ball away from the other team towards their midfielder. Eva looked around as to where to pass the ball. She hesitated for a moment but then realized Clara was the best bet for a pass. Eva started to move slightly towards Clara, finally passing the ball to her. Clara took the ball, moving fast, dodged around number 21 and took the shot, kicking the ball towards the goal. The ball lifted off the ground, making Clara cringe, but the ball went right in the top right corner securing their lead. Moira, and a few of the other girls ran over to Clara and hugged her. She looked in the crowd where Sonia was yelling like a crazy woman and Gabe hooted and hollered along with her. The other team tried to sco
re another goal, however, East Cynwood held firm. When the whistle sounded declaring the end of the game, everyone started jumping up and down. Most of the girls ran over to Clara giving her a quick side hug.

  As she walked up to the coaches, Coach Lawson said, “that right there is what I was talking about. Incredible job, Clara!” She then turned to all the girls, “you all were fantastic, I’m so proud of you!”

  Coach Rossi was speaking to a few people off the side when he came over and everyone quieted down. “Girls, amazing job. Today you all played as a true team. Thank you. This win was 4 years in the making but it was a great game. Let’s head back home so you girls can celebrate!”

  As Clara passed him, he gently gripped her shoulder saying, “Clara, great job today. I was impressed. I knew you had it in you.” He proceeded to speak to a few of the other girls as they all continued walking. As they headed towards the bus there was a group of people from East Cynwood waiting for all of them. Clara instantly found Gabe’s heated gaze settled on her. Right next to him stood Sonia who looked over at Clara rolling her eyes. Clara had a puzzled look on her face until she looked to Gabe’s other side and there stood Sarah chatting away animatedly with him, or rather to him because he was looking directly at Clara. Gabe said something to Sarah who just gaped at him as he walked away and right over to her.

  Clara just stared at him but smiled as he got closer, “hey” Clara said.

  “Hey yourself. You were awesome out there,“ Gabe remarked, as he kissed her cheek and then hugged her. After holding her a moment, he kissed her behind her ear and she shuddered. He pulled away and smirked never letting go of her hand.

  Sonia came over and hugged her too and she couldn’t stop laughing. “I think Sara is frozen in place,” she whispered to Clara.

  Clara nonchalantly looked over and Sara was gaping at the three of them but as soon as she noticed Clara, her gaze hardened. “Yeah, well.” Just as she was thinking about what to say, Coach Rossi told them to get on the bus. Rules were rules and you were under their supervision until you got back to school.

  “We’ll follow the bus,” Gabe said.

  “Oh, I have my car,” Clara started saying.

  “And your point is?” Gabe grinned kissing her on the temple, “We’ll see you back at school.”

  She got on the bus sitting next to Moira who immediately complimented her and they started chatting with other girls adding to their conversation. As they arrived at school Clara realized that she had never really spoken to many of these girls. Clara never allowed herself to be accepted because she hadn’t accepted them. She obviously didn’t trust them like she did Gabe, Sonia and the others but it was nice and she was learning to be more open about it. As the team got off the bus, Gabe and Sonia were waiting for her.

  “Get in, I’ll give you a ride to your car, I have to bring Sonia to hers anyway.” Clara climbed in the back seat and noticed Gabe kept glancing at her in the rearview mirror as they were talking. They dropped off Sonia first and Clara moved up front and they both waited for Sonia to get in her car and pull out of her spot.

  As soon as Sonia had beeped indicating she was leaving, Clara turned towards Gabe stating, “I’m parked by…” Gabe moved over the console and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss, his eyes open as though gauging her reaction. Clara’s cheeks instantly flushed. Gabe smiled and pecked her on the lips, then on the cheek and grabbed her hand.

  He cleared his throat, “You were saying, you’re parked, where?”

  She also cleared her throat, “Um, I’m not far. Right over there, by the bike rack.”

  Gabe shook his head, “I was hoping you were parked farther away. 30 seconds quality time isn’t enough.” As he drove he turned his gaze a second to look at her, “you were fierce on that field today. Everyone was amazed by you. Especially me.”

  As the car stopped Clara responded picking at some imaginary lint on her shorts, “It really wasn’t a big deal.”

  He squeezed her hand saying softly, “Hey, look at me.” She did. ”Don’t downplay what you did. You scored that second goal and secured the win. Everyone probably contributed and did great too.”

  Clara sighed, “Um, weren’t you there for some of the game?”

  “Yeah, I was but I didn’t notice them because I was only looking at you.” Clara could feel herself blushing and became shy all of sudden. What was she supposed to say to that? Gabe decided to cut her some slack. “Are you going to karate tonight?”

  Clara answered, “No, not tonight. I have a test tomorrow so between that and the game I’ve decided not to go.”

  “Ok, can I call you later?” Gabe asked her. She nodded. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, I’d like that,” she admitted. The stayed there a moment and stared at each other. “Ok,” Clara said softly.

  “Ok, then,” responded Gabe. They burst out laughing. Shaking his head Gabe said, “Let me walk you to your car. This was definitely not enough time.” He got out of the car while she grabbed her stuff and opened the door. He helped her down from the SUV. They took those few steps to her car and she opened the door throwing in her bags. His hands were in his pockets but he took them out and he pulled her in his arms.

  “I probably smell,” Clara said trying to have some distance between her and Gabe.

  “You don’t, but even if you did, I wouldn’t care,” Gabe replied.

  So she circled her arms around him too. She felt so safe and it felt so good to be in his arms. Gabe loosened his hold and peered down at her.

  “Thanks for coming to my game,” Clara told him.

  “I wouldn’t have missed it.” He leaned down and kissed her again. “I’ll call you later, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  28

  Gabe

  Several days had gone by. Each day started with Gabe waiting for Clara either in the parking lot or by her locker. Although he typically had never been overly affectionate he found that with Clara he couldn’t not touch her. They didn’t make out in public, but he did hold her hand whenever possible, and when he said hello or goodbye he made sure to hug her or kiss her on the cheek or sometimes even behind the ear. When it was just them with Alex and the others, then he would even kiss her. Every time he would be somewhat affectionate she would blush or try to contain her smile and he felt like a caveman wanting to pound his chest when she did.

  The more days passed the more he was hooked. He liked that she wasn’t pretentious or demanding, yet at the same time, if he even tried to get bossy with her, fire lit her eyes and she dished it right back. They both had busy schedules during the week, but they were able to hang out a bit during the weekend with the others at Sonia and Alex’s house. Gabe didn’t leave Clara’s side the entire night and he felt that she wasn’t inclined to do so either. What was interesting was the fact that no one seemed surprised by them, it was if they had always been that way.

  The week had restarted and both of them had a few tests or projects and with soccer dying down for the both of them, the last few games were extremely important for their season standings, so practices were intense and left them both exhausted. He had texted Clara last night saying he would pick her up and bring her to school today. He wanted some extra time with her. He intended to spend some time with her this afternoon or tonight hoping she would agree. They had both finished practice about 15 minutes ago and he was waiting for her in the parking lot. As a bunch of girls stepped out of the door and spotted Gabe, they looked behind them and were talking and giggling. Moira was beside Clara shaking her head and gave Clara a pat on the back. Even Eva, who wasn’t extremely nice, looked at the girls in front of them and shook her head. Clara spotted him and waved to both Moira and Eva, while walking towards his car. She got in and pulled the door shut. She was tense. He could tell something was wrong.

  “Hey, you ok?” he asked her.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  �
��Are you not going to tell me what that was about?” Gabe asked Clara. They had probably something to say about Clara. He could tell something bothered her, but she was trying to either hide it or be strong about it.

  “Nothing important. Just the same crap.” She replied. He smiled, she wasn’t getting away that easy.

  “Then why aren’t you looking at me?” She swung her head and looked at him. “Tell me.”

  She blew out a breath. “They were just being snarky, as usual, making sure I heard them.”

  “Heard them say what?” Gabe asked her with a little bit of bite.

  Her gaze grew a bit heated. “You do not give up easily do you?” She hesitated for a nanosecond and then said, “They said you have a hero complex. You like to help people, save them. And that is why you hang out with me. After what happened to me, you feel sorry for me.” She looked down, picking at some imaginary lint on her pants.

  “Don’t look down, look at me,” Gabe laughed. “I feel like I’m always trying to get you to look at me.” She had by then lifted her head to gaze at him. “And, you believe that?” Gabe asked her.

  She replied, “No. Yes. I mean.” She took a deep breath. “Maybe a little I do, it makes sense. You could have anyone, you could literally snap your fingers in the cafeteria and a line would form. Seniors included.” She snorted. “I’m no one and I have baggage. Being my friend is exhausting, and we’re whatever…. As I said, it makes sense.” He waited because he could tell she wasn’t finished, pulling into the nearest parking lot and he pulled into a spot. He turned his body towards her.