by Barb Han
“I’ll wake you if I get tired, but I’m used to going days at a stretch.” Of course, he would be. He’d only just gotten out of the military. She was pretty sure a mission wouldn’t have him sleeping every night at the Ritz.
Silence stretched between them. The only sound Amber could hear was the baby’s breathing. So many thoughts raced in Amber’s mind. Technically, she didn’t know Rylan any longer. He had no idea about her life, what she’d been through since the last time she’d seen him. And she had no idea who he really was anymore.
“Why’d you call me?” she asked out of the blue.
“You want the honest answer?”
“If it’s a good one,” she teased.
“I have no idea. You were the last friend I had in Jacobstown and the first one who came to mind,” he said. “You’ve changed—”
“Well, so have you,” she quickly countered, hearing the defensiveness in her own voice.
“Hold on. I meant that in a good way. You’re older—”
She issued a grunt, stopping him cold.
“You’re not a little kid anymore. You’re a grown woman. Beautiful.”
“Well, now you’re doing a little better.” She figured he’d added that last part to keep her from giving him a hard time. She’d accept the compliment anyway. “You ever think about becoming a daddy, Rylan?”
“No. I’m not anywhere near where I want to be in life, and I don’t want to do that to a kid. But if the test proves she’s mine, it doesn’t matter what I think, does it?” The question was rhetorical. His tone left no room for doubt that he’d do the right thing by Brooklyn.
There was another long pause where neither spoke. After all these years, it should be awkward to be in a dark room alone with someone she knew from her childhood. But this was Rylan. She couldn’t feel anything but at home with him. An annoying little voice warned her that she was alone with a stranger, but it wasn’t difficult to quash.
“What are we going to do if he comes back?” she asked.
“This time, we’ll be ready.” That statement had so much finality to it Amber had no doubt that Rylan meant every word. He had the skills to back it up, too.
Amber shut the thought down. Because Rylan’s protectiveness over the baby lying across her chest stirred Amber’s heart in ways she couldn’t allow or afford.
Conversation trailed off when Amber could no longer hold her eyes open. When she opened them again, she heard Rylan’s steady breathing. His shirt was off, and in the dim light she could see his muscled chest.
An ache welled up from deep within.
RYLAN BLINKED HIS EYES open the second Amber shifted her weight.
“You’re awake,” she said, sounding caught off guard.
“I was never asleep. My eyes were resting.” He rubbed the scruff on his chin and then raked a hand through his dark, thick hair.
“Said every man I’ve ever met who was actually sleeping.” She laughed. Her laugh, hell, her voice, had a musical quality to it. This wasn’t the time to get inside his head about why it was her laugh he’d heard when an enemy gunman stood over him with an AR-15 pointed at the center of his forehead. He’d told himself it was natural for childhood memories to come back when a man faced death. And she did have a great laugh.
“I’ve been thinking about where I might’ve been about twelve months ago. I was stationed in San Antonio last year and had a few weekends off. Several of us guys used to drive over to Austin. They did some partying.” The disappointment on her face struck like a physical blow. “I haven’t had a drink in six years, three hundred and twenty-four days. Except possibly that weekend.”
“Oh.” The one word and the way it was spoken conveyed pity. He didn’t want that from Amber. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that about your drinking. I knew it had gotten a little out of control before you left but—”
“My low point was good for me because it made me realize that I had a problem. I saw the man in the mirror one sober morning and knew that wasn’t who I wanted to be. Not on weekends, not on leave, not anymore,” he said. “Before that I did a few stupid and reckless things. None of which involved not using protection no matter who I was with or how much I’d had to drink.”
The women he’d spent time with knew the deal. He was upfront about his mind-set. He’d always shied away from any woman who was interested in anything more than one night of mutually consensual and amazing sex.
“I’m sorry you went through all that,” she said, and the sincerity in her voice made him realize just how alone he’d been all these years.
It was fine. His choice. But this was the first time his life seemed lonely when he thought about it. The possibility of fatherhood was probably what had him going inside himself, searching for redeeming qualities that might make him worthy of bringing up that little girl on his own. He had no plans to let her down.
Amber tried to sit up and the baby stirred.
“I need to use the restroom. Think you can handle her for a few minutes?” she asked.
He nodded, deciding not to point out the fact that he might be doing that for a heck of a lot longer than a few minutes. The idea should stress him out, and it did, but not as much as he expected. He’d had a few hours to let the possibility sink in.
There was no going back now. If the call that came in said he was Brooklyn’s father, so be it. He’d make sure that girl had a real childhood with dolls and dance classes even if he had to work two jobs to do it. Reality was a gut punch. Wasn’t that what his mother had done? His father hadn’t bothered to stick around long enough to get to know Rylan. That wasn’t the life he wanted for Brooklyn. Staying in Jacobstown might not be an option. Work was sparse here. He’d have better luck and get more pay if he moved to Fort Worth or Dallas.
The thought of leaving Jacobstown hit harder than expected, but he could finish updating this house and then rent it out for income. He stopped himself right there. One step at a time. He didn’t need to know how to finish the journey. He only needed to take the first steps. And that meant being okay with whatever news Dr. Logan delivered.
But first he needed to track down the baby’s mother and find out what trouble she’d gotten herself into. Only a desperate mother would abandon her child.
Brooklyn squeezed her eyes shut before letting out a little cry. Panic set in. Was she hungry? Did she need a diaper change? Of course, she would need that. Didn’t babies go to the bathroom almost constantly?
Thankfully, Amber returned before the baby could wind up a good cry. She brought a bottle back with her, and Brooklyn settled down almost immediately. She’d shown him how to feed the baby earlier, so he took her, figuring he needed the practice.
“You want me to burp her?” she asked him almost the second Brooklyn finished her bottle.
He nodded. There was an emotion behind Amber’s eyes when she looked at the little girl that Rylan couldn’t exactly pinpoint. Whatever it was ran deep.
“Will you teach me how to change her?” he asked as Amber passed the baby back to him. He did his level best not to sound as helpless as he felt when it came to taking care of the baby.
“It’s easier than you think. Come on.” The spark in Amber’s eyes shouldn’t stir his heart like it did. She could always make the most mundane thing seem like an adventure.
She dropped to the floor next to the diaper bag in the middle of the living room and waved him over. “Put her down on her back.”
He was probably as awkward-looking as all hell, but he managed to set Brooklyn down gently without causing her to cry. The minute he withdrew his hands she kicked up a storm, and her sad face nearly broke him. “What did I do wrong?”
“Hold on there, little bean.” Amber patted the little girl’s tummy. Brooklyn wound up to cry, but Amber tickled her belly and Brooklyn laughed instead. The sound of her voice had a calming effect on the chi
ld, and he couldn’t imagine doing any of this without Amber. He wasn’t sure what he owed for the favor this had become. “Take a diaper from the bag next to me.”
He did, ignoring the sizzle of attraction he felt when his arm brushed against her shoulder.
Amber unzipped the pink onesie pajamas and pulled each tiny foot out. Her motions were fluid, and she made it look so easy. She opened and closed the tabs on the diaper the baby already had on a couple of times as a demonstration.
“Open yours up. Figure it out. Pretend it’s something mechanical and take it apart. There’s not much to one of these.” She leaned over and bumped his shoulder. The electricity pulsing between them from contact sent a jolt of heat rocketing through him. “My brothers’ kids each seemed to have a different kind of diaper when they were this age. One needed a certain no-leak protection and another needed a specific night guard fabric.”
“You mean there’s more than one kind of these?” He couldn’t imagine why.
“Afraid so,” she said.
Rylan played around with the diaper, pretending he didn’t just have the over-the-top chemistry reaction to Amber Kent. “This is pretty basic.”
“Until you try to put it on a wiggly baby.” Amber was making cooing sounds, and Brooklyn seemed enraptured.
He figured he could use the distraction to change a diaper.
Removing the other diaper was easy. The rest was a bit more complicated, but with Amber’s help he managed his first successful diaper change.
“Does she have any other clothes in the bag?” Amber picked up Brooklyn while he checked.
“Nope. She has what she had on yesterday.” There was nothing other than formula, diapers and wipes. But that was a lot, considering the way he’d received Brooklyn. “Someone cared about her, didn’t they?”
“I hope so.” Amber was busy putting the pj’s back on her.
“Who takes the time to write a note, pack diapers and wipes but not extra clothing?” His mind churned. “For the most part it seems that someone wanted her taken care of. I mean, there are diapers at nearly every convenience store, but her mother wanted to make sure she had the ones Brooklyn uses.”
“That’s a good point. It makes me think she’d been considering her options for a few days at least,” Amber said.
“Brooklyn might not be my daughter. Her mother could be someone I know. I still have no idea who she could be.” Whoever the woman was must know that he wouldn’t take a random person’s word for it that he’d fathered a child.
“Maybe she figured it would take a couple of days for the paternity test to come back and by then she’d be out of trouble and able to take her daughter back,” Amber agreed. “She could’ve picked you because you’re loyal and might be the only one she knew who could handle himself in a dangerous situation.”
Which made the odds Brooklyn wasn’t his child drop pretty damn drastically if he was right. But then, he’d most likely spent one or two nights with the woman in question. Wasn’t exactly a recipe for knowing him, and the idea that she’d been desperate didn’t sit well.
A knock sounded at the front door.
Amber gasped.
Chapter Eight
Amber didn’t mean to startle the baby. She reminded herself just how much little ones picked up on the emotions and energy of everyone around them.
“It’s okay, sweet princess,” she soothed.
“I’ll take care of whoever it is.” Rylan pulled a weapon from underneath the cushion of the chair he’d been resting in earlier. The sun was up but it was still early.
Several thoughts raced through Amber’s mind. Was the baby’s mother back? Amber should want that, but her heart squeezed thinking about Brooklyn leaving so soon. Had the guy from yesterday returned? That was all kinds of awful, too. It could mean that Deputy Perry had been jumped or worse. She didn’t want to consider the possibility that he was outside somewhere hurt because of her.
It could be good news, like Zach had found the perp who’d tried to snatch Brooklyn from Amber’s arms.
Rylan checked the peephole. “I’ll be right there, Zach.”
He returned his weapon to its hiding place before opening the door and ushering her cousin inside.
One look at the tension lines on Zach’s face and she knew something was wrong.
“You need to come back to the ranch.” His lips formed a grim line. “A body was found near Rushing Creek. Female. Early to midthirties. You can ride with me if you like.”
“Oh, Zach. That’s terrible.” Every possible worst-case scenario fought for attention in Amber’s mind. “Is everyone accounted for at home?”
“Yes. Your sisters-in-law and Amy have all checked in.” Zach’s brows furrowed. “You gave us a scare, though. I must’ve called your cell ten times trying to reach you.”
“My battery must’ve died.” She regretted her word choice under the circumstances and wished she could take that last one back. She couldn’t, and it wouldn’t change what had happened on the ranch. It was heartbreaking.
“Everyone would rest easier if they could put eyes on you. Plus, the family wants to meet and talk about what’s happening,” Zach said.
Amber picked up Brooklyn and held her to her chest to keep the little girl from crying, and to give herself something to do besides give into the mounting panic attack. A woman was dead. A family was about to receive the worst possible news and suffer an unimaginable loss. Her heart ached for the victim and her family.
“Everyone on staff has been accounted for,” he added. She couldn’t feel much relief considering some poor soul had been killed.
“He used the same MO as the Jacobstown Hacker,” Zach continued.
Her gaze bounced from Zach to Rylan. His confusion was knitted across his forehead, and she realized he must not have kept up-to-date on Jacobstown. Of course, he hadn’t. He’d cut himself off from the family and, as far as she knew, hadn’t been in contact with anyone recently. “Over the past few weeks, someone has been killing animals. He’s specific in the way he kills them by hacking off their left paw or hoof. Up to now, the jerk had focused on animals. Now everyone’s fears that he would move onto people are being realized.”
“I didn’t know.” There was so much compassion and reverence in his voice.
“Come with me, Rylan. Please.” She added that last part as a plea because she didn’t want to leave him or the baby. Whatever had happened between him and her brother needed to be set aside, and she’d remind him of that if push came to shove. She hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
“I’ll get your coat,” he said. She expected an argument from Rylan and was pleased when she didn’t get one. There was no time. Her heart hurt for the woman at the creek. Anger burst through her that someone could get away with that on her family’s property.
Rylan located her coat, which he’d hung in the closet and helped her into it. Zach stood by the door, waiting for them to get themselves and the baby ready. Amber caught him watching her as she interacted with Brooklyn, and she knew exactly what was on his mind.
Amber stopped short of the door. “We don’t have a car seat for her.”
“I borrowed one from Deputy Perry. He’s buckling it in my SUV now.” Zach opened the door and the trio followed him, with Rylan closing in from behind. His home was a half hour from the main house at the ranch. This early in the morning Zach made good time cutting across town.
Isaac was working security at the front gate. He waved them by. Amber wasted no time exiting the SUV. She tried to help unbuckle Brooklyn, but her hands shook too hard. Rylan took them in his—a move that shouldn’t calm her but felt like a lifeline to sanity—and caught her gaze. He didn’t say anything and yet his presence comforted her.
Amber took in a calming breath and managed to usher in Rylan’s masculine scent, all pine and outdoors.
“Go on
in. I’ll be right there,” he said.
“Okay.” She couldn’t imagine that it was easy for Rylan to face her family home again, and it meant the world to her that he’d come along. Strange as it might seem to an outsider since she’d only been around him and the baby a short time, they felt like part of her family, too. She told herself it was because Rylan and Will had been attached at the hip for so many years up until the summer before senior year when Rylan’s mother had passed away. Then, he’d stopped coming around and Will seemed a little lost without his best friend. Amber had confronted her brother about abandoning his friend when Rylan needed him most. That had gone over about as well as sriracha on a ghost pepper.
Mitch, the eldest brother, greeted Amber in the entrance to the main living room. She could hear low chatter coming from the kitchen area. The low hum buzzed toward her, and the tone made the air heavy, like dull gray rain clouds hovering in the sky before it opened up into a show of thunder and lightning.
“The kids are at my place with Joyce. Everyone else is here, including Will,” Mitch said after a hug. Joyce had been their loyal caregiver since the day the twins were born. His twins had been the first babies in the Kent family. Being the eldest brother, he probably felt more responsibility for taking care of everyone in the family. Which was most likely the reason he’d taken Amber outside to tell her when his wife had become pregnant a couple of years ago. He’d chosen his words carefully. He’d been keenly aware of what she’d been through and even time didn’t seem to heal the wound of losing her child. Amber appreciated Mitch for caring. But she really didn’t expect the rest of the family to stop living their lives because of her loss. It was hers.
“Does he know where I’ve been and who I’ve been helping?” She wouldn’t change a thing about the past twenty-four hours; she just needed to know what she was up against.