Jesus, but you have a temper. I told you, being assigned to you is considered onerous duty. Why do you suppose that is, huh? It's because you're such a straight-arrow no tempter has a chance of getting you to commit any kind of sin, no matter how insignificant. So why would you need a shoulder angel? You do her job better than she would. In fact, I hear being assigned to you is considered a rather cushy posting Upstairs. She's probably off somewhere working on her tan, the stuck-up little bitch! Me, I'll probably spend my time doing my nails. Big whoop."
Differel forced herself to relax. If she was having a dream, she should be able to control it, but she would have to be calm, and if she wasn't, getting mad still wouldn't help her situation.
"Hey." DeeDee broke into her thoughts. "Do you mind if I change into something more comfortable?"
Before Differel had a chance to respond, the devil-doll disappeared in a flash of fire and a puff a smoke. A larger column of smoke and flame sprang up in front of the desk, startling her, accompanied again by the organ note, now loud enough to shake the desk. DeeDee reappeared, full-sized, but otherwise no different. She stretched in a languid, almost provocative, manner, as if working the kinks out of the compacted muscles.
"Man, does that feel good! Being shoulder-size gets to be pretty confining after awhile."
Somehow, Differel found her larger size more disturbing, in more ways than one. "Are you sure this isn't a dream?"
DeeDee walked around the desk to her side. Differel reached under the top to grip her pistol, but didn't pull it when she leaned backwards against the edge. "If you don't believe me, call someone. If this is a dream, they'll see me, otherwise they won't."
She raised an eyebrow as she removed her hand. "I can call anyone?"
"Anybody you like."
She smirked. "Hmph. As you wish." And she sent out a familiar mental summons.
Vlad Drakulya emerged from the corner closest to the door. "You rang, My Master?" he said in his deep bass voice.
From "Fun 'n' Games"
Sir Differel Van Helsing sat at her desk, filling out another in the endless series of reports she submitted to the Privy Council, when Aelfraed entered with a food tray. She glanced up at him and went back to writing, oblivious to everything except trying to explain a request for more personnel, so it took a few moments for the shilling to drop. When it did, she snapped her head up in wide, pop-eyed shock as her heart stammered.
He wore the costume of a BDSM submissive, what little of it there was.
"What the bloody hell is this?!"
He didn't bat an eye. "Your lunch, Madam." He placed the tray down in front of her, on top of her report, neither of which was appropriate.
She raised an eyebrow, exasperated. "No, I mean your attire."
"Ah, yes, of course, I image that would seem strange. The staff had a meeting this morning and we voted on a change of uniforms."
She frowned, irritated. "Without consulting me?" Then she realized how ridiculous it sounded to be upset about that rather than the result.
"My apologies, My Lady, but it was an emergency. We also came to the consensus that we were entitled to a daily orgy."
She just about had a heart attack. "Orgy?!"
"Yes, My Lady. In fact, today's has already started and I am anxious to get back. You're welcome to join us after you've finished eating. We won't stand on ceremony." And he took the top off the plate.
"Is this a bloody joke --" she began, then cut herself off with a hiss when she looked down, jumping back in her chair. The plate was filled with feces covered in vomit.
"My Holy God!"
"It's a new dish Madam Trumbo and I whipped up. We're eager to see what you think."
This is a bloody nightmare! she thought. "If you expect me to eat this, you're crackers!"
He actually looked disappointed. "I admit it's unusual." He took the fork and cut off one end. "Perhaps it could use a different preparation."
She watched in horrified fascination as he raised the utensil to his face, but just before he inserted it into his mouth, she leapt out of her chair and slapped it out of his hand.
"What the bloody hell's come over you, you git?!"
He managed to look appalled and outraged at the same time. "Really, Madam! You don't have to eat it, but your behavior is most uncalled for! Now, if you'll excuse me, my Mistresses will be getting impatient." And he stalked out of the room.
She felt too shocked to react. It made absolutely no sense. If she were not certain she was awake, she would have suspected she was dreaming. As it was, it seemed too surreal to comprehend.
Snap out of it, you bloody slag! Looking down, she felt her stomach churn with disgust at the contents of the plate, and she put the cover back on to keep it out of sight. She felt her gut quake with nausea, and she took a moment to light a cigarillo to calm it. She then headed out the door into the hall beyond.
It looked deserted. She could see all the way down to the security gate that closed off access from the central and eastern sections of the house, and there should have been two guards, one outside her office door and the other down by the gate. She walked towards the end where the hall connected with the transverse corridor that ran the length of that wing north to south, and paused to look down towards the offices. There should have been a third guard on duty there as well, and usually a few people were walking the halls or enjoying a smoke out in the west portico, but she saw no one.
Using her security key card, she unlocked the gate and headed up the family passage. She found no one outside in the north portico, but when she reached the door that led into the great hall, she thought she heard moaning and wailing, like a horde of Zombies was on the other side. She threw open the door and charged onto the dais at the west end, but stopped dead at what she saw.
Her entire staff--servants, analysts, and guards alike--lay naked on the floor in a gigantic undulating mass, engaging everyone they could reach in numerous sexual acts of the most disgusting nature imaginable. In the center, Aelfraed kneeled between Mrs. Widget and Madam Trumbo dressed in dominatrix outfits.
She stood paralyzed, wondering if the whole world had suddenly gone mad.
Six young maids cavorted with three footmen no more than a fathom from the foot of the dais. One of them happened to look up, and her face split into a huge grin.
"There she is!" That caught the attention of her five companions, but the footmen remained oblivious.
"Get her!" another shouted, and the six jumped up and charged the dais. The footmen remained where they were, and simply transferred their affections to new partners and each other.
Surprised, Differel could only take a couple of steps backwards before they swarmed over the edge and surrounded her, cutting off her escape. Giggling and shrieking, they grappled her.
"What? Stop! Take your hands off me!" But they ignored her as they began ripping off her clothes.
She struggled, but they were stronger than she expected, and they had the advantage as they bore her to the floor. "Get off of me, you filthy slags! Let me go! That's an order!"
They stripped her down to her underwear, but just as they tore away her bra and panties Vlad appeared behind her head. He roared, assuming a horrifying visage, and the maids fled screaming back to the mass of people in the main part of the hall.
He held out his hand; she took it and he pulled her up. She looked past him and saw the staff getting on their feet and advancing towards the dais.
"I think we should leave."
He turned to look where she stared. "I can stop them," he rumbled.
"I don't want you to hurt them!"
He turned to give her a mocking leer. "Then discretion would be the better part of valor."
"Cover me!" She ran for the door, and she heard her people give chase. She raced down the passage to the gate and jumped through, then turned and slammed it shut in the mob's face, locking it. Vlad flowed through the bars and the lead people fell against it, trying to push it open. Deciding not to wait to see
what they did next, she sprinted for her office, closed the door, and locked it down as Vlad appeared through the wall.
"Get the other one!"
He closed and locked down the door to the meeting room as she went to the safe and ran the combination.
"Stand aside." He pulled the heavy door open with little effort. "Inside."
She ran in just as she heard banging on the outer doors. Vlad pushed the door closed and turned the lock, and she heard it engage.
Reaching above her, she turned on the light as the Master Vampire stepped through the door. "You are safe for the moment."
"Aelfraed knows the combination."
"It will take awhile to get the other doors open."
"He also knows about the access panel." In the back of the chamber lay a kick-away panel that opened onto a secret helical staircase.
"I will prevent anyone from getting in that way."
"No, I have a more important task for you. We need to know how far this has spread. Go to the groundskeeper's cottage. If he and his family are safe, evacuate them and have them raise the alarm. If they've succumb, go to the military compound. If you have to go further, keep going as far as you musr until you find normal people. Is that clear?"
"Crystal, My Master." And he disappeared in a cloud of shadow.
She didn't know how long she had before the others reached her, but she had to formulate a plan. The best place to head for would be the emergency shelter in the basement, but she didn't want to become trapped
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