by LJ Swallow
Is my future decided too?
Chapter Five
JAMIE
Maeve sits on the cottage floor, knees pulled against her chest and a brown blanket from one of the beds upstairs wrapped around her. She hasn’t stopped trembling since I persuaded her in here and she’s barely spoken a word, not responding with anything but a shake of the head when I ask if she needs anything.
I grasp at things I could do for her. Is Maeve cold? The recent sunny days have been replaced with clouds and darkness and the cottage is cool. I could light a fire in the fireplace; that might help her.
I’m useless to help in any other way.
I watch the flames grow as I kindle the fire, a reminder of the time Maeve and I triggered one of her visions here. My heart aches in a way I never thought possible because once I got over my disbelief, a sickness deep inside began to grow.
This isn't only a secret about, and kept from, Maeve; somebody kept Tobias's identity a secret too. The Confederacy allowed him to live. Does Theodora know?
The Winterfall family were distinctive-looking, but Maeve isn't the only blonde witch with eyes the colour of a summer sky. Like all the original families, they inter-married and some children had their hair and eye colour. Maeve looks like a Winterfall and shares the magic skills the family excelled in. Our individual magic potency comes from how close we are in blood to the original families—the purest witches hold magic in the purest form and there are few left.
But my hurt at the lies people told Maeve as a child is nothing compared to my fury at Tobias.
There's an edge to him I could never warm to, something hidden I suspected Maeve discovered. I could never entirely let go of his witch-killing past, and now I've discovered he represents an evil the world told me didn't exist anymore.
Even if I managed to get past this, how can Maeve work with Tobias now? How can we? Dragging one hand through my hair, I place a log from the wood scuttle onto the fire. Just as we were becoming stronger as a group, our unity is kicked to the ground and trampled beyond recognition.
Maybe we can face this without Tobias?
But in the pit of my stomach I know we need him to protect Maeve and that sickens me further.
What a fucking mess.
“Jamie.” Maeve’s weak voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I shuffle around to face her. “Can you get me some water?”
“Sure.”
Buoyed by the fact I can do something to help, I head into the kitchen and return with the water. She’s standing now and her eyes are puffy, cheeks pinched and red as she regards me. With a hopeful smile, I pass her the glass. She stares at the water for a moment and then sets the glass on the table.
“You’re the only one who takes me away from here,” she says with a small smile. “You knew what I needed and took me away from the academy that day.”
“I’m not taking you anywhere,” I say in alarm as she steps forward and pushes hair from my eyes. “We stay on the academy grounds, Maeve.”
“For now,” she says softly. “Not forever.” Her soft fingertips run along my cheek and they stop at my lips. “Remember that day, when we went to the movies and spent time doing ordinary things? You did more for me that day than you realise—I remembered the Maeve I used to be. The free one.”
Taking her fingers away, I kiss her palm. “Good. That’s what I intended.”
“Can you do that now?”
I tense. “I told you, I’m not taking you out of the academy, Maeve. Not today.”
“Because you think I’ll run away?” she says with a half-laugh and she rubs the back of her hand across my cheek.
Something in Maeve’s manner confuses me, until she moves a hand to the nape of my neck and strokes. “I don't want to leave.” Her lips are close to my mouth and I battle the flaring arousal, made worse when they press against mine. “Please help me forget everything, Jamie. If you won’t let me run away from my life, at least take me away from my thoughts.”
Pulse picking up, I rest my forehead on hers and smile. “If you mean you want me to kiss you, I'm happy to oblige.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“You’re confusing me,” I say and draw my head away.
Maeve wraps her fingers in my hair and pulls me back to her. “A kiss would help me forget, but you could really help me forget.”
Her breath strokes my mouth as she speaks and when she moves her face, there's a look in her eyes that burns through my resolve, as I catch what she means.
Oh, crap. She slides her hands beneath my T-shirt and tiptoes to kiss my neck.
“I’ll kiss you,” I repeat. “I’ll hold you. I’ll do whatever I can to take the pain away long enough for you to catch your breath and cope, but that's all. You’re distressed and not thinking straight.” Reinforcing my words, I move her hands from my waist.
“That’s the whole point. I don’t want to think straight.” Maeve presses herself against me, her curves beneath my hands, the scent from her hair the same as the day we kissed in the rain.
I’m beginning to not bloody think straight.
“Jamie. You said you’d kiss me,” she murmurs as she tugs her mouth away for a second.
Her breath is warm against my lips and I ache for her taste again as she tugs me to her by my shirt. I stumble as she pushes herself harder against me. Maeve tastes of the sweetness I’ve struggled to remember from the first time we kissed, and I cling to rationality by my fingernails.
How would the other guys react in this situation? One thing’s sure, they don’t have a witchbond curling around them; one that draws us into each other. Am I taking advantage if I stop resisting?
Yes. The girl is a mess.
“You’re not taking advantage. I want to lose myself and just not bloody think anymore.”
I don’t get to respond to Maeve’s mindreading, as her mouth crushes against mine, and I have never fought with myself more than in this moment. The girl I love and live for is kissing me with a passion that overwhelms me, and has her hands around my heart.
The need that’s built since the kiss in the rain explodes, and I take Maeve’s face in both hands and close my lips over hers, roughly pushing my tongue into her mouth. We share devouring kisses, pulled further into each other and away from the outside world. The kiss in the park was amazing, but nothing compared to this.
She pulls me by the shirt again and moves backwards until she’s on the sofa, my body covering hers. A few moments ago, I’d question what the hell I’m doing, but I’m losing the fight that I’ve had with myself for weeks.
Maeve’s fingers slide beneath my shirt. Her skin is soft but her touch firm as she pushes up my T-shirt and slides her hands along my back, holding me to her as she wraps her legs around mine. We’re tightly entwined and each time Maeve moves against me, the harder it is to hold back.
Her shirt slides upwards at the side as she moves her arms to my shoulders, and her skin brushes my stomach, sending a static shock through me. I skim fingers along her waist—how can anybody’s skin feel this soft?
Breaking the kiss, I rest my forehead against hers and our mingling breaths come in short pants.
“Don’t stop kissing me,” she whispers.
I prop myself up on my hands, either side of her head on the sofa arm. I’ve wanted nothing but this for weeks—to feel Maeve beneath me, her looking at me as if I’m everything she needs. Kissing. Touching. Everything.
“Think about what you’re doing,” I whisper and nudge her nose with mine.
“No. I want my brain switched off.”
Sighing, I stroke a strand of hair from her pink cheek. “I love you, Maeve, and I want to do this with you more than you could possibly imagine, but not like this.”
“You’re completely different to any other guy I’ve met,” she says breathlessly.
“Thank you,” I say with a half-smile.
Maeve groans and shifts against me, our bodies meeting with friction again. “You’re maddening
.”
“And distracting,” I remind her.
“Not distracting enough.” She links her fingers behind my neck and pulls my face to her. I shiver as she slowly draws her tongue across my lips.
She’s leading me, but not enough. “Okay. Tell me what you want me to do.”
Her lips part in surprise before she gives me a tiny smile. “And will you?”
Hell, yes. “Maybe.”
My phone chimes in my back pocket and jerks me away from the moment. Maeve pouts at me but I ignore the message sound and bend down to kiss Maeve slowly. By the third sound, Maeve reaches into my pocket and pulls out the phone. I expect her to throw it onto the floor—I was about to—but she slides her mouth from mine. Her face loses colour as she looks at the phone as she holds it behind my head.
Immediately she sits and throws her arms around my shoulders, clinging to me like I’m something keeping her afloat. When I feel her wet tears against my neck, I sit back and hold her to me with one arm. She still grips the phone and I loosen her fingers to take it away.
A message on screen explains everything.
Look after Maeve. Tobias.
Anger immediately hits, but not because he interrupted; I’m half-glad he did. But only half. How dare the bastard text me with instructions like a fucking professor? I’m here, picking up the pieces of Maeve strewn between here and his classroom, literally holding her together. Maeve’s distress pours into me and I hold her head, whispering soothing words.
My head is fucked too. I understand she wanted to let go of the pain in some way, but I’m not Andrei. Or Ash. We’ve no history. Would she look back and think ‘bloody Jamie taking the first chance he’s offered’?
Hell, Jamie, do you think one day you’ll stop overthinking every goddamn move you make in life?
Straightening Maeve’s shirt, I rest back against the sofa and hug her to me. She rests her head on my chest, against my pounding heart. We lie in silence and Maeve tries to hide, but she can’t hide the tears or how her back shakes.
“I should never have looked at the phone,” she mumbles against my dampening T-shirt.
“And I should’ve stopped—"
She moves and places her index finger over my lips and shakes her head; I rub a tear from her cheek with a thumb. “You’re funny. You hardly touched me.”
“I had plans,” I say, lips moving against her finger.
Her teary eyes shine in amusement. “You’ll never change, will you?”
“Do you mean you do or don’t want me to change?”
Maeve wriggles upwards and her movement instantly reminds me of those plans.
One day.
Maeve holds my face in both hands and kisses me with a gentleness that pulls at my heart. “Only a little. You have a brilliant mind, but you should let it rest sometimes and ‘do’ rather than think.”
“Okay, but I worry I’ll hurt you when you have enough to deal with, especially today.”
With a huff, she moves and pushes at my chest. “Do you honestly think I’d let you hurt me, Jamie?”
I wrinkle my nose. “I guess I wouldn’t want to mess with you.”
Her smile drops. “Especially now you know I’m a Winterfall.”
“Don’t,” I say softly. “Deal with that when you’re ready.”
The smile returns and we kiss again, slowly and carefully as we hold onto our place outside time. We both know the darkness waits outside the door and the moment we leave, this will engulf us.
But this won’t destroy us unless we allow it to.
Chapter Six
MAEVE
Ash pauses as he walks through the door, gaze immediately landing on where I sit with Jamie on the sofa, legs tucked under me and pressed into his side. Andrei appears and half-shoves by Ash into the cottage.
“What’s this about?” Andrei asks as he sits opposite, leaning forward with his forearms on his knees.
“Where’s Tobias?” asks Ash.
“Not coming,” says Jamie flatly.
Andrei immediately stands and swipes hair from his face, revealing darkening eyes. “Has Tobias done something to you, Maeve?”
I shake my head and swallow.
“You’re lying,” he says, cheeks reddening. “I could tell how upset you are the minute I walked in here. What did he do?”
“Please don’t get angry, Andrei.” My throat thickens and I struggle to get the words out.
He drags a hand down his face and mutters an apology as Ash steps forward to take his place on the sofa. “Then what? Is this about the tunnel? Did you have another vision?”
The sooner everybody knows, the sooner we deal with the fallout barrelling forward to flatten us.
“I discovered something about myself today.” Jamie’s grip on my leg tightens as I speak. “And there’s something you need to know about Tobias.”
Andrei’s jaw clenches. “What the fuck has he hidden from you now?”
“Tobias hasn’t hidden anything.” I suck in a breath. “He found the truth. I’m not who I thought.”
My voice cracks and the two guys are with me in seconds, Ash on the sofa beside me holding a hand and Andrei perched on the low table opposite, hand on my leg. Moistening my lips, I pour out the whole story—the Winterfalls, the curse, who I am and what Tobias did. Halfway through, Andrei withdraws his hand and balls his fists, while Ash stares in shock.
“How the fuck is he walking this earth?” snarls Andrei. “What the hell is he doing in an academy filled with witches?”
I’m trembling again, as recounting the story slams me back in the world I hid from with Jamie.
“Did Tobias say any more?” asks Ash, face as dark as Andrei’s.
“I didn’t hang around. I couldn’t cope.” I glance at Jamie. “I wanted to leave the academy, but Jamie stopped me.”
I’m pissed off when the held-back emotion pushes through and the tears start again. Annoyed, I wipe them away with the heel of my palm and stare down at my hand as I rub the palm on my jeans. The cottage door crashes shut, and I jerk my head up in alarm.
Andrei isn’t opposite me anymore.
“Oh, fuck, no,” says Ash as he strides to the door. “We have to stop him. I’m fucking angry but not dumb enough to attack a professor.”
“I know you’re fast, but you won’t catch a vampire,” says Jamie.
I stare at the closed door and picture Andrei’s figure blurring across the grounds towards the building.
What might Andrei do—or what will Tobias do to retaliate?
ANDREI
I don’t stop and think.
I never do.
I’m spurred on by the red mist behind my eyes and the fury over Tobias’s betrayal—of Maeve and me.
In his classroom? At his quarters? I’ll start with the classrooms until I find the bastard. Several students mill around in the entrance hall, beside the noticeboard—witches who turn their backs to me, and I sneer to myself. These Walcott kids stand beneath the banners representing each of us, pinned proudly on the wall at the academy entrance. Theodora may as well tear them down.
I reach the top of the stairs in seconds and in two more, I stand breathing heavily outside his classroom. Pausing for thought? No. I’m readying myself to punch the bastard in the fucking face.
The door handle moves down as I grab hold. Not locked. Stepping over the glowing runes, I slam the door behind me.
Tobias sits in the near darkness on the edge of his desk, arms crossed, the way he would if he were teaching. I don’t give him a chance to speak and cross the room, ready to unleash the fury bubbling through me.
He moves before I reach the desk, too quick for me to touch, and appears at the opposite end of the room. “Good evening, Andrei,” he says in an even tone. “I expected your visit.”
Anger mists my eyes again and I lunge at him again, lashing out with a fist.
Tobias snatches my wrist in a painful grip. “If you’re here to attack me, I advise you to leave. I’m sh
ort on patience and self-control after the last twenty-four hours.”
“You wouldn’t attack a student.”
He snorts. “I would defend myself if a student attacked me.”
Our gazes lock and his inscrutable expression pisses me off. Doesn't he care about what he's done?
He releases my wrist. “How’s Maeve?” he asks softly. “I presume she told you everything.”
I glare in disgusted shock as I rub my wrist. “How’s Maeve? You’ve destroyed her. She’s a mess.”
He blinks. “Would you rather I kept her truth a secret?”
“Oh, you’ve kept some really big fucking secrets.” Tobias doesn’t flinch as I half-spit the words in his face. “You carried out the worst massacre in recent history and ruined Maeve’s life. There’d be no curse without you. She would’ve had a happier childhood and not struggled with something she didn’t understand.”
“I can’t change the past, or the decisions her family made, Andrei.”
Tobias’s lack of emotion goads me and I seize him around the throat, squeezing. “You fucking bastard! You—”
My next words are choked from me as Tobias flips the situation and I’m against the classroom wall, pinned by my neck a second later. “This behaviour won’t help Maeve, or any of us,” he growls. “Grow up.”
“Us? You’re not part of us.” I rasp out.
“Unfortunately for you, I am and will be until I die.” The first glimmer of emotion crosses his face. Fear? Unhappiness? “And if whatever lives under the academy gets loose, I’m damn sure that death will come soon.”
My body slackens and he drops his hold but doesn’t back off. Tobias makes no attempt to control my thoughts or emotions, and I have no hope of finding my way into his mind.
“Maeve’s life is in danger with you around. I know what happened between you both at the Blackwood house. She told me.”
“Then you will know why her life isn’t in danger around me.”
“But there wouldn’t be a curse.”