“Attacker?” Ara asked. “Someone tried to harm you beside the river?”
“We were, ah…in the water.” Fen raised his eyebrow at Anna, uncertain he should reveal her troubles. She sighed but gave him a subtle nod. “I jumped in after Anna when the water’s pull became too strong. Once we surfaced, we chatted for a moment. But as we were swimming back to shore, someone grabbed my foot and pulled me under. Anna helped me escape.”
Vek’s eyes narrowed. “It could have been him. Meren’s power is water, a talent he used to sneak past our shielding and into our room. Perhaps Ara is correct. The Unseelie palace is heavily protected against the Seelie. You should go there while we track Meren down.”
Fen sucked in a breath through his nose and let it out in a long stream. Unfortunately, it didn’t help him find his calm. “Shall I grab a teddy bear and huddle in the nursery for safety, oh wise elders?” he asked with exaggerated formality. “If I’m good, perhaps I’ll be given permission to have dinner with the adults.”
“What in the hell is wrong with you?” Vek demanded as fury tightened Ara’s face.
Ara stepped closer. “Feniarathen an Arafel, you will not use such a tone with me.”
“Why not?” Fen lifted a shoulder. “You can say my full name, but you can’t say much else about me. As far as I can remember, this is the second time in my life that I’ve seen you. Don’t pretend I have a reason to care about your sudden desire to mother me.”
“Fen.” Vek gave a subtle shake of his head. “You shouldn’t forget that Ara is also the queen.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Fen snorted, focusing his anger on Vek. “I have to stay in line, or I won’t be allowed to return to my homeland. Gotta prove myself worthy. Can’t cause a fuss. You know what? I don’t care. No matter how hard I try to atone, you and Dria don’t trust me. You, my mother, and the entire royal family…you’ll never see me as anything but a fuck up. Hell, maybe you’re right. But I can’t play this game anymore. I need to find my own place on my own terms, and I am more than capable of doing so.”
His mother could have carved out an entire cave system with the expression on her face. “You agreed to work with Vek. If you refuse—”
“Send out your assassins, then,” Fen said. Anna sidled closer, her side brushing against his arm, but not even her peace could soothe him. This had been a long time coming. He and Vek had started to grow closer, but their budding camaraderie would never survive without respect. Nor could Fen ever feel he’d earned his place amongst the Unseelie if his position was given grudgingly. “I refuse to be treated like a potential liability. When Vek and Dria can stop eyeing me like I might turn bad and my mother can stop treating me like I’m still the baby she never raised, then I’ll consider returning.”
“You are my heir,” Ara ground out.
Fen was half-surprised she didn’t open a sinkhole beneath his feet. “Giving me a title won’t make up for a childhood full of nightmares, and being overprotective now won’t, either.”
“He’s right,” Vek said suddenly—and with no hint of his usual sardonic humor. “At least on my part. I hadn’t intended to treat him that way, but I can see that I have.”
Fen peered into his uncle’s shadowed gaze. “Then you’ll understand why this is necessary. I need time, and I’m going to take it. But I’m not an idiot. Now that I’ve been warned about Meren, I’ll take extra precautions. I know I can survive alone. It’s time you know it, too.”
He didn’t wait for confirmation. Brushing past Vek and Ara, Fen strode out of the room and down the hall. He hadn’t accumulated many belongings, so it didn’t take long to pack his bag once he’d entered his bedroom. A few changes of clothes, his travel kit full of toiletries, a sack full of gemstones he’d coaxed from the earth when he had the chance—they were the only things he bothered to take with him everywhere he moved.
From the other room, he heard Vek’s and Ara’s raised voices, but he didn’t bother to listen to the useless argument. It wouldn’t change anything. He couldn’t let it. He had to stand on his own, even if Meren killed him. Fen couldn’t deny that the Seelie man was a threat, but cowering behind others would be its own horrible death.
A flash of movement caught his eye. Anna. Fen slung his bag over his shoulder and turned to face her. Gods, she probably thought he was insane. He’d just told off two of the most powerful people he knew and left a mentorship he truly needed. Could she see that not even learning more about his Felshreh bloodline was worth dealing with their scorn?
Her expression gave nothing away, but her words slashed at him. “If you need time away, then what about me and Maddy?”
Fen scraped his fingers through his hair. “I’m not running away, especially not from you. Sorry, Anna. I wasn’t thinking about how you might take that. But those two…”
“Yeah,” Anna said. Her tension easing, she slipped inside and closed the door behind her. “I get it. It seemed like a good idea to find out how alone you want your alone time, though. You said you wanted to find your own place. I’d offer you our couch until you do, but I’m not sure how you’d feel about it.”
Suddenly, Fen wasn’t sure, either. Maddy and Anna deserved an equal, not a scrounger who couldn’t get his shit together. Relying on others had become too much of a habit. “If I did stay at your place, it would only be for a night. Depends on what I can find on short notice.”
Anna drew close enough to take his hand. “It’s like me not taking money from Maddy, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” For the first time since he’d walked in to Ara’s pronouncement, Fen smiled. “It’s exactly like that.”
She twined her fingers with his. “Come on, then. Let’s go apartment hunting. If you want company?”
That, he found, was an offer he couldn’t refuse.
Chapter 15
After a rather unusual dinner, Maddy followed Lial along a series of trails situated between the trees. It was rather like a garden, but there were few things blooming at the moment. The area was beautiful, regardless. Here and there, ornamental benches or little decorative statues of wildlife she’d never seen peeked out of arbors or between carefully maintained bushes. Everything was designed to appear natural, but to someone who’d grown up around uncultivated woods, the subtle artifice stood out.
The forest as seen in fairytales. How apt.
“So tell me, Maddy,” Lial began. “What did you think of dinner?”
“It was…” How did she describe its peculiarity without being rude? “It was an interesting experience.”
Lial chuckled. “One could say that. Personally, I was thinking more absurd than interesting. A comedy worthy of a mid-winter festival.”
“You mean it isn’t usually so…”
“Colorful?” Lial turned between a pair of hedges and followed the trail to a small, round building. “It has been more so in recent months, though I rarely join the others enough to experience the scope of it. I’m surprised more people haven’t started avoiding meals after some of the recent food experiments.”
Maddy tried not to think about the unusual food and the stomach upset it had caused as she followed the healer into the building. A special training tower, he’d said. Magic here apparently didn’t need many tools, since there was nothing inside except for a handful of cushions in the center of the floor and a table shoved up against the far wall. But power tickled across her skin as Lial closed the door and activated the shielding.
A safe place to practice, then.
“Do you know what tonight’s dinner was supposed to be?” Lial asked, sitting on one of the center cushions.
Maddy shook her head as she followed suit. “Kai said pizza, but I have my doubts. The crust isn’t supposed to be almost as thick as a bread loaf, the cheese was far too sharp, and the sauce…” She shuddered. “The vegetable they thought was close to a tomato isn’t close enough.”
Lial smiled. “We need a cook from Earth to work with ours, I suppose.”
“Don’t lo
ok at me.” Maddy wrinkled her nose. “Anna’s the domestic one. If she’d been here, I wouldn’t have a stomachache.”
“You are feeling ill? Good.”
“Gee, thanks,” Maddy muttered.
The healer had been reserved during dinner but not rude. Honestly, her heart had warmed to see how carefully he avoided speaking to Lady Lynia, though he’d tried to keep it casual so that others wouldn’t notice. Everyone, of course, noticed. The lady in question had studied him more than once, varying degrees of annoyance and sadness pinching her face, and several of the others had exchanged amused glances and wry smiles when the healer wasn’t looking.
After all that, Lial’s return to brusqueness was a bit of a shock.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” the healer grumbled. “It will give you something within yourself to analyze. I want to examine your technique and see where things are going wrong.”
Maddy rested her suddenly trembling hands in her lap. “I can scan myself without trouble and am getting fairly reliable about examining others. It’s trying to fix the problem that’s often a disaster.”
Lial extended his hands and waited patiently until she settled her palms against his. “Then let us link, and you can attempt to fix the unrest in your stomach from the unfamiliar food. I will prevent your magic from doing harm if it begins to go awry.”
“Okay.”
She didn’t dare ask how he would accomplish such a feat—she could only take it on faith if she hoped to keep her courage. After sucking in a deep breath, Maddy closed her eyes and opened her mind to the healer’s presence. A shadow of his power washed across her, enough to ease the tension knotting her muscles but not so much that it felt like he was taking over. With that hint of peace, she could move forward with more confidence.
Maddy finally allowed her own power to unfurl, if only a little. Slowly, she ran her magic through her body, checking everywhere just in case. All perfect, save her elevated heartrate and aching stomach. Her pulse, she knew, was high from nerves and well within range, so she shifted her focus almost at once.
In theory, her stomach problems should have been easy to fix. The bread had contained more fiber than she was used to, and the cheese had a higher protein content, overwhelming her body’s ability to break down the food quickly. Boosting the proper enzymes and drinking more water would do the trick. She could do that. No problem.
Hah.
Tentatively, Maddy directed her magic into her stomach, concentrating the energy on the task she had in mind—enzyme production. Almost immediately, pain stabbed through her abdomen, and she swallowed down the bile that rose up her throat. With a frustrated groan, she released her hold on her magic and tried to breathe through the pain.
It lasted only a moment. Lial’s power flared, and every trace of discomfort vanished.
It had only taken a fucking heartbeat for him to accomplish what she clearly couldn’t.
“I believe I see the problem,” the healer said. “It’s your human blood interfering.”
Stiffening, Maddy jerked her hands from his and glared at him. “That’s rude.”
His eyebrow shot up. “I was not offering insult. It was a true statement. As with Arlyn, there is a component of will magic twined with your Sidhe healing powers.”
She’d met Arlyn at dinner but didn’t know much about her except that she was the half-human daughter of Lord Lyr who’d found her way to Moranaia—and him—some months before. “I’m not sure what will magic is, and I’m not familiar enough with the lady in question to figure it out. Is she a healer?”
“No,” Lial said. “A mage-in-training. That part is irrelevant. To answer the question you’re truly asking, will magic is as simple and as difficult as it sounds. You direct your energy with the force of your will, much the same way a priest focuses prayers. As the mage Selia explained to me, humans have honed the talent in the absence of strong energy. You gather what you can, concentrate it, and send it to manifest your goal.”
Maddy frowned. She’d heard pagans mention something like that when talking about their ritual circles. Combining their energy and prayers and focusing them on a specific task—a way to guide the universe in the direction a person wanted. Really, people in other religions often did something similar when they centered their prayers on common causes. She hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it, though, and how often it did or didn’t work.
“How does that mess me up?” she asked.
Lial smiled, but there was no hint of condescension on his face. “Have you studied anatomy? This is not a question formed in judgement. I need to know your knowledge base.”
“I tried my hand at nursing school, but the classes brought back bad memories.” Maddy pulled her hands from his and returned them to her lap. The low hum of his peaceful energy faded, but she hadn’t wanted to unintentionally share her pain at the coming confession. “When I was a teenager, I almost killed a friend of mine from school. She had pneumonia, and I thought I could fix it. I sent my energy in and told it to repair, but the opposite happened. I still don’t know what I did.”
“Hmm.” The healer pursed his lips. “I would wager you accidentally repaired the attacking virus. Knowledge of the body and of disease is vital for any healer, but for you, it is literal life-and-death. Entwined with will, your power needs exact directions. Today, you didn’t specify which enzymes to boost, upsetting the delicate balance in your gut.”
So simple but so complicated. “Looks like I have a lot of studying in my future.”
“I’m certain Lynia would help you find suitable books, and if you can’t read Moranaian as well as you speak it, I have a spell that can help.” Lial sighed. “Otherwise, you must work on your confidence, first by letting go of the past. Healers make mistakes, Maddy. It is a terrible burden, our job, but one that does far more good than the opposite. You’ll have to accept the risk and the responsibility or forego your healing gift.”
The haunted look in his eyes told a story beyond his words. Lial understood. Truly understood. Maddy had received her fair share of sympathy and compassion from those few who had learned about what she’d almost done, but they’d never experienced quite what she had. Lial, though… He had walked that line of life and death and regret for far longer. No wonder his demeanor was prickly. There was always a cost, after all.
“I’ll do my best,” Maddy said.
And she would.
Defeated by veritable children. Not new, but just as appalling as the last time.
Meren gripped his hair in his fist and slipped the sharp blade beneath, slicing the long, tangled mass of it free. He shook his head and smiled at the lighter weight. Nobles in the Seelie court typically wore their hair long as a sign of status, but nothing would return to him the status he had lost. Nothing save his ascension to power.
Perhaps he would start a new style.
He had a feeling he would spend a great deal of time in the water, attempting to draw the woman to him, and he would not have his own hair be his downfall again. The woman had to be the key to Fen. If Meren could draw her to him beneath the waves and transport her away, it would be nearly impossible to trace, and that clearly required greater stealth. Then he could use her as a lure whenever it was convenient. He’d almost succeeded this time before Fen had arrived.
A diversion. That was what he needed. If he could find something to distract the young blood elf while the woman was near the river, Meren could grab her without interference. Unfortunately, Fen was under the protection of Vek, and the Unseelie prince would be able to sense Meren despite his cloaking spell if he got too close.
The plan would take much care, but Meren would succeed.
He was the son of a savvy king, after all, a secret he’d hidden for millennia. A few more months would be nothing for him.
As soon as Anna walked through the jewelry store entrance, she knew that going in with Fen had been a terrible idea. But it was too late now. Maddy’s mother Angela had already seen her, and
from the woman’s sour expression, she’d noticed at once that Anna was close to Fen. God knew what kind of gossip Angela would throw at Maddy as soon as she could. Still, Fen needed a reliable place to sell some of his gems, and Shayan, Maddy’s father, was a jeweler who frequently bought gemstones and precious metals from fae who needed assistance—provided he had the proper introduction.
Fortunately, Shayan came around the counter and rushed over to greet them before Angela could say anything. Despite the magic he used to conceal his true nature, Shayan looked every inch a Seelie Sidhe, from his tall, graceful form to the long, red-gold hair he wore pulled back from his handsome face. Anna had seen him a time or two without the glamour that added a hint of age to his appearance, and the man had practically glowed with light and life.
Why he stayed here with Maddy’s unpleasant mother she couldn’t imagine.
“Anna!” Shayan said, pulling her in for a quick hug. “It is a pleasure to see you. Have you finally brought Fen to meet us?”
“How did you know…” Fen began.
“Your name? An assumption, I confess.” Shayan grinned. “Maddy called me before she left for Moranaia and said Anna might be hanging around a lad named Fen. An interesting situation you have there for certain.”
Behind the counter, Angela stood, her eyes narrowing. Anna tugged Fen a little closer to Shayan and lowered her voice. “What did Maddy tell her mother?”
The Sidhe man’s jovial expression slipped. “Not much. As touchy as Angela has been, Maddy didn’t want to talk about it before she had to leave. Forgive me. I should have thought before I brought it up.”
“No need to whisper,” Angela called. “I know you’ve been keeping stuff from me.”
Shayan winced sheepishly before he turned. “Beloved—”
“Anna left Maddy for a man, didn’t she? This man.”
A choked cough slipped from Fen before he covered his mouth with his fist, but Anna was too stunned to make a sound. Was it her imagination, or did Angela look…angry? The woman’s pinched lips were curved down as she glared, and she’d dropped her clenched fists to her hips, leaving her elbows sticking out like spears. It didn’t make sense. Angela hated Anna so much that she refused to invite her to most family events. Why wasn’t she happy?
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