by Brian Tissot
Burning magma had traversed these caves before emptying into the sea. After eons beneath the planet’s surface, as it cooled and congealed into stone, the magma’s violent life ended. Touching the wall, she felt the rock’s energy and powerful spirit. The stone was strong, patient, peaceful; its life was measured in eons, not years like hers. The magma died, but the rock’s life had just begun. Eventually, it would erode, turn into sediment, and be recycled back into the planet to be born as magma once again. She thought of the burning magma as a reflection of a former life. Somehow she knew she must do the same with her past and move on to the next phase of her life.
As she marveled at the strength of the cave’s walls, the pelting rain and the dampness of the air triggered thoughts of her resolute father and his ill-fated departure 12 years ago. The memory of that day was an empty dark hole. Although she avoided thinking about that day, she had relived the moment in her mind a thousand times, unable to let her regrets go.
On the day he left, she was angry as she stared at him with her arms crossed. “How can you leave me? I need you.”
“But I must,” he said. “We have to continue to explore and find out what’s out there. Who knows what we may find?”
In her anger, she hid in the multitude as her ‘ohana said goodbye, and he departed Hilo for the high-profile mission. Cameras were everywhere, as he was one of the first local boys to explore a distant planet. He was smiling, happy, excited at the opportunity to visit another world and she hated him for it. And after all the goodbyes, he looked for her in the throng, but she froze in place as her anger grew and tears rolled down her face. Then he saw her and pushed through the crowd, smiling. He hugged her and held her close, but she just stood there, arms at her side, unable to overcome her indignation. She couldn’t speak. As he turned to leave, she stopped him and timidly placed a puka-shell necklace she had made around his neck.
“Mahalo, Sage. The perfect gift. I will treasure it. You take care, my girl. When you look at Procyon, think of me, and I’ll be thinking of you. I love you with all my heart, and I’ll always be with you. See you in 18 months!”
But her rage was so strong she didn’t know what to say. As much as she supported the mission, something felt wrong and fear gripped her heart that he would never come back. So she said nothing, just nodded and shrugged her shoulders. As he walked away, her heart felt like it was ripped from her chest. She wanted so badly to tell him how much she loved him and what he meant to her. But she hesitated, and then he was gone. Forever. And she had regretted the moment ever since. Why didn’t I say something? He doesn’t know I love him! Her deep regret was forever buried in the void in her heart from his loss. Then after his funeral a year later, she was numb with grief and angry at herself. I will prove my love for him. Through me, everyone will know he was the best father in the world.
In tears, she pulled away from the wall, her hands stained red from the cave’s eroding surface. In shock, her voice echoed through the empty caves. “It’s the blood of my past mistakes. I must move on. It’s time to go home.”
Moving purposely through the cave system, she found an occasional skylight, but they were all too far above to climb out. It was like a maze, and she was worried about getting lost as she followed the larger, darker caves that receded into the distance. Many had spring water dripping from the walls, creating pools of water on the floor, and some had cascading waterfalls inside the vast caverns.
Deciding to end her search for the day, as she turned back, she saw a small white object on the cave floor. She recognized it instantly: a puka shell. “Oh my god!” she yelled. “This was Dad’s! It’s from his necklace.”
Sage loved puka shells and often wore a string of them as a tribute to the old Hawaiian surfers. She had made his necklace over several painstaking months by finding eroded shell tops on remote beaches. In Hawaiian tradition, a puka necklace was given for good luck before a voyage, with the hope of a safe return. Sage cringed at the thought that her father had died wearing her necklace but delighted that she found a clue to his fate. Then, standing in the dim, wet cave, it hit her. “Of course! The Nesoi brought him here after fighting with those creatures. Just like me!”
With sudden enthusiasm, she probed the jumbled cave floor among the boulders, pebbles, water, and red-black sand. As she followed one cave, she was astonished to find a string of puka shells leading her down to a larger open cavern: another refuge space filled with Nesoi. Standing amid the whistling animals, she saw a bright cave off to one side and stepped into a small shallow grotto filled with bright light streaming down through a large opening in the ceiling. She grinned as she looked up and saw the sky. I can get out here!
When she turned around to explore the cave, a patch of blue caught her eye, and her heart froze. She dropped to her knees. “Oh, my god. Dad! Dad! I can’t believe it.” She sobbed at the sight before her: bones in a blue NASA suit with a patch on the chest that read, “Thompson.” Torn in several places, the suit was covered in dark splotches.
Shaking, she bent over his body. “I found you!” Sadness and joyed warred within her sobbing frame. “I can’t believe I found you! The Nesoi brought you here, just like me. When the tides were crazy, they pushed you through their caves and into this refuge to protect you. They saved you…but they couldn’t heal you.”
She hung lightly over him as sobs racked her body. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry I never said goodbye. But I love you. I love you so much. You are everything to me. You are my life. I wanted so badly to say goodbye.” Then she lay next to his body and cried, in both anguish and relief.
She remembered his warm embrace, his quiet strength, and his determination to explore the oceans on other planets. She saw him holding her small hand as they swam in the ocean, smiling as she delighted in learning the names of all the sea creatures. Then at night, looking up at the stars, they called out their names together and talked about the possibilities of the universe. During the day, they snorkeled on the reefs while she sang to the turtles, to the fish, and to the corals. One day on the reef she surfaced next to him and grew serious.
“Daddy, are they part of our ‘ohana?”
She recalled his patience as he smiled at her question. “Well, I’ve never heard of an ‘ohana with turtles and fish. But you have so much aloha, my girl, and your circle of ‘ohana is so big, you can include whoever you want.”
A few hours later, she sat up, stretched, and noticed he was holding something in his closed hand. As she touched him, four puka shells dropped out, and she picked them up. “He was holding them!” she declared. She also saw a small yellow waterproof notebook held open by a pencil-sized space laser, one used for ultra-long-distance communications.
She gasped at the discovery then gently pulled the notebook from his hand and began reading, her body shaking in anticipation. The laser marked pages near the end of the book, so she read the last two pages of his journal.
February 22, 2078.
Aloha to my ‘ohana:
This note will be short as I feel my strength fading. I’m so sorry I can’t make it home. All my thoughts have been on the wonderful life we have shared. I am eternally grateful for the time I had with both of you. I know it’s unlikely these notes will be found, but I want you to know a few things. First, this is an amazing, beautiful planet. And although I died here, it wasn’t the fault of any storm or animal but our ignorance of its ecology. During my short stay here, and fantastic as this may sound, I met some remarkable mammal-like creatures that swam with me in the water and accepted me into their group. Sage, I wish you could meet one. They are incredible. And guess what? They sing, just like you. You would love them. And they saved me. After a creature from the river attacked me, they defended me and brought me to their refuge. One of them died defending me. I’ve lived here now for a few days. But I’m afraid my injuries are too severe, and I feel my life draining away. So I want to bid yo
u both aloha.
Aloha Kāua, Nani:
Please be strong for the ‘ohana and take care of our beautiful daughter. Believe it or not, she needs you. Never forget that I loved you the moment I saw you and never stopped. And our love together lives on in Sage. Please make peace with your mother. Life is too short to hold grudges, and Kalena holds great wisdom. Be happy and live in the good times we had together. Aloha Ku’u momi makamae.
Aloha Kāua, Sage:
I’ve thought of you a lot because I know you’d love it here. The waves look great, and the marine life is stunning. I know we didn’t have a proper goodbye, but it’s OK, and I treasure the necklace you gave me. I left knowing you love me. And I have always loved you. You’re a very special girl, and you have a great task to accomplish. Your tutu told me long ago of her vision, and I believe it. Although your journey may be difficult, if you get lost just follow your heart! Remember that nothing worthwhile is easy. You have an amazing aloha spirit, so keep sharing that with everyone. My love will always be with you. Mālama pono, my special girl!
A hui hou,
Daniel Thompson, your husband and father.
With tears rolling down her face, Sage stopped reading and collapsed onto the cave floor. Hours later, she awoke in the night and looked up at the sky through a hole in the cave’s roof. As the clouds parted, she saw a star above her; it was a vision from her recurring dream: a bright light through a hole in the dark. It’s Sol! Suddenly, an incredible image flashed through her mind: her father lying here staring at his home and thinking about his ‘ohana. As he died, he sent his love our way and mourned the vast distance between them. And I felt it! She picked up the laser and pointed it at Sol just as he must have. “I wonder if the light will reach home.” She laughed. “Yes, but in 11.46 years!”
Lying in solace near her father, Sage allowed a weak smile to cross her face. Finding her father was no accident. He had been calling to her across time and space. And despite the huge gulf between them, she received his messages, and felt his love, even across the universe. Now his bright spirit and wise words were helping her to move on. By finding him, she was able to say her goodbyes and bury her regrets. Now, she was ready to follow her path, wherever that might lead. Soon she would find out.
Chapter 29.
Precipice
Days passed, the tides retreated, the rains stopped, and the earthquakes dwindled to a whimper. With great care and respect, she gathered her father’s bones into a small pile, wrapped them in his NASA suit with a few puka shells and some dried pika for the journey to his next life, and placed them in a small hole in the cave wall. After saying a Hawaiian prayer for her father, and singing a song of gratitude to the Nesoi, she climbed out of the skylight and hiked up to the nearest ridge.
Looking down the coast, she saw smoking black lava fields and headed toward the Nesoi islands. As the sharp ocean smell blew across her face on the wind and she absorbed the panorama of the vast blue sea before her, the significance of finding her father washed over her. Her knees grew weak, and she collapsed to the ground, great sobs erupting in relief and gratitude. All the years of living on memories of him came flooding back. Then she thought of his song, the music, and the lyrics she had endlessly played in her head but could not sing. Its meaning was bottled up inside her, held back by her grief. It was her life’s melody, seemingly forever out of reach. But now her grief was replaced with a resolute purpose. As she stood up and lightly stepped across the red-orange ridge, she hummed her father’s tune. Stopping, she turned to the ocean and sang the entire song for the first time.
You know, life is what you do
I know, love is strong with you
The sea is, deep and strong
You know, you belong
So when I’m far away
It’s just another day
And if you’re missing me
Hear my music in the trees
No matter where you are
Look up and see our star
And in your dark nights
I’ll be your shining light—
You know, the world is, big and blue
I know, you are, strong and true
Life is, meant to sway
But you will, make your way
Now find out who you are
Become one of heaven’s star
And in the darkness night
You’ll be the brightest light
Despite her bleak situation, she smiled at the newfound lightness in her heart and renewed optimism for the future. Making peace with her father had healed her old wounds. Now, the words from the old song made sense. She needed to discover herself and become the brightest light. But how do I become Hōkūlani e hoʻāla i ka moana? What is her destiny? As she headed down a ridge toward the Nesoi islands, she was determined to find out.
The sun broke through the clouds and began baking the slick terrain into a hard reddish surface. The slugs and bugs were gone, and no chimeras were in sight. All had been washed away or burrowed in the mud. Carefully traversing the drying landscape as a carpet of dried lichens crunched under her feet, she marveled at the stark, complex topography and reveled in her new-found appreciation for the beauty of Thalassa. She crossed ridges made of thinly bedded basalts that had fractured and broken into flat, hard sheets of rock that cracked with each step. Other valleys were lined with walls of columnar basalts, reminding her of organ pipes in her mother’s church.
Advancing down a ridge toward the water, she noticed the coastal terrain had transitioned into vertical cliffs. In a few places, the steep marine landscape was pierced by old lava caves, which had collapsed to form arches and narrow gorges along the coast and spectacular multi-tiered cave systems with light streaming through water-filled tunnels. On top of the multifaceted geological splendor was a patina of yellow, orange, and red lichens intermixed with beds of coarse red-and-black sand. The warm sun and the gorgeous terrain raised her spirits as she marched on.
Through a gap in the clouds that night, she saw Hina moving away from the planet. The cycle is ending, for now. Lying on her back and staring at the stars, she found Sol above her and smiled once again at the unexpected discovery of her father. Seeing the familiar asterisms, she became nostalgic and remembered camping with him on a winter night on her sixth birthday. The memory bubbling into her consciousness felt like a warm embrace.
They were on a cliff above the thundering surf, huddled together while staring at the stars on a cold, moonless night. “Where do the stars come from, Daddy? Tutu says our Hawaiian ancestors came from the stars and the Koholā connect us.”
Her father looked at her with a warm smile in the dim light. “That’s a great question, honey. Stars are just like our sun but very far away.”
Sage raised her eyebrows and giggled. “I know that. But where do they come from?”
“Well, OK,” he replied, chuckling at her insistence. “Astronomers tell us the stars formed from cold dust and gas scattered across the universe. Over millions and millions of years, the dust came together until it got so big and so hot it burst into flames and formed a star, like our sun. Leftover dust around the sun formed the Earth and the other planets, and they created life.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “But what causes the dust to come together?”
“What do you think?” he asked, always the teacher.
Without hesitation, she broke into a passionate explanation. “Maybe it was too cold, and the dust didn’t want to be alone anymore. It wanted to be something bigger, better.” Then she tilted her head. “You know, dust can only do so much. But a star, that’s power! And if the stars helped our ancestors find Hawaii, then they truly are the home of the gods, just like Tutu says.”
“Wow,” her father said. “That’s an amazing idea.”
“But,” she said with an eager smile, “Are there people up there like us? You know, p
art of our ‘ohana?”
He smiled gently. “Well, we haven’t found anybody yet, and they may not be people, but I’d be surprised if we’re all alone in the universe.”
“Me too,” she replied, as they had discussed the question before. “It’s like living in Hawaii. All we see is water, and it’s easy to think we’re alone. But”—they looked at each other and spoke at the same time—“the planet is full of life!” And they broke out laughing at their easy synchronicity.
Sage nodded. “Right, plus if the gods helped us, why wouldn’t they help others? Otherwise, why would there be all these stars?” She pointed at Sirius on the eastern horizon. “Tutu says our ancestors came from ʻAʻā a long time ago, so we must have ‘ohana there.”
Her father paused then looked at Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. “To be honest, Sage, science says that’s not possible. Nobody could’ve traveled through space like that so long ago. Certainly not whales. We can barely do it now. And science is the truth.”
“Maybe they’re smarter than us?” she shot back.
Then, seeing the despair on her face. “Well, maybe you’re right. Maybe the old legends are true, and the ancient Hawaiians came from the stars. At least in spirit.”
Sage jumped up and hugged him “Cool, I hope they surf. I can’t wait to meet ’em someday.” Then she creased her brow again. “But how can science and the Hawaiian legends both be true if they disagree?”
He held her hand and looked into her eyes in the star-lit night. “Maybe they weren’t meant to agree. I mean, science can teach us what’s out there,” he said pointing to the stars in the sky. “But not what’s in here.” He placed his open palm over his heart. “You have to believe in some things because there’s so much we don’t know. We have so much to learn. You need to have faith that the truth will reveal itself. Perhaps someday we’ll understand that they are connected in some amazing way.”