by Sarah Noffke
“No! Blisters is gone!” Azure yelled. She stomped over to Monet and pulled back her foot, about to kick him.
A whinny, clear and loud, rang through the night air.
“Did you hear that?” Azure asked, setting down her foot.
Monet traced his finger over Yako’s jawline. “You have exquisite features. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“A time or two,” Yako cooed.
“Monet?” Azure leaned over and snapped her fingers in his face, to no effect.
He waved her off, his gaze focused on Yako, who took a long sip from the bottle of wine. “Go on, then. Look for Blisters. I’ll keep this foxy lady safe.”
“Oh, for the love of Merlin! You’re fucking worthless, Monet,” Azure told him.
“I think you meant to say, ‘King Monet,’” Yako said, her eyes fixed on the wizard.
“I actually didn’t say all that I meant to,” Azure growled, and held her wand up, igniting the end with light. She took a cautious step forward. Had the will-o-wisps distracted Blisters too? She wasn’t sure how she was going to retrieve both him and Gillian, not to mention how she’d fix Monet’s enchantment or whatever that vixen was doing to him.
“For what it’s worth, there’s a finding potion in my saddlebag. But there’s only one dose, and if you use it then we won’t have it for finding Ever,” Monet said, his voice almost drowned out by the crackling fire. He sounded half-asleep, actually.
Azure’s hope rose. Perfect. She’d use the potion now, because if they didn’t find Gillian and Blisters then they weren’t going to find Ever. They’d just have to find another means to track down the traitor Light Elf.
She pulled the small bottle of blue liquid from Monet’s saddlebag. He’d brought a dozen potions with him, making him not quite useless. All she had to do was drink the potion and then think about the person she wanted to find. However, she didn’t know if she should go after the gnome or the unicorn.
Gillian, as a gnome, had exceptional navigational skills. Azure tossed her head back and drank the potion, her mind focused intently on Blisters. From the corner of her eye she saw something flicker. Her horse was gone! He’d just been there!
“Monet! My horse—it was just here! Where did it go?” she asked, spinning in a circle. His horse was grazing on a patch of moist grass, but her own had disappeared, although it was there moments before.
“Yeah, no problem. I’ll totally keep an eye out,” Monet said, waving toward the horse, his focus on the tramp by the fire.
Azure narrowed her eyes at the woman before turning and stomping off. She had to stay focused or she’d waste the potion. Blisters was out there, and she had to find him. Then they’d return and she’d throw Monet in the Conca River.
The river ran shallowly up ahead, mostly babbling around slippery river rocks. Azure held her wand up to illuminate the bank, earning the glare of a few rodents who had come out to drink in the peace of the darkness.
“Sorry, looking for my unicorn,” she apologized to the raccoon who had bared his sharp teeth at her.
He lifted a fish out of the water with his paws and took a bite, his reflective eyes on Azure. There was something creepy about the raccoon. Something different, like Yako.
“Excuse me,” a husky voice called from the middle of the stream. Azure pointed her wand-light in that direction. A man stood in the river, his hands on his hips. And there was something about him, too. He was fucking hot, like slip-a-ring-on-his-finger hot. His brown hair was slicked back, and high cheekbones framed his large almond-shaped eyes.
“Uhhh…what are you doing out there? Are you Yako’s friend?” Azure asked, squinting at the man. He was dressed in jeans, and luckily was shirtless.
“Yako? Oh, no. I was just washing up,” he said, kneeling and splashing water on his arms and bare torso. “Think I lost my ring, though, and could really use some help.”
“What? Did you say ring?” That was odd; a strange and embarrassing coincidence.
“I did. And I do need your help,” he said, standing and wiping his hands on his jeans.
A whinny sounded from the forest behind Azure. She spun around. “Blisters!”
“Oh, would you look at that? I got my pants wet. Looks like I’m going to have to take them off to dry,” the man said, unfastening his jeans.
“What?” Azure twisted back, averting her eyes as the gorgeous stranger undressed in the middle of the river. She shook off the heat in her body. “Sorry about your ring. I’ve got to go.”
“Wait! No,” the man called, sounding angry as she ran straight into the woods. Again the whinny. She took a right, veering back toward the river. Ahead of her she caught the shimmering glow of something—Blisters’ white body. She ran faster, but her foot hit a slick bit of moss. Azure fell onto her rear end, sliding down the bank of a stream until she was seated squarely in it, her ass screaming from the fall.
Blisters turned from the middle of the stream, his blue eyes wide. “Queen Azure!” He trotted over, flicking water into her face as he pranced.
“Blisters,” Azure complained, shielding her face. “Where have you been?”
“I made a friend. He called me to him,” Blisters said. Behind him, sitting in the middle of the stream, was a large black stallion, his eyes aglow with bright white light. Azure scrambled up, nearly slipping on the mossy rock again, and lifted her wand, both for light and protection.
“W-who are you? Or rather, what?” she stuttered.
“I’m a pooka, and you can call me Manx,” the horse said, rocking to a stand. He was huge, easily several hands taller than her now-lost horse.
“Pooka?” Azure asked, remembering what Yako had said. “You’re a fairy, aren’t you? Are you the one who distracted Gillian and led him into the forest with your lanterns? The will-o-wisps?”
“Yes, but he was no fun. No matter how I tried, he never lost his bearings,” Manx said, swishing his tail back and forth.
“Isn’t he cute?” Blisters squealed as he ran around the massive horse. Manx’ muscles rippled under his black coat, and his long dark mane was a stark contrast to the unicorn’s.
“Fucking adorable,” Azure said, her voice dry. “Where is Gillian?”
“He’s on his way back to camp, which is better than I can say for you, Queen Azure. You were almost lured into the river by a kelpie.” Manx trotted forward, his large hooves splashing up water.
“A kelpie?” Azure asked. “Do you mean that man? How do you know about that?”
“I know many things,” the fairy said. Pookas were especially untrustworthy creatures. They were mischievous, destructive, and demanding. “Like for instance, a minute more with the kelpie and he probably would have turned into a horse and invited you on to his back before he plunged into the deep part of the river.”
“And—let me guess—drowned me?” Azure asked, wondering why this all felt like a strange dream.
“Yes. A much worse fate than what the kitsune has in store for your other friend,” Manx said, tossing his head and wild mane in the direction of where she had left Monet.
“Kitsune? That woman with Monet? What is she?” Azure asked.
“Better for you to see with your own eyes. The pair will probably be drunk by now, which will be perfect timing,” Manx said. The horse disappeared, and then reappeared as a black raven. He flew in Monet’s direction.
“Can we keep him?” Blisters asked from Azure’s side. “Pretty please?”
“Let’s just get back,” Azure said, shaking her head as she followed the strange fairy. She shouldn’t trust a pooka, but there were so many untrustworthy creatures in this area. Kelpies, kitsunes, and who knew what else? Right then she needed an alliance with just one creature she could rely on.
***
“There you are, Queen Azure,” Gillian called, breathlessly falling out of the forest.
“Are you okay, Gillian?” Azure asked, helping him to a stand.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just got turned arou
nd,” he said, mopping his brow with a handkerchief.
“You have our new friend Manx to thank for that.” Azure threw her hand in the direction of the raven. He hovered in the air a few feet in front of them. A caw rang from his beak, and his beady eyes narrowed at them.
“A pooka. Of course,” Gillian said, like he’d pieced this all together just from seeing the raven.
“Yes, very good. And apparently Monet has been seduced by a kitsune, whatever that is.”
A laugh fell from Gillian’s mouth, making his green eyes shine. “Oh, I have to see this. Serves him right.”
“I guess you’re not going to tell me what a kitsune is, are you?” Azure asked.
“Oh, come on, Queen Azure. This will be fun.” Gillian took the lead, Manx circling around and then flew straight for the campfire in the distance.
***
Giggling and smacking sounds poured from the area where Monet had stayed with Yako. He had rolled on top of the beautiful woman and was kissing her hard, his hand questing under her dress. She had her legs wrapped around him, and moaned each time he placed a kiss on her neck. But there was something different about the woman now. Snaking out from underneath her and between her legs was a big, bushy red tail.
Azure cleared her throat loudly at the sight before them. “Oh, I get it,” she said to Gillian.
He nodded, smiling.
“We’re busy,” Monet said, his voice breathless.
“Oh, I can see that, but we were wondering if you wanted to go on a fox hunt with us,” Azure said.
Yako’s incessant giggling ceased and her hands tensed on Monet’s shoulders. She lifted her head and peered at the group over Monet’s back.
“King Monet, we should go somewhere else,” Yako said, pushing him off her. As she stood, her tail disappeared.
“King Monet?” Gillian asked, a laugh in his voice.
“Oh, yes, and the little fox stole a bunch of our supplies and my horse,” Azure said.
“She’s about to steal your Chief of Staff,” Gillian muttered, hardly parting his lips for the words.
“What? No,” Azure said, but Yako in fact had Monet by the hand and was attempting to pull him into the forest.
“Stop. Monet. You can’t leave with her. She’s a fox,” Azure called out.
He laughed, nearly tripping as the vixen tugged him harder, her eyes ravenous.
Overhead the raven swooped, diving to the ground. Just before Manx bulleted into the dirt, he took the form of a black fox and ran at Yako. She screeched and threw her hands in the air, then shifted into the form of a red fox. The kitsune ran straight into the forest, disappearing at once with Manx after her.
“What the fuck just happened?” Monet asked, staring at the forest with his mouth hanging open.
“It appears you were seduced by a kitsune,” Gillian said. He sat by the dying fire and grabbed the half-empty bottle of wine, taking a swig.
“Yeah, but seriously…what happened?” Monet asked, stomping back to the fire.
“You made out with a fox.” Azure laughed.
“Oh man, that’s fucking disgusting. Could I have a disease now?” Monet rubbed his tongue against the sleeve of his shirt until it was nearly dry.
“No, but your pride should be bruised,” Azure said, taking a seat next to Gillian.
“Men much smarter than you have fallen for a kitsune’s seduction.” Gillian took another long drink of wine before handing it to Azure. She eyed it and shook her head.
“I don’t really need any fox germs. Thanks, though.” She turned to find Blisters poking around next to Monet’s horse. “Well, it looks like we’re camping here tonight, especially because that damn bitch Yako stole my horse.”
“Yes, kitsune are quite tricky like that. The horse was probably only hidden in the woods, if you want to search,” Gillian said.
“No. I can’t risk one of you going missing again.”
Trees rustled in the forest and Manx appeared, now taking on the appearance of the black stallion again, his eyes white beams of light.
“Thanks for your help,” Azure said, pushing to a standing position.
“What the fuck is that?” Monet asked.
“This is Manx, and he saved me from a kelpie and you from a kitsune,” she said to Monet before turning back to the pooka. “Thank you again.”
“And I’m happy to help you a bit more. It appears you’re in need of a horse,” Manx said.
“Thank you, that would be—”
“Wait!” Gillian interrupted. “Pookas can’t be trusted. Queen Azure, I must caution you.”
“Gillian, Manx helped us. I won’t judge him based on the reputation of other pookas,” Azure lectured the gnome.
“Queen Azure, your friend is right. Pookas have been known to hunt men, scare children, and demand unfair payments. However, we also have other reputations, do we not, gnome?” Manx turned, casting his white eyes on Gillian.
He gulped, tilting his head back and forth, weighing the information in his mind. “Yes, there is supposedly another side to pookas. I’ve heard tales of them offering lost travelers information, but they may have been the very reason the person was lost, as in my case. And they will do the day’s work of someone they are loyal to. I’ve also heard tell of them offering great gifts to those they admire. However, they also vandalize the farms of people who don’t tolerate their demands for attention, and throw innocent men into mud pits for entertainment. Be warned, Queen Azure—if you allow this pooka to come with us on our travels you must accept the good with the bad.”
Azure pursed her lips, assessing what she’d been told. “Manx, why do you want to accompany us?”
“Simply because I’m bored and could use a reason to venture away from these parts. It’s not a good excuse, but it’s the only one I have. Fairies tend to live in the moment, looking for a breeze to blow us in new directions,” Manx said.
“You don’t have a father you want to help? Will you betray me to save him? Is this all a set up?” Azure asked, her arms crossed and her tone serious.
“That’s quite specific, and no. But I’m happy to trample the person who did that to you,” Manx said, stamping his hoof on the ground and making it vibrate.
Azure released a laugh, needing that relief. “Yes, I wear my demons on my shoulder. I’d be happy to have you accompany us. Mischief is okay, Merlin knows. If I outlawed it, none of my friends would be on this journey with me. However, Manx, try not to get yourself or any of us in trouble.”
“Agreed,” he said and shrank into the form of a black bunny. He hopped over to where Blisters was already fast asleep and curled up with him.
“Well, that fairy just got a bit more interesting,” Monet said, taking a seat and extending a hand to Gillian. The gnome gave him the wine and the two finished off the bottle as they listened to the night sounds of the forest.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Azure awoke to find a large black dog sitting next to her, staring at her with a keen interest. She scrambled backward, taking her blanket with her as she did.
“You snore,” the dog said.
“Manx? Is that you?” she asked, leaning forward and squinting at the scraggly dog.
“Yeah. How come you don’t recognize me?” the dog asked, shifting into the form of a black cat. He stretched into a standing position and trotted off toward the riverbank.
Monet and Gillian started to stir, their now-open eyes watching the pooka as he traipsed across the camp area.
“Seriously, that fairy needs to write down all the forms he can take,” Monet said, his stare full of bewilderment.
“It’s already well documented,” Gillian informed them, standing and brushing himself off casually, as if sleeping on a river bank was completely normal.
“Why don’t you save me the time of looking up this info and tell me?” Monet rose as well, yelping with pain when he extended his arms overhead. A kink in his shoulder made him grimace.
“Let’s not ask fo
r things that won’t ever happen. We’ve lost a horse, but gained a horse-dog-cat-fox-rabbit-raven. I’d count us lucky,” Azure said, crouching next to Blisters, who was still fast asleep. She ran a hand over his side, trying to wake him. He rolled onto his back, his hooves in the air. Finally he peeked open one blue eye and sneezed. The unicorn then fell over onto his side, sneezing several times in a row.
“Blisters, are you okay? Are you coming down with something?” Azure asked, backing away from the magical creature.
He shook his mane, snot spraying the area. “Oh, no. I sneeze profusely upon waking up. I always have.”
“Because that’s not weird,” Monet said, pointing his wand at the empty wine bottle, making it disappear.
“No, totally normal. Like everyone in this ragtag crew.” Azure cupped her hands around her mouth. “Manx, we’re heading out in a bit.”
“I think he’s catching our breakfast.” Monet had a green potion in his hands and took a sip. “I, for one, don’t eat fish.”
“What’s in the potion?” Azure asked him.
“My daily dose of protein, fiber, and all the essential vitamins,” he said, extending the bottle to Azure.
Damn, Monet was a crafty wizard when he wanted to be, she thought. When word got out about his brilliance, Azure would never hear the end of it from him. She grabbed it and took a long sip, draining the bottle. Azure wiped the back of her hand across her mouth afterward. “Thank you. You’re a life-saver. And hey, this stuff doesn’t taste bad.”
“Oh, that’s because of the frog semen,” Monet said with a victorious grin.
“Tell me you’re joking,” Azure begged.
“Sorry, Queeny, it’s common knowledge that the amphibian’s semen has a honey taste and is full of a ton of vitamins, making it the star ingredient in the potion,” Monet said, as if she was an idiot for not knowing this information.
“Why couldn’t I have been born a simple human on Earth who didn’t have strange pets and magic?” Azure asked, her gaze on the sky.
“I’ll remind you, Queen Azure, that you are human,” Gillian informed her.