He looked over to me and then he did something that had Nesto and me almost dropping our jaws. He walked over and bent down to kiss me. Not just a peck either, he braced himself on the arms of the chair and licked into my mouth.
My heart actually skipped and by the time he pulled back I was lightheaded. “Thanks for offering to help.”
“Of course.” I was breathless, and would’ve gone back for another kiss, but Nesto cleared his throat reminding us he was still there. Patrice and I both turned to find him grinning at us, like we’d just made his entire week.
“Okay, I’m going to go get Jude, since you two seem like you need some privacy,” he teased and made a show of putting a hand over his eyes as he stood up.
“Thanks for the help, guys. I feel better about this now that I know you have my back.”
I nodded as we got to the door. “Just let me know any other way I can help.”
After Nesto left, I leaned against the door, looking at Patrice who was walking up to me with a predatory look in his eyes, seemingly unbothered by the events of the last few minutes.
He did that thing where he braced his arms on top of my head, so that I was ensconced by him. I looked up and my field of vision was all Patrice. When he spoke, it was low and so close to my ear, I felt his breath fluttering my hair. “That was really nice of you to do.”
I swallowed, feeling way too many things, to be able to give a proper answer. “It’s the least that I can do.”
He nodded, his face serious, but his eyes were still soft and completely focused on my mouth. “Still you didn’t have to and you did.”
“We’ll see how things go with Sheriff Day tomorrow. That will have to do a lot with whether I actually can help put a stop to all this.”
Patrice’s face turned sober then, and for a moment I thought I’d lose him again. I could tell he was looking for the right words. I counted one, two, three breaths before he spoke.
“I know you’ll try.”
I exhaled and tipped my head up to look at him, a little bit scared of Patrice’s vote of confidence. Something had shifted today, but Patrice’s faith in me scared me, because I was still not sure what I did would change a thing. Still I told him the truth. “I will do my best.”
I didn’t say the words that were almost crawling out of my throat. I don’t want to let you down.
He was still leaning in to me, and it was overwhelming in the best way possible. I pushed up to kiss him and he responded without hesitation, his tongue stealing into my mouth, hot and hungry. I let that take me my mind off the things I needed to do. The trial that was starting in two days, the meeting with the sheriff, the things I knew were on my shoulders to fix and I wasn’t sure if I could.
After a moment Patrice pulled back and brought his hand to my mouth. He brushed my top lip as he looked at me, with an expression of complete befuddlement.
“I thought once I’d let myself go with you.” He dropped his other arm to grip my hip hard on that last word. “That the crazy lust that seems to fill my head whenever you’re around would die down some.” He shook his head as if genuinely confused. “But it hasn’t. I still can barely think from wanting you.”
I almost laughed, because if he only knew.
“I can assure you that you’re not the only one with that problem.” I pushed off from the door and grabbed his hand as I moved back to the couch. “What are we going to do about this, professor?”
Patrice’s face was serious as we got back on the couch, he sat back as I straddled his hips, my arms around his neck. He grabbed my ass and pressed me to him so that I could feel his hard cock against me. Like always with Patrice, everything else seemed to shrink to nothing if he was around.
I waited for his answer, as we rocked against each other, the need building with every movement, and still Patrice didn’t speak.
Finally he pressed his face to my neck, and let out a long, weary breath. When he looked up his eyes looked scared, but determined.
“I want to be here, so I’m going to stay.” He didn’t say more, his body relaxing as he ran his hand over my back. I wanted to say so many things I knew I shouldn’t. In the end I told him the one thing I was more certain of than anything else.
“I want you here, for as long as you do.”
Patrice
I walked into the kitchen of Nesto’s restaurant, completely certain the conversation was going to revolve around me and Easton. It’s not like I hadn’t gotten a warning; he’d texted me last night after he left the penthouse, telling me to be ready for questions. I was feeling so fucking good after last night that I might just answer them too. Easton filled places in me that I didn’t even know were empty, and now that I’d let myself actually feel that I was loathe to let it go without a fight.
Before I left this morning we’d talked about his meeting with the sheriff’s department. I didn’t push him on what he would say; after all, Easton’s job was his job. So I’d wished him good luck on the trial preparations and went on my way.
Now I was here, certain that Nesto would not be happy until I spilled my guts about what I’d been doing at Easton’s last night. But I wanted check in about Ari and talk about the fundraiser a little more, so Nesto would have to deal. I tried to focus on where I was going and said hello to Nesto’s staff as I passed. I noticed Yin was standing by a ton of boxes, checking something off from a clipboard.
“Yin.”
He turned around and pushed up to give me a double kiss on the cheeks. I smiled as I obliged, thinking he must’ve picked that up from Ari. “How’s our boy doing?”
“He’s running some errands for Nesto, but he’s doing better. Talking to you really helped.”
Funny, because during that talk, the one that had dropped life-altering knowledge had definitely not been me.
Yin, looked more relaxed though, so it seemed we’d all been able to move past the scare and stress from Saturday. He lifted his pen to the doors that led to the dining area, without me having to ask. “The boss is out there.”
I nodded in the direction he pointed and saw Nesto sitting at a table working on his computer. As soon as he saw me, he stood to give me dap.
“What’s good, P?” The mischievous smile on his face told me I was not getting away with not talking about Easton. “You looking fly, man. Relaxed.”
He snapped that last word. This motherfucker really thought he was hilarious.
“You’re a lot less funny than you think you are,” I said, somehow managing to keep a straight face as I pulled a chair to sit across from him. “If you must know. I am feeling pretty good considering how fucking stressful shit got this weekend.”
Nesto’s expression sobered as soon as I said that. He rubbed his hand over his face before he answered. “Tell me about it, man. I swear I’m this close from getting in my truck and moving Ari out that fucking house. His uncle is up his ass constantly.”
I sighed, feeling tired already. “Easton got in touch with his friend who does immigration law and the guy got back to him last night. Ari told me I could give Easton the case details. The lawyer comes to Ithaca every week to work with a few clients and will set up a time to meet with Ari. So that’s handled.” I felt a surge of pride then that Easton had followed through.
Nesto nodded at that. “I knew it. If anyone can get that worked out, it’ll be Easton. But seriously, tell me what was up with you guys last night.” His tone clearly stating that he knew what we’d been up to.
I ran my hand over my mouth, not wanting to say too much. This shit with Easton was way too different and I didn’t feel like sharing. Not in my usual, “There’s nothing to say, because I don’t care” type of way either. I felt a little freaked out. Like I was so new at this, so bad at being with someone like I’d been with Easton last night that somehow I’d ruin it.
“Yo, what’s up with you?”
> I snapped my head up to find Nesto staring at me with a concerned expression. Something about the way he was looking at me, made me voice my worries out loud.
“Nes, I’m afraid I’m gonna fuck it up. I’m too closed off and Easton is so pure.” I closed my eyes, knowing I sounded ridiculous. “He doesn’t hide anything. He looks at me and I can see how bad I could hurt him. I don’t know if I’m built for this.”
Nesto’s hand slid across the table and he gripped my wrist hard. His face as serious as I’d ever seen it. “Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit, about you not knowing how to be a good man to the people that love you,” he said through gritted teeth. “I swear to God, Patrice. I hear you on being afraid, all of this is scary as fuck.” He laughed then and looked around the dining area of his restaurant, taking it in as I noticed he did sometimes.
“We’re our ancestors’ wildest dreams, mi hermano,” he said, waving a hand between us. “You and I, we came here from both sides of that island with nothing. Not even the language. Our mothers and us, we busted our asses to have the lives we dreamed we could have.”
He was right, it had been a long hard road. Remembering those first years in school when I could barely understand what the teacher was saying, and I begged my mom to just let me stay home, still made me shudder. But I’d done it, we’d done it. I was a college professor at an Ivy League school, for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t that I thought I couldn’t do what was hard, it’s that I didn’t know if I had it in me to be the lover Easton deserved.
I pursed my lips, trying to find a way to explain. “Yeah, but that we knew how to do, Nes, hustling is in our DNA. That was the plan from the moment we hit the ground here. Work, school, that was the script.” I pointed to the courthouse where I knew Easton must be preparing for his trial. “I have no game plan for this. My mom was my father’s mistress, Nesto. I only saw that man on his way in and out my mother’s bedroom a few times a week, for the little bit of time he was even around.”
Nesto’s eyes darkened at my words and leaned in closer, his hand still tight around my forearm. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, and neither does Odette for that matter. And I’m not here for any bullshit moralistic standards set by people who have no idea what our lives are like.” He lifted a shoulder, as if to concede a point. “It’s true, we didn’t see that at home, the parents loving on each other and all that shit. Odette, Dinorah, my mom, it’s sad that they didn’t have more of that. But they deserved it, and so do we. Now chill the fuck out before I call Milo and tell on you.”
Fucker had to make me laugh when I was confessing my deepest and darkest fears.
“Ice cold, Ernesto. Ice cold.”
He stood up then and I did the same, knowing my friend would probably want to hug it out. I pulled him to me and tightened my arms around his shoulders.
“You’ll be fine, P.” Nesto’s voice was so certain when he said that, I almost believed him. I would never stop being grateful for the people I had in my life, who never failed to show me the kindness it was sometimes so hard for me to show myself.
One thing was certain. I may not have seen many examples of couples growing up, but I could not say I didn’t have men around me who knew how to show love.
Chapter Thirteen
Easton
“We are not here to start a fight with the sheriff, Ron,” I said in the sternest voice I could manage.
“Dialogue. Starting a dialogue.” That was Cindy; she’d shown up at the parking lot this morning, pissed that we hadn’t consulted with her about the meeting. Now she was in my car after refusing to go home, and according to her, she was here to make sure we “kept it cordial.” I’d never thought of Cindy as anything other than a fighter. When it came to domestic violence and sexual assault cases she’d always been fearless. I’d seen her call up the chief of police in the middle of the night to yell at him for not making an arrest fast enough. And yet, with this she seemed almost tentative. My sister’s words kept ringing in my head.
Was Cindy’s plan really to wash her hands, and by association the DA’s office, from this? I wasn’t sure what to even do with that if it was the case.
As we all got out of the car I saw Ron pursing his mouth before answering Cindy’s admonishment. He looked a lot like I felt.
“Cin,” Ron said tiredly. “Believe me, I don’t want to start a thing with Day, you know he and I go way back. I was his mentor when he started at IPD for fuck’s sake, but I am not going to sit there and let him feed me excuses about what some of his deputies have been up to.” He looked over to me, barely restrained frustration all over his face. “He’s been ghosting Easton, and from the looks of it, has done nothing to deal with any of it.”
I looked over at Cindy who was definitely still not up to high-stress meetings yet, and bit back the curse that was on the tip of my tongue. “Cindy, we are not here for a social call. Day has to give us some straight answers about what’s been happening on his watch.”
Cindy whispered to me as we walked and headed to the front desk area. “I just don’t want us to get into a place where we can’t work together.”
I looked around and spoke to her in a low voice as Ron let the deputy in the front know what we needed. “I’m aware. Corey and Tony are invaluable in the sexual abuse cases, hell they’re two of my strongest witnesses for the trial going on now. We still need to have a word about these bullshit stops on county roads.” I ran my hand over my head as I followed Ron to Day’s office, trying to control my annoyance. I was getting tired of Cindy implying that us asking Day to do something about these stops was equivalent with declaring war. “I don’t want this to become a public pissing match any more than you do, but I don’t think I need to tell you that if Day can’t hear our concerns about this, then we really need to be worried.”
I almost told her about Ari, because I needed her to understand, to hear, that this was something happening to real people. Our work sometimes got so stressful and there was so much of it that we forgot we were not just responsible for what escalated to crimes. It was our duty to respond to situations like this, especially when it was becoming clear that these stops were not just random. Before Cindy could get a word in, Day came out of his office to greet us.
If you could use a word for Whitney Day, it would be “strapping.” He gave off a no-nonsense vibe that kept people on their toes. He was tall and strong, with piercing blue eyes that could make you squirm if directed at you for too long. His blond hair was getting lighter as some grays came in, but still...he was a very handsome man.
Day had been a notorious bachelor, but no one knew much about his personal life until he’d unexpectedly come out during his run for sheriff. It almost cost him the election too. Regardless, he was so well liked he’d been re-elected. At thirty-five he’d been the youngest and first openly gay sheriff ever elected in Tompkins County, and until this bullshit started it seemed like he was running his department well.
“Archer.” I stretched my hand to Day after he’d gone in for a backslap with Ron and kissed Cindy hello.
“You’ve been a hard man to pin down lately,” I said as we followed him to his office.
Like my own, it was sort of an ode to the seventies. Lots of wood paneling and bright carpeting, but it was large enough to accommodate us. Unlike mine, Day’s office was scrupulously tidy, everything in its place.
He sat down on the small round table in his office and leaned in the chair with his arms crossed over his chest. I wasn’t sure what vibe he was giving off, and I didn’t want to start on the wrong foot, so I thought about how to best get the conversation going.
This type of situation was always tricky for me. In a courtroom, there were no holds barred. I would come in guns blazing and do what I needed to do. But when it was colleagues, I had the tendency to let myself get mowed down. I didn’t want to hedge on this though, but before I could speak Ron did.
“Ron!” That was Cindy.
Day’s face barely moved, but his neck was getting redder by the second. I put up my hands out trying to get people to calm down, knowing I couldn’t afford this meeting to go off the rails before we even started.
“Whitney, there’s a problem,” I said with the most conciliatory tone I could come up with after Ron’s outburst.
Day just looked at us, his expression inscrutable. I was starting to get a bit on edge from the stare down he was aiming at me when he finally opened his mouth. “I got a couple of young deputies who are a little overzealous and obviously need a little more training, but I’m not ready to call this a problem.” He looked genuinely puzzled, and even a little hurt. “I don’t recruit racists. The minute I hear anyone’s been using slurs or anything like that, there will be consequences.”
Ron’s mouth flattened at that and Cindy looked like she was really close to having another cardiac episode.
I suppressed a sigh before I spoke again. “Whitney, we can’t just ignore the fact that the stops in the last few months have increased and that the drivers were overwhelmingly men of color, mostly Black and Latinx. Just because people are not using hate speech doesn’t mean there’s not an issue.”
Day leaned in then and his face did not seem to be indicating that we were going to make any progress on getting him to at least admit that this was in any way related to race.
“I have things under control, the guys will be disciplined. They don’t need to be putting people in the community on edge because they can’t keep their shit together on a shift. But things are way too heated right now. Some local activists have been up in arms about this and I just don’t think me getting in there is going to do anything.” Him using the word “activist” brought me up short, because he wasn’t just talking about an anonymous person, he was talking about Patrice. This was not just some people trying to start trouble, it was people in our community who were fearful for their safety asking us to do our jobs. I was going to say exactly that when Ron spoke again.
American Love Story (Dreamers) Page 16