by Jamie Knight
A lot of the things I had told her, including some of my deepest, darkest secrets, were confided to her because it felt safe at the time. In my mind, she was forever going to be a stranger, and because the program was anonymous couldn't betray my confidence if she wanted to. Though, to be fair, even then she didn't seem like someone who would do that.
Now this woman who knew so much about me was sitting across the table looking like an angel. The situation was making my mind and stomach flip. My mind spun with both positive and negative thoughts.
Most of the items in the positive column had to do with the here and now. How ethereally beautiful she was. How curvy and sexy, to the point that I couldn't help undressing her with my eyes. Not the sort of thing I would usually do, but there was something about this woman that made me have to do it. Her breasts certainly helped, and her legs that 'went all the way up' as my dad might have said. The gentle, round curve of her ass acted like a magnet to my eyes. It felt good to be able to look at her, despite the low-level embarrassment it brought — not to mention the sudden tightness in my pants.
On the other hand, there was the shock and the doubt. The shock of meeting someone I had every reason to think would always remain anonymous and the uncertainty about what she might actually think now that she had seen me in the flesh. I wasn't bad looking by traditional standards. Many women had called me handsome, and I had no reason to contradict them. Even if I didn't really see it myself.
Since the PTSD, though, I had been really self-conscious, particularly about my arm. It might have been bullshit machismo of a different type, but I really didn't want anyone pitying me. It didn't help that I wanted Charlotte so much but had no idea how she saw me. Or, for that matter, how her image of me had changed from the one she had built up in her head while we were writing to each other — especially considering some of the things I told her. A lot of which was pretty fucking dark and would make most people run the other way had they been uttered in person. Not because of the things I had done so much as what had been done to me and I had seen done to others. It could be really shocking to have your illusions challenged, let alone shattered.
“Can I see your hotel room?” she asked, breaking the silence.
“Um, sure,” I said, not knowing what else to say to her blunt request.
After I paid the bill, the silence continued as we drove through the night. The streetlights were like giant, predictable stars. As though reading my mind, Charlotte pushed the button on the CD player, the loud music picking up where we had left off. That was something we had in common, at least. There could be a lot more, for that matter. We had been writing for a long time, neither of us really seemed to have a filter, protected behind an assumed shield of anonymity. If half of what she wrote was true, I knew more about Charlotte than anyone save for maybe Hayley. A prospect that thrilled me as much as it was unsettling.
The hotel had outside entrances to the rooms, which was a relief so no one would see me entering with a strange woman. I didn't really need any lectures about it 'isn't that kind of hotel.' Particularly when I wasn't sure that any such thing would be going on. Thereby making anyone who assumed otherwise a dirty-minded dick in terms of their presumptions.
Truth be told, I wasn't even sure if I wanted anything like that to happen. Not in that moment anyway. I was still pretty conflicted. I was still intensely attracted to Charlotte but wanted to make sure she felt the same way. Besides which, I wasn't about to assume her intentions in asking to come and see my room. If I knew anything, it was that you could never really know or could even guess what was going on in someone else's mind.
The light flashed green, and the lock clicked softly as the card reader worked, giving me precisely four seconds to open the door before it locked itself again. Part of the state-of-the-art security system, lest someone break in and steal the shower curtain and a fifteen-year-old TV set. You could never be too careful.
I went to the coffee machine almost on reflex. My reliance on alcohol replaced with one on caffeine since I quit drinking. Charlotte meanwhile sat down on the couch, the only other piece of comfortable furniture other than the bed, and started slowly unlacing her boots, indicating that she planned on staying a while. An idea reinforced when she also slipped off her socks. I wondered if her shirt might be next, but she decided to stop where she was. I was conflicted between relief and disappointment. I would have loved to see her breasts in their glory but wasn't sure about where this would almost invariably lead, given the context.
The coffeemaker started doing its thing, and I was faced with the choice of either staying where I was and waiting for it to finish or going over to the couch and sitting with Charlotte. It took about two seconds to decide on the second option.
“That's really impressive,” Charlotte said as I sat down next to her.
“What?” I asked.
“How you can operate a coffee-machine one-handed,” Charlotte explained.
I had never really thought about it before. It was just one of many things I had learned to do in the last year or so out of raw, naked necessity. A lot of what I did was for similar reasons, never really stopping to think about it, let alone considering my own pleasure or joy. So much of my existence was focused on pain and struggle.
“I can do a lot one-handed,” I said, meaning it literally.
“Really?” she asked, with a shy smile.
“Yeah.”
“Show me,” she whispered.
I wrapped my right arm around and pulled her to me, making her giggle. She looked at me, and we kissed. It is impossible to say who leaned in first. It could very well have been a rare case of an entirely mutual kiss. What was sure was that it was incredibly passionate. There being maybe three seconds between initial contact and our mouths opening, out tongues gently massaging each other in a very erotic way — one in no way marred by the fact that Charlotte tasted slightly of the wine she was drinking at dinner.
Pulling away gently, Charlotte rested her head on my shoulder, softly nuzzling my neck. I held her as best I could and kissed her on the cheek. I didn’t even think to bring up whether or not we were going to have sex. It was clear, at least to me, that it wasn't happening. Charlotte was obviously having many of the same doubts I was.
Distantly I heard the flow of the coffeemaker pouring its payload into the pot and clicking itself off.
I held Charlotte until she fell asleep in my arms. Picking her up fireman style, I carried her over the bed, tucking her in under the surprisingly nice cotton covers and planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
Pouring a mug of coffee, I sat on the couch and watched her sleep, until the night took me as well.
Chapter Eight - Charlotte
There is an odd thing about dreams. You never knew when they might actually become real. Even with all the daydreaming I had done, I still didn't ever imagine that I might end up sleeping in Jacob’s bed. Granted, I was alone, but it was still much farther than I ever thought I would go at all, let alone on a first date.
When I woke up, my mind went back to the night before and our passionate kissing. It was hard to tell for sure, but I was pretty convinced I had moved in first. I just wanted Jacob so much, I had been completely overwhelmed by my hormones and did what felt good. The truth was I had wanted to fuck him. My body was screaming for it. My pussy aching to have him deep inside me, but I still had a block — a small but strong thing in the back of my mind that kept me from doing what I really wanted in case it went wrong. I had already had my heart broken twice and wasn't sure I could make it through a third time. Especially considering numbers two and three would be from the same guy.
That was part of it too. I had barely had time to cope with the fact that Jacob, my Jacob, was alive. After over a year of believing he was dead. Not that I had no reason to think that, but it still was pretty scant evidence when I started to think about it.
I lifted my arm from the empty side of the bed, where I looked for
him. Even all those years later, I still wasn't used to sleeping alone and reached out to cuddle or spoon who was beside me. Only this time, I had a somewhat new experience of not actually being alone in the room.
Jacob was sprawled out on the couch, snoozing lightly. It was as peaceful as I had yet seen him. Though to be fair, I had really only known him for a day. I didn't really remember how I had gotten into the bed. I had a feeling I had been asleep at the time, and Jacob had carried me over and tucked me in. I tried to imagine how he could do that with only one good arm but couldn't quite. I figured I could ask him when he woke up. Whatever it was, I was sure it had been really impressive.
Also impressive was how he had been such a gentleman, stopping when I wanted him to and sleeping on the couch, giving me the big bed. I slipped out of bed, still in my clothes, and did my best to walk stealthily to the door and get my boots on.
“Leaving so soon?” Jacob asked, his eyes still closed.
I dropped the boot I was about to put on, surprised to suddenly hear him speak. Particularly considering he looked fully asleep.
“I-I have to go, get ready for the meeting with the landlord. He is coming all the way down from Santa Rosa, after all. You set up a meeting with the landlord, right?”
“I did. Before going to pick you up last night,” Jacob confirmed, finally opening his eyes.
“Right, right, exactly. I want to look as good as I can and—”
“You look perfect to me,” Jacob said, looking me up and down in a way that made my cheeks blush and my pussy wet. I seriously could have jumped on him right then and there. “Do you regret staying last night?”
I shook my head vigorously. Nothing could be further than the truth. If I anything, I regretted not being able to go as far as we both clearly wanted to. He didn't say anything at the time, but I could see his hard cock pressing up against his pants. I wondered if he had jerked off thinking about me.
“No, not at all. I just want to go freshen up.”
“I can order breakfast to the room, and I have two robes.”
“Isn't that expensive?”
“Not at all, the robes come with the room.”
“I mean ordering room service.”
“Probably. Liam is generously paying the room bill.”
“Liam? Hayley's husband?”
“That's the one,” he said, flashing a grin.
“Okay, then.”
While Jacob called for room service, I went into the bathroom and closed the door, though without bothering to actually lock it. I was secretly hoping that Jacob might decide to come in and join me. It would be a liberty but one that I didn't mind at all if he took. He could take all the liberties with me he liked as far as I was concerned.
I slowly undressed, still hoping that he might come in and decide to help me out of my clothes. It didn't quite go that way, and I got into the shower alone, like I had been in bed, and he had been on the couch. Getting down to my bare essentials, I turned on the water and got under the warm spray, the tension in my shoulders starting to relax.
When I was good and wet, I got the soap, surprisingly nice for a complimentary hotel bar, and started soaping my skin. I could at least tell myself I tried to get actually get clean before going straight down for my pussy.
Letting the bar drop, I massaged the outside in small hard circles, doing my best to relieve the tension there as well. I started to moan softly as the pleasure flowed through me. I braced against the cool wall to keep myself upright in case my knees buckled, which they had been known to do.
Slipping one finger up inside myself, I started working the walls of my pussy, gently brushing my G-spot working up to it. My pussy was still really sensitive and needed to be handled gently, at least until I had cum a couple of times. Then I could get fucked with the best of them.
Easing another finger in next to the first, I started moving both slowly in and out, continuing to stroke my clit with my thumb as I did so. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Jacob's cock working in and out of me, making me feel so damn good. Even though I was sure that his cock would feel even better. Sliding in and out of my tight little pussy. I wished so much I had the nerve to just come out and make it clear what I wanted. I just wasn't sure that he felt the same and didn't want to push him into anything he wasn’t ready for.
Working myself to a deep, moaning orgasm, I turned off the shower and got out quickly drying off, feeling embarrassed about what I had done. Wondering if Jacob had heard me going to town on myself and what he thought if he had. I really didn't want to scare him away or having him think I was some kind of slut. Especially when all I really wanted was him. Even if I wasn't ready to admit it.
“Are you okay?” Jacob asked when I came out, still tying up the robe.
“Sorry?” I asked, surprised by the question.
“You were in there for a while. I was just wondering if there was something wrong with the plumbing.”
“Not anymore,” I said, blushing at my own semi-dirty joke.
“Oh, good, I was concerned when I heard the moaning,” he said, one eyebrow slightly raised.
Oh my God, he knew!
Jacob was trying to play it cool, his tone so deadpan I wasn't quite sure, but I was pretty sure that he knew. He had heard me moaning in the shower while touching myself and imagining it was him. On the other hand, he didn't seem at all put off by it.
At least not if the raging erection bulging in his pants was anything to go by.
Chapter Nine - Jacob
As soon as Charlotte closed the door, I knew. I mean, she could have accidentally left the door unlocked but it seemed unlikely. It was closed to give me privacy if I wanted it but not locked, in case I wanted to go in there and join her and, oh lord, did I. Especially when the water started, and I could hear her moaning. Her delighted vocalizations echoed of the porcelain surfaces.
I couldn't be sure at first, but I was sure she was thinking about me when she started saying my name. Not loudly, it was really only a whisper, but I clearly heard it between her moans and the subtle slap and smack of her fingering her tight little pussy. It was all I could do not to kick the door down and take her over the sink, but I had managed to restrain myself. I was pretty sure such a rough encounter would hurt her. It still drove me crazy knowing she was naked and wet, in more ways than one, on the other side of the door.
It didn't help much that the provided robe didn't really leave too much to the imagination.
When she came out looking embarrassed, I couldn't help but tease her a bit. Not to be mean, really, just to let her know that I knew and was interested and was up for it if she was. I wasn't sure if the message quite got across.
“Hey, look, food,” she said, going over to the table set up in the room.
“Indeed, it is. I took the liberty of ordering room service while you were, um, enjoying the shower. I mostly went by what you ordered last night. I didn't figure you were a vegetarian.”
“No, not at all,” she said, sitting at the table, the robe riding up even further on her thighs.
I got up and tried to shift my erection into a position, so it was less obvious, went over to the table, and sat down to breakfast. The awkwardness fell over us again, and we ate mostly in silence. Or at least I did.
Charlotte just played glumly with her food. Seeing that made me suddenly lose my appetite.
“Maybe I should have let you go home last night,” I commented.
“Let had nothing to do with it,” she admitted, still gazing into her plate. “I wanted to come here. To be with you. I-I can't stop thinking about you. About b-being with you. I want it so much it hurts.”
“Same here,” I said, causing her to look up in shock.
“Really?”
By way of reply, I went to her side of the table, sweeping it clear with one stroke of my arm as I did, plates and silverware clattering to the floor, causing Charlotte to jump and squeak with surprise.<
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Taking her firmly by the back of the neck with my good arm, I stood Charlotte up in front of me and kissed her soft and deep, pushing my tongue in as far it would go, using it to tenderly massage hers. Charlotte relaxed in my arms, returning the kiss. With her assent, I untiled the belt on her robe, my tongue still deep in her mouth, keeping either of us from speaking as the robe slid from her shoulders and fell to the floor behind her.
Using my right hand, I gently explored her naked body, caressing down her neck to her breasts, which were even bigger and softer than I had imagined. She sighed softly as I caressed my way down the side of the left one, lightly touching the nipple. Continuing down between her tits and over her belly, I ran the back of my hand down the top of her left thigh before coming back up between her legs and gently cupping her pussy. She gasped and held onto me with both arms as I lovingly worked her pussy, stroking the outside in gentle circles.
Charlotte started softly moving her hips in time with my fingers as I got her ready. When she was nice and wet, I slipped in one finger and then two inside her, her sweet, tender little pussy squeezing them in welcome. She tightened her hold on me as I fingered her. It only took a few minutes before Charlotte nearly exploded with an orgasm, letting out a long screaming moan and leaning hard against me to keep from collapsing.
“Never had that before?” I asked.
“N-no,” Charlotte managed.
I kissed her gently on the cheek and guided her over to the cleared off table, laying her out on it. She let me position her, putting her legs so her feet were up on the edge of the table, her ass and pussy very close as well. Keeping my left hand wrapped gently around her ankle to maintain contact, I pulled up a chair. I sat between Charlotte's open legs, staring admiringly at her pretty little pussy, giving it several gentle strokes with my good had.
When she had relaxed a bit, I leaned in running my tongue the length of her silken pink lips, making Charlotte moan loud and deep. I did it again, and she reached down with both hands, burying them in my hair, which had grown back quite admirably since my crew cut days.