by Tania Trozzo
“You what?” Gabe told her while caressing her jaw.
“But after all that happened I also feel safe. Even though I feel so angry for what they did, I know that now I’m not hopeless or alone and that’s thanks to all of you. Sonia. Alex. Leo. Connor. And you. Especially you.”
Gabe cupped her face with his hands and he smiled a small smile. “It’s because you’re not hopeless and you’re not alone. You think that you weren’t strong enough but I know that’s not true. You amaze me again and again. We are all here for you. Especially me.” They looked at each other and he was just about to lean in and kiss her when his phone started buzzing. Gabe shook his head and peered behind his shoulder at the phone, looking like he was deciding to ignore it or not. He turned back to Clara, and then someone started knocking on the door. He shook his head and groaned. “Worst timing.” He smiled and turned toward the door asking quite loudly, “what do you want?”
“It’s Sonia. It’s like 8.30 and I wanted to check on her. You aren’t answering your phone.”
Gabe looked at Clara and groaned. “We’re coming.” He smiled and moved to get up but she stopped him. She looked at him, cupped his right cheek and kissed the corner of his lips. She felt him shudder. He leaned his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. “Now that she knows we’re awake, she won’t stop. We should answer the door because if I don’t do it now then we won’t be answering it for a while.”
Clara grinned. “I know.” Clara spoke up and responded to Sonia, “I’m alive and well Sonia, just give me a minute.”
Clara told him she needed to go to the bathroom, but when they both got up from the bed, Gabe pulled her back into his arms, “Holding you in my bed last night was amazing. I know maybe I shouldn’t say that considering why you were there, but it was.” He held her another second, nuzzling her neck and inhaling her, “And you smell really good too.”
Clara blushed instantly. She did say that didn’t she? Gabe pulled away and chuckled as he went to unlock the door while Clara went to the bathroom. It was a bit muffled, but Clara could hear her say, “Is she ok? I am so mad Gabe and so worried about her.” Clara smiled as Sonia continued to half whisper to Gabe by the door. She couldn’t hear all of what was being said but as she approached them she heard Sonia say, “No one messes with my friends and she’s probably the best one I’ve got.”
Neither had heard Clara come up behind them but she pulled the door open wide and looked at Sonia. “You’re my bestie too.” Sonia flung her arms around Clara asking a bunch of questions. Clara held on to her but turned her head to look at Gabe a bit amused.
Gabe shook his head, “Both of you go down, I’ll be down in a minute to make us all breakfast. Let me text Connor and Leo to come over too.” Sonia pulled herself from Clara. “Connor is already here. Since your dad wasn’t here we invited Connor to stay and texted Leo so he is on his way. I hope that’s ok. And Alex already started breakfast. How do you think I was able to sneak up here?” Sonia smiled as she started her way down the hall. “Come on Clara, you have to eat.”
“I’ll be down in a minute. Go.” He grabbed Clara one last time and gave her a kiss on the forehead and then one behind her ear. Clara shuddered, clinging to him a second longer. As she pulled away, she met Gabe’s smoldering gaze, surprising him by giving him a hard kiss on the lips. His eyes darkened. She reluctantly pulled away and as she walked down the hall following Sonia she was thankful that this boy was hers.
36
Gabe
They had finished breakfast and the girls had gone upstairs to find something to wear for Clara. All Gabe could think about was that Clara was taking a shower. In his bathroom. Thinking of her in his bedroom and much less taking a shower, made it a bit difficult for him to concentrate. He sat at the counter with Alex, Connor and Leo knowing they had to start talking. They hadn’t really discussed anything during breakfast and the guys had to think about a plan. He also needed to approach the subject with Leo. Gabe understood that it hit him close to home but if push came to shove, he needed to know what side Leo was on.
“So, what’s the plan?” asked Connor.
They all looked at Gabe waiting for an answer. “We wait.” Connor and Leo looked surprised. Alex didn’t. “We’re on break. I want to enjoy it with Clara. They aren’t going anywhere and making them wait will drive them a bit crazy. It also gives us time to think of a plan.”
“I agree,” Alex added.
“Ok. We also have to figure out who the driver was. Even though he didn’t know the plan, the truth of the matter is that he could have called one of us, and he didn’t.” It was Connor that spoke now, and he shook his head, “I just, I still can’t get over all of this. What were these three fuckers thinking?”
Gabe hesitated a second and then looked at Leo. “I know this is hard for you since Bruno is involved. But if anyone is going to pay the most, it’s him. Not only did he hurt her, but he was planning on doing even more, and I won’t let him get away with that. I need to know that you’re on board whatever happens.”
Leo exhaled. “He crossed a line. If that was Claudia or one of my sisters I…I don’t know what I would have done.” He stopped speaking a second. “Sorry if I left last night but I needed to think, and I had to speak to my mom. I didn’t mention anything specific, but I did tell her that Bruno had changed and that he hurt one of my friends. She was actually afraid to talk to me about it, thinking that I would get defensive and push her away.” Leo lifted his gaze and stared at Gabe, “So, I’m in. What he did. What he might have done to Clara, that is not ok.” Gabe nodded and Alex grabbed Leo’s shoulder in reassurance.
“Do we get the school involved or the police?” Connor asked them.
“I was thinking about getting the school involved but Jamie and Sarah would say it was a prank and they were never going to hurt her. Plus, we all know Sarah’s dad and he would get her out of anything, which means that Jamie would get out of it too. In regards to Bruno – that’s not the way you deal with someone like him.” Gabe answered.
“What about the girls? Do we involve them?” Alex asked.
“No.” They all turned surprisingly to look at Connor who had answered. His gaze was hard. Leo looked amused. Gabe tilted his head in question.
“Yes, you do.” Gabe inhaled. It was Clara. He turned around on the stool. His nostrils flared. He was totally turned on. There she was in leggings and one of his long sleeve cotton shirts. Her shoulders were rolled back, she lifted her chin. Her arms were folded over her chest. Her green eyes flaring. She was pissed off and she was gorgeous. Sonia stood behind her, with her arms crossed as well, smirking.
“If you think the both of us are just going to sit there looking pretty, well, you obviously don’t know Clara or myself very well.” Sonia stated.
Gabe wanted to put her over his shoulder and carry her back upstairs but instead he held out his hand, inviting Clara to take it and join them. She raised her eyebrow questioning him. He grinned and shook his head. “Just come here and we’ll talk.” She hesitated. “Please, Clara?” Her stance softened and her shoulders dropped. She walked over to him and gave him her hand. He pulled her in his lap but before speaking, he put his hand at the nape of her neck, turning her face to look at him. Gabe stared at her a few moments, trying to read her. He then sighed, giving her a peck on the forehead and held her close. Turning to the others he said, “Let’s start with Jamie. She has to realize that Clara knows it was her even if she sent that message.” Clara had found a message on her phone from Jamie, telling her she couldn’t make it to their meeting. It was sent sometime when they were in the car before Clara had come to.
Clara nodded, “She may not be 100% sure that I figured it out but she’s pretty sure.”
“Pretty sure she is pissing in her pants right now,” Sonia huffed.
“Plus, what about Kristin? Won’t she tell Sarah and Jamie that we know t
hey are involved?” Connor questioned.
“No, Kristin won’t say anything,” Gabe replied.
“Are you sure?” Alex asked him. They all looked at Gabe, even Clara had turned her head to look at him.
“Yeah, I’m sure. She’s not stupid.” Gabe answered.
Clara turned back around and took a deep breath. “Well, I want to confront her on my own. I know she was hesitating and I don’t think she meant it to get that far. It doesn’t change what happened, but I can get her to admit it.” Alex was ready to open his mouth when this determined look came over her and she stated, “I’ll confront her and I’ll get her to admit it.”
“What about recording it? Then make the rest of the team and Coach Rossi and Coach Lawson hear it.” Sonia offered.
“There’s my little sis adding the touch.” Alex chuckled.
“Yeah, they need to know. Team captains should defend the team at all costs. She didn’t.” Clara stated. Clara seemed to be getting upset so Gabe ran his hand down her back in a soothing gesture until she leaned her head on his shoulder.
They all nodded their agreement but Gabe hesitated a bit, “Honestly it makes me a bit uneasy because we can’t be there physically for that. What if she tries to hurt you?” Gabe asked.
“I don’t think she will because I want to do it at school, preferably somewhere like the locker room, but if she does, I can take her. I know who I’m up against, it’s not like I have a pillow case over my head.” She shuddered, and Gabe held her tighter whispering reassurances in her ear.
They continued to discuss their plan. Jamie was simple, once the coaches found out what she had done, all of them were sure that she wouldn’t be team captain any longer. If the coaches decided not to do anything, then they would cross that bridge when they got to it. Sarah was a bit more difficult, since she hid behind her family’s money and power. Not only did they have it, they weren’t afraid to use it. So it had to be something unconventional and humiliating. Sonia was the mastermind behind ensuring Sarah would be put in her place. As for Bruno, the boys were going to take care of him. He still had no idea that any of them had figured out his involvement. Leo was pretty sure that knowing him, he was probably gloating. Everything would wait until they went back to school after break. In the meantime, they were going to enjoy the holidays and their ski trip.
Once they had finished talking, Leo headed home and Alex, Sonia and Connor decided to go finish Christmas shopping and would be back in about an hour or so when they would drop Clara off. Gabe had just gone to lock the front door and when he came back, Clara was outside on the patio. She just stood there, the wind blowing her hair lightly as she looked out to the pool and the backyard. He took a deep breath and headed out to follow her. He could only imagine what was going on in her head.
“Hey,” he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, “it’s cold out here.”
“I know,” Clara responded and she leaned back into Gabe. After a few moments she told him, “I love spring and summer. The flowers, the colors, the warmer weather. It used to give me hope. But there’s something about the winter. The cold, it makes you feel alive.” She stopped for a second but then took a deep breath and began, “For some reason I can’t stop thinking about this one time when Paul had locked me in the shed. It was so cold that night.” Clara paused again. Gabe was afraid to move, heck, he was afraid to breathe. If she was speaking now without his prompting, then she must be overwhelmed with whatever she was feeling. He didn’t want her to realize that she was openly sharing for fear that she would withdraw. Thankfully, she started talking again, “I can’t even remember what happened that day to make him put me there. Tracey wasn’t home. He had sent her somewhere. I remember that for a split second, I saw Cain about to open his mouth. It was so quick I was sure I imagined it. Or maybe I was hopeful but he just nodded and didn’t say a word as usual. Paul all of a sudden slapped me so hard and then dragged me to the shed in the backyard. He literally threw me in there. It wasn’t really big and it was always crammed with stuff. It was freaking cold and I just kept telling myself that at least I was feeling something because I was alive.”
“How long did he keep you in there?” Gabe asked hoarsely.
“Almost all night.” Gabe stiffened and held his breath. “It wasn’t that bad, I guess. It was cold but that wasn’t the first time he had locked me in there, so Tracey had hid a sweater and a jacket for me. But it was the first time that he left me there that long. Shortly after, I heard a bunch of cars arrive and lots of noise. Paul was having a party so being in that shed was probably the better option. Eventually I fell asleep and I found a blanket on me. When Paul passed out from drinking, Tracey was able to sneak me inside. It wasn’t until 4 or 5 in the morning and when she opened that door, it seemed as though she was frantic. She kept saying, “oh my God, oh my God,” over and over. She kept rambling that she couldn’t find me.”
“Could it have been Cain to put the blanket on you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so, he was always mean to me. He barely spoke to me unless it was to order me to do something. So making sure I was warm was never a priority. Hell, if anything he always acted as though I was a nuisance. I usually didn’t fight back or say much because it would have been worse if I did. So that night as usual I did nothing. Today I keep thinking about the fact that back then I chose not to do anything for specific reasons but yesterday, I just feel like I could have done more.”
Gabe opened his mouth to object but just in that instant, she turned around, placed her finger on his lips and said, “I know what you’re going to say, that I did fight back, that I screamed, yada, yada, yada, but I can’t stop feeling that I could have handled it better.”
Gabe looked at her intensely and kissed her finger. “Can I talk now?”
“Yes, sorry.”
“First of all,” grinning as he pulled her closer, “I would not have said, yada, yada, yada.” Clara chuckled and shook her head. “Second, it’s normal that yesterday brought back some memories for you and I’m honored that you shared them with me.” He exhaled, “Third, did you not throw in an elbow and a few kicks or were you talking about someone else? You were ready to panic but you didn’t, you were able to resist. For me, that means that you were strong. You also were able to figure out it was Jamie, which tells me that you are smart. We talked about making them pay, which shows me you’re fierce and not scared. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Clara nodded, “I’m just so angry.”
“And you have every right to be. But don’t take it out on yourself, let’s take it out on them.”
“Just, what did I do so horribly that warranted them to do that to me?” she said angrily.
“You did nothing wrong, Clara. That’s on them. Some people can’t handle when someone like you comes in and disrupts whatever plan they had in mind. But don’t let them stop you.”
“Ok.” She whispered softly. He pulled her closer, so close their lips were almost touching.
“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” he confessed to her. Her eyes widened slightly. “And I know you said the cold makes you feel alive but there are other things that can make you feel that way.”
“Yeah?” Clara asked him and he nodded and smirked. “Gabe?”
“Yeah?”
“If it involves kissing, can we please do it inside? I’m freezing and I can’t feel my face.”
He laughed, “Hell yes. I know just the way to warm you up before everyone comes back.”
37
Clara
Clara looked at her alarm clock and sighed. It was only 5 am and she had been tossing and turning for a while now. It had been like this the past few days. She’d had a few nightmares and couldn’t get back to sleep. Break was over and today was the first day back to school. She dreaded today. She looked over on her night
stand to where her journal was. She smiled. Gabe had given it to her along with a few other things for Christmas. She opened the beautiful cover and her hand caressed the page with his inscription.
Clara,
Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” Use this journal to write whatever and whenever you want. I hope one day you can share it with me…. and the world. - Gabe
Without realizing it, he managed to slowly chip away at her resistance. If she hadn’t noticed that she did the same thing to him, she would probably be terrified. In some ways it did scare her. The holiday break had been amazing. She had always loved the holidays and spending time with her family. This year she got to spend it with Gabe and her friends. She had her difficult moments especially the past few days, and Gabe was right there with her the entire time. Clara was still worried that Gabe would get tired of all of this. Not only did she have baggage but he was used to girls throwing themselves at him and being more open sexually. Clara was extremely nervous and although she wasn’t a prude, she definitely wasn’t ready to take that step.
She began writing her nervous feelings for that day. After a few minutes, she was done but she figured she might as well get up. She sighed, it was going to be a long week. The next several days, were intense; a karate tournament was coming up, the next newspaper was set to come out, indoor soccer practice a few times a week, and of course, dealing with Jamie, Sarah and Bruno. She typically tried to keep herself so busy so she would fall into a dead sleep. Hopefully that would be the case this week too.