“One of us had to do it. He buried them in the flowerbeds in a part of the gardens where no one goes. How long do you think it would it have taken for someone to find them?”
I paused. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Did you want Aqugar to make good on his threats?”
“You didn’t need to go so hard.”
He shook his head. “I held back. I wanted to go harder.”
My forehead wrinkled. “Why do you always choose violence?” I went to walk away, tears falling down my cheeks, but he grabbed me before I reached the door, turning me to face him.
“I did it to protect your kingdom too. I did it for you.”
“No, you did it for you. I hate you.” I balled my fists at my side again, and tears streamed down my cheeks. “I had it handled. You hurt the only person who ever cared about me.”
He inhaled slowly, a laugh of disbelief passing his lips. “The only one?” he said, as if he hadn’t heard me right.
My lips parted. I don’t know why I said it. Anger? Curiousness of his reaction?
“Don’t you see what you’ve done to me?” His gaze narrowed. “There is reason to Lucien’s anger. He thinks my heart controls my head. He’s not wrong. I put Niferum at risk for you.”
“You did what was right for your kingdom,” I said in a small voice.
“No.” He shook his head. “I didn’t, and deep down, you know that. They had the Sword. I could have been killed. I went after your cousin and cut off his head so you wouldn’t have to.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“It’s why I’m in pain,” he said. “The curse is tearing me apart, more so when I’m with you. Because, Winter, as impossible as it may be, I’m in love with you.”
SEVENTEEN
I parted my lips, but I couldn’t find the words. I had secretly wanted to hear those words for so long, but I never thought I would.
“How?”
“I don’t know.” He carefully watched my reaction, regarding every move I made. I sat on the edge of the bed, blowing out a tense breath.
He was unrelenting and unforgiving in saying it, and a part of me knew he felt that way, but the curse had always been the barrier I could rely on to choose otherwise. Apparently, it didn’t even matter anymore.
I inhaled deeply. My mind was blank. After everything, I couldn’t deny it, deny him, and I hated him for making me feel this way when he’d hurt Cedric. Even Cedric knew I’d choose Blaise over him. Was it so obvious to everyone but me?
Anticipation rippled between us. “I should have told you before, when I first knew.” He crouched until he was face-to-face with me on the side of the bed. “I’m not a good man, love. I’m not always going to do the right thing or make decisions you agree with, but I will always, and I mean always, put you first.”
My heart hammered. As I gazed into his eyes, everything slowed around us. His breath was minty. He smelled like smoked spice, from the party. Before I could say anything back, his lips were on mine, stealing my next breath.
I spread my fingers against his chest. His heart raced under my touch. We crumpled into each other. I couldn’t think about anything other than the feel of him against me. He deepened the kiss, stroking his tongue against mine. I wrapped my legs around him, and he tangled his hands into my hair.
He pushed me onto the bed, his fingers dancing down my hip. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want you,” I said against his lips. “I’m yours, Blaise. I always was.”
***
I woke up against him. The sheets stuck to my skin, and my mind raced. I couldn’t help but smile as I relished his warmth, the feel of his skin against mine. He looked so peaceful when asleep. Closing my eyes, I almost forgot where I was.
My hands shot to my mouth as a gasp escaped my lips. I jolted out of his arms. “No, no, no, no.”
He stretched his arms out, watching me rush around. A smirk played on his lips. “Morning.”
“I need to get back to my chambers.” I rubbed my forehead. “They’ll have noticed I’ve gone.” Sun poured through the cracks of the deep-purple drapes. “If they see me leave here.” I gathered my dress in my arms.
He jumped out of bed and rushed to me. “You forget who you are.”
“It’s precisely because I know who I am that I’m panicking.”
“Winter.” He let out a low chuckle. “What can they do if you’re found here? Remove you as queen?”
I shook my head. “They will gossip. The lords will be angry.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners. “They’re already mad. Everyone talks anyway. At least now they have a reason to.” He kissed the side of my neck, sending tingles down my spine.
“Stop,” I said halfheartedly.
“I meant what I said last night.” He ran his fingers down my arm and entwined his fingers with mine. I wanted to run my hands through his black curls and let the day slip away in his arms. He looked even more handsome without styling his hair… or wearing one of his tunics, pants, and boots. “Love?”
The corner of his lip twitched, and something flashed in his eyes. It was brief, but I saw the pain behind them when he spoke.
“Are you sure it’s… love?” I asked, squeezing his fingers. I quickly remembered what those hands had done yesterday. “I’m still mad at you for hurting Cedric.”
He gave me a nonchalant smirk. “Someone had to do it. Like I said, I won’t always do things you like, but I will put you first, and I did.”
“It wasn’t right.”
“I had no choice.”
I shook my head. “We all have a choice.”
“He healed… in the end,” he said. “We have the Sword and Dagger. We only need the Amulet, which I’ve already sent my men to Berovia to retrieve.”
“Unless Cedric arrives home first and tells them you know where it is.”
“He won’t.”
I scoffed. “How can you be so sure?”
“I ensured it. The men who are taking him home will be taking a little detour, giving my men enough time to retrieve the Amulet.”
I shook my head. “You’re unbelievable.”
He let out a low chuckle. “Come on. Put your dress on before I decide not to let you leave this room,” he joked and looked at the door.
“How will I get out of here?”
“Through the door, love.”
I rolled my eyes. “I meant without being seen.”
“Unless you want to climb out the window, which I wouldn’t recommend, especially in those shoes, then there is only one option.”
My anxiety returned, mixed with dread. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I already had the lords and Vahaga onto me about everything little thing I did. Blaise pulled me close and held his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing deeply but slowly.
“Everything will be fine. I promise. I’ll walk out with you, and if anyone says anything to you, you look them in the eye and smile. Understand? Don’t let anyone treat you like you’re less than them.”
We got dressed, and I held my breath as we walked out of his room. His men didn’t bat an eyelash, whereas my guards stared for far too long. With one look in their direction, they turned their heads to face forward.
A noble lady with her friend passed. Both turned toward each other and whispered once they’d passed. “Great.” I gritted my teeth. “The entire court shall know by this afternoon.”
“Let’s give them something better to talk about then.”
I gave him a look. “What possible news could overshadow the scandal of me spending the night in your room and walking out wearing the same dress I’d worn at the ball last night?”
“An official peace treaty. It’s been written up, and the meeting is this morning.”
“You didn’t think to tell me?” I asked in disbelief.
“You were to be informed yesterday, but after you came to my room, I got a little distracted.” He teased his fingers along mine. “I told t
hem you’d make space.”
I blew out a long breath, steadying my balance. We walked through the large corridors and passed the arches leading out to the courtyard. Powdered light illuminated the ancient stone and hanging red-and-gold banners.
“I didn’t have much choice.” I half smiled. “I must dress first.” I had hoped to go through the books from the archives, but a peace treaty came first.
“Go. I’ll meet you there, and, Winter…” He tugged my hand as I went to walk away, spinning me around. “I love you.”
My cheeks flushed with heat. My next breath caught in my throat. There were people around, but a part of me cared less and less the more I was with him. Still, I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I…”
“Go.” He let go of my fingers. “It’s okay.”
I didn’t know why I couldn’t say it back. I felt it, but fear clutched onto those three words with might. As if they might destroy me.
I hurried back to my room. I felt a little lightheaded when I thought about last night… and him. He loved me. He’d said so. I wanted to hate him for hurting Cedric, for sending him away, but I couldn’t.
Despite what Cedric had done, he was still a good man. I’d been angry before, but I felt sad. I licked my lips. As upset as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to hate Blaise. Not really. Every part of my being wanted him. It had for the longest time, but the thought of being with him terrified me—because of who I was when I was with him. It wasn’t comfortable, like it had been with Cedric. Blaise challenged me. He dared me to love the broken, darkest parts of myself and embrace them. He didn’t fear things like I did, and I’d always admired those traits, but he was dangerous at times. Selfish. He’d proven it time and time again.
Except with me.
I’d fallen in love with the king who couldn’t love. He was in pain loving me back. It was all such a mess. I couldn’t stop smiling and felt like an idiot as I grinned to myself while I walked the hallways.
I spotted Marissa before I reached my room. She was with Nissa, and they both looked pleased with themselves. “I see the fashion here is spreading.” I approved, noticing Nissa’s Gothic dress. It was beaded on the bodice, and black-and-dark-blue ribbons covered the skirts. Marissa didn’t adopt the dark fae fashion, but she was wearing her hair down, a rare occurrence, and wore makeup for the first time I knew of. The ball had had more of an impact than I could have imagined. I’d have to thank Florence for it when I next saw her, perhaps even give her a title. She’d love that.
“Your Majesty.” Marissa curtseyed, and Nissa followed suit. “We have news.”
I nodded and motioned them to follow. They fell in step, and we hurried to my room. Decorations were being hung everywhere, ready for my coronation tomorrow.
Nissa fawned around us. “We are ever so excited for tomorrow.”
Marissa grinned in agreement. “So many people will be arriving.”
Once there, I called to a maid to bring us all tea, and we sat in front of the fireplace. Nissa’s bright-green eyes glistened from the sun shining through the open drapes behind my bed. She looked me up and down, then smirked. I could see she knew. Marissa didn’t look any the wiser, or if she did, she didn’t show it.
“How is King Blaise?” Nissa asked, her expression lighting up.
“Well, I would imagine.” I gave her a look of warning before changing the subject. She was observant. I’d give her that. “What news do you have for me?”
Nissa leaned forward. “Lord Abor has been paying for relations with women,” she said, scandal in her gaze, and Marissa’s face lit up. “With the fae. Since they arrived. Three of them in two days.” Her fingers spread over her knees. “His wife doesn’t know.”
The corner of my lip lifted. “I’m sure he wants to keep it that way too.”
Nissa shook her head. “He also has no plans on giving any more coin to the cause.” Her expression darkened. “Your cause.”
Marissa chimed in. “One of the faeries, Mai, told us. He’d had too much liquor last night, and we persuaded her to tell us anything she knew.”
“He doesn’t want the soldiers to get anything from the Crown. He thinks they’ll revolt if they don’t. He told Mai that monarchs could always be changed, especially if the people decided it. Even by force.”
I clicked my tongue. “Treason.” My heart raced, and my palms were sweaty. I reined in my anger as best I could, but my face was red, my stare pointed. “I knew he didn’t like me, but to suggest this? I was anointed by the ancestors to be queen.”
“He’s an idiot,” Nissa said simply. Her dark eyebrows furrowed. “He always has been. But hearsay alone won’t hold up in court.”
I was about to say that, but she’d beaten me to it. Her hungry stare told me she was on my side. Because I was the winning side. “You’re correct, but I can spook him with the knowledge. It’s enough to get him to change his vote,” I explained. “If time were on our side, I would play the long game and have Mai continue to lie with him and divulge his secrets, gather evidence, but there is a vote, one where forces will soon go to Berovia, and I am powerless to change it.”
“At least you have leverage now.” Nissa smirked.
“Oh.” Marissa almost jumped out of her chair. “What we discussed before, they’re ready for you.”
Ah, the books had been brought in. “Thank you.”
Nissa leaned forward. “There’s something else you should know too.”
I leaned forward. The maid knocked on the door and hurried inside, holding a silver tray with our teas. Leaving behind loose tea, strainers, and a pot of steaming water, she left us alone.
Nissa continued as Marissa poured herself a lemon tea. “The high priest has been going to secret meetings and asking questions about when you were in Berovia.”
I pressed my lips together, catching my panicked gasp before it passed my lips. If he was hunting for information about Berovia and taking meetings in secret, it could only mean one thing: he knew I was lying. He suspected foul play, and if he found out the truth, I’d die for it.
EIGHTEEN
We’d been in the meeting for several hours. Blaise glanced in my direction, amusement on his features. “The mugroot will be available for three coins.”
“Gold?” Abor scoffed. “There’s no way, unless you’re planning on shipping us a barrel of it.”
“It’s less than half the cost it was before.”
Gregoir interrupted. “Extortion.”
“There is another way around this,” Blaise said. We’d gone over so many details, my brain had begun to mush them all together. Their words faded as they spoke. My headaches had returned, and the potion was wearing off. It was taking a toll on me. “With it, we could merge both kingdoms.” I caught the tail end of their conversation.
Bleary-eyed, I nodded at the maid to bring me a drink. It was only when I turned my head did I notice them all looking at me. I blinked a few times. I didn’t want them to know I had stopped paying attention. I was trying, but the headaches were searing. “Yes.”
Blaise’s lips parted. “Yes?”
I didn’t know what I’d agreed to. “Uh.”
“We’ve been here before.” My cousin Louis glared at me. “It didn’t go too well.”
I had no idea what any of them were talking about but hoped someone would clue me in without knowing.
“A marriage,” Abor said slowly. “To a faery.”
Blaise smirked. “Had it not been King Amos who approved of the wedding before?”
My eyes widened. Wedding? None of them could admit they’d known about the plot against Niferum without incriminating themselves. Louis gritted his teeth, and Gregoir even balled a fist.
Lord Edur, the only one I liked, looked from me to Blaise. “It would show unity.”
“What says you, Majesty?” Vahaga finally said, his stony expression turned curious. One of his thin eyebrows hooked upward. “Will you be willing to marry the king?”
I swallowed thickly;
my mouth was dry. Where was the maid with my tea? My gaze flitted from Vahaga to Lord Abor, then Blaise. Fury laced my stare.
“We will adjourn.” I rolled my shoulders back, not looking away from Blaise. “I will talk with my advisors and respond to your proposal shortly. In the meantime, everything else in the treaty looks good, and we will continue from there.” I turned my attention to Vahaga. “My coronation is tomorrow, and I have much to do.”
Blaise gave me a look across the rectangular table. “May I have a word with you in private?”
“No.” A flurry of emotions circled inside me. For him to put that on me, in the middle of a peace treaty surrounded by my lords, was unfair. “Lord Abor, however, I do require a private audience with you. If you would come to my office.”
“Your Majesty… I have a—”
“It wasn’t a request,” I snapped as I stood, then left the room.
***
A fair-haired guard stepped inside my office. “Lord Abor, Your Majesty.”
I nodded, and the doors opened fully. Lord Abor walked in. His forehead wrinkled as he looked me up and down, then took a seat in front of my desk.
“I have many fond memories of this place.” He stared at the armchairs and table, where I imagined he and my father spent many nights playing chess or cards. “I do miss the king.”
“Former king,” I replied, folding my hands together. “I shall not keep you. I have just one matter to discuss.”
His gaze snapped back to mine. “What would that be, Majesty?”
“Whispers are circling, Lord Abor, about your indiscretions.” I clicked my tongue. “Now. Now. For all your talk of hating the fae…” I cocked my head to the right, enjoying myself far too much. “You sure do enjoy sleeping with them.”
A sheen of saliva caught on his bottom lip. He wiped it, and his nostrils flared. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, My Queen.” He said the words as if they burned his mouth. “But you’ve been misled. You know how rumors are. Just rumors, luckily for us both. Else we’d be led to believe you actually slept in the faery king’s chambers without marriage.”
The Fate of Crowns: The Complete Trilogy: A YA Epic Fantasy Boxset Page 67