They did all have strong interests in Blaise remaining king. The monarchy kept them rich, with land, titles, and everything they enjoyed. “No,” Abor said quickly, his tone clipped.
“That is all for today,” Gregoir announced and stood along with the others. “There is a feast this evening.”
Abor slapped Gregoir on the shoulder. “First one in weeks. The atmosphere is growing duller by the day.”
I followed their chatter as they left the cold room, then I walked out behind them, hand in hand with Cedric. “Blaise is avoiding me. He won’t even come to the council meetings. You’d think he would. It’s in his interest.”
“I can’t imagine why.” His reply was thick with sarcasm. “He was going to marry you, Winter. You’ve come to his home with another man. What did you expect?”
My stomach churned. “It was a political marriage.”
His eyebrow arched. “Not even you can believe that’s true. Look, I know you two are over, and I trust you—I’m not worried—but don’t pretend there was nothing between you. You told me about the kisses and dancing when we were in Berovia, remember?”
I placed my hand on my aching stomach. “It was fleeting.” I mentally kicked myself for overexplaining every detail of my trip back home, when I’d arrived in Berovia and found Cedric. “Really, I made it sound more than it was.”
He laughed. “I wish sometimes sorcerers also couldn’t lie. Look, us faeries feel things deeply.”
“Not Blaise,” I snapped. “He doesn’t. Trust me.” I thought back to the mer king. “Anyway, the good news is Edgar is still on the throne and hasn’t moved from the castle.” I recalled the beginning of the meeting, something I’d been waiting to discuss with Cedric in private. “Which means Berovia hasn’t yet sent armies or managed to siphon magic from the dragons, else they would have. The bad news…”
“Nothing came out in the newspapers.” Cedric sighed. “Abor didn’t say a word, and I assume it’d be the first thing they’d mention if it was public knowledge that Xenos is hoarding dragons and building an indestructible army.”
“No,” I grumbled. “That spineless newswriter. To think, I gave him two important letters right on his lap he could have used to make the biggest story of his career.”
“Your being alive has been announced, however.”
“Yes.” I sighed. “It seems everyone is aware, thanks to King Xenos, which means I have zero element of surprise. There are a lot of questions being asked.” My stomach knotted. People wanted to know my whereabouts all this time and how I got to Berovia, but fortunately, while in Niferum, I didn’t have to answer any of them. “I’m sure they’ll die down soon. Gossip always does.”
Cedric rubbed the side of my arm. “Because we already had the element of surprise with our vast armies?” he joked and looked around the empty corridor.
I smacked his arm. “Blaise has agreed to join forces.”
“To house you, to aid you, but not to back you with a show of force. You heard them. They don’t have the numbers. They’re fighting their own people with their army.”
I rubbed the side of my neck. “Then we must pray Edgar will abdicate.” The idea was laughable.
“I don’t pray, but I will certainly set the intention.”
I blew out a tense breath. “I mean, Edgar has to, by our laws—even though he won’t because he doesn’t care for tradition.” I ground my teeth. “I am heir to the throne and alive, but if what you said before is right… He doesn’t believe in our religion, which means he thinks he doesn’t need to follow our rules.” My shoulders slumped. “I am utterly alone, fighting for a crown, and sometimes, I wonder why I even bother with the odds stacked against me,” I admitted, feeling smaller than ever.
Cedric leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You have rambled on and on about how much you love your kingdom, your people, and how you want to change things. You talk about your birthright with unwavering faith, and your religion, the things you’re fighting for. Don’t lose sight. You’re the most stubborn person I know.”
Warmth spread through my stomach. A playful smirk curled my lips. “I am a little stubborn.”
He placed his fingers an inch apart. “Oh, just a little.” He laughed.
An idea popped into my head. “Wouldn’t it be amazing if I could get news to the firedrake warders about Xenos hiding them? I saw them at the castle. They were terrifying. I hoped the news would be enough, but apparently, I need to take things into my own hands. I mean, we could join forces against Berovia. It’s a start. An army. Imagine, Cedric, if we had dragons on our side.”
He placed his hands on my shoulders, exhaling softly. “I wish I could say it’s possible, but they reside on one of the deadliest islands in the world. We wouldn’t even make it past the shores alive. Also, not to take away more hope, but I want you to be realistic. Aquarius is the only one who can navigate the fae waters and any others with ease. He’s the most skilled sailor I’ve met, and I’ve come across many. We would need him to get there and he’s gone from here, probably back in Berovia by now.”
I groaned. “Great.”
“You don’t even know if the firedrake warders would have agreed. They may have just descended on Xenos and gotten themselves killed. They’re wild spirits, Winter. They can’t be allied with.”
“I disagree. A common enemy makes a wonderful alliance.”
“Then we must agree to disagree.”
I rolled my eyes. “Enough talk of politics.” I tugged him down a narrow passageway and grinned when I reached the arched, glassless windows. “I want to show you something.”
Before I could walk us into the small courtyard leading out to the larger gardens, I spotted Lucien and Niam, Blaise’s brothers, walking.
Lucien spotted me first. He was a spitting image of King Azrael, from his long nose to piercing eyes and tall, muscular appearance. Niam looked like Blaise, but his features were softer. His almond-shaped blue-and-silver eyes met mine. Next to them, Niam’s boyfriend waved. He was dressed in some outfit resembling peacock feathers.
“Who are they?”
“Notice the crowns,” I said as we approached them. “Niam and Lucien Lazarus. Princes. The other is Niam’s partner. I forget his name.”
“Winter!” Niam said brightly, hugging me. “It’s great to meet you once again. Although, I did expect to have you as my sister by now. Never mind. Blaise told us how you running away from the wedding saved us. I’m glad your father is dead after what he wanted to do to us. I mean, my condolences and everything, but he was quite the monster.”
“Enough, Niam!” Lucien scolded, bringing his icy gaze back to mine. “My brother tends to babble when he’s nervous. We are pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Niam pressed his lips together. “Sorry. You remember Crawn?” He pointed at his boyfriend, whose bright-green eyes matched the turquoise in the feathers on his shirt.
I shook his hand. “How are you?”
He bowed at his waist. “Your Highness.”
“We are late for a meeting.” Lucien’s gaze bore into Niam’s. “We’re afraid we must cut this short.”
Even in his mannerism, Lucien reminded me of the Azrael I’d met when I’d come here at fifteen, after our engagement. Ruthless. Devoid of emotion. More so than even Blaise.
Niam smiled, bunching his cheeks. “Blaise will be delighted to have you back. He cares about you, you know.”
Lucien scowled. “Niam.”
“Sorry. I’ll see you this evening at the banquet?”
I nodded. “We will be there. This is Cedric, by the way.”
Lucien didn’t say a word. Instead, he rolled his eyes at us, displeasure in his expression.
“A light faery!” Crawn exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to meet one. I have questions.”
“Later,” Lucien snapped, his patience growing thinner. “Excuse us, Your Highness.”
The three of them hurried away. Niam wrapped his thick jacket tightly as the snow f
ell thicker. I turned toward Cedric. “I like Niam. He seems nice.”
Cedric raised his dark blond eyebrows. “I don’t like the other one.”
“Lucien?”
He nodded. “Seems like trouble.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Yeah, he does a bit.” I breathed in deeply. “Anyway, I wanted to show you the gardens. They’re stunning, especially with all the snow.”
Snowflakes landed on my hair, contrasting the black waves, as we ran outside. Taking the same path Blaise and I did once upon a time, we reached the woods. Fir trees reached out into a forest as far as the eye could see.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
He didn’t take his eyes off me. “It really is.”
I slapped his arm and blushed pink. We both stood still, appreciating the wintry landscape.
The evergreens melted into shadows in the distance. A lake surrounded the area, and the clarity reminded me of Kiros’s eyes. They were unlike anything I’d ever seen. I wondered how much he was hurting after I left. I felt guilty, but I didn’t altogether like him that much, so it wasn’t overwhelming. Just enough to tug on the corners of my mind now and again.
Cedric grabbed my hand and pulled me into him, placing his other arm around me. “We haven’t had a chance to stop and breathe since this started.”
My worries melted. “I’ve been dying for some time with you.” I walked my fingers up his chest, grinning. “I never thought you’d be interested in me. I mean, I know you were kind of interested at first, but then you learned who I was and—”
The kiss stole my next breath, buckling my knees. He held me up, his fingers dancing up to my hair and getting tangled in my black waves.
“Nothing in the past or future matters, but right now…”
We closed our eyes in unison. I wanted to lose myself in him and forget everything else. The world crumbled away as we kissed by the trees.
When we fell apart, he wore a lopsided grin.
I steadied myself and pulled away. “It feels so free to be away from all the worry and politics. You’re my haven.”
He grinned. “I have always wanted to do this.”
I eyed him as he leaned over, balling snow in his hands.
“The closest I came to seeing snow was when I came to Magaelor in the—”
“Yes,” I said, interrupting him, not wanting to talk about the battle that had brought him and his murderous brother here. I would have to wait to avenge André until after I was back on the throne. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell Cedric that yet. A life for a life. It was the right of anyone in Magaelor. His brother took mine, and in turn, I would end his.
“Careful,” he warned, then threw the snowball at me. It splayed across my dress.
My eyes widened. “You’re going to regret that.” I laughed. I made a snowball and threw it, but he dodged it by flying upward. “No fair!”
He laughed and flew at me, then swept me into his arms. I couldn’t stop smiling, until I saw Blaise staring out of the top castle window at us. The sadness in his features hurt my heart.
TWENTY-FOUR
I thrashed around in my bed, kicking the blankets to the floor, as the cage from my nightmares pulled me deeper into the dream. My blistering skin begged for relief as the sun beat down on me, blinding me. When I opened my eyes again, the redthorn viper slithered in, puffing out a regal hood and spitting venom as it sank its fangs into my skin. The putrid stench of vomit and urine pinched my nostrils, making me gag. Blisters burned my sore skin. My parched tongue begged for even a drop of water.
Then, something else woke me. A calling. I awoke in a puddle of sweat, my hair stuck around my forehead and on my chest. My chest heaved, and I pinched my eyes shut. Calming my racing pulse, I swallowed thickly. I could still feel the echo of pain coursing through me, the pull that had dragged me gratefully from my sleep. I climbed out of the bed, and my feet hit the cold stone ground. I shivered as I wrapped a blanket around my shoulders.
My feet carried me in a hazy state until I reached a desolate corridor with a large arched window overlooking the snowy trees and matte-black night. Blaise stared out of it, with his elbows pressed against the stone ledge and his face in his hands. Sobs escaped through his fingers; his body wrenched back when I touched him.
He flinched, turning to face me. “What are you doing here?” He was as white as fog, his eyes bloodshot, the skin underneath sunken. “You need to leave.”
A lump formed in my throat. “I just knew you were here somehow. I couldn’t sleep either.”
“Then go have a maid bring you some herbal tea.”
The panic in my heart wouldn’t subside. “It’s more than that,” I said, trembling when I remembered the cage. When I touched him again, his pain pinched through me. “Tell me what’s wrong,” I pleaded. I traced my fingers down his cheek and stopped at his lips. I pulled away, then closed my eyes. He couldn’t even look at me. I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt, no matter what he’d done to me. My anger dissipated when I saw his tortured eyes. “You don’t need to hide your darkness from me.”
“Don’t.” He turned his back toward me, looking out at the starry night. “You shouldn’t have come to me.”
“I had no choice,” I whispered. “And I know I was angry, but you must understand what I’d gone through. We both did things wrong.”
He turned on his heel and looked me dead in the eyes with a calculating stare. He grabbed my wrist and wrenched me close to him. “Don’t you get it?” he asked through his teeth. “You’re making things worse by being here. It’s driving me into madness.”
Tears formed, and I didn’t care if he could see them. “I didn’t have anywhere to go.”
“I know.” He let go of my wrist. “But did you have to bring him with you, to shove your newfound happiness in my face? I have enough going on without watching you play in the snow and kiss in the same spot we did almost a year ago.”
His words crushed my heart. “I’m sorry, okay, but what did you expect? For me to run into your arms? You threatened to have me dethroned. Then your letter asking me to marry someone else for your gain.”
“If you’ve come here to remind me of all the terrible things I’ve done and how I’m so awful, then don’t bother. I’m numb, lost. I don’t know who I am or what I want anymore.”
I squeezed my fingers into his arms, reminding him that this was real and I was here, even if he told himself he didn’t want me to be. “I’m not leaving you like this. I want to help you.”
His gaze flitted, searching mine. It was invasive, as if he were staring into my bare soul. A fierce want pulsated between us. His fingers flexed, then curled. “Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Look at me like that. With those eyes.”
Our worlds crashed.
His lips were on mine, stealing my next breath. Neither of us wanted to let go. It was wrong. Desperate.
His pain lessened as we were consumed in holding each other. I needed him like I needed air. I couldn’t think. When we pulled apart, his eyes were pointed, his expression stern. “Come with me,” he ordered, pulling me into an empty room. He pushed me down on the bed, pressed himself against me, and moaned as he kissed my neck. I couldn’t breathe. I was dizzy, high on him. The subtle smell of pine and clover made me lightheaded. He deepened the kiss.
“Stop,” I managed to say after a minute. “I can’t.” I sat upright, gasping. “Cedric. I can’t do this to Cedric.” I spluttered, remembering the man who’d saved me, the man I cared for.
His mouth parted. Anger stole the lust from his stare. “Why him? What does he give you?”
“He fought for me, cares for me, and saved me in every way possible.”
He looked away, moving off the bed as quick as lightning. “Then don’t search me out in the middle of the night, caring for me, giving me hope that you missed me too.”
I did, and I had wanted him to do those things to me at one point, but he couldn’t. He never
could give me that. I couldn’t tell him. Not now. “I want to be your friend.”
“We are not destined to be friends,” he stated, his tone deflated. “Don’t come looking for me again.”
“Blaise.” My voice cracked. I hurried to him before he could leave, grabbing his sleeve. “Please, don’t go.”
He turned. “What do you want from me? I can’t be friends with you.”
I played my fingers over his chest. “I know you can’t feel love deeply.”
“Don’t.” He pushed me away. “Get out.”
“No.”
“I said leave!”
I inhaled shakily, my lips trembling when I left the room. Guilt dipped my stomach. I never found out what was wrong or why he was in pain, but I couldn’t be his cure, his distraction. I wandered back to my room, feeling guiltier than ever. I had hoped to approach the subject of the mer king and the Objects of Kai, but every time I was alone with him, I couldn’t think straight.
How could I have kissed another when I was with Cedric? I shouldn’t have been thinking about anyone else but him.
I mentally kicked myself; how could I be so stupid to put myself in that position? The main question that lingered, however, was how did I know how to find him?
My headache splintered by the time I reached my door.
“Aren’t I lucky?”
I jumped, placing my hand on my chest. “You frightened me.”
“I was hoping I’d find you awake.” Cedric grinned, wearing a long, white night robe and holding a candle on a gold holder. “It’s hard to sleep here.”
I didn’t want to mention the nightmares. I know he’d touched on helping my anxiety before, but I couldn’t face it yet. It was too much. “Yeah, it’s so cold.”
His stared at me with scrutinizing eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I snapped too quickly and softened my tone. He knew I was lying. “I’ve been on edge. Thinking about Edgar and the inevitably of us on a battlefield somewhere, somehow.” Which was true, but not the only thing bothering me.
He brushed the hair out of my face. “You look terrified.” Wrapping his arms around me, he kissed my temple. My stomach hurt even more. I was a bad person. The worst.
The Fate of Crowns: The Complete Trilogy: A YA Epic Fantasy Boxset Page 45