As they walked to their car, Emily heard her name called across the parking lot. She looked up to see Charity from the PT clinic waving both arms to get her attention. She wore purple scrubs, indicating that she’d just gotten off work.
Emily waved back, a feeling of dread the size of an avocado in her stomach. She glanced at Xavier. Her life with him had been separate from her life before. Even more so now that they lived at the cabin. A collision didn’t sound like a good thing.
“Oh my gosh! We’ve all been so worried about you.” Charity hugged her tight. “No one has seen you around or heard anything. What’s going on with the case?”
Emily did her best to keep a smile on her face. She’d decided not to bring all her baggage into this marriage and that Roger would not taint her little family, so she hadn’t told Xavier a thing about it.
“You’ll never guess what happened.” Emily hopped on her toes, the picture of a woman who had the most exciting news to share. “I got married!” She held up her left hand and flashed her ring. It wasn’t a large ring, but it wasn’t a pin either. “I’m a full-time mom now and loving every minute of it.”
Xavier cleared his throat. She ignored him. She didn’t want Charity becoming chummy or sticking around too long, and she had the ability to make small chat for hours.
“Life’s been so busy, I haven’t had time to come visit, but I will soon.” She gave Charity another hug. “I’m so glad you stopped. Bye.” She turned quickly and ushered Cody into the back seat, clicking his restraints in place. All the while, she monitored Xavier. He didn’t linger to talk to Charity but climbed behind the wheel.
Charity hurried into the chain salon. Emily breathed a sigh of relief.
She joined Xavier in the front seat and settled in. “I need to get some almond milk for this recipe I want to try. Will you remind me?”
He looked at her for a moment before answering. “Sure.”
She prayed he wouldn’t ask about the strange conversation or the case. In truth, she’d hardly thought about it the last couple of days. But seeing Charity again brought it all back with force. This must be what her counselor had called a trigger. He’d said that things or moments would bring the memory to the surface. She checked her hands. They weren’t shaking—so that was a good sign.
Xavier started the car. She dug out her phone and began making a shopping list, doing her best to pretend that conversation hadn’t taken place.
“Was that someone from your old job?” Xavier asked as he pulled away from a stop sign.
“Yeah.” She flapped her hand dismissively. “Just an acquaintance. We didn’t work that closely together.”
“She seemed worried about you …” His leading statement was a question she didn’t want to answer.
“Well, I quit suddenly and dropped off the face of the earth. I didn’t exactly tell them I had answered your ad in the paper.” She smiled, but inside she shriveled away from the lies of omission. Part of her thought she should tell him, and the other part told her to keep her mouth shut. She didn’t want Xavier to see her as a victim. And the whole experience made her feel dirty. She knew she wasn’t; she knew that Roger was the one with the problem and that she hadn’t done anything to invite him to touch her. Still, the sense that he’d darkened a part of her lingered in the back of her mind.
“Ground turkey,” she blurted. “I think we should have tacos one night this week.”
Xavier nodded. “Sounds good.”
She continued to focus on her phone, shutting off any more conversation that didn’t revolve around groceries.
15
Xavier
Xavier pushed the cart up and down the aisles while Emily stacked it with more food than they could eat in a month. If he’d been shopping, they would have hit the frozen foods aisle and called it a day. Not Emily. She lingered in the produce, smelling melons and checking the bottom of strawberry cartons for bruised fruit. She bought organic and non-GMO items.
She was super-focused on shopping—turning it into an Olympic sport. Whatever the issue had been with her ex-coworker, she didn’t want to talk about it. So why did he feel the need to push her, to uncover her secret? He should give her space to work through things. Her life before they were married was her own. But he had this feeling that there was something lingering. In the couple of weeks they’d spent together, he didn’t once feel like she was dishonest with him—but she was hiding something about her last job. In his gut, he knew it wasn’t anything that would jeopardize him or Cody. But it had affected Emily. And he cared about her enough to ask.
Emily picked up a bag of marshmallows and added them to the cart.
He’d seen her bristle at the sucker the hairstylist gave Cody earlier, so he had to ask, “Aren’t those pure sugar?”
She smiled easily, and he was grateful she didn’t get defensive. “Cody’s doing great.” They both smiled at him sitting in the basket, surrounded by groceries while watching a show on Xavier’s phone. “I didn’t like that she didn’t ask first. There are tons of kids out there with food allergies and sensitivities. I think people should be more aware. I’m planning a vegetarian dinner tomorrow night; he can have some carbs after that.”
Xavier agreed. “He spends so much time outside now. I think he’s going to become part of the forest one of these days.” Besides bike rides, they hiked and swam in the pool and played a game that included throwing the tennis ball against the garage.
She hip-bumped him. “That’s the idea.”
He chuckled. “We need to get body wash too—he smells like he lives in the forest.” He waved his hand in front of his face and grimaced.
She laughed. “Duly noted.”
They turned the corner and bumped carts with a brunette. Both women screamed like little girls and dashed around the carts to throw their arms around one another. In seconds, they were talking excitedly.
“Your hair looks great.” Emily picked up a strand of the woman’s hair and looked closely. “What did you do?”
“I dyed it a shade darker.”
They continued to laugh and joke. Xavier enjoyed the animation on Emily’s face. He caught the resemblance between the two women, the wide smiles, the apple cheeks, and the slight builds. This had to be her sister.
While he was being completely ignored, it didn’t feel like Emily was doing it on purpose. She was just thrilled to be with Lexi—he’d picked up on her name between the giggles and exclamations and rapidly flowing conversations.
He’d also picked up a large dose of guilt. Obviously these two were close, and yet they hadn’t spent any time together since the wedding. He and Cody had monopolized Emily’s time. She’d immersed herself into their lives, and he’d done nothing to join hers. Maybe if he had, she’d feel more comfortable telling him about her last job.
Cody looked up from the screen. “Who’s that?” he asked Xavier.
Both ladies turned to look at the two of them.
“Oh my gosh!” Lexi exclaimed. “You must be the guy from the ad.” She stuck out her hand, and they shook.
Xavier rolled his eyes. “I’m never going to live that down.”
Emily made introductions. She laughed so easily—it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Which only added another stone to the growing pile of guilt.
Lexi folded her arms. “You know, I tried to talk her out of this whole thing.”
“You should have—” Xavier put his arm around Emily’s shoulders and tugged her close. “She’s way out of my league.” Emily fit against him—like he was made to hold her right there. Her body was warm and soft in all the right places, and he liked holding her close way too much. Before he did something he’d regret, he let her go. He shouldn’t have pushed that far, but he’d wanted to look like a good husband—No! To BE a good husband to Emily.
Lexi’s hand went to her heart, and she melted. “Okay, I’m still not convinced you’re not an ax murderer, but that was really sweet.”
He co
uldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “You and Em are a lot alike.”
“Thanks.” Lexi wrinkled her nose happily. “Now let me talk to my nephew before I burst.”
Emily waved her hands over Cody with a flourish. Lexi grabbed the side of the cart and asked Cody how old he was.
He glanced at both Xavier and Emily before saying. “Six.”
“Goodness, that means you’re reading already.”
His blue eyes lit up. “I read lots.”
“If I bring you a new book, will you read it to me?”
“Sure.” He nodded confidently.
Xavier perked up. Maybe there was a way to make up for his blundering mistake of assuming Emily didn’t have any outside interests besides him and Cody. Seriously, was his head that deep in the sand? “You’re welcome at our house anytime. We’d love to have you over.”
“Thanks.” Lexi ruffled Cody’s hair. “I’ll take you up on that—especially since I want to spend some time with this guy.” She reached for Emily and they hugged. “We need girl talk. I have so much to tell you.”
Emily embraced her tightly before letting go. “I’ll call you tonight.”
“Ta-ta.” Lexi wiggled her fingers, looking back at them as she walked away.
“Ta.” Emily called back. The moment Lexi disappeared from view, Emily seemed to shrink into herself.
Xavier could have smacked his forehead. He had no idea how large her spirit was until he saw how much it was stifled … by him? Was this his fault?
She rubbed her hands up and down her folded arms. “I hope that was okay. I wasn’t sure how much you wanted my family involved in this, and I didn’t want to push them on you.”
“You’re apologizing to me?” He pointed to his chest. “I’m the one who should be begging your forgiveness. I feel like such a jerk dragging you off to the cabin, away from your friends and family. No wonder they worry I’m an ax murderer.”
Emily’s eyes widened. “She was kidding! She doesn’t really think that. I mean, she might have before we got married, but now that she’s met you, I’m sure she’s changed her mind.”
“That’s comforting.” He grabbed onto the cold cart handle and pushed them toward checkout. “Invite her up for dinner—or we’ll meet her someplace. And don’t feel like you have to hang out with us every night. Go do what you would normally do.”
She studied him out of the corner of her eye. “I wanted to be a mom. It’s a full-time gig. I knew that coming into this.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t have to take over who you are.” He lifted both palms. “Besides mountain biking, I’m not sure what you like.” He was a major jerk, spending all his time in the studio and expecting her to pick up the slack. “What’s your favorite movie?”
She twisted her braid around in her fingers. “13 Going on 30.”
He shrugged. “I haven’t seen it.”
She giggled lightly. “It’s not a guy’s movie.”
“Your favorite author?”
“Jane Austen.”
“I’ve at least heard of her.”
They made it to the check stand and began unloading the cart. “What’s your favorite movie?” she asked.
“Rocky.”
She paused with the celery in one hand and carrots in the other. “No way.”
He nodded, keeping his head down. He hadn’t told anyone that in a long time—even before Nora. She was too refined, preferring subtitled videos, and he’d been so smitten, all he’d cared about was holding her hand during the show.
“That’s my dad’s favorite movie.”
He felt his soul smile. “Cool.” Cody got into the spirit of unloading the cart and began to throw yogurts onto the conveyer belt. Xavier managed to grab one before it exploded. “Throw them to me, and I’ll put them on there, okay?” They started a game of catch. He pretended to almost drop the last one, and Cody covered his mouth with his hands and laughed.
Emily planted a kiss on Cody’s hair as she hefted the bag of potatoes.
“Um, speaking of parents.” Xavier took the bag from her. “Mine would like to meet you.”
Her jaw dropped.
“And I’d like to meet yours. I didn’t think this through all the way when I placed the ad—and then I met you, and you were perfect.”
Her cheeks turned a rosy pink.
He hurried to pick up the bag of almond flour. “But if we’re going to be a family, then that means we should include grandparents and aunts and uncles. I mean—if you feel ready for that step. I don’t want to push you.”
The store clerk had her sliver head bent over her task, but her eyes darted back and forth between them. She was probably storing their odd conversation in her brain so she could relate it back to her coworkers in the break room later. Oh well, there wasn’t much he could do about that, and he really wanted to know if Emily felt as close to him, trusted him, as much as he trusted her.
“I feel like we’re on a train moving backward. I should have met your parents before we got married.” She ran her fingers through her hair, moving the stray pieces off her face and tucking them behind her ear. One fell out, and he reached up and tucked it back in without thinking about what he was doing. He’d promised himself that he would maintain physical boundaries, but he’d done a lousy job of that today.
“My parents are chill,” he offered. At least, Dad would be. Who knew what Mom was going to do? “You adore their grandchild, so you have something pretty big in common.”
She smiled down at Cody, who had gone back to watching his movie. “I can totally see that the way to his grandma’s heart is right through those chubby cheeks.”
“What if I invite them out for a visit for a couple days?”
She blanched. “I’m sleeping in the guest room. Won’t that seem weird?”
The checker perked up and then ducked her head quickly again.
Xavier did his best not to smile. She was getting an earful today. “I already told Dad about our arrangement.”
“Great! They probably think I’m crazy.” Emily dug through her purse and handed a credit card to the cashier.
“Actually, they were so hung up on my decision to marry a stranger that they didn’t think about your motives.” She made a face, and he chuckled. “I’m glad you’re not too serious or stressed about this—it’s nice to talk to you about things.” He brushed her hand. “You’re very easy to have a conversation with.”
“You too. That could have been a lot more uncomfortable. Maybe we’re getting the hang of this whole marriage thing.” She took her card back and smiled at the cashier, who smiled as if she hadn’t heard a word.
He took her hand as they walked out, pushing the cart with his other. “You need to know that you’re probably my best friend.”
She laughed. “Well, then you should probably know that I like to ride the grocery cart to the car.” She let go of his hand and jumped on the bottom bar with both feet. Cody looked up, and his face brightened.
Xavier grinned. Putting one hand on either side of Emily, he broke into a run. Her laughter pealed through the parking lot, drawing stares, but he didn’t care. Let them look. Let them see his beautiful wife and his happy son giggling and being silly. As his heart expanded to allow Emily deeper inside, the words of a song slammed into his thoughts.
A girl I can laugh with
Who always brings a smile
I’ll give you an inch of my love
Hoping you’ll take a mile.
Love. Funny, that word. There was a lot attached to it when the songs he wrote were so simple. Boy meets girl. Boy is blown away by her. Boy loves her.
Simple, right? But real life wasn’t a country music ballad. In real life, a man had to keep his love for a woman close to his heart, because there was more than his heart at stake. He had Cody to consider. And as he watched his son throw his arms around Emily as she lifted him from the grocery cart and then blew raspberries into his neck, making him laugh until his face turned red, he knew h
e couldn’t mess up his marriage by falling in love with his wife. Love didn’t have any guarantees—hence the other 45% of the songs he wrote that dealt with broken hearts. The only way to ensure Emily stuck around was to be her friend. That he could do—even if his whole body yelled that it wanted to hold her close and make her his 100% wife.
Shoot, there was another song idea, and he was at least an hour away from the studio.
Emily came up beside him and took the keys out of his hand. “I’ll drive. You write.”
“But—”
“You’re in music mode.” She smiled, totally at ease with his quirky mind and need to follow his muse. “It’s fine. Cody will sleep, and I’ll put a book on tape. Your headphones are in the side console.”
His firm resolve to stay just friends seriously wavered. But he managed to wrestle it back into submission and not kiss her right there in Ted’s Grocery parking lot. Barely.
Maybe he’d encourage his parents to get there sooner rather than later. Surely their presence would help him keep his thoughts about his wife in line.
16
Emily
Emily gave the dining room table a critical once-over. The bright yellow table runner looked beautiful against the walnut wood, and the glass vase full of pinecones and acorns—collected by her and Cody that very morning—was a natural addition.
The game hens were in the roaster, done but staying warm. The brown rice stuffing with cranberries and thyme rested in the serving dish in a 170-degree oven. She’d prepared and chilled a Mediterranean orange salad. Cody finished putting the last popover on the bread plates. The food would be divine—she’d pulled out all the stops for her first meal with her new in-laws.
So why was she so nervous?
She and Xavier were already married—it shouldn’t matter if his parents approved of her.
Except that it did.
The Cowboy Songwriter's Fake Marriage Page 9