I look into her solemn eyes and marvel once again that someone so young could have so much wisdom. I’ll never fully know what she’s gone through in her lifetime to make her this way, but she’s a fucking tower of strength and I don’t see that ever changing. To take her independence away would be to destroy her. I’ll care for her in every way she’ll allow and do my best to nurture the fighter within her. “I understand, baby,” I say softly.
As I have so often done in the past, I instinctively rely on the touch of my body against hers to say everything I feel. We’ve seemed to communicate this way from the very beginning and before I’m even conscious of doing it, I have her T-shirt and my boxers off. I leave the lamp on and settle between her thighs. I’m content for a moment to simply stare into her expressive eyes. Soon though, it’s not enough. As if it has a mind of its own, my hard cock rubs through her wetness, causing us both to gasp out. “Love me now, Luc,” she moans as I continue to tease her.
I slip inside her just an inch before pulling back out. Her ankles come up to lock around my hips as she tries to force me into her wet heat. I’m just a second away from thrusting home when it hits me that I don’t have a condom on. I grit my teeth and pull back, telling her what I’m doing as I fumble in the drawer of the nightstand. When I’ve sheathed my cock, I waste no more time. As soon as I’m back between her legs, I put one hand under her ass, arching her hips up, and bury myself to the hilt. She screams my name as I set a hard, steady rhythm. After the fear of losing her earlier, I feel a primal need to stake my claim on her body again. Her cunt grips me greedily, taking everything I’m giving and begging for more. At this point, I don’t know who is possessing who. I plant my knees on the bed, taking both of her hips in my hands and pull her into each thrust. My breath is ragged and my spine is tingling. I’m seconds away from coming and I want her with me. I grind my root against her clit and her shrieks let me know she’s almost there. “Come on my cock, baby. Now. Give it to me,” I command, and as if waiting for those words, she begins convulsing, throwing me into my own orgasm. With each contraction of her body, I come until I wonder how I can have anything left.
Finally, when I don’t think I can take any more, we both start to float down with only the occasional aftershock rippling through our bodies. I dispose of the condom before wetting a washcloth and bringing it back to the bed. She is already limp and close to dozing off as I quickly clean between her thighs before tossing the cloth into the laundry basket. I flip the light off and crawl back in bed, pulling her into my arms. “Love you,” she murmurs as her body goes limp against mine.
“You too, baby,” I reply, noting how it gets easier and easier to accept her love and profess my own. No doubt, I’ll be like some teenaged sap before long, texting her every five minutes during the day with some form of “I love you.” Maybe even using some of those damn emoticons or whatever the hell they are that Sam, of all people, uses in texts. I hope the fuck that falling in love doesn’t mean I have to give over my balls and start acting like some kind of pussy. When Lia mumbles something in her sleep before throwing a leg over mine, I wonder if I’d even give a damn if that happened. For this woman, I’d do it all without complaint. The moment feels wonderfully normal and I wish with all my heart that we could remain in this cocoon forever. Inevitably though, I know the morning will come as it always does and there is still too much turmoil around us for this tranquility to last.
Chapter Four
Lia
Our lives have fallen back into the regular routine again in the week since our fight and subsequent talk about Lucian’s past. He’s watching the morning stock reports as I stumble into the kitchen. My cup of coffee sits on the counter next to him as it almost always does. He’s also fixed me my favorite multi-grain bagel with blueberry cream cheese. He’s in his usual attire of suit pants, tie, and dress shirt. His suit jacket is hanging on the back of another chair. Just thinking of a man looking like he stepped straight from the pages of a GQ magazine fixing me breakfast each morning is enough to make me go weak at the knees and damp at the core. He is so sexy that I can hardly believe he’s all mine sometimes.
“Morning, baby,” he says as if sensing my presence.
I stop staring and walk over to where he has now turned on his barstool and is looking at me in question. I shake my head, not wanting to explain what I had been thinking. I wiggle between his spread thighs and wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me up onto my tiptoes and I taste the coffee on his lips as he kisses me. “Mmm, good morning to you, too,” I purr against his mouth as I lick my lips. Oh God, he smells so good this close. A mixture of soap, cologne, and Lucian. I admit I’ve had a few stalker-type moments where I’ve put just a touch of his cologne on the collar of my shirt so I could smell him all day.
I settle onto the stool next to his and take an appreciative sip of my coffee. I almost choke on the first bite of my bagel when he says, “So, we’ve got our appointment with Dr. Kay at four today. I’ll be back to pick you up around 3:30, okay?”
I look down at the cast on my wrist in surprise. Other than a ton of mental scars, it’s the biggest remaining physical reminder of the attack and near rape by my stepfather. I’ve become so used to working around it that I barely pay it any attention now. Truthfully, with everything that’s happened in the last week, I hadn’t thought of my upcoming appointment. Now though, my stomach begins flipping nervous somersaults. Lucian, possibly seeing the panic on my face, turns me to face him and puts a comforting hand on my thigh. “It’s going to be fine, Lia. Either way, we’re okay.”
“What kind of woman could have just forgotten for days that she might be pregnant?” I ask, genuinely distressed. “Shouldn’t I have already panicked and sent you out for a test in the middle of the night or bought like ten boxes of them myself? What’s wrong with me?” I’m aghast that I’ve shoved aside something so important while I obsessed about my new father and Lucian. Was I so indifferent to the thoughts of a child that I couldn’t even concern myself with their possible existence?
I feel Lucian’s hand circle my neck, a move he favors when he wants my undivided attention. “Baby, stop it right now. I don’t think there’s some kind of behavior protocol you’re supposed to follow concerning a possible pregnancy. You’ve had a lot on your mind, and obviously, you haven’t had any symptoms that have demanded your attention. I think it’s much healthier that you’ve been able to put it aside instead of being a nervous wreck while awaiting your appointment. What good would that have done?”
“But, I didn’t have to wait, did I? I could have just bought a damned test and have taken it. Shouldn’t that have been a priority for me?” I’m starting to sound irrational, even to my own ears, but I can’t seem to stop the wave of despair that has fallen upon me. Deep down, I fear that this is some kind of indicator as to the type of mother I would be. Neglectful and self-centered just like my mother.
“Lia!” he snaps, bringing my focus back to him. “When exactly should you have fit that in? If women have been known to forget to take birth control while they’re upset over something, don’t you think it’s reasonable to assume you could forget to buy something like a pregnancy test after learning you have a father you never knew? Cut yourself some slack here…there was no harm done. I’m not sure I would have remembered it either if not for the appointment coming up in my reminders this morning.” When I finally nod, feeling somewhat better at his words, he drops his hand and points to my plate. “Now, finish eating. I worked my ass off on that breakfast.”
A giggle escapes as I look from him to the bag of bagels sitting beside the toaster oven. “You’re my hero,” I deadpan, trying to hold a straight face.
“Damn straight.” He snorts. I see the corners of his mouth twitch, but he keeps a steady expression as he returns his attention to the stock reports.
Our domesticated scene continues until Lucian looks at his watch and gets to his feet. “Where’s Sam?” I ask, used to Lucian’s driver ringing the do
orbell, indicating that our breakfast time is over.
“I’m driving myself today.” He gives me a quick look before adding, “I figured you would be more comfortable if it were just you and me for your appointment this afternoon.”
“Oh,” I reply, strangely touched. “Couldn’t you have just had Sam drop you off here this afternoon?”
He taps my nose and then turns to put his jacket on. “Yes, but it seemed easier this way. Less nosy questions from him and all that.”
“I can go alone,” I offer, knowing he won’t agree with my suggestion. There is no aspect of my life that doesn’t interest Lucian. It’s a bit disconcerting that he knows my schedule better than I do most days. No doubt his phone calendar is full of alerts concerning me. I can’t bring myself to care, though. It’s nice to have someone in my life who gives a damn about my day-to-day routine.
He takes my hand, leading me through the apartment to the front door before he answers. “I want to go with you, especially this time.” I nod as he pulls me into his arms and simply holds me for a moment. He pulls back and kisses me, slow and easy, as if he doesn’t already have a million different business matters running through his mind. I love his ability to make me feel as if there isn’t anyone or anything more important than I am. I know without him telling me that he’d drop everything without question if I needed him. He’s proven that repeatedly.
“I want you with me, too.” As he turns to the door, I use the hand that he’s still holding and pull him back to me. His raises a quizzical brow and I’m suddenly shy. “I…just wanted to say that I love you.” I feel myself blushing which is surprising since this isn’t the first time I’ve said those words to him.
His face softens as he looks at me. “I love you too, baby,” he replies, and I want to melt in a puddle at his feet. Will I ever be immune to the effect this beautiful man has on me? “I’ll see you in a bit,” he adds, as he brushes my cheek lightly before opening the door and stepping out. As it closes behind him, I pinch myself, thinking once again that I must be dreaming.
I’m walking back toward the kitchen when I hear my phone buzzing on the table in the entryway. I dig it out of my purse and cringe when I see Rose’s name. I was supposed to call her last night and let her know that everything was okay with Lucian and me. Her first words, when I answer the call, are, “I’m getting myself a new best friend because you suck.”
“Er…good morning to you too, sunshine,” I say, in an attempt to lighten her up with a joke.
“You completely left me hanging. If you’d bothered to climb off that sex god of yours anytime last night, you would have noticed I called you like fifty times! I was on my way over there when Lucian finally returned the text I sent him and swore to me that everything was all right between you two.”
“You talked to Lucian last night? He didn’t mention you were trying to reach me,” I say, surprised.
“He said you were already asleep. I figured that was code for sex.” She snickers.
I laugh along with her not bothering to point out that Lucian would have never stopped to return a text message if we had been having sex. He must have heard his phone later on. He’s not a heavy sleeper. I figure that was largely because he was afraid of his usual nightmares about Cassie. I hope that now he’s talked to someone about what had happened that night, maybe he can finally begin to heal from the guilt and pain that has haunted him for so long. “I’m sorry for not calling you.” Knowing how badly my attack has affected those close to me, it was thoughtless of me to worry her like that.
“I’m going to forgive you this time,” she sighs, “but don’t do that again, chick. It’s all your fault that Max lost so much sleep last night.”
“Ah, sorry,” I say automatically before her last sentence sinks in. “Wait—what about Max?”
“First, I want you to know that I feel kind of bad about using you as an excuse to call him,” she says, sounding just a tad guilty. “I mean, I was really worried, so that wasn’t a lie. I thought that maybe he’d talked to Lucian about some lawyer stuff or something. When he said he hadn’t, I may have possibly exaggerated the level of my concern a bit…or a lot.”
“Oh God,” I groan, picturing poor Max trying to deal with an intentionally emotional Rose. The poor guy probably didn’t know what to do.
“It wasn’t that bad,” she protests weakly. “He should have been home shortly after midnight.”
“You made him come to your apartment?” I ask incredulously. How in the world did she pull that off? What was I even thinking? Stuff like this was child’s play to someone like Rose.
“He was resistant at first,” Rose admits, “but when I threw in the part about being scared of Jake, he cracked almost immediately.”
I feel like my head will explode as I try to keep up with the erratic flow of the conversation. “Jake? Why would you be scared of him? Has he been bothering you?” The last I’d heard, it was the other way around. Jake was running for his life from Rose since she’d discovered he was cheating on her. I mean, she’d shot out his tires with her pistol, broken into his apartment, and sewed up the leg holes on his pants and who knows what else. If I were he, I would have left the state—heck, maybe the country—and never look back.
“Nah.” She snorts, sounding as if the very thought is hilarious. “Max doesn’t know that though. You know how much alike he and Lucian are. They’re super overprotective of the little women. There were only so many times I could use the excuse that I needed to be talked out of doing something to Jake. He was starting to figure that out. When I called him all upset about not being able to reach you, he was so sweet and soothing. But, when I ran out of things to say, I panicked and blurted out that Jake has been bothering me with nasty texts and emails.”
Shaking my head in resignation, I point out, “You know that can be checked, don’t you? You don’t have any actual proof since it never happened. What’re you going to do if Max wants you to produce those threats so he can see them?”
“Oh, I covered that before he even got to my apartment. I used my burner phone to send myself a nasty message. I made sure I didn’t notice the text until Max was already there.”
“What’s a burner phone?” I ask, almost afraid to know.
“Um…a prepaid phone,” she says slowly as if I’ve asked something ridiculous.
I know she’ll consider this another dumb question, but I ask it anyway. “Why would you have a burner phone?”
“Daddy says that everyone should have an untraceable phone on hand. Our government tracks everything through our cell phones. My friends received jewelry for their sixteenth birthday—I got a pistol and burner phone.” Her tone is matter-of-fact as if we’re discussing the weather.
I’m not surprised at her father’s gift. I’ve come to think of him as some kind of modern Adolf Hitler or, at the very least, a close relative of his. What kind of man buys his daughter a membership in the National Rifle Association and gets angry with her if she doesn’t solve her problems with a gun? In the time that we’ve been roommates, I’ve never actually met him. I have seen her mother fleetingly and she dresses almost exactly as Rose. Demurely and expensively. Apparently, she took after both parents. Heck, maybe it was the required dress code in their house growing up. “That’s…different. Don’t feel bad,” I joke, “my mother didn’t even remember my birthday. I treated myself by going to the library and staying until they closed so at least it was a peaceful one for me.”
Rose makes a sound of disgust. “Ugh, that’s messed up. I hope your mother gets a really big, ugly girlfriend in prison.”
I laugh in agreement before getting back to our original conversation. “So, what happened with Max?”
Rose’s voice became livelier again as she says, “Well, I did the whole damsel-in-distress thing and he ate it up. Even I was impressed with my acting ability. He wants to take me to get a restraining order against Jake today. He was all macho, like ‘that bastard’s not getting near you.’ I was
so turned on, I could barely stop myself from taking his big ol’ cock and—”
“STOP!” I snap, not wanting to hear where this is going. I’m never going to be able to look Max in the face again. And I sure don’t need to know about his size, although mentioning it to Lucian would drive him crazy. He does seem to feel a bit of jealousy where his lawyer is concerned. No, no, I couldn’t—just no!
“But, Lia…” Rose whines. “You’re my bestie and I want to share this with you. He’s like seriously hung. I have yet to see it, but when I grabbed it in his car, my fingers didn’t even come close to meeting!”
“Oh crap,” I groan, trying to block that mental image from my head.
Trying to change the subject, I ask, “What are you going to do about the restraining order? Since Jake hasn’t actually been bothering you, I don’t think I’d go through with that.”
“Yeah, I’ve thought of that,” she muses. “I’m just going to have to find a creative way to distract him today.”
“You’re scaring me.” I laugh, only half joking. If not for girl loyalty, I’d be warning Max to run for his life. I’ve seen a side of Rose that I’d only caught glimpses of while she dated Jake. I mean, I knew her family was a little out there, but I never had any room to talk considering my situation. The first time she mentioned that her daddy gave her a new gun almost every birthday, I thought she was joking. Now I know to never discount bits of information Rose throws out in passing. Eccentric or not, she has always been there for me and I love her. Who knows, maybe she is exactly what Max needs in his life. I would have never pictured myself falling in love and being loved in return by Lucian Quinn, either.
“I promise not to take it too far.” She giggles. “Oops, that’s Max on the other line. Gotta go!” Before I can even say goodbye, she ends the call. I shake my head and toss my phone down. I’m just turning away when I hear a text chime. Picking it back up, I notice a message from an unknown number. Curious, I open it and see an invitation to breakfast—actually a standing one from Lee Jacks. He lists the name of a restaurant and says he will be there every morning if I would like to join him. I feel a surge of anger roll through me and almost give into the urge to send him a nasty message in reply. Instead, I throw the phone back down, shaking my head. I stand uncertainly, needing something to take my mind off Lee’s sudden appearance in my life and doctor’s appointment this afternoon. Even though it doesn’t really need it, I decide to clean the apartment. What better distraction could there be than a toilet brush and a bottle of Windex?
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