by Willow Aster
He turns even redder.
“You’re still real pretty, Caroline,” he practically whispers.
For some reason, I go all splotchy. It’s been a while since I’ve turned red. I’ve sorta stopped being so self-conscious the longer I’ve been away from Mama.
I look at my feet and he clears his throat.
“Thanks, Davis,” I say softly.
He starts to walk away and I call after him. “How old are you?”
“Eighteen,” he says before he turns the corner. And the smile he flashes me is a mixture of pure orneriness and something that looks like resolve.
CHRISTMAS IS GORGEOUS at the Inn. We find the perfect tree out past the vineyards on Papa’s property. Davis cuts it down and straps it on the back of his truck. The tree is at least twelve feet tall and looks magnificent in the living room. Before we start decorating, Papa supervises by being the Taster of all the Treats. Brenda and I make eggnog, while Ruby and Gracie work on Christmas cookies. Gracie is standing on a little stool that Davis built for her, so she can reach the countertop. It has helped tremendously—before she had the stool, she would try to use the tricycle to stand taller. The girl has become surprisingly agile.
Davis wanders in and leans over to see how Gracie is decorating her cookies.
“I like that green on there,” he says quietly and plants a kiss on her cheek.
Gracie turns around and puts her hands up on his face to kiss his cheek too. When she gets green frosting on his ear, she giggles.
“Mess,” she says.
“You’re a mess,” he says and tickles her side.
She reaches up to hold onto him and gets even more frosting on him.
“Oh, now you’ve gone and done it,” he teases and tickles her harder.
GRACIE STEALS THE show on Christmas morning. I don’t think any of us have ever had more fun than we do, watching her open presents. She does a little gasp and puts her hand to her mouth with every present. I can’t get over it. She even gives each one of us a hug and a kiss—without prompting—when we tell her who the present is from. My little lady. She makes my heart explode with love.
After all the presents have been opened and the affection has been doled out, we sit down to a feast. Ruby has been cooking for days and it’s worth every shooing out of the kitchen we’ve had to endure in the week leading up to the festivities.
I barely think about Isaiah, well…except long enough to wonder if he’s spending Christmas with that girl, if he’s happy, if he looks old too, and to ask myself if he ever still thinks of me at all.
WORK ON MY ‘attic getaway’—as it has been dubbed—has been underway since the day after Christmas. Seeing that we had a lull in the Inn’s schedule, we went ahead and closed the Inn and decided to have a little vacation ourselves. If you count completely remodeling the attic of a huge plantation home as a vacation.
Davis has put in more hours than I can count. He’s done some of the work for the past month but avoided being too loud while guests were with us. Now he’s going strong, day and night, and we’re all pitching in to help as much as we can. There’s giddiness in the air about how the space is shaping up—I can’t stay out of there. It’s so pretty. The floors are buffed to a fine finish, and the walls have been painted a buttery yellow.
A few days into the work, I lay Gracie down for her nap and head up to the attic to see the progress. Davis hears me coming and tries to block me from coming in all the way.
“I want to see what you’re working on—I haven’t gotten to come up all morning!” I huff.
“I know! I’m finally getting some work done!” He gives me as much of a steely glare as he can manage.
It just makes me laugh.
“Come on, let me in.”
“No, I’m not going to let you back in here until it’s finished,” he says with a grin.
“Are you smirking at me?” I shake my head. “Oh no you don’t. You’re a perfectionist and it will take you forever if I don’t get in there to help you finish.”
I try to brush past him, but he grabs both my shoulders and holds me firm.
There’s something different in his touch now than the hug he gave all of us in the kitchen that day with Papa and Ruby. Something about it reminds me of how long it’s been since I’ve had physical contact with a boy. It’s been about two years, three months, two weeks and two days, to be exact. I back up like I’ve been shot and run back down the stairs, all the way to the main floor, and out to the garden.
I STAY OUT of his way the rest of the week, telling myself that I’m just giving him space, not breathing down his neck and getting underfoot…but really, I’m still trying to process what happened, or more like what didn’t happen between us the other day. Because nothing happened. And nothing will. Because I don’t need a dumb boy latching on to my heart.
AFTER A BIG pork supper, collard greens, black-eyed peas and cornbread—the traditional food you have to eat on New Year’s Day if you want to have good luck all year—Davis shifts in his seat and makes an announcement.
“After supper, I’d like everyone to come up to the attic,” he says without looking at me.
It’s then I realize he’s been avoiding me too.
Ruby claps her hands together and I stare at her.
“Have you seen it already, Ruby?” I ask.
She shrugs, but by the way her lips are curling up, I’d say she has.
“Well, I never. Have you seen it too, Papa?”
He raises his eyebrows and gives a shrug too. His twinkling eyes give him away.
“I see it, Mama!” Gracie says loudly.
“You’ve seen it?”
“I see it!” she repeats.
“No, she hasn’t seen it yet, Caroline,” Davis says, still avoiding my eyes.
“Well, everyone hurry up and eat!” I start shoveling the collard greens and peas in my mouth. I’ll take all the good luck I can get.
WHEN WE GET to the top of the stairs, Ruby covers my eyes and they lead me inside. I hear the gasp from Gracie and Ruby takes her hand off. Then I do a shriek of my own. Ruby has me turned facing the left wing. She opens my bedroom door first. A four-poster bed with sheer white curtains hanging from ribbons around it stands on the left of the large room. The bedding is plush and looks so inviting, I want to crawl in it and stay there. Next to my room is Gracie’s, with a bed just her size. She runs right for it and does get in hers. In the open space outside our rooms, a window seat lines all the windows and pretty white wooden shutters filter in just enough light to make it feel airy.
“You made all this for us?” I ask Davis, my mouth hanging open.
He nods. “Yep.”
“He’s been working on the beds for a long time,” Papa says. “We’ve had this idea brewing for quite a while. What do ya think?”
“It’s so beautiful. Thank you.” Tears roll down my face.
“You haven’t even seen all of it.” Ruby shifts me a little to the right.
It’s even better on that side. Built-in bookshelves are filled with my books and a large plush floral chair sits next to a mini pink chair. One for me and one for Gracie. And a little further to the right, in the corner of the room, a wooden swing hangs from the ceiling. I run and sit in it, giving myself a light push off.
“This is the prettiest attic I’ve ever seen. A swing! Who puts a swing in a house? It’s the best idea ever.”
Davis smiles and points to the books. “You need another place to read all your books, when you’re tired of just sittin’ in that chair. And some days are too hot for you to swing on the one outside…I know you…like it out there…”
I hop off the swing and move in front of him, chewing on the inside of my cheek to keep from bawling. “Thank you, Davis. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Well, besides Papa having me move here in the first place.” I lean over and take Papa’s hand and look back up at Davis. “Really—I don’t even know what to say. Thank you.”
He
looks down. “I didn’t want to make you cry, but I thought you might.” He looks up and gives me a smile that makes my heart jump over itself just a bit.
He really is pretty handsome, now that I give him a good look. And I do give him a good, long look, noticing some of his features for the first time. His brown eyes are kind and warm, with eyelashes that might be longer than mine. His lips are full and always have a smile just hovering on the edge, ready to take off. His blonde hair is thick, and for a brief moment, I wonder what it would feel like to run my hands through it…
Okay, enough. I will not think about that.
I reach over and awkwardly pat his shoulder. I stare at him a little longer and everyone is quiet until Gracie yelps. In the corner across from mine, is her swing. She climbs up on it before we can even blink and tries to swing on it standing up. I rush over to her and set her on her bottom and give her a little push.
“I yove it,” she says and I beam at her. “I vewy yove it!”
“I very love it too!” I grin at Davis over Gracie’s head. “We’ll never want to leave our room now!”
It’s our very own little haven, mine and Gracie’s.
Davis just stands there quietly, looking content and rather proud of himself. I vow to myself to make his favorite cookies at least once a week.
AFTER THE GRAND gesture with my room, Davis is bolder. His shyness hasn’t gone away, necessarily, and he’s still quiet, but now there’s a new confidence there. He looks at me, and all I know is that his eyes are trying to tell me something. He looks at me a lot more now. And I look back.
I’m trying to figure out what has suddenly drawn me to his attention and vice versa. How did I not see how cute he is until now? And his voice—it’s like hot buttered rum on a cold night; every now and then it seeps through the ice that has taken over my heart and melts a tiny spot.
He doesn’t really make any major move to let me know what he’s thinking exactly…until Valentine’s Day. I’ve been intent on making every holiday special for Gracie, but would just as soon ignore Valentine’s Day altogether.
When I start getting sentimental in the days leading up to the holiday and pull out everything Isaiah ever gave me—dried flowers, his notes, the jewelry box—I know I need to just forget the whole day altogether.
I have made Davis cookies once a week, just as I planned, but I haven’t made them this week yet, because I’m so keen on not drawing attention to anything romantic.
But on the fourteenth, I open my bedroom door and find two boxes of chocolate—a big heart for me and a little heart for Gracie. A long red rose is laying on top of my box.
I lean my head over on the doorframe and let out a big sigh.
“Not what you were hoping for?”
I nearly jump right out of my clothes. “I-I didn’t see you there,” I stammer.
Davis is almost to the top of the steps, just outside my room. He smiles. “Or were you wishing they were from someone else?”
He’s never asked me any questions, and unless Papa or Ruby has mentioned something to him, he knows nothing about Gracie’s daddy.
I swallow hard before answering. “I’m not sweet on this day anymore, to tell you the truth.”
He nods. And waits for me to say more.
When I don’t, he says, “How ’bout we change that?”
My eyes grow wide and then I have to blink about six times because they get so dry. I lean down to pick up the chocolates, just as Gracie swoops out of the room. She sees the cute little box in my hands and knows it’s for her. I hold it up for her to see and tell her it’s from Davis.
He stretches his long arm out and takes the box, waving his hand for her to come sit by him. She ends up on his lap and as their heads bend over the box while he’s opening it, another little trickle drips off my ice.
Gracie picks out a chocolate and while she’s making fast work of it, Davis’s eyes meet mine over Gracie’s head.
“Ruby said she’d cover for you later today. If you’d like, we could go out while Gracie’s napping. Ruby will take care of the guests. Papa will listen for Gracie and watch her while Ruby's cooking. And she said she’s good for as late as we wanna be out. As long as we’re bright and cheery in the mornin’,” he says, laughing.
“Sounds like y’all have it all worked out. This is a busy day for the Inn, are they sure about this?” My voice sounds a little shaky.
He nods. “Yep. All set. Ruby has actually been workin’ ahead all week, so we could do this. If you said yes, of course…” he adds.
“Where are you wanting to go?”
His right shoulder tilts up and his eyes shine, as he says, “I had a little somethin’ in mind.”
“Oh, is that right?” Without meaning to, my tone went full-on flirtatious. I shake my head to try to stop myself. But it’s not working. My heart thumpety-thumps.
Gracie is done with our conversation and she jumps up and takes the chocolates with her. Davis stands up and leans an arm above me on the doorjamb. He’s standing far closer than he ever has.
“What do you say—will you go out with me?” he whispers, looking in my eyes and then down at my lips.
All I can do is blink and then I finally find my tongue. “I don’t know, Davis. I don’t really…go out…ever…at all.”
“I’ve noticed,” he says.
I study his face. Up this close, his eyes are so dark, I see the light bouncing off his eyes. No wonder they seem so bright.
“Do you—do you think you might could like me, Caroline? Eventually? You know, as more than just a friend?”
It’s the first time his confidence has wavered and now he sounds tentative. He steps back and holds both hands up. “Wait, don’t. Don’t answer that. Be ready in an hour? Wear something warm. It’s a nice day out there, but chilly…if you’re up for it?”
I nod slowly. “You know, I think I might be.”
He leans over and kisses my cheek.
My heart speeds up even more.
“Yes, yes, I’m pretty sure I am,” I add.
He laughs at me and I can’t help but laugh back.
“I’ll come pick you up in an hour.” He gives me one more grin before turning around and running down the stairs.
I can do a lot with an hour, so with fifteen minutes to spare, Gracie and I are both bathed and hairdos done. I study my closet as if something new will magically turn up, but nothing does, so I just put on my favorite patchwork maxi skirt with a red turtleneck. Nellie would be dismayed by my wardrobe. It now consists of jeans, a couple long skirts, t-shirts and two sweaters. I haven’t gotten brave enough for a mini skirt and it wouldn’t fly at the Magnolia anyway.
I take one more look in the mirror, trying to imagine what Davis sees. Not so lanky anymore, my body has filled out. Mama would be telling me I’d better watch it or I’m gonna resemble a fat piggy pretty soon. I smooth down my skirt and sort of like the curves. Once I’ve done all the primping I can stand, Gracie and I sit on our swings. She keeps licking off the lip gloss I put on her and wanting more.
“Yips? Mo-ah?” she asks.
“One more time,” I tell her and we both hop off the swings and meet in the middle.
She puckers those pretty lips out and I have to kiss them first.
“Come on, let’s go find Papa and Ruby.” I grab her hand and we open our door.
Ruby is just reaching the top step. “Why, don’t you look pretty!” she says before giving us both a hug.
“I’m having all kinds of company up here today,” I say in her hair.
She laughs. “Sound like you got a fun day ahead of you, sugar.” She pulls my head back and looks in my eyes. “This boy is a good one, Caroline. I believe you can trust him.”
I bite my lip and nod. “I don’t really know how to get over Isaiah, Ruby. I mean, I hate him, so that helps, but…I don’t know…” I trail off.
She shakes her head. “You not gon’ be able to compare Davis to Isaiah, darlin’. Or the other way around
. It ain’t fair to either boy. And Isaiah ain’t here, so put him right outta that mind of yours and just be with Davis today. You don’t have to make any promises or do anything other than have fun.” She gives my cheeks two little pinches to accentuate those last two words.
I kiss her on each cheek and she takes Gracie from my arms. I lean over to kiss Gracie.
“Bye, Mama.” She gives a little wave and doesn’t seem fazed one bit that I’m leaving.
As their heads disappear down the stairs, I hear Davis saying hi to them on his way up. I guess he was serious about picking me up.
He stops in his tracks when he sees me standing there. His mouth goes into a tiny O. He better not whistle or this will all be over before it’s ever started. You’d think he’s never seen me, the way he’s gawking.
“You look so pretty,” he says shyly.
“Thank you. You look nice too.” He actually looks exceptionally nice, but I can’t quite tell him that. He’s wearing a long sleeve button down shirt with his jeans instead of one of the scroungy t-shirts he’s usually wearing.
He holds out his hand and I pause only briefly before taking it. Oh sweet Mary, he smells divine. I let go of his hand.
“I’m not sure if this is a good idea, Davis.”
“Okay. Going out today? Or holding my hand?” He puts his hands in his pockets and waits for my answer.
“Either one.”
“Why not?”
“Well, we live here together…and what if…someone gets hurt and then we have to be around each other all the time?”
“I’m not gonna hurt you. Are you gonna hurt me?”
I stare into his warm eyes for a full minute. The way his broad shoulders look like they could carry me for miles. The way he has been a steady, quiet presence in my life every single day for the last four months. The way he hasn’t ever asked anything of me, but has already given me so much of himself in the little things he does. The way he adores my little girl…