When I returned to the kitchen, I noticed he’d moved to the couch in the living room. I took the chair and folded up my feet beneath me. I knew exactly what had to be weighing on his mind. And since he didn’t seem to be shutting me down this time, I went for it. “You don’t have to see him.”
“You saw how happy it made my mother when I simply said I would think about it.”
“Then, lie.”
His head snapped up. “I won’t lie to my mom.”
It was clear there was some judgment about my hiding from my parents the payments for my grandmother. “Right, the way you don’t lie to her that you’re too busy to come home.”
“I am busy. You see me. I spend every minute trying to turn it into billable dollars.”
“Agreed, but you could also reprioritize if you wanted to. You simply don’t want to. Not that I blame you, but you’re not only lying to her, but to yourself if you say being busy is the only reason you haven’t been home in years.”
“Fourteen.”
“What?”
“It’s been fourteen years since I’ve been home. The day after I graduated from high school I didn’t look back. Went off to UVA, then Stanford Law School, then moved to Los Angeles. While I was in law school, my grandparents died. I couldn’t even afford to come home for their funerals.”
At the age of thirty, he’d become the youngest income partner with the firm. Now at thirty-two, he was one of the highest paid equity partners. A feat I was sure many were envious of. A feat I was starting to understand he’d been driven to attain. Rumor was he was gunning for named partner. It would be unprecedented to have someone other than the founding two partners up on the letterhead. Yet it wouldn’t surprise me if Liam made it happen.
“Do you enjoy the law?” I found myself wondering now if all his hard work and ambition was more about proving himself than about doing something he liked.
“It was always my goal to make partner. To allow my mother to live comfortably without a worry for once. We were on food stamps growing up. Scraping every penny. It was the only way my mom could hold it together.”
I could imagine he’d been eager to get out of the small town and away from everyone who’d known. “It’s incredible how she made it work. How hard you worked to make something of yourself.”
His somber eyes met mine. “It’s not the town’s fault my father was an alcoholic who left us, but I hate it just the same.”
“No, you don’t. You hate the memories. It’s the real reason you don’t want to come home.”
He lifted his glass in a mock salute. “I sometimes worry about becoming like him.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Liam
My eyes stayed glued on Kendall’s face after expressing my last words. The fear of becoming my father was what would prevent me from ever having a family of my own someday. Hell, hadn’t I already made her feel less than? Like she couldn’t do anything right? Those weren’t the actions of an honorable man. I could argue all I wanted that my unpleasant behavior had been self-preservation in not allowing her to get too close, but the truth was too hard to ignore. Perhaps it was in my DNA to be an asshole.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said.
No, I hadn’t. Instead, I was busy trying to rein in my erection from the sight of her in nothing but a jersey a few minutes ago.
“What question is that?”
“Do you enjoy the law? Or being a lawyer? You told me the reasons you went into it. And I can see your drive. But do you love it?”
“I love certain aspects. I guess you could say I enjoy being good at my job. Being respected for something which seems to come fairly naturally.”
“And the hours?”
“They’re part of the job.”
“No work-life balance?”
I supposed I’d need a personal life in order to want to balance it. “It’s where it needs to be for the moment.”
“Are you hoping to make named partner?”
I took a sip of my whiskey, not at all surprised the rumor mill had gotten wind of my aspiration. “What partner wouldn’t want the distinction?” Of course few were actively killing themselves for the goal, but that was fine by me. Less competition in the way. In my mind, I was one large client away from sealing the deal. But time would tell.
“Well, my ex-boss was one of the laziest partners, so not him.”
No, he was too busy groping his staff. “Speaking of which, Mike Octavus is leaving the firm.”
Her eyes went wide as saucers. “What? Since when?”
“I received the news today.”
“Did something else happen?”
Something had happened, all right. I’d spoken to the managing partner. He’d admitted the incident with Kendall hadn’t been Mike’s first transgression in sexually harassing women. Obviously, the guy was a major problem. I’d made it clear I wanted him out. It was an easy decision for them to make, considering I was the top biller in the firm, and Mike had struggled the last few years.
“Upper management realized what a liability he was.”
“You said something? After I spoke about him?”
I didn’t bother to deny it. “Of course I did. His behavior was unacceptable.”
Her glare was quick. “I told you what happened in confidence.”
“Why wouldn’t you be happy? Now he can’t inflict any more unwanted advances on women at the firm.”
“How would you feel if I’d told your mom how much it bothers you to go see your father? Something you told me in confidence. The intention can be good, but I can guarantee my meddling would upset you.”
She had a point. One I was sure I could argue ten different ways, especially since I absolutely didn’t regret getting someone fired who sexually harassed women, but ultimately it came down to how I’d made her feel. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should’ve run it by you first.”
She seemed to settle down with my apology. “I honestly didn’t know it would bother you that much.”
“Of course it did. You weren’t the only woman, by the way, who Mike had harassed. I think of his dismissal as preventative. No future female will have to put up with him.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
Deciding I’d reached my limit on personal baggage, I stood up. “We have a busy day tomorrow. I’m going to turn in.”
“Okay. Good night. And thank you. Although I was initially upset, I appreciate you for caring enough about what I said to do something about it.”
Later that night, as I lay in bed, I thought of Kendall. I absolutely wouldn’t get involved with someone I worked with at a firm of which I hoped to be in charge someday, but I had to admit our newfound friendship meant a lot to me.
Of course, I didn’t typically think of my friends naked.
The next morning, I sat in front of the funeral home in the truck, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I was tempted to do as Kendall had suggested. Lie to my mother. But it didn’t sit well. Of course, neither did the fact that I’d been lying to her all along about why I didn’t come home. Kendall had hit the nail on the head with that one.
Finally, I got out of the cab of the truck and looked up at the cloudy sky. With the cool temperature, it wouldn’t surprise me to see some flakes soon. Once inside, I was immediately greeted by the director, Larry White.
“You must be Liam. Right this way. We were expecting you. Your sister is already here.”
It was unexpected for Allison to be here. Yet not in a bad way. Considering she and I had shared our childhood, it was comforting to have her here. I walked into the room slowly and spotted her sitting in a chair, her head in her hands, weeping. Ah, crap.
I sat down beside her and put my arm around her. “Shhhh, let it all out. I’ve got you.”
After a few minutes of crying, she took a deep breath and met my gaze. “You always did. God, you were two
years younger, yet you were such a little man. I was terrified the night he left, but you told me to go hide in my room. That it would be okay. I could hear the sound of shattered glass. Hear Mom crying and begging him not to go. All I could think of was please go. Please leave and never come back.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. In all these years, we’d never talked about it. Never spoken about the night forever etched on my brain. “I prayed for the same. Then felt guilty when Mom had to pick up the pieces.” Both literally and figuratively.
“I’m so angry with her for forgiving him. It makes me think if he’d come back at any time, she would’ve forgiven him then, too. There could’ve been more violence. It could’ve been a cycle we never would’ve escaped from.”
For the very first time, I appreciated the fact he hadn’t come back. The thought struck me so profoundly. “You’re right. She probably would’ve. I was angry, too. But I think, as a victim, she didn’t know what else to do. I can forgive her for it, but I’m not sure I can ever forgive him.”
“Me, neither. Mom ambushed me with him at the house. Brought him over to try to talk to me. I wanted to tell him to get the hell out, but I couldn’t do that with the girls there. Which meant I had to listen. Listen to all of the apologies. Mom sat there like she was so proud of him for changing. Told me the Christian thing to do was to forgive him.”
I scoffed. “Just because she did doesn’t mean we have to, but I think we can make peace with it. Be grateful we both turned out somewhat normal despite what happened.”
She nudged me with her elbow. “You mean I’m halfway normal after loads of counseling. You have workaholic issues.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I suppose I do.”
“I’ve missed you, brother. I understand why you don’t like to come home, but I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. And I need to make an effort to come home more often. Make new memories to cancel out the old ones.”
“Make sure you bring Kendall. I really like her.”
I let out a long sigh. “She’s my assistant.”
“So you keep saying, but don’t think I don’t notice how you look at her.”
My wide eyes met her knowing ones. “She’s all of twenty-four, Ally, and did I mention she works for me? She’s employed by the firm I hope to put my name on. I need to be untarnished by even a whisper of a rumor if I ever hope to make named partner.”
“But she only works there until she gets her degree, right? Then she’s probably leaving, and you’ll both be free to date who you want.”
Kendall had mentioned quitting during the next year. My heart started beating harder with the thought. Could I pursue her after she quit? But to what end? It wasn’t as if I had time for a relationship. And she wasn’t the type who seemed to want anything less than the real deal. “I don’t think she’ll be ready to leave the firm for a while. And I don’t have the room in my life for anything serious.”
She sighed. “You don’t have room because you don’t make room. Are you planning to talk to him?” She gestured to the body up in the front of the room.
“I don’t know.”
“I did. It wasn’t very nice, but I think I needed to say it. I have to get back to the girls, but I’ll see you tomorrow for the funeral. We’ll get through it, little brother. I promise.”
I stood up with her and hugged her tightly. “Yes, we will. See you tomorrow.”
As soon as she left, I forced myself to walk closer to see him. He looked so different. Older, though that was to expected. As much as my mother would’ve liked for me to make peace, I found my fists clenching and painful, suppressed memories coming to the surface. Damn. I’d never been good enough for him. How many times had I hoped if maybe I hit a homerun, or got an A on a test, he’d finally say it was enough? Finally be proud of me. Finally love me.
Why did he have to come back? We’d all been better off forgetting about him.
Turning around and stalking out, I was already counting the hours until the man could be officially out of my life forever.
As soon as I’d pulled into the driveway of the rental, Kendall was out the front door in her ridiculously ugly coat and lavender boots. It had started to snow, so I thought at first she was outside to try another snow angel. Then I saw the absolute panic on her face.
I jumped out of the truck immediately. “What’s wrong?”
“The caterer just called to cancel. They said the woman who was supposed to drive is petrified of the snow. I offered to pick it up instead, but she said the cook won’t be coming in, either, with the ice storm they’re getting today. Evidently, the weather is worse in Blacksburg. I called all around, and it’s too short notice to hire anyone else. I need to go to the grocery store.”
“Do they have deli platters there or something?” My mom would have to understand.
“I’m not sure. But I’ll think of something. Can you drive me? I might be awhile, so you can come back and wait for my call when I’m checking out. I know you have a lot of work to do.”
I did have some pressing items. “I’ll drive you, then make the calls I need from the truck. Are you attempting to cook something?”
“Yeah. I’m going to try.”
“This isn’t the end of the world. We’ll get cookies and brownies or something.”
She was already shaking her head. “No. We can’t. Your mother will be disappointed. I can fix this. I can cook.”
“I don’t want you stressing over this.” Not over a man who didn’t deserve it. “Not for him.”
She took my hand in her gloved one. “It’s for her. I promise.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kendall
My hand was shaking as I wrote out a list of the things I needed from the store while Liam drove us the few miles. He turned to me once we parked.
“Kendall, I mean it. I don’t want you going to any trouble.”
I knew he meant it, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to make sure this was done right.
“We can get some meats and cheese and bread and people can fix sandwiches.”
That was true. I’d probably do sandwiches. But there needed to be more. His mother was just saying last night how the entire church was coming. How she’d told everyone about the food. “Yes. We can.” I looked across the parking lot to see the Dollar Store. “I need to go there first for serveware.”
“Okay. You want me to go in with you? My call doesn’t start for twenty minutes.”
“Nope. Twenty minutes is almost three hundred dollars’ worth of billable hours.” Frankly I didn’t need the pressure of him waiting on me.
“Here’s my credit card. Text me if you have any trouble using it, and I can come in.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
Think, Kendall. Think. What did I need? I was pleased to see they had a variety of foil pans, paper plates, cups, and serveware. But the last thing I needed was to start shoving stuff into the cart without an idea of what would go with what. I took a deep breath, picturing the menu I had in mind. Then I went to work. Fifty-eight dollars later I had a cart full.
Liam got out of the truck and helped me with the bags, holding a finger to his Bluetooth to indicate he was still on a call. “Yes, I understand what you’re saying. However, you hired me to give you advice. If you don’t choose to follow it, then I can’t be responsible for the result.”
Damn. I’d heard him plenty of times on the phone, so why was his authoritative voice turning me on now?
“Good, I’m glad we agree, then. I’ll be sure to get the paperwork to you tonight.”
He hung up, giving me a smile. “You buy out the store?”
“Not quite. At least everything was only a dollar, and it only came to fifty-eight. Okay, now the grocery store.”
“Do you mind if I do another call?”
I was shocked he asked. “Nope. Not at all.”
It took me an hour. I went back and forth with many menu possibilities in mind. I had to
settle on some because the place was a zoo given the threat of snow. Jesus, weren’t people just here a couple days ago? Then again, wasn’t I?
Once we got back to the house, Liam helped me bring stuff inside, but then he had to disappear upstairs for a video call. I knew he would need me to do some work, so I put away what needed to be frozen and refrigerated and then went upstairs once I heard his call end.
“Okay. What do we have?”
He looked torn, so I reassured him. “It’s okay. I have plenty of time for the cooking later.”
“I want to make sure I pay you for it. Whatever we were paying the caterer.”
It was a generous offer considering it was near a thousand dollars, but I wouldn’t take it. Hell, he’d paid for all of the food already. “We can discuss it later.”
It was ten o’clock before we were done working. It was the disadvantage of being on the East Coast while most of our clients were in the LA time zone. It made me wish I’d picked up a Red Bull. Coffee would have to do.
“Shit,” he cursed, reading his email. “They’re asking if I can do a call with Hong Kong in ten minutes, but I wanted to help you with the food.”
“It’s okay.” I’d probably do it faster without him in the kitchen distracting me with sexy forearms.
Two hours later at the stroke of midnight, I’d hit a wall. I’d done meatballs, mini quiche, and prepared two trays of mini sandwiches cut in triangles. There was a veggie tray to go with that. But I still had four more dishes to make plus desserts. I decided I needed a nap, so I cleaned up what I had done so far and went to lie down for ninety minutes. It sounded like Liam was still on the phone, so I didn’t bother to tell him.
At one thirty in the morning, I dragged myself out of bed and started to prepare my next dishes. A fruit salad, stuffed mushrooms, French piped potatoes, and salmon croquettes. By the time the sun was coming up, I was taking the last of the chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven to join the fudge brownies, snickerdoodles, and blondies.
Miss Understanding (The Miss Series Book 1) Page 12