“It’s just a dance. Don’t mistake it for anything more.”
“Wait,” I called when he went to leave.
He balled his fists at his side. “What?”
“Did I read the moment wrong?” I held my breath, waiting for clarification on whatever it was.
“Don’t ruin good moments, Winter. You will be sorely disappointed if you want anything more from me than someone to have a good time with.”
“I won’t be disappointed. I know who you are.” I left my head up. “I just thought, today, that I saw a glimmer of someone nice under all of that arrogance.”
He shook his head. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking because I want you to be happy here and we had a good time today, that I can in any way falling for you.” He walked toward me, his jaw clenched.
“I wasn’t making any mistake. I don’t want your love.”
His gaze was penetrating. His eyes flitted around, searching my expression. His breath hitched as he closed the inches between us. “Good. Because I don’t fall in love. With anyone.”
“Good to know, but like I said, I don’t care. It’s sad, thought, that you’re so lost to any idea of vulnerability. You ruined a good moment because of that, not the other way around.”
“We cannot afford vulnerability.” His eyes glossed, then his expression darkened. He turned on his heel and left me standing in the death of an illusion.
Stomping through the doorway with my arms crossed over my chest, I rushed through the corridor and down the steps into a bustling hallways. I was furious, looking up at the ceiling. He blew hot and cold one minute to the next. I barely knew him, and yet, he managed to infuriate me like no one else.
I wasn’t looking where I was going and slammed into another body. Looking up, her green gaze latched onto mine like two snakes biting into my soul. I gasped and desperately tried to clear my mind. It was the castle seer. I thought of Cedric, his wings, his golden eyes, his hair… anything to distract myself from the truth. After a moment, she pulled out of my head.
“I know something is coming,” she warned. “If you betray us, Winter Mortis, you will be destroyed!”
Her white hair was tied up into a knot. Leaves were entwined through her thick strands, giving it the appearance of a nest. Her lips, which were coated in shimmering white, were set into a hard line.
“I know,” I said, knowing it was the only truth I could offer. I held my breath as I waited for her to get out of my way. My anxiety came back in waves. My throat was closing over, my heart pounded, and my hands were clammy. I skirted around her, then ran up the steps to the west wing where my room was. My teeth chattered as the walls stole all the warmth emitted from the lamps and fireplaces strategically placed in every other room. Tears stung at my eyes, but I wasn’t sure why I was crying.
TWENTY-TWO
Drops of ink splattered onto the parchment. I rolled the pen between my fingers and sighed. I was scared. My fear cracked into my staff, which I was hesitant to use in front of the fae. Their hatred toward me was as obvious as Blaise’s motives. He wanted to be king. I could see it all over his face. It was unusual for a faery to be ambitious, but he could give my father’s eagerness a run for its coin.
I let go of my staff. It was hooked onto my belt, which had been made to match my forest-green gown with lace flowers that covered the netted sleeves. I rested my chin onto my palm, pressing my elbow onto the mahogany table. I didn’t know what to write. My mind was as blank as the page in front of me. It was fae tradition to write their own vows, but I figured it didn’t matter. The wedding wouldn’t happen anyway.
Drawings of Blaise and me were splattered on every paper. I watched the one that had been left outside my door that morning turn to ash in the fire.
WINTER MORTIS’S DESPERATE CLING FOR POWER TAINTS THE LAZARUS NAME.
The headline made me sick. I wasn’t desperate for power, and it was laughable that the fae believed they had any. We were the stronger ones. I could take on their magic and glamours easily. With that in mind, I kept my staff close, out of the fear they might try to take it from me. Without it, I would be powerless in a place where I had more enemies than allies.
Really speaking, I only had one ally: Blaise.
I had contested the headline to him earlier that day, but he dismissed it, saying he had no control over what any newspapers printed. He wouldn’t have tried even if he could. He didn’t care about me, which he’d made abundantly clear, he was only interested in keeping me appeased and amenable so I didn’t make his life hell when we got married. He was used to charming girls and getting what he wanted, but I couldn’t succumb to him. I was a princess, not some plaything, and I wouldn’t beg for him to do anything. Even if it meant being embarrassed with headlines on newspapers I couldn’t change.
He also had his mind on other things. King Azrael was deteriorating by the day. I’d swear, if it weren’t for the fact that he was immortal, I’d think he was dying. A part of me wanted to warn Blaise, only if it meant I could leave. I was fed up with the dubious looks all day long and the guilt pinching me. If I thought my father would not kill them, including Blaise, I’d let it happen, but I couldn’t. My father and I were on the same side finally, and he had treated me how I always wanted him too but being back at Lepidus court cut me with every step. Reminding me of why I had doubted him in the first place.
I’d seen too many of Jasper’s sisters to remind me of what my father was capable of. Jasper’s laugh echoed in theirs, and his ghost haunted me with familiar smiles. Going through it again, seeing murder before my eyes of someone who didn’t deserve it, it stained my soul.
Despite Blaise’s attitude, I didn’t want him dead. They were vulnerable, simply because they believed themselves to be immortal.
It dawned on me, and the obvious crashed down, hitting me all at once. Jasper had been killed. He was immortal. Why didn’t I realize it before? Of course they had a weapon, an Object of Kai, the sword. It wasn’t lost to time. I’d been so stupid to not make the connection before. The shattered threads of truth pieced together. Jasper had turned to ash, and that was what the sword did to immortals.
I’d been too attentive to fine details to notice the bigger picture.
I rushed down the steps, stumbling across a girl as I did. She had silver hair and green eyes. She gave me a hardened look, then walked away. Finally, I found the door to Blaise’s library and thumped on it three times.
“It’s Winter,” I called breathlessly through the crack.
The door swung open. His hair was disheveled, and tiny beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. “What is it?” He looked side to side, checking if I was alone. “I’m busy.”
“Doing what?” I looked around the doorframe and gasped. A girl in her early twenties was pulling up her stockings. I blinked twice, then put my hands up in the air. “Or should I say doing who?”
A flicker of embarrassment crossed his face. “What do you want, Winter?”
“I wanted to talk to you about something, but it doesn’t matter. It can wait.” I reminded myself I had no right to be upset, but I couldn’t help but feel enraged. I puffed my cheeks out, then dug my fingernails into my hands. “It’s embarrassing for my fiancé to be going around and sleeping with people. I have a reputation.”
“As do I.” He answered simply. He rubbed his forehead with his thumb and index finger. “Look, I’m sorry you had to see it this way, but you knew what we were getting into. I’m going to change who I am because I’m getting married.”
“Okay, well.” I glanced at the girl then back at Blaise. “I need to speak with you alone.”
He hid a smile, then looked back at the girl. “I’ll come find you later, if you just wanted to be alone.”
My lips twisted. “Not like that.” I huffed, then turned to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist, stopping me.
I tugged myself free. “Don’t.”
He squinted. “Why are you so upset? I thought we wanted the same th
ing. A political alliance. I told you yesterday I can’t be something I’m not.”
“It’s not that. It’s the mannerism in which you act. Such complete disrespect for my position here.”
Silence hung between us. I’d acted impulsively, running down to warn him without a plan. Putting my people in danger. My family. The momentary lapse in judgement was gone. “I paused, rocking on my heels. “We can talk later.”
“I’ll come find you.”
I nodded, then turned and quickly walked away. A lump formed in my throat. At least I had attempted to do the right thing, even if I’d bolted at the last minute. Surely, it counted for something. Besides, I wasn’t even meant to know what my father’s plans were.
But you do.
My inner voice chastised me as I ambled to the banquet room. I was craving something sweet. The trail of my dress dragged behind me.
I’d done everything I could.
Nope. He will die, and you didn’t stop it.
“Shut it!” I shouted at my anxiety, earning looks from several fae. I looked away, then clenched my jaw. I paced in a circle. Did they deserve it? It’s not like the fae were nice to me. They were rude and unpleasant. I hadn’t been treated with any kind of respect except from Blaise, and that was limited at best.
I was so focused on my thoughts as I reached the main hall by the front doors, that I ran right into King Azrael. I jolted back, and my eyes bulged.
His mouth was open, and his tongue was black. If I didn’t know better, I’d have presumed he’d been tortured. His bloodshot eyes found mine. The crown on his head tipped over. Before anyone saw, I caught it, then straightened it against his curls. “Your Majesty.”
He leaned in close. Croakily, he hushed. “You should not be here,” he hissed into my ear. A shiver snaked down my spine.
He coughed, and blood dotted his silver robe.
“You’re unwell,” I stated, unsure of how. They could heal. They couldn’t die, so how could he be sick? Is that what happened to them after centuries of being alive? My mind wandered up to the dagger. I pushed the thought away.
“Why shouldn’t I be here?” I asked in a whisper.
He parted his lips but froze when he looked over the top of my head. I turned around and saw Blaise staring at us from the top of the staircase.
He ran to my side, moving faster than I’d ever seen him go. When he reached us, an invisible tug-of-war took place between Blaise and his father. Neither spoke. Instead, they stared down the other until Azrael relented.
“You should get your outfit fitted for tomorrow,” Blaise stated.
King Azrael stumbled away. I curtseyed as he did, but he was no longer paying any attention to me.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“It’s nothing.” He swirled his finger around his temple. “He’s losing it.”
“Is that even possible? Doesn’t the mind heal as well as the body?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he took my hand.
I recoiled. “No thanks. I know where it’s been.”
“Ouch. Look, I apologize you had to see that.”
“It’s not my business.”
I could see his pulse under the skin at the top of his chest, by his collarbone. His chest heaved when he looked at me. “I’m sorry about the other day. I wish I could sometimes.”
“Wish you could what?”
He didn’t answer again. He was good at that.
I huffed. “I should go for my final fitting.”
He grabbed my arm as I went to walk away, pulling me back toward him. His pupils grew bigger. “You’re always in a rush. You said you wanted to talk, well I’m here.”
I wanted to move closer but stayed rooted to the spot.
“I misspoke. Forget it.”
He tugged at a lock of his hair. “Please, Winter. We are to be married.”
“What does that mean to you, exactly?”
His voice deepened, and his breaths were loud as he forced them out of his nose. “I was the one who wanted this wedding.”
“I thought the king did.”
His cheeks burned. “I foresaw this alliance and what it could bring to both of our kingdoms. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“How did you get him to agree?”
“You said you feel disrespected.” He changed the topic. “What can I do to make it better?”
I shrugged. “Don’t disrespect me.”
“What does that mean to you?”
“How about not sleeping around the whole court while you’re engaged. People are already talking about me, looking down on me. I feel like I’m less than nothing here.”
He blew out a tense breath. “Do you want me to stop seeing other girls?”
I tucked in my upper lip. “I don’t care about you and the other girl, only my image.” Panic flitted through me. I’d forgotten myself. We both sensed the lie, but he knew better than to call it out.
“I won’t make it obvious then. I’ll keep my directions more.. discreet. He smirked. “So, back to the main point. What did you want to tell me?” he asked, tugging at his collar. “You seemed so flustered earlier.”
“Not now,” I said quietly, looking around us.
He dipped his head. “When we’re alone then.”
I inhaled sharply. “My family. Shouldn’t they be arriving soon?”
“Your father arrived through the mountains earlier.” His expression darkened. “They should be here shortly. Along with the many, many guards and friends who insisted on attending.” Suspicion crowned his eyes.
“Well, it is the wedding of the century.” I offered.
He leaned in and brushed his lips against my cheek. His breath tickled my ear. “You look so much better in our clothes.” His finger laced over the back of my dress down to my waist. “I told you.”
He maintained eye contact when I backed away. My mouth flooded with saliva, and my fingers tingled. I didn’t dare stay.
He turned away from me, then clasped his hands together.
Doors swung open. I wasn’t prepared for their arrival. Blaise was right. My father had brought enough people to make up a small army.
“Blaise Lazarus,” my father said in greeting, his posture stiff as he shook Blaise’s hand. He lowered his chin, taking him in. “It’s good to finally meet you. Where is King Azrael?”
“King Amos.” Blaise bowed at his waist. “He is getting fitted for tomorrow.”
A sheen of sweat glistened off my father’s forehead and chin. “It is custom for him to greet us.”
“Please take no offence, Your Majesty. We do things differently here, but I will make certain that my father will come and find you this evening once you are settled. He will want to see you. We have our best rooms fixed for you and your guests.”
My father moved back slightly, then scratched his jaw. “Our things are on the drawbridge.”
Blaise’s head flinched back slightly. “I’ll have someone bring them right away.”
They could have used their magic to bring them. He had left them there on purpose. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. My father pushed past Blaise, his arms outstretched. My eyes widened as they wrapped around me.
“How are they treating you?” he whispered.
“The others don’t like me, but Blaise has been good to me.” A half-truth.
He pulled away and held me at arm’s length, his hands resting on my shoulders. “Don’t worry. Tomorrow is the day.”
We both knew what he meant, but I had to pretend I didn’t.
“Exciting.” I grimaced.
His eyes flashed red. “Intently.”
***
“What are you doing?” Excitement flashed his features. “Sneaking around like this?”
I was holding an oil lamp, my bare free freezing against the polished stone step. The paintings on the stone walls seemed to come to life under the flickering flames.
“I wasn’t looking for you.” I smirked, cocking my head.
“If that’s what you’re thinking?”
“Ah, honesty. How refreshing.” He flashed me a smile. “You really should wear shoes when walking around the castle.”
“Don’t go pretending you care about me now.”
“I don’t not care.”
“How sweet.”
He shrugged one shoulder, giving me a nonchalant look. “I can be.”
“What are you doing walking around this time of night too?”
“I came to see you actually.” He brushed off some crumb’s leftover from dinner on his tunic. “Amos hasn’t touched a drop of liquor this evening, nor any of his men. Strange isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.” Was all I could say. “It’s King Amos to you too.”
“Fine. Berate me.” A smile unfurled on his lips. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”
“Honestly. No.”
“Nervous?”
“Yes.” I answered earnestly.
He pressed his thumb under my chin and tilted my face up to look at him. “I’m sorry for disrespecting you before. You deserve more than that as my future wife.”
“Thank you.”
He leaned in, his lips growing closer to mine. At the last second, he diverted, kissing me on the cheek. I let out the breath I had been holding. “I’m not good at feelings, but I can try being friends with you. I like you enough I suppose.”
“I don’t not like you.”
He chuckled. “Touché.”
“I should go and eat.” I explained. “I’ll see you later or tomorrow.”
“Definitely!”
TWENTY-THREE
It was late when I reached Blaise’s library. After searching through hordes of books, I found what I had been looking for. A pungent smell of leather hit my nostrils when I pulled the book from the shelf. I ran my fingertip along the title. Vetiti. Quickly, I placed it between my upper arm and side, then hurried back to my room.
Taking a shortcut through the nature rooms, I treaded carefully over a patch of wildflowers. I paused and looked around. It was three in the morning and yet people were still awake, still partying.
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