“Maxine –”
“Lily, sweetling, you can tell old Maxie.”
“He kissed me!” Lily uttered in a disbelieving whisper.
This was met with silence and Laura, surprised herself at her son’s forward behaviour, leaned even closer to the door to hear Lily’s reaction.
Finally, Maxine broke the silence. “Did you kiss him back?”
“No! Yes! Well, not the first time,” Lily answered.
“He kissed you twice? How late was I?” Maxine asked in a muted-shout.
Lily didn’t bother responding to that.
“Was it nice?” Maxine pushed.
“Yes it was nice. It was always nice with Nate,” Lily said this in a voice that made it clear she was not happy that it was nice.
“I’ll bet it was nice,” Maxine muttered. Then she shot off a set of rapid-fire questions. “Did you talk? Did he explain? Did he say anything?”
Silence.
Maxine pressed on. “He must have said something, must have told you why he didn’t come to you.”
More silence.
Maxine kept at Lily. “He wants to marry you.”
Utter silence.
“In two months!” Maxine, now, was losing patience.
“I’m not talking about this.”
“Lily!”
There was a sharp noise as if something was slammed on a counter.
“He promised me he was never letting me go! He told me he’d take care of me!” Lily hissed.
“Sweetling –” This was said placatingly and Laura didn’t have to be in the room to see Lily to know what she was feeling. It was blindingly apparent from the emotion trembling in her voice.
“No, Maxine. You of all people know what it’s been like, what we’ve been through. No. He promised me.” She broke off, not able to go on with her thought then she continued. “For eight years, I thought he was dead.”
There was a rustle of movement and then, “I do know, sweetling, but he’s not dead and he’s here and –”
Lily interrupted her friend, her voice now was bitter and the sound of it broke Laura’s already wounded heart.
“I believed him. I trusted him. And he didn’t come for me. He thought I left him, just like that.” Laura heard a snap. “Me leaving him. It’s ridiculous! And with no explanation, no reason, just packing up and moving away after what happened between us. He didn’t come after me. Even if he thought I’d left, he didn’t come for me, to ask me to explain, to convince me to come home. He lied. He said he wouldn’t let me go and then he did, without saying a word, doing one single thing to stop it.”
Maxine spoke. “Perhaps you should talk to him, perhaps he has an explanation.”
The sounds of busy work resumed.
“Too little, too late,” Lily returned. “We’ve struggled, no… I’ve struggled. I had to depend on you and Fazire and… and… he’s a man who can transfer seven million pounds into someone’s bank account in a day! You’ve seen him! He dragged me into a room with solicitors and threatened to take my daughter away from me. He thought the worst of me. He thought I was some flighty, besotted idiot who went and got herself pregnant and then hid the knowledge from him for years.” Laura heard the determined noises of Lily staying busy. “He can’t explain that. I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. It’s over. We’ll agree a visitation schedule and I’ll have to see him when he comes and gets Tash and when he brings her home. That’s it. The end.”
“Lily, I can’t help but think you’re making a mistake,” Maxine warned and Laura felt a moment of hope.
Then, at Lily’s next words, that hope was dashed.
“No, I already made the mistake, eight years ago. Now I’m protecting myself. I couldn’t endure it if it happened again and, Maxie, I need you to stand by me.”
More noises and then a muffled, “You know I will. I always have. I want what’s best for you.”
The conversation was over and Laura stood in the hallway, wondering what to do.
She should, of course, tell Nathaniel.
She should try to talk to Lily, to tell her about Nathaniel and why he would think she would leave him. Why, Laura knew in her heart even though he’d never told her, Nathaniel let her go. Laura wanted to explain all that was her son because she knew, she knew, Lily would understand.
But it was not her place.
Nathaniel would not thank her for sharing the information about his former life. He wore it like a badge of honour at the same time he hid it like a dirty secret.
Laura, like Victor, thought Nate could do anything. She thought this because he’d proved it time and time again. He didn’t need anyone, he had taken care of himself since he was born. He’d never asked for a thing since she’d known him, if he wanted it, he got it for himself.
This time, even though he didn’t know it, he needed his mother.
And she was going to be there for him.
Laura waited until there was enough time for the two women in the kitchen to be assured she hadn’t overheard anything and then she walked in, smiling brightly.
Once in the room, Laura asked, “Can I help?”
Chapter Seventeen
Lily
It was nearly closing time and Lily, caught in her own thoughts, most of them not very good, the rest of them supremely confusing, sat behind the counter of “Flash and Dazzle”, Maxine and Lily’s store in town.
Lily had bought into the store several years ago using the funds left over from the sale of her childhood home. She’d held onto them just in case some other calamity happened and in those days, calamities were happening with alarming frequently: the refrigerator breaking down (twice); the clutch going out in the car; the washing machine overflowing and flooding the house. At first, Fazire used to take care of these with a flick of the wrist but the Great Grand Genie Number One had channelled him and warned him if he did it any more, it would be considered Lily’s last wish and he’d have to leave them. And there was no way Lily would allow Fazire to leave them, he was the only family they had.
Fazire had been furious, he couldn’t actually get a job because he had no skills, save magic, and furthermore, he didn’t exist in the human world and had no passport or driver’s license. He’d started their air journey from Indiana eight years ago in the opened bottle in the luggage compartment, formed himself and magicked himself into the passenger area to sit with Lily. He couldn’t drive a car, they frightened him. Machinery,” he said with a shudder to hide his fear, “is common.” In those days, he couldn’t do much to help, except magic away problems. However, he also couldn’t go against the Great Grand Genie Number One, the consequences would be dire.
Therefore, for years Fazire had been magic-less except for floating, of course, and the occasional creation of three hot fudge sundaes.
Luckily, Flash and Dazzle had been doing a booming trade and still was. Every item in the store was handmade by talented designers and artists, each piece the only one of its kind. Two of their jewellery designers had become immensely popular and Maxine had found this woman who made the finest, loveliest, hand-crafted sweaters that Lily had ever seen. People came from far and wide to buy a one-of-a-kind sweater, dress or piece of jewellery.
Maxie had wanted to expand and open a store in Bath but didn’t have enough capital to do it. As she had helped Lily incredibly over the years, Lily took the chance and invested in Maxie’s expansion. It had been a good investment, increasing her income just enough to make their financial situation move from “critical” to simply “grave”.
Maxine now spent her time flitting from one store to the other, bedazzling her customers with her extravagant personality, customers who came for the goods but came back for another dose of Maxie, and taking care of her clerks as if they were all favoured daughters.
Lily managed what she now thought of as “her” store. She’d been working there (except for the brief time she lived in London and the time she had been unable to work because of her pregn
ancy with Tash) for nearly a decade. She loved it there, she kept the flowers in the window box and tubs outside bright and cheerful all year long. She designed the displays of goods with a cautious eye for detail. She took care of her own clerks and all their various and sundry girl problems like they were her younger sisters. It was perfect as Lily could walk to work and thus not tax her stubborn car. She could make her own hours. And she could have Tash there whenever she wanted.
It wasn’t exactly comparable to being an award-winning, jet-setting, best-selling novelist but it put food on the table.
That day, like every day, Lily wore clothes and jewellery she bought from the store wholesale or she wouldn’t have been able to afford them, Flash and Dazzle was a very exclusive shop. Lily’s dress was salmon-coloured with spaghetti straps and dainty hot-pink flowers embroidered in it. The bodice fit her like a glove down her torso to flair very slightly at the hips and it fell ending mid-thigh. She wore this with a pair of hot pink flip flops and a set of brightly coloured, glitter-encrusted bangles in every shade of salmon, peach and pink jingled at her wrist.
Lily had no idea whatsoever that one look at her, stylishly sporting Flash and Dazzle inventory, made the majority of sales in the shop (though Maxine knew this, for certain).
She also had no idea that, even in her current state of slenderness, her glorious beauty had not faded over the years, in fact, it deepened with maturity. Her heartbreak had only added a mysterious allure.
She’d never learned to come to terms with her beauty and still didn’t fully know it existed. She had a feeling she was no longer the ugly duckling, though. She wasn’t deaf or blind and she certainly wasn’t stupid.
She was, that day, avoiding home. It was Saturday, it had been Wednesday when Nate and the Roberts had come to meet Natasha. Nate was back today, having arranged horseback riding lessons for Natasha. This was her daughter’s most desperate desire, but as these lessons cost nearly forty pounds an hour, Lily had been unable to afford them. She had been saving up to give them to her for Christmas. The fact that Nate could afford them without blinking an eye, Lily found highly annoying.
Now, Lily had seven million pounds in the bank, money that Alistair was arranging to put in trust for Natasha. Lily wasn’t going to touch even a single penny of it.
She decided this stubbornly, even though Fazire tried to talk her into keeping at least some it, to finish the final rooms in the house, this included the entire garden level which had yet to be touched and the three rooms she hadn’t started on the top floor, not to mention her disaster of a bedroom. Fazire told her to put some in savings and to give some more to Maxine, who wanted to open another store in Cheltenham. He tried, with great determination, thus throughout the conversation, floating precariously close to the ceiling, to convince her to invest in her own future.
Lily would not hear a word of it.
It was not her money. It was Nate’s money and now Natasha’s money.
And that was that.
And Lily had made another decision, this one strategic.
She had decided to avoid Nate altogether and she didn’t hesitate to put that particular plan into action.
Lily had not been home when Nate arrived that morning. She left Fazire to watch over Natasha and hand her over to Nate when he arrived. Fazire, incidentally, wholeheartedly agreed with her Dodge Nate Plan.
She didn’t even want to meet him in a conference room with solicitors, considering the last time he’d backed her up against a wall and held her face like it was the finest piece of crystal.
She certainly didn’t want to be alone with him, considering the last time they were alone, he’d kissed her.
Kissed her!
It was insane and it was, quite simply, unacceptable.
She forgave herself for giving into the kiss. She’d been wanting to kiss Nate for eight long years, wanting to touch him, hold him, have him back and never, ever, let him go. She was allowed to give into a moment of weakness, just that once.
But not again. Never again.
The rest of that day, when Natasha met Nate and the other members of her burgeoning family, had gone relatively well. Lily had been surprised at Victor and Laura’s appearance but, if she could handle Nate, she could certainly put up with Victor and Laura for a few hours.
They’d served Maxine’s treats and had more tea and coffee. Conversation was awkward and stilted and mostly made up of Natasha’s excited gibberish, Maxine’s hilarious quips and Laura’s soft, careful comments.
Then Laura suggested a walk on the seafront, which Lily encouraged with great enthusiasm, running up the stairs to drag her genie out of his bottle (Fazire was furiously channelling his friends to tell them the latest episode in the Lily Saga) and plan her strategy with her ever-helpful friend.
At the last possible minute, Lily explained she had just remembered an urgent errand she had to run. Nate had glanced at her with a look that was both annoyingly patient and, more annoyingly knowing but she’d ignored him.
She said her brief good-byes and disregarded Laura’s disappointed look. She rushed to her beat up Peugeot, coaxed it to start and took off as fast as the little car would take her which, admittedly, wasn’t very fast.
Fazire, as planned, called her mobile when the coast was clear.
She and Fazire had carefully arranged their next avoidance tactic.
Unless Fazire phoned her, Lily was to work at the shop all day and go to the grocery store after. This, she hoped, would give Nate plenty of time to have his visit with Tash and leave. Horseback riding lessons didn’t last all day, only an hour. Even still, over a bottle of wine the night before, Lily and Fazire had made up a half a dozen excuses for her to leave again straight away in case Nate was still there when she arrived home (it wouldn’t do for him actually to know she was evading him).
Alistair encouraged her avoidance of Nate, even demanded it. He was currently working with Nate’s solicitors to set a visitation schedule and make it plain that Lily had no interest in what they were calling a “reconciliation”.
Nate’s solicitors were refusing even to broach the subject of visitation, demanding reconciliation and had gone so far as to present Alistair with a prenuptial agreement. This, Alistair returned after Jane had shredded it. Alistair didn’t read it and certainly didn’t give Lily the opportunity to do so, even if she had wanted to, which she did not.
She tried not to think of what Nate had said while they were retrieving the photo albums though she was quite unsuccessful. He thought she’d left him, which was absurd, and this confused her. He had not come after her and this angered her. That he didn’t know that Jeff and Danielle had plotted to keep them apart was obvious. That he accepted her leaving without even trying to discover why dumbfounded her. Especially since, now he clearly intended to have her back.
Then again, when he thought she’d left, there was no child involved. Now there was and if there was anything Lily understood, it was the importance of family. Lily didn’t for a second think that he wanted her but that he wanted them. More than likely Tash, with Lily as a companion and willing bed partner thrown in to sweeten the deal.
And Lily wanted no part in that.
It was closing time and usually Lily was happy to go home to Tash and Fazire on a Saturday when they’d get fish and chips and stroll the seafront or pop in a DVD. Tash liked Pixar, Fazire liked Westerns, Lily didn’t care what they watched.
Instead, she locked the doors, saw, very slowly, to the business of tidying the store, locking away the register drawer and seeing to the most minute task that would hold her back. Then she went to Tesco and instead of whipping around the store in her normal, busy-mother-on-a-mission frenzy, she checked product labels, assessed quantities and spent vast periods of time contemplating the inventories of the larder at her home before she decided on a purchase.
She packed the car, carefully placing every bag safely in the boot as if she’d be graded on its arrangement. It was strange, having time on
her hands. It was an alien feeling she hadn’t had in so long, she couldn’t remember the last time she had it.
Yes, she could, when she lived in London with Nate.
Then she wandered back to the cart store to return her trolley, humming to herself idly as if she had all the time in the world.
Then, against her will for the first time in her life, she went home.
A gleaming, sleek, sporty car was parked at the front of her house, dashing all hope that Nate had already left and Fazire had just forgotten to phone.
She expertly, from years of practice, parallel parked the Peugeot into the spot behind the Aston Martin (Nate, she saw, had not changed his predilection for fast cars), mentally preparing for what was to come. She went over her excuses, deciding which was best – an emergency trip to the mall because her hair dryer was broken, which it was not but everyone knew a woman could not live a single day without her hair dryer.
Taking as many bags as possible from the boot, she struggled, arms laden, to the house.
She was barely halfway up the walk when the door was thrown open.
“Mummy!” Natasha flew out with her usual spiritedness, followed urgently by Fazire who had a look on his face that could only be described as “stormy”. “You would not be… lieve!” Natasha cried excitedly.
Nate followed Fazire and Lily fought back her reaction at seeing him casually strolling from her house. She couldn’t count how many times she’d dreamed of that very vision coming real.
She found it immensely annoying that he was more charismatic, more attractive, more handsome than eight years ago. He wore jeans and a long-sleeved chambray shirt, the sleeves rolled up partially at his forearms and he looked immensely masculine.
“Believe what?” Lily asked, trying to smile at her happy daughter at the same time ignoring Nate and finding both difficult.
She decided that, too, annoyed her.
Fazire walked by her, flashing her a glance filled with barely contained ire.
He muttered as he passed her, “Tash confiscated my mobile thingie-whatsit and would not allow me to use the house line.”
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