by Emily Lowry
“Morning.” I poured myself a glass. “How’d you sleep?”
Chase looked at me, frowning. “Never mind me, dude, you look like you got no sleep at all. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes and everything.”
“Too wired,” I said. “What’s the plan for today?”
“We were thinking of doing a hike. But we’re pretty flexible now that it’s just the three of us.”
My stomach dropped. “Just the three of us?”
Abby nodded. “Hailey wasn’t feeling great, so Trey and Jordyn took her home. They think it’s some kind of stomach bug. Apparently, she was up all night.” Abby looked at Chase. “Which is weird. My room’s right beside the bathroom, but I didn’t hear a thing.”
Chase shrugged. “Didn’t hear anything from the couch, either. I was pretty tired from driving though. You hear anything?”
“No,” I said. I didn’t hear anything because there was nothing to hear. It was obvious. Hailey’s sickness was just a cover so Jordyn could leave without Chase asking her too many questions. I leaned against the counter and rubbed my eyes. Even the smell of bacon and coffee couldn’t cheer me up this morning.
Jordyn left.
Things had gotten so bad between us that she actually left.
Was last night the last time we’d see each other as friends?
Or was that over too?
49
Jordyn
Trees blurred outside the van window as Trey passed a silver Civic. An instrumental rock song played on the radio — one of Stonewash Sunrise’s creations. Apparently, Trey liked to listen to it as he drove so he could try to think of lyrics that went with it. He kept his eyes on the road and paid no attention to what was going on in the backseat.
Hailey sat next to me, her tanned face practically glowing in the sun. Even with minimal makeup, she was still gorgeous. The kind of girl who made you do a double take when she walked in the room. But, more than that, she was the kind of girl who would do a favor for a friend without hesitation. Even if you didn’t give her the full story.
And I definitely had not given her the full story. But that’s what friends were for — they gave you their unconditional support. That was the friendship I had — or used to have — with Dylan.
Hailey smiled at me. “How’re you feeling?”
I shrugged. My mouth was dry, and I had a headache. I spent all summer looking forward to this weekend, then ran away before it really got started.
“You know you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Hailey said. “But I’m here if you need me.”
She’d never come out and say it, but she was dying to know why we’d left so suddenly. I was sure she had her suspicions, even if she’d never admit them.
I needed to tell someone. The more I kept my secrets to myself, the more they would eat me alive. And who better than Hailey? “I know you’ll keep it quiet, but what about him?” I nodded to Trey.
Without answer, he turned up the music, his face a mask of concentration.
“Don’t worry,” Hailey said. “He’ll stay in his own world if he knows what’s good for him.”
Trey smirked, nodded.
“Fine,” I said. I lit the fuse, ready to drop the dynamite. “Dylan and I kissed.”
Hailey’s eyes widened. She kept her lips pressed shut, barely holding in a hundred thousand questions. I answered what I knew would be her most pressing question.
“We kissed a lot. All throughout summer.”
Hailey screeched, her voice pitched so high that only dogs could hear it.
“Don’t get too excited,” I said. “It’s over.”
Her face fell. “Over? What do you mean, over? It’s barely started.”
“And there was a reason for that,” I said. “Some things just aren’t meant to be.”
She rolled her eyes. “How are you possibly not meant to be? You’ve known each other forever. He was literally your first crush. You almost punched me because I didn’t think he was cute.”
“Almost? That doesn’t sound like me.”
“Maybe you did punch me. But whatever. How can it be over? Explain yourself, Jordyn Jones.”
Ugh, where to start? I told Hailey how it all began. The competition at the carnival and the love doctor, flirting at Beachbreak, our first kiss at the Jones Family Drive-in. “And we agreed that because it was so complicated, when Chase got back, we’d end things. Because of the code or whatever.”
Trey snorted.
I glared. “Got something to say, music man?”
“The code’s a bunch of BS. If he really cared about some stupid code, he wouldn’t have kissed you. But you do you.” Trey skipped to the next track. This one opened with a guitar riff.
“Why would it matter if Chase was back?” Hailey asked.
“It just does.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because why?” Hailey persisted, an annoying little smirk on her face.
“Oh my gosh, could you not?”
“Then tell me,” Hailey said firmly.
“Because I’m Chase’s sister. Because it’s complicated. Because we were friends.” I glared at Hailey, but to her credit, she didn’t back down. “Because love ruins everything. Especially friendships. Not that that matters because I’ve probably destroyed things anyway.”
I slumped in my seat. Ugh. UGH.
Hailey looked at me intently. “So. Do you love him?”
I stared out the window, hoping I could find something, anything, that I could use as a distraction to get me out of this conversation. But there was only trees, road signs, and mountains. None of which would be enough to get the bloodhound beside me off the scent of some juicy relationship drama.
“You love him,” Hailey said. Not a question, a statement.
“Why do you think that?” I asked, feigning innocence.
“When I asked you if you and Pete were together, you gave me a hard denial. Every single time. You said no so many times I thought it was the only word you knew. But now, I ask you if you love Dylan, and you won’t even deny it. Not once.”
Ugh.
The worst part of having a best friend was that they knew you better than you knew yourself. And the worst part about what Hailey was saying?
She was right.
I was in love with my childhood friend.
I was in love with Dylan.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” I said.
Hailey rolled her eyes. Tapped Trey on the shoulder. “Mind pulling over?”
Trey signaled and pulled into a rest stop.
“Why are we stopped?” I asked.
Hailey smiled. She unbuckled her seat belt, opened the van door, and stepped out. A second later, there was a knock on my door. She was standing there, still smiling.
Had she lost her mind?
I slid open the door.
Hailey put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “Jordyn. I love you. And I’m doing this for your own good.”
Then she slapped me.
My cheek stung. Anger boiled through my veins. I lunged for Hailey, but the seat belt pulled tight, stopping my revenge and lightly choking me. “What was that for?” I growled.
“The first one is for being an idiot.”
First one?
Before I could process what she said, she slapped me again. Not hard. Not enough to do any damage, but enough to wake me up. Enough to make me angry. I reached to unbuckle my seatbelt while Trey chuckled from the driver’s seat.
Hailey shoved me back down, then stepped away before I could swing at her. She knew me well.
“You sit down and listen, Jordyn Jones.” Hailey had the tone of the meanest teacher in Evermore. “Falling in love with someone is rare. It’s rarer than a shooting star. Rarer than a lightning strike. It does not happen every day. And for some people, it doesn’t happen at all. Ever.”
“What’s your point?” I asked, gingerly rubbing my cheek.
/> “Falling in love with your childhood best friend and having a relationship? That’s like seeing a shooting star get hit by lightning. If it works out, it’s like winning the lottery.”
“If it works out.”
Hailey ignored me. “And you’re sitting here, with the potential winning lottery ticket, and you’re afraid to check it. Do you understand? You’re willing to miss out on something amazing because you’re afraid. And what are you even afraid of?”
“Have you met my parents?” I snapped. “Childhood friends. Got married. Now they hate each other.”
Hailey was smart; she wouldn’t deny the terrible marriage my parents were in. “So it didn’t work. Sometimes relationships don’t work. That’s life, Jordyn. And I know you. I know you will keep pushing boys away if they get too close to you because you’re afraid of ending up like your parents. And I get it, J. I do. Probably the only reason Dylan could get close to you was because he was your friend so you weren’t paying attention. If you had been paying attention, you would’ve pushed him away too.”
I grimaced and looked away, feeling the familiar sting in my eyes, the familiar heat in my cheeks. She was right. I pushed away every boy who actually liked me — or every boy I actually liked. In their place, I substituted weak, vanilla Pete Landry types. The type of guy who would never hurt me. And the reason they’d never hurt me? Because I’d never care enough about them to give them the chance.
Pete Landry could never hurt me. Not in a million years.
Dylan Ramirez? He could break my heart into a thousand pieces.
“So fine,” Hailey said, still ranting. “Be an idiot. Be a coward. Push Dylan away. But if you keep pushing away the guys you care about, you will end up with Pete Landry. And what did you say about him? He had the personality of the color beige? If you keep being so careful, that’s what you’ll end up with. You won’t be Jordyn Jones. You’ll be Jordyn Beige.”
I hated that she was right.
“So,” Hailey said, raising her eyebrows. “What’s it going to be? Are you going to take a chance, or do I need to slap you again?”
50
Dylan
I was the first one to the top of the mountain. My legs burned, and I was panting, but the view was worth it. Pine trees reached into the sky, a trail winding through them. The mountains gave way to rolling hills, and in the far distance, just on the edge of the horizon, I could see a small town. The view was so stunning that, for at least a moment, I forgot about all the drama in my life.
Chase and Abby followed close behind. Abby pulled out her phone and immediately started taking pictures, walking back and forth across the vantage point, searching for the perfect angle. She dipped back into the bushes, and Chase and I were alone on top of the mountain.
If there was ever a time to tell him about me and Jordyn, this was it. It was time to man up and admit the truth. No more lying.
“I got something to tell you,” I said.
Chase stood beside me. We both stared at the horizon, our arms crossed, the morning sun on our faces. “What’s that?” he asked.
There was no good way to tell your best friend that you were seeing his sister over the summer. Especially when he thought you weren’t interested in a real relationship. Would he think I was just using Jordyn? That we were just having fun? How would I make him see how much I cared about her?
“Jordyn and I got together over summer.”
The words iced the air between us. Chase’s fists clenched, but he remained composed. “And you told me this while we were standing on top of a mountain?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t throw me off.”
“I’m still thinking about it,” Chase grumbled.
“Let me know if I should start running,” I joked. He didn’t laugh.
“You lied.”
“I did. And Chase, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do.” I kicked at the ground. “We didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just… happened. It was unexpected.”
Chase glanced at the bushes where Abby had disappeared. “I might understand that.” His voice wasn’t exactly friendly, but I didn’t think he would throw me off the mountain. Which was a start, at least.
“I wanted you to hear it from me,” I said. “And I wanted you to know that I care about her. A lot. It wasn’t just some casual thing with a cheerleader. There was something real. Something that mattered.”
“What a mess,” Chase said. He rubbed his eyes. “I love Jordyn. And I’m protective over her. But, as much as I hate to say it, you don’t need my permission. I know my sister. She’s smart. Capable. And she makes her own decisions. If she got together with you for the summer, then that’s cool.”
It didn’t sound like it was cool.
“Chase, I would never use Jordyn. I would never have gotten involved with her if I didn’t have real feelings...”
“So, you’re still together?” He cut me off.
I paused for a moment. “No.”
“But you said—”
“She didn’t want it to go beyond a summer thing.”
Chase sighed. “You’re going to need to give me some time. This is a lot to take in.”
“I get it.”
We stood in silence and watched the sun climb into the sky. Now and then, there was a rustling sound from the bushes as Abby scurried around to collect pictures.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t apologize for falling in love with my sister,” Chase replied. He turned to look at me — properly looking me in the eye for the first time in this entire conversation. “You do love her, don’t you?”
I closed my eyes. “There’s something I need to do.”
51
Jordyn
We arrived home in the early evening, and I immediately retreated to my bedroom. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone or dealing with anything. Besides, my parents probably barely noticed that I returned. It’s not like I was Chase. What I did didn’t matter.
I ate a tasteless bowl of cereal, then spent the rest of the night drifting in and out of a fitful sleep. Dreams of kissing Dylan mingled with nightmares of Chase and him fighting, Hailey slapping me senseless, Dylan telling me he didn’t love me, didn’t want me, that I was just another casual, meaningless thing to him. A summer fling to be forgotten.
A knock on my door woke me the next morning.
“What?” I asked grumpily.
The door creaked open. Chase. His face gave everything away immediately: he knew. Dylan must have told him everything. What had he said about me? What did Chase think? Was he ok? Was Dylan okay?
I opened my mouth to ask the first of a million questions, but Chase fixed me with a silencing glare. “Mom and dad. They want to talk to us.”
“Great. Really looking forward to it.” Chase didn’t know what they would talk about, but I did. To say I wasn’t looking forward to it was the understatement of the century. But, even if you knew you were about to be expelled, you still had to make the long walk to the principal’s office.
In the living room, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the couch, their hands folded together. Mom’s eyes were puffy and Dad looked as tired as I’d ever seen him. The way they were sitting was like it was out of an after school special. It probably was, honestly. They probably spent all night watching cheesy TV shows to find the best way to break the news.
I sat on a chair in the corner of the room. Chase didn’t sit, choosing instead to pace back and forth.
“We want you to know that we love you very much,” Mom said.
I closed my eyes and waited for it all to end.
52
Dylan
Chase opened the door. His eyes were red, his smile was weak. He didn’t look like the Chase Jones I knew. The confident, borderline cocky quarterback who called plays and threw touchdowns. He looked like a kid. Shy, sad. From the entry, I could see Abby sitting on the couch behind him, a box of tissues on her lap.
“Did she text you?” Chase asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good,” Chase said. “She didn’t want to talk to me or Abby.”
I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. “How are you holding up?”
“Rough,” Chase said. “I knew the divorce was coming. It’s been coming for a long time. But… it’s still rough. Still…”
He couldn’t finish his sentence.
I gave him a hug. Thumped him on the back. “If you need anything.”
“Thanks, man.”
He retreated to the couch and sat next to Abby. She looked at me quizzically, then pointed to the bag I was carrying. “What’s that?”
“They’re for Jordyn.” I set the bag on the table. “When she’s ready. How is she?”
“She’s in her room,” Chase said.
“Okay.” I left the bag on the table and went to Jordyn’s room, gently knocking on the door. There was no response, but I didn’t expect one. She hadn’t officially told me what happened. All she did was text an emoji of a crying face. But that was all she needed to do to let me know that she needed me. I suspected her parents had officially announced their divorce, and Chase confirmed it.
I knocked again, then let myself in.
Jordyn was lying on the floor at the foot of her bed. She stared at the ceiling and didn’t acknowledge my presence. It was like she was in a waking coma.
I closed the door quietly. Sat beside her on the floor and took her hand in mine. Her fingers were cold.
“I know it’s a stupid question, but how are you?”
“You’re right, Ramirez,” Jordyn said. Her voice cracked. “It is a stupid question.”
I squeezed her hand, then laid on the floor beside her, staring up at the ceiling.
We didn’t talk for a long time. Sometimes, words weren’t enough. I held her hand in mine, desperately wishing she would warm up. Despite the summer heat, it was strangely cold in her room. Like she was blasting the air conditioning.