by Jamie Dallas
Evan followed her into the main event space. “I just wanted to apologize.”
She gave him a tight smile. Even after their conversation the other morning, she was still wary. Until she saw his wide blue eyes.
“I messed up.” He ran his hand through his hair and gave a short, bitter laugh. “I thought about what you said, about how appearances had become so important that I stopped seeing you.”
“I—”
“Please, let me finish. I just wanted to say that you were right. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry about what happened, and I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you.”
The sharp needle-point stabs in her ribs that she’d been holding since her wedding day ebbed. “Thanks, Evan. I apologize too. I should have spoken up.”
Evan shook his head. “No, I messed up. I was so caught up in appearances, in trying to please my family, that I stopped seeing you and thinking about you. I did love you. You are special. I just was doing a shitty job of showing it.”
She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Honestly, I think it worked out for both of us. We were never meant to be together.”
And she was glad to finally have this chapter closed.
Evan opened his arms and she stepped into them.
“Thanks for dealing with me,” he said against her shoulder. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, suddenly feeling a whole lot better. She could feel Jace’s eyes on her as she pulled away from her ex, and it took all her self-control to not look over.
Evan said goodbye, and minutes later, she was alone with Jace. She busied herself gathering up brochures, keeping her back carefully toward him.
“You didn’t have to do this,” he said.
“I did.” She pulled a box from under the table to place the brochures and remaining glasses in.
She sensed rather than heard him move closer.
“Hailey.” He reached around her and pushed the box away.
“What?” Placing her hands on her hips, she turned toward him.
Big mistake. The man was gorgeous up close. Breathtaking. His eyes drank her in like he had been thirsting for her for years.
It was too much.
“Is there anything else you need? I did my job. The launch is over.” She pressed her shaking fingers against her belly.
“I’ve missed you.” Jace pressed his lips together, but his eyes never left hers.
The three little words stuck like barbs in her chest. “You’ve missed me?”
He nodded.
“Why?”
That one simple question must have caught him off guard. He took a single step back and cleared his throat. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
It was time to face what she needed. After her years with Evan, she wasn’t going to wait for another man to finally see her as well. No matter how much she wanted more from Jace, she knew he couldn’t give it.
She gathered leftover glasses from the table and placed them in the box. “It’s only been a few days. I’m sure you’ll move on soon enough.”
“I—”
“Go home, Jace. I think this has played out long enough.”
She wanted him to deny her words, to fight back, to say something. Anything.
“Hailey, I know you want more, and I wish I could give it to you. But I can’t.”
She closed her eyes and nodded. It was time to accept the truth. If she wanted to be happy, she would have to find her happiness somewhere else.
Chapter Fourteen
“Jace, are you okay?” Mia set her fork down and peered at him over her glasses.
He hated when she did that. It felt like she could read every thought on his mind.
“I’m fine.”
Maybe visiting Aunt Mia wasn’t the best idea, but there’d been no way he could spend another second in his condo. He missed the colors, the flowers, the dishes in the sink. Hailey’s presence. The monochrome only reminded him of how alone he was.
“How’s Hailey?” His aunt lifted a brow.
Aunt Mia, in true form, was heading right straight for the meat of the matter.
“Nice try. I know what you’re doing.”
She straightened in her chair. “I’m only curious.”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t know how she’s doing.” Jace pushed his food away and grabbed his beer. Normally his aunt’s lasagna was enough to make him devour his whole plate. Today, it may as well have been cardboard. “She headed back to San Francisco a week ago, and I haven’t heard from her since.”
Each day he picked up the phone to call or text, and every time, he talked himself out of it.
“She left?” His aunt raised her dark eyebrows. “I thought you two were doing well.”
“Apparently we weren’t.”
“Apparently,” Mia muttered, her blue gaze assessing him carefully. “The rings under your eyes are so dark, someone would think you got in a bar fight.”
That’s because he was barely sleeping. Every morning, he’d get out of bed, exhausted and lonely, and tell himself everything was okay. By the evening, he was the jerk who crawled back into bed alone knowing he’d screwed up royally.
The pillow didn’t even smell like her anymore.
“You should see the other guy.” He grabbed their plates and took them to the kitchen sink. Doing dishes was one of those chores he didn’t mind. It helped clear his thinking.
Behind him, Aunt Mia’s chair legs slid across the smooth hardwood, and her steps followed him into the room. She didn’t say anything as she grabbed a clean dish towel and started drying. It brought him back to when he was a kid, and they would do chores as a team.
They worked in silence until the dishes were done. He paced around the kitchen, putting things away until there was nothing left to clean or set aside.
It wasn’t until he went into the living room and grabbed her guitar that she spoke again.
He settled onto the faded blue couch and picked the chords to the first song that came to mind.
“I haven’t heard you play that song in years,” Mia said as she tossed a pillow aside to sit near him.
“It’s been a while,” he agreed, but it wasn’t so long ago that his fingers forgot the notes and beats. It was all second nature by now.
“It was the first song you learned how to play on your own.”
“I remember.” It was the one song that expressed his loss all those years ago. It seemed to reach deep within and soothe those raw feelings simmering below the surface.
Funny how those feelings were still there, but in a different way. They felt worn smooth. Old. Like a scar you looked at that no longer hurt.
“So, what did you do?” Mia asked.
He didn’t need to clarify what she meant. Aunt Mia was still on the issue with Hailey.
“I didn’t do anything.”
Aunt Mia patted his knee. “I highly doubt that.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What makes you think I did something wrong?”
“Call it a hunch. I did raise you after all.” Mia picked an invisible piece of lint off the couch. “That woman is in love with you, you know.”
Not was in love with him, is. Like nothing had changed since Hailey had walked out.
“She told me as much.”
Aunt Mia smiled, and the corners of her eyes crinkled. “That’s great news. So, what did you say to mess it up?”
“Again, why do you think it was me?”
Aunt Mia shook her head, and her gaze softened. “Because ever since you were a little boy, after your mother left, you’ve pushed people away.” She squeezed his shoulder. “And something tells me you did the same thing to Hailey.”
“I wonder why,” he said. He picked out a sad melody on the guitar. After a minute, he added, “I didn’t say it back to her.”
“Hmm. Do you love her?”
He missed a chord.
Did he love her? Of course, he loved her. That wasn’t the problem. W
hat happened after he built a whole life with her, and she got tired of it?
He looked around the living room’s familiar surroundings and photos as he rolled the question over in his mind, trying to figure out the right answer to his aunt’s question so she’d leave it alone. His eyes landed on a photo that he hadn’t looked at in ages. The one of him in the leaf pile.
He smiled at the memory. He could still feel the crunch of the leaves against his jacketed back. The cool fall air had nipped at his face, and he had laughed until his stomach hurt. It was the first time he had felt free since his mother left. And Mia had somehow captured that moment.
Aunt Mia had always been there for him.
He shifted his gaze back to the woman who raised him and nodded. A very tiny stiff nod. “I love her.”
“Then why not tell her?”
“Because I have nothing to offer her. Sun Tech is being sold. I’m starting over. She doesn’t want to get messed up with that.”
He dropped his head back down to his guitar, avoiding his aunt’s assessing gaze.
“Is that really the reason?”
“And I’ll always wonder how long until she wants out.” There it was, his biggest fear.
“Ah, I see.” Aunt Mia was serious. “I loved raising you. You’ll always be my son, and when I look at you, I see the man I brought up. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. But even as I say that, I wish I could change your past and make your family whole for you.”
“You’re family enough for me.” Jace set the pick down on his lap and wrapped an arm around his aunt.
“But your parents made you wary of love. I don’t blame you. Not one bit. But it hurts me to see you hurt yourself.” Her voice was sad and soft and more painful than the song he had just finished.
He tensed. “I’m not hurting myself. I’m avoiding the hurt.”
“Is that so?”
He nodded.
Aunt Mia was not deterred. “And tell me, how is that working out?”
He went back to strumming the guitar.
“I’ve been through it once; I can’t go through it again,” he admitted. It didn’t matter that he missed Hailey so much his chest ached.
“Except this time, you’re putting yourself through the pain when you don’t have to. Go to her. Tell her you love her. Get her back. Don’t waste this chance.”
He slapped his hand over the strings. His heart pounded as silence fell abruptly in the room. “What happens when she gets bored and walks away?”
“Jace—” his aunt touched his face, turning his chin toward her “—your mother didn’t walk away because she was bored. She walked away because she was young and overwhelmed. She had you at eighteen, she was taking care of your father who required a lot of attention, and his depression scared her. She felt her life was going nowhere, and she panicked. I’m not saying what she did was right, but I’m just telling you how she saw it. Hailey isn’t your mother. She isn’t going to walk out on you in the middle of the night.”
“How can I guarantee that?” he demanded, hating that he already felt vulnerable when he had promised himself he’d never let himself hurt like that again.
“There are no guarantees in life.” Aunt Mia shrugged. “At the same time, you’re both adults. Talk your issues out. If you don’t get her back because you’re afraid she may leave, you’ll regret it. Allowing fear to control your life is the biggest mistake you can make. Trust me.”
Her eyes were wide and shining, and he couldn’t miss her own sorrow in them. The skin around her eyes and mouth were pinched tight.
This was the woman who loved him unconditionally, the woman who took him in and raised him on her own without ever looking back. He trusted her with all his heart. And she’d never walked out on him.
“Just think about it,” his aunt added. “This self-imposed prison of loneliness will never make you happy. And I could see Hailey did.”
Hailey had made him happy, incredibly safe and happy. And he pushed her away despite all that.
“I need to get her back,” he said softly.
Mia laughed and stood. “Now that’s what I want to hear. Let’s celebrate with ice cream.”
The next few days dragged by as he attempted to fix the fissure with Hailey. On the way home from his aunt’s, he called her. Twice.
No answer.
Not that he blamed her.
He hit her number to redial a third time, but something stopped him. Maybe she was ignoring him. If she was still mad, calling her nonstop wasn’t going to solve the problem.
The next day, he decided he didn’t care and called her twice more. She didn’t answer or call back, though he had left messages asking her to.
She was definitely ignoring him.
The next day, he sent her a text asking her to call. Not a peep from her.
Maybe she had moved on. What if she had changed her mind and realized she didn’t love him?
He broke out in a cold sweat and called her again.
No answer.
He paced his too small, too dull, too monochrome apartment. Things needed to change. A shopping trip later, he returned with green towels, a blue coffee mug, and a blanket for his couch.
When she didn’t answer the following day, he called his aunt to say hi. It was that or sit helplessly staring at his phone, and he didn’t do helpless.
After the conversation, he sat on his couch, jiggling the phone in his hands.
He had his chance, and he blew it. Grabbing a green pillow, he tossed it across the room.
He should have told her he loved her when he had the chance. Maybe she would have stayed. Maybe she would have left. Either way, he’d know.
There had to be someone who could help him. He scrolled through the numbers in his phone, trying to figure out who to call.
Evan was obviously the last person he’d consider. Aunt Mia gave him all the advice she had. He didn’t know her parents’ number.
Wait…maybe he did.
He scrolled through his calls to a month prior, and on the same day Hailey ran out of her wedding was an unknown number. He hesitated a moment before he dialed. A woman answered after the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Is this Mrs. Miller?” he asked.
“Please call me Jane,” came the response. “Is this Jace?”
“It is.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he tried to figure out what to say next.
Jane beat him to the punch. “Are you calling about Hailey?”
“Yes,” he said. One word, but simple, honest, and true.
He could hear the smile in Jane’s voice as she said, “It’s about time.”
*
“Swimsuit packed?” Jane folded a cover-up and set it in Hailey’s suitcase.
“Check.” Hailey piled three suits into her case, followed by a bottle of sunblock and a hat.
“Pajamas?”
“Got them,” she said with a laugh. “Not that it matters. I’ll be sleeping alone.”
She was taking a trip to Hawaii. By herself.
Her mom had talked her into it, pointing out she had paid most of her wedding off, left two men in a month, and found a new apartment.
After returning to San Francisco, a distraction from her life was more than welcome. While she was happy to be home, to see her friends, and to be back in her world, it somehow didn’t seem as Technicolor bright as she remembered.
It was like Jace had stepped into her life and lit it up so brilliantly that everything felt dim without him around.
She missed having him around, and the way his hands felt on her. If she thought about it enough, she could still feel the sensation of his fingers tracing the lines of her body.
More than anything, she missed how happy he made her.
She flicked her bangs out of her eyes and focused on packing. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
Her mom pushed some shoes aside and sat down on the bed. “Honey, I think this is something
you need to do on your own.”
“I guess that’s true.”
“Plus, your father would be jealous if we went without him.”
Hailey laughed as she tossed in a dress. “I’m just about done. Want to watch a movie after? I have Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer.”
Her mom’s face lit up. “Twist my arm, if you must. I’ll watch just about anything if you have Cherry Garcia.”
Hailey packed the last few items and zipped the suitcase closed. “My bag is packed, I’m checked in, and I have my snacks ready for the plane tomorrow. Anything else?”
“Don’t forget to find a hot man to make you forget everything.” Jane flashed a wide smile.
“Mom!” There was no way that was happening. It was impossible to close her eyes and think of another man besides Jace. Maybe over time, she’d finally be ready to meet someone.
“Promise me if a tall, dark, handsome man shows up and is interested, you won’t say no,” her mom teased.
“I think I’ve had enough trouble with men for the year,” Hailey retorted. She padded into her kitchen and pulled open the magnet-covered freezer door.
She pulled out a carton of ice cream and set it on the counter and pulled out a couple spoons.
The door buzzer sounded, announcing a guest.
Hailey glanced at Jane, who was pulling down bowls. “Is Dad coming over?”
Her mom shook her head, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. “UPS?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t remember ordering anything.”
She headed to the door to check the peephole. The man on the other side of the door was definitely not UPS.
All the air escaped her lungs in one whoosh, and her heart dipped all the way to her stomach before flipping back up.
Great. It was official. She was losing her mind. She wanted Jace back so badly, she was imagining him on the other side of her door.
“Who is it?” her mom called.
She didn’t answer. Instead, she fumbled with the lock and opened the door with numb fingers. There, in real life, was Jace standing in front of her. A bouquet of flowers in one hand. His other hand tapping on his thigh.