by Stella Clark
“You can’t miss it,” the shorter one added. “Turn there and go around the corner. Everyone smells it before they arrive. Burning metal and the horses, I mean.” Her cheeks flushed. “Nathaniel can help you. He’s the one with straw-colored hair.”
Emma nodded, feeling she was missing part of their story. Their faces only said so much. The post office had burned down. Her grip on her bag tightened as the women excused themselves. What had happened? Emma began to walk where they directed. She was in Nebraska, and she needed to find her fiancé.
Chapter Four
When he tallied up the numbers, Jay didn’t like what he saw. Rubbing his forehead, he double-checked and triple-checked. He must have gone wrong somewhere. But numbers had never been his area of expertise. Working with his hands was so much easier. If only Thomas was still there to help him with the paperwork.
Jay gritted his teeth. It had only been two weeks, but every moment was open to reminders. Every loss hurt in its own way and he worried that this one would ruin him for good. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to pull himself together.
“Jay Jay!”
He jerked as Slade came running over. “Hello!” Jay managed a smile as he spun the boy around, who laughed with delight before they sat down. “And where have you been?” Jay poked him on the nose.
“Horses,” Slade beamed. “I want to ride horses.”
The boy always wanted fun. Jay didn’t blame him. But it was exhausting. How had Thomas been a single parent and hard worker? He had run the post office and raised his two children. Jay had run his blacksmith shop and the livery stables. His brother had never complained, and he wondered how he had survived.
“Not now.” Jay shook his head, glancing back at the numbers.
If Thomas had still been around, they could talk. But Jay was alone. He didn’t know what to do or how to do anything anymore. Especially with the kids. Being an uncle was easy, but he had to figure out how to feed them, when to wash them, and how to keep them busy. Those efforts didn’t even count the income he needed to support all three of them.
A knock at the door caught his attention. “Come in,” Jay called, and Nathaniel stuck his head in the room.
“Howdy. I have three things. First, your girl is crying in the stables. Second, we’re low on sugar cubes. And third, can you pay me before tomorrow?”
Jay took the pencil from Slade. “Yes, I think I can. I’m working out the final numbers … wait, my girl? Amber?” He jumped up. “Where?”
He followed Nathaniel’s gesture across the shops and through the alley into the stables. Horses huffed quietly, the loudest sound only that of people passing on the street. Jay let Slade down as he glanced around. Where had Amber run to?
“I want horses.”
Pushing the boy’s hand down, Jay shook his head. “Let’s find Amber, okay? Where’s your sister? Amber?”
Too many pens and too many stalls. One by one they looked through them, trying to find the familiar little girl with soft-colored hair. It wasn’t until they checked the final stall, the large one sectioned off for the goats and donkeys, that Jay found her.
“Amber!” Jay sighed in relief. He touched the girl’s shoulder as she curled up in the hay. “Amber, are you hurt? What’s wrong?” Checking her for damage or blood, he furrowed his brow. He couldn’t see anything broken.
Sniffing, Amber peeked an eye open. “They said Papa was dumb.”
“What?” Jay tensed and looked around. “Who said that?”
She stuck out her bottom lip. “Is Papa really never coming home?”
Nathaniel called out, “Jay, are you still here?”
Jay gritted his teeth as he pulled Slade back from the horses. “Not now,” he called over to Nathaniel and then turned back to Amber, trying not to feel overwhelmed. Tugging on Slade’s shirt, he put his other hand on the girl to get her up. “Papa … Papa can’t come home. Remember? We talked about this. He’s with God. God needed him more than we did, and …”
But he couldn’t remember anything else because that just didn’t feel true. Looking at his full arms and hearing Nathaniel call him, Jay couldn’t see how anyone could need Thomas more than he did.
“Jay?”
“Just a minute,” he called, groaning as Slade protested. The boy was attempting to take off his shirt to escape. Jay needed to get the boy clothed and Amber out of the stall since they had three goats expected that evening. “Amber? Please. Papa can’t … Thomas is gone. But he’s not really gone. He’s always with us. Remember what the preacher said? He’s always in our hearts.”
Amber sniffed. “But I want him here. I don’t want him in my heart. I want my papa.”
“I know,” Jay agreed miserably. “I want him too. I’d do anything to bring him here, but … but I can’t, Amber. I’m sorry.” He paused and tugged on her arm lightly. “Can you get up, please? You don’t have to play with anyone who says something mean. But I need you out of here now for the goats.”
That caught Slade’s attention. He turned and ran into Jay’s arms, knocking him hard in the chin. Jay winced, catching the boy so they didn’t fall. “Oof,” he managed. “Thanks, Slade.”
“I want goats,” the boy chattered. “Can I ride goats?”
Nathaniel’s head popped up over the stall. “Jay? There’s a woman here. Just wants you. I think she’s a customer? I don’t recognize her.”
What? Oh, I … all right. All right, Nathaniel, thank you … I’ll be there in a minute.” Jay considered asking him to watch the kids, but he knew that was too much. Standing up, he patted Slade on the back and took a deep breath.
“Goats?” Slade pouted.
“No goats,” Jay shook his head. “Maybe tomorrow. Amber, can you please watch your brother? I have to work.” She nodded obediently. Slade whimpered, but Jay didn’t have time for that. He didn’t have time for a lot of things. If he could, later that night he’d try to make it up to the kids. Life was hard and he didn’t want to make it harder for them.
He took a deep breath and followed after Nathaniel, who pointed toward his forge. Jay rubbed his hands, wishing the ink and the soot weren’t so hard to wash off. The job he had definitely qualified for the chance to always look like a mess. No matter how much he washed, it seemed like there was always dirt somewhere.
When he looked up, Jay found an unfamiliar woman standing in front of his blacksmith shop. He stopped, wondering who she was. Her gaze wandered. What did she need? Nathaniel would have mentioned if she had a horse. Jay noticed the carpetbag in her hands and his curiosity piqued.
“Good afternoon,” he offered, startling her. Jay offered a sheepish and polite smile. “I’m the owner. You wanted to see me?”
She inhaled, offering a smile. The woman studied him for a heartbeat before asking softly, “Mr. Marsh? I’m Emma. Emma Redmond? I just made it into town.”
Chapter Five
Her heart pounded as she waited for him to react. Searching her eyes, she hoped he wasn’t disappointed. It was a warm day and she felt sweat begin to drop down her forehead. She knew she didn’t look her best, but she had tried.
Yet Mr. Marsh didn’t do anything. There was no sign of recognition as he rubbed his hands. “Miss Redmond. Were we expecting you?”
She couldn’t stop her mouth from dropping open. She didn’t have it wrong, did she? Frantically, Emma tried to understand if she had missed something. Rethinking the letters in her mind, she felt certain she was where she was supposed to be. “Yes, I mean I … I came from Chicago,” she volunteered awkwardly. “From … from the Matrimonial Times? We’ve been writing letters for months.”
The man took another step forward. “Isn’t that a bride magazine? Are you sure you’re looking for Mr. Marsh?”
“Yes,” Emma nodded. “Yes, Thomas Marsh. My intended, that … isn’t that you?”
When she said that name, his face paled. Emma hesitated, wondering if something was wrong. Did it have to do with the post office? Surely whatever it was, they c
ould work it out together. After all, she had come from Chicago to be with him in Nebraska.
“I, you, I’m sorry, I …” he stammered. “That is, actually, my brother. I’m Jay. Jay Marsh.”
Her eyes widened, her cheeks turning pink over her mistake. He had mentioned a brother, hadn’t he? Cheeks flushed as she nodded. “Oh, I-I didn’t realize … I apologize. I just assumed when I asked for Mr. Marsh … Is he here? I arrived on the last stagecoach,” she added. Emma knew she didn’t look like much now, but Thomas Marsh just had to give her a chance.
In his next words, her hope disappeared. “I … I don’t know how to tell you this,” Jay’s voice cracked. “But Thomas died. Two weeks ago.”
Emma dropped the carpetbag. Her smile faded as she searched the man’s face for any lies. But there was nothing cruel about him. All she saw was pain, the kind she was beginning to feel inside the tightening of her chest.
“I …” she tried to think. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Nodding slowly, Jay stared at his hands. It wasn’t difficult to imagine the pain. She had lost family before, and her heart went out to him. Though her heart ached, it was for a man she had never met. To lose a brother, Jay had to endure so much. “Thank you.”
For a minute they were quiet. Neither of them had the courage to look up. Emma felt a lump in her throat as it began to dawn on her that she didn’t know what to do now. With Mr. Thomas Marsh was gone, what was she to do?
Jay inhaled deeply, his entire body heaving with the effort. “I apologize. I’m being impolite. What was your name again?” He scratched his head, ruffling his hair so it went every direction.
She tidied her skirts. “I—Emma. Miss Emma Redmond.” She wanted to say something more, but her voice failed her. There wasn’t much else she could say.
“You were going to marry my brother?”
Emma nodded slowly. “Yes, I … well here. I have proof,” she offered, uncertain if he cared. Grabbing her purse, she brought out the bundle of letters. “This—he wrote me these letters, you see.”
The man accepted the offering. “Yes,” Jay murmured, studying them curiously. “That’s his handwriting. May I …”
They were polite letters, though she wouldn’t call them love letters. “Please,” Emma nodded. She didn’t know what else to do. She shifted where she stood and swallowed. Perhaps the letters could bring him some form of comfort. Clasping her hands together, she waited as he rifled through them.
“I didn’t know,” Jay confessed, pausing after he was two letters in. “I had no idea. I mean, he said there was something he wanted to talk about, but I thought … I thought it would be about something else. He was trying to buy farmland, so I thought …” his voice kept failing him. The man returned the letters. “I’m sorry; I wish I had known.”
She shook her head, reorganizing the papers. “I’m sure he wanted to wait for the perfect moment. I … I’m only sorry you’ve lost him. A marriage of convenience is a small thing to lose compared to family.”
“Any loss is still a loss,” he volunteered.
Nodding, her eyes skirted around the shop. A post office should have been much safer than a place like this. As her stomach clenched, Emma found herself wondering. “Do you mind … can you tell me? What happened to Thomas?”
He took a step back to lean against his table. It was a blacksmith shop, a place she had never explored before. Everything looked so strange and dangerous. Hot and sharp. But the large man looked right at home with the dark streaks against his bare forearms and wrinkled clothes. It matched his dark hair and eyes.
“My brother …” he hesitated. “Thomas was not sick. He was the picture of health, really. But it’s been a dry summer, you see, and we’ve already had a brushfire or two. We don’t know how it happened. Some hay bales caught fire on a wagon. The horses ran, sideswiping the post office.
“Thomas was the only one there.” Her hand covered her mouth, hating what she could imagine. A knot formed in her stomach. The confusion, the fear, the heat. Jay continued softly, carrying on though it had to have pained him. “It was an old building. Everything collapsed. We tried to get to him, but it was too hot. I told him to fix the straw roof before, I told him that, but … we couldn’t get to him until we put out the flames. By then, it was too late.”
She swallowed hard, wondering if she was supposed to feel better. Asking him had been a cruel request and Emma realized her mistake now. A pit in her stomach began to grow, but she didn’t know what to do.
“I … I’m sorry,” Emma offered again as she glanced down at the letters in her hands. “I can’t imagine the pain of—of losing a brother. It’s tragic. Would … would you like these?” She offered the papers back, taking a step forward to him. “Since your brother wrote them …”
Jay shook his head. “No. No, they’re yours. Do what you like with them.” He hesitantly glanced her way. “What will you do now?”
It was a question she was trying to avoid. Emma took a moment to fold the letters and put them back in her purse. Finally, she shared a grim smile. “I’m not quite certain.” She couldn’t have stayed in Chicago, but had it been a mistake to come here? Emma swallowed. “I suppose I can see if—if anyone needs any work done, or perhaps I’ll try to take the next stagecoach … somewhere.”
Chapter Six
The young woman tried to smile. It was a pretty smile. In her eyes, he could see the same uncertainty that he had felt lately. Jay realized how strange it must be, coming to a strange place to marry a stranger, only for him to not be there. The pain in his heart faded the more he studied her.
Thomas had decided to remarry. They had discussed the idea before, and Jay knew his brother was growing more open to the idea. Thomas’s wife had passed away in childbirth, after all. They hadn’t wanted to lose each other. It was different for Jay, whose wife had left him before her own sudden passing.
Footsteps sounded behind them. “Jay? The goats arrived early.” Nathaniel called from outside. “Should I put them up?”
Right, there was still work to do. Jay turned toward the door. “Can they wait? We haven’t removed the hay.”
“Yeah, uh … those kids are playing in the hay now.” Nathaniel stepped forward hesitantly, giving him a reluctant smile.
Jay closed his eyes. Goats, hay, Amber, Slade, horses, horseshoes, fire, nails, Nathaniel, money. There was so much to worry about. He had to get back to work, but he hated to leave Miss Redmond like this. He had so much work that he didn’t know if he was supposed to help her or desert her. Jay didn’t know how to do either. She had come to town to be a wife, but now her husband-to-be was gone.
The concept of taking on a wife made Jay uncomfortable even if Thomas had felt ready. But his brother had always been the better of the two of them. Faster, smarter, kinder, just better.
An idea came to mind. One that Jay immediately dismissed and then reconsidered. It was practically laughable. He glanced at the woman. She looked sober now, hesitant. He thought again of the words his brother had offered her. A marriage of convenience. That meant little love, right?
“Jay?” Nathaniel asked, still waiting on him. “What do you want me to do?”
He didn’t know. The thoughts in his head were swirling quickly and loudly as he tried to think. But he knew he couldn’t waste too much time in his head. First, Nathaniel. “Tell Amber and Slade to—” Jay didn’t have to finish as the two kids ran in, squealing and covered in hay.
“He pushed me, he pushed me,” Amber called. “He pushed!”
“No,” Slade was crying. “No, no, no, no, no!”
They ran in circles around Jay until he managed to grab them each by a hand. Trying to keep them from hitting each other, he glanced back to his only employee. “Move the hay into the next stall. Then you can put the goats in,” he told Nathaniel, who left to obey.
The children started to calm down as he kept them apart. But there was still Miss Redmond. Did he dare follow through with his strange
idea? Jay’s hands were full, he was dirty, and he knew he was not his brother. But he also knew he couldn’t do all of this on his own.
“Miss Redmond,” he swallowed and prayed for God’s strength. “Thomas is gone, so you’re not bound here or to anyone. I’m here though, and so are Amber and Slade. If you’re still … if you’d still like a family, I … I’ll marry you.” The words felt sour in his mouth, but he forced them out. “A—a marriage of convenience. With the other Marsh?”
It wasn’t a great offer. There was little he had to give. Not his heart and not money, just two loveable although occasionally difficult children plus a lot of work. He swallowed hard, waiting to see what she thought.
“I …” her eyes fell upon the children. Having noticed a stranger in their presence, the two had fallen quiet as they wrapped themselves around his legs. Just as he was going to speak up, Miss Redmond turned back to him. “Yes.” She offered a shy smile. “I’ve come all this way, after all. If you’ll have me, then I will marry you.”
He couldn’t explain the suddenly thick knot inside his chest. Jay took a step back, leaning against his work table for support. The kids were quiet as they stared. Everyone was staring at him. At least Nathaniel had left, Jay thought to himself.
Only then did he realize that the next move was up to him. “Right.” Jay looked back at her. “Thank you. I mean, good. We can … I guess we should get married?” It came out as a question because he didn’t know about the timing. He’d proposed to his first wife and married her a month later. This situation seemed a little more dire, however.
“I suppose,” his bride-to-be volunteered. She took a step forward before gingerly setting her bag on the table beside him. They were so close that he could touch her. But no, Jay reminded himself. He didn’t want another wife, nor she a husband. “If you have a moment,” she continued, “we could see if your preacher is available?”