No Broken Beast

by Snow, Nicole

  They both look at us oddly, Gray tiredly knowing. Ember just seems puzzled as the kid looks up and smiles. “Hi, Ms. Ember.”

  Ember offers a nervous, sunshine smile, leaning on Gray. “Hi, Zach.”

  Yeah, that’s his name. He’d told me in the cellar.

  Zach.

  And as he lifts his head, waving at Ember with a friendly, gap-toothed smile, for just a moment the light pierces his glasses instead of reflecting off them.

  His eyes are dark till the light hits them. But when it shines right into his irises, they turn a faint shade of clear, translucent purple.

  My heart drops down to my goddamned knees and then slams back up in my throat.

  What. The. Fuck?

  I stare at the kid. My kid?

  Holy shit. It can’t be. But I’ve never, ever seen anyone with eyes like mine.

  Trust me, I’ve looked.

  Any time I could get anywhere with internet access, I’ve looked, tried to figure out where I came from, who I was before Dr. Ross took me out of my foster home and turned me into this.

  I wanted to find out who gave birth to me. Who gave me up.

  Instead, all I found was a blank, terrible emptiness. Next to sterile facts like how rare violet eyes are, and sometimes how prized.

  There’s a reason Liz Taylor made such a splash.

  Yeah. It could be a coincidence, but the odds, his age, my time with Rissa...

  Fuck.

  Fuck my life, I have a kid.

  A son Clarissa never told me about.

  Jaw so tight it might break, my gaze darts to her. I’m almost choking, trying to process this behind my mask, my entire brain and body just shutting the fuck down while I try to make myself grasp what’s happening.

  It’s not all her fault. Even if she’d been able to find me, I wouldn’t have wanted her to.

  Doesn’t change the present. I want to bark questions: how, why, when?

  But now’s not the time.

  While I stand there fucking dumbstruck, looking between Rissa and Zach, Gray starts off matter-of-factly, “So, we should probably make sure everyone’s on the same page.”

  Ember smiles faintly. “I think, as the newcomer, I’m the only one really in the dark. Right?”

  Not quite.

  I think some of us have been in the damn dark about some very important shit.

  Snarling, I take a deep breath, trying to pull myself together. Clarissa must’ve had her reasons. Everything that happened when she fled Heart’s Edge, I know it had to be hard on her.

  Shit. Should I even bring it up? Or just wait till she’s ready to tell me herself?

  Will she ever be ready?

  Goddamn. Now that I look at Zach, I can see myself in him.

  That same crooked gap in his teeth...mine straightened out as I grew and my jawbones realigned. Something about the set of his jaw, too, and his smile. He’s got her pale skin, her mahogany hair, her little nose, but my eyes.

  His features are a blend of hers and mine. It’s as unmistakable as it is uncanny.

  Breathe, dammit, I tell myself. Focus.

  Dragging my attention back to Gray, I listen as he tells Ember, “To keep this brief, Firefly, it would take the equivalent of a natural disaster to bring Ms. Bell back to Heart’s Edge. It started years ago. Before the incident with Galentron that led to my recent dustup with Peters and his crew, Leo was forced to intervene to save Ms. Bell from her own father. In the fighting, Mayor Bell died. Leo’s been vilified for that ever since as the monster they call Nine, especially after escaping prison. But the rumors around that incident have marked the Bell family. It’s not a name many say around these parts anymore.”

  I could fucking kill Gray.

  As far as I know—and from the way she’s staring at me—Clarissa has no clue I’d been in prison.

  That’s something I’d rather have told her myself, on my own terms.

  Still, we don’t have time to be delicate.

  Ember gasps, sucking a breath, staring between us. “Oh, Clarissa, I had no idea! I’m so sorry.”

  Clarissa just smiles tightly. “There’s a reason I try to keep a low profile here. Honestly, the rumors aren’t as bad as the truth, considering everything my father was involved in with Galentron. I’d rather have people making up tall tales than be hurt, knowing what really happened.”

  “But that’s likely why Deanna was taken,” I say, struggling to keep my mind on the present. “For knowing the truth. And now we’ve got ourselves a real problem. Didn’t take that sniper long at all to pop up in the middle of town. Tells me they’re watching us. And they know someone’s up to something.”

  “But who?” Gray asks, a touch of frustration in his voice. “Is this about Fuchsia’s little games with going public? Or about something else with Deanna?”

  Everyone looks at Rissa like she might have an answer, but she shakes her head sharply. “I don’t know. I told her to just let things lie and move on. I thought she’d done that when she focused her attention on the store.” She makes a frustrated sound, raking her hair back from her face. “God, I never should’ve let her open a store back here, let alone left her to manage it. I should’ve sent her off to Bellingham like we planned.”

  “It’s not fair that you have to hide,” I growl. “I manage in the shadows. No one else should have to.” I shake my head. “We need Fuchsia. She taunted me into making an appearance today. She knows more than she lets on.”

  “The problem,” Gray points out, “is that she’s been arrested. Somehow, I don’t think Langley will grant our interview request lightly.”

  “Fu—” I catch myself, glancing at the kid. My kid. I still can’t stop thinking that, my mind rabbiting in circles around it. “...fudge.”

  That actually gets a little laugh from Rissa. It’s tired, with an edge of fear and frustration, but it’s there. Damn, I’m drawn to her, lingering on the curve of her lips, wishing I could give her more reason to smile.

  But Haley and Warren stomping into the back room gives me a good reason to look away and try to focus myself again.

  They get the same run down, mostly for Haley’s benefit, before Warren shakes his head. “Listen, clearly Clarissa’s a target. I’ll go get her car from—where did you leave it?”

  “The diner,” Clarissa tells him. “Zach and I walked to the plaza from there.”

  “No worries. I’ll grab it. Let ’em target me for a bit, while Hay takes you and Zach back to the inn,” Warren says. “Since you’re in one of the new cabins, I think you should be fine—it’s isolated there. Hell, most folks don’t even know any of the new construction’s been finished.”

  I don’t like it. I should be the one protecting Rissa and her belongings.

  Before I can stop myself, I bite off, “Isolation’s a problem.”

  Gray frowns. “How so?”

  “Can’t see those cabins from the inn. Out there alone, Clarissa and Zach could disappear and no one would know it for days. No one to see her being taken. Nobody to hear her crying for help.” When her face goes pale, I grunt, lowering my eyes. “Sorry. I’m not trying to make you freak. Just saying you need security.”

  Suddenly, everyone’s looking at me.

  Everyone except Rissa. And it dawns on me what I’ve just volunteered myself for.

  Shit.

  If I’ve been in purgatory, I think I just crashed down to a lower, personal level of hell.

  Standing watch over the woman I couldn’t let go, with the kid she never told me about, when she’s glaring down at the floor like she can’t even stand to look me in the eye.

  God damn it.

  I’m the only one who can do it without drawing suspicion, though. If Gray, Warren, or Blake skip out on their jobs to stand watch, they’ll lead anyone watching straight to her.

  Me, I’m already a ghost.

  Nowhere for me to disappear from. Nowhere to disappear to.

  I start to speak, then stop. Because there’s something
strange about how Warren looks at me. Like he’s seeing me for the first time.

  He knows I’m not the danger, the beast everyone thinks I am. He knows.

  He was there with us when we joined Gray to save Ember and her family not so long ago. Warren might not know everything, but he knows enough.

  He just doesn’t know we met long before that.

  He doesn’t know the scarred, broken man standing in front of him is the Tiger from his childhood.

  But the odd, questioning way he’s looking at me says he’s getting a hint of an inkling.

  I look away, avoiding his eyes, grinding my teeth with a nod.

  Right. Stick to the present.

  “I’m on it. Should be me, anyway,” I say.

  No denying it. I made this mess.

  It’s only right that I should do everything I can to clean it up.

  But when Clarissa snaps her head up, fixing me with a fierce look, her lips trembling, I wonder if there’s anything I can ever do to truly fix this.

  Or am I just damned forever?

  7

  Begins With a Single Step (Clarissa)

  Everything’s happening too fast.

  One second, I’m having brunch with my son.

  The next, I’m running from a sniper, locked away with my outlaw ex, then somehow, I’m a target when we still don’t know how to find Deanna, and I hate the idea of being shuttled away, cooped up and passive and just waiting around. Even worse, the insanity at the plaza will probably shuffle Deedee’s case even further down the cops’ priorities.

  I need to do something.

  Instead, I’m standing at the cabin’s window, looking out over the dark silhouettes of the trees. A second later, I see the faint orange glimmer about a dozen yards out, and the glimpses of movement that tell me Leo’s out there somewhere.

  Watching. Waiting.

  I let out a sigh. One thing’s for sure, this has been a long damn day.

  After what happened, I don’t even know if I’m dealing with Leo at all.

  Has this masked madman thing called Nine taken him over? Has he become someone and something I no longer understand?

  He’s been in prison. The little girl’s article tipped me off, but his friend Doc confirmed it.

  Why? For my father’s death? For something else, some secret with Galentron I don’t even know?

  Is that why he covers himself so no one sees his face? So he can’t be identified? Is there something else hiding behind the mask?

  “Mom?” Zach comes up to my side, looking outside with me. “Is the monster out there in the woods?”

  “He’s not a monster, baby,” I murmur absently.

  He’s your father.

  Jesus. It’s right on the tip of my tongue. It’s been there ever since Leo looked at me today with so many questions swirling in his eyes.

  Zach curls his hand in the crook of my arm and leans his head against my side. “It’s okay if he’s a monster, Mom. I think he’s a nice one.”

  I smile faintly. “Yeah? Where’d you get that idea?”

  “He protected us today, didn’t he?”

  “Well. Yeah, he did.” I rest my hand gently on top of Zach’s head. “He’s protecting us right now. That’s why he’s around. He will be for a while.”

  Zach frowns. “How long is a while?”

  “I don’t know, baby.”

  “But...I have to go back to school Monday.”

  Crap.

  He’s right.

  But I can’t leave Heart’s Edge. I can’t leave without finding Deanna.

  I love my son more than life itself, but I love my sister, too. Even so, I can’t neglect his education.

  I bite at my thumbnail, turning that over, staring at the orange flame flickering in the distance. “We’ll get you a tutor, ZZ-boy,” I say after a minute. “Honestly? I don’t know how long we’ll be here.”

  Zach frowns, looking puzzled. “Are we moving here?”

  “No,” I say vehemently.

  Then a growling voice at my back says, “You shouldn’t.”

  I nearly fly right out of my skin, whirling—and instinctively grasp Zach and push him behind me, making him squeak.

  Breathing hard, I stare up at Leo.

  Sweet Jesus. How does a man this large move so quietly?

  He’s as stealthy as the lion he’s named for. Silent and powerful, but there’s something different about the way he moves now. He was always strong, lithe, handling his bulk with an easy grace, but now he prowls, like the animal inside him has taken over and lent him a sort of beastly sensuality.

  Something I shouldn’t be thinking about. Especially when those deep, dark amethyst eyes look down, flicking between me and Zach, asking what I really think he’ll do to my son.

  Asking if I trust him that little.

  No. It’s not that at all.

  It’s just that, after losing Deanna, of course I’m on edge. Truly terrified of anyone taking my son away from me.

  But after I manage to catch my breath, calm my racing heart, and straighten up, loosening my grip on Zach, I finally ask, “What do you mean, shouldn’t?”

  There’s movement behind the mask that makes me think Leo’s arching his brows. “Are you saying you want to? Settle down here in town again?”

  “No,” I say, almost spitting it back.

  No flipping way. There are far too many bad memories here.

  But, there are good ones, too.

  That’s why this place feels like a torture chamber. Worse, it feels like the better parts still live inside those eyes watching me so strangely and steadily.

  His eyes shutter as he looks away. Distant, quiet, before he growls, “If you want a tutor, they’ll have to be cleared. Full background check, credentials, the works. Start looking for someone tomorrow.”

  I bristle. I’ve never liked anyone giving me orders, especially since my father.

  “Um, that’s not your decision,” I snap.

  “You—” He stops, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I know. Screw it. I’m just on edge, same as everybody.”

  “Yeah, well...me too.” Now it’s my turn to look away, swallowing thickly, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’m just worried there’s no one qualified in Heart’s Edge. Zach’s reading at more than twice his age level. He’s real smart.”

  Zach grins and bounces on his toes.

  Smart like you, I want to say. Those same weird intuitive leaps you make.

  And there’s a rigid tension in Leo’s shoulders as he stretches, thinking. “Bring in somebody from Missoula. I wouldn’t recommend a local. Tales grow in the telling. Would someone tutoring at the high school level do?”

  “Probably. As long as they get that he’s got a brain like a high school freshman, but the emotional IQ of a seven-year-old.”

  Zach lets out an exasperated sigh, propping his hands on his hips, then pushes his glasses up with one finger. “He’s right here, Mom, you know.”

  “I know, kidlet, but you can’t fall behind. It’s already going to be tricky explaining to your school and getting them to let you make up tests and homework.”

  Wrinkling his nose, Zach says, “Aw, seriously? I have to do homework on vacation?”

  “It’s not really a vacation,” I say, wincing.

  Leo’s face shifts behind the mask again, and from the glitter in his eyes I’d swear he was smiling. “Listen. I hated homework when I was a kid, too. If I find you a tutor you like, will you do your work if I help you?”

  Zach’s eyes go wide with delight. It’s exactly the right bait.

  To Zach, Leo’s like this mythical monster-man. A legend standing right here in front of him, offering to help with his freaking homework.

  If that’s not enticing to a little boy, I don’t know what is. It’s like he’s got his own personal Sully.

  “Yeah!” he says breathlessly, bouncing on his toes. “That’s great, Mr. Nine!”

  A raspy sound rises from the ba
ck of Leo’s throat, a deep chuckle. “You can just call me Nine.”

  He should be calling you Dad, I think bitterly, and ugh it’s on the tip of my tongue. Again.

  Something about seeing them like this. The way Leo just gets Zach on such an instinctive level.

  If things were different, he’d make a great father.

  Would he even want to be, though?

  It’s been so many years, and they haven’t been kind to him. I don’t even know what’s happened to change him into the huge, dark slab of bundled muscle standing in front of me.

  My eyes pinch shut as a memory hits me square between the eyes.

  Hey, he’d whispered in my ear, tucking my hair back with his fingertips and caressing my earlobe with warm lips. What do you want to name our first six kids?

  Six?! I’d laughed, shoving a hand into his face, pushing him away. Um, my vagina isn’t a clown car. We’re having three, and then I’m retiring from baby duty.

  Three? That’s station wagon numbers, not a clown car.

  I used to laugh so much with him. Even when I wanted to shove a pillow in his mouth to make him shut up. Leo always had the worst jokes.

  And now, he doesn’t seem like he laughs much.

  His gaze shifts from Zach to me. I realize I’ve been staring at him with my heart in my throat, lost in memories. Clearing my throat, I tear my gaze from that penetrating stare and lower my eyes.

  “You cool with that?” he rumbles.

  “Sure.” I nod. “How soon do you think you can bring someone in?”

  “I’ll get you a few people by the end of day tomorrow. Vetted and cleared. You pick the one you think is best.”

  Fair.

  I like that even if he’s trying to look out for us, he’s still stepping out of the way so I can make the right call for Zach on my own.

  But he should have a say, too, that guilty voice whispers in the back of my mind. Zach is his son.

  Whatever. Soon. I’ll tell him, some way.

  I just can’t blurt it out right now, in front of Zach, while Leo lives like a wild man and probably has a dozen warrants out for his arrest.

  Ugh.

  It’s complicated doesn’t even touch this mess.

  There’s a long silence, and then I catch the faintest creak of a floorboard. I look up sharply to see Leo’s back. He’s treading toward the door with that lion-like stalking lope.