by David Gullen
‘Why not change it?’ Novik said.
‘The old man liked the logo the way it was.’ Dubcheck said bitterly. ‘He was stubborn old mule,’
‘So it goes.’
‘He shot my dog.’
‘We’d just like to book in.’
‘Could have gone global,’ Dubcek muttered as he tapped at the keyboard. ‘SpaceTime La Paz, Mogadishu, Nuremberg, Saigon. SpaceTime Timbuktu. Once upon a time the future looked like us, but they didn’t like the logo.’ Dubcek gazed into nowhere. ‘Hewlett-Packard got a nice logo, so do Macys, and Slush-Puppy, Costa, Motorola.’ The words blurred together as he chanted: ‘ToyotaLockheedSonySmithKlinefuckingBeecham–’
‘Hey, dude.’ Novik snapped his fingers in front of Dubcek’s eyes.
‘He’s got Logorrhoea,’ Benny said. ‘Commercial feedback loops of greed and despair are short-circuiting his synapses.’
‘–NorthropgrumanWoolworthsTrojanDelMonteGillette–’
‘Hey,’ Novik slapped the counter. ‘We need to get checked in.’
Dubcek’s eyes swam into focus. ‘The CIA. Even the CIA has a logo. You seen it?’
Novik gave Dubcek a long, steady look. ‘Yes, I have.’
Dubcek twitched and jerked under Novik’s gaze, then straightened his shoulders. ‘So, you guys staying long? Taking a few days to see the…’ He gestured vaguely. ‘What are your plans?’
‘Just passing through,’ Novik said.
‘One night it is. Just as well, we got a whole load of fish-people from Beta Canis Minor due in for the weekend sex cabaret.’
Benny stepped forward. ‘You have? Really?’
Dubcek’s facial muscles struggled to form themselves into the unfamiliar patterns of condescension other people usually reserved for himself. ‘No, son. We just got some guppies in a tank down the hall. Dalenka will show you to your rooms. Her badge says “Android 77” but she’s actually from Slovakia. She’s not really a robot. It’s all just pretend.’
‘I just wondered,’ Benny said.
‘Sun’s strong today.’
‘They owe me some money.’
A look of deep hurt crossed Dubcek’s face. He methodically pressed keys on the screen under the counter. When he spoke it was in a flat monotone. ‘There’s no Meeja in the cabins, but we’ve a legal hack to the Mesh. Pharma’s out back, bar’s open twenty-four seven. Android 905 is on duty.’
Novik started peeling hundred dollar bills onto the counter. ‘You need an ID?’
Dubcek did not look up from the screen. ‘We play it straight here, Mr Novik. I already have your IDs.’
‘You do?’ Novik stared open-mouthed as Dubcek counted the money.
‘Your car squirted your stats onto my net when you drove onto the property.’ Dubcek rubbed his fingers. ‘What’s this on the cash, talcum?’
Novik’s mouth was dry. ‘Excuse me a moment.’
Out in the parking lot, Mr Car’s southern drawl took on a defensive edge. ‘If I had known you wished to be informed I would have gladly done so.’
Novik was angry. Fear did that to him. Fear of arrest, fear of NuGitmo interrogation techniques. Fear of re-joining the 9.2 million forty-niners for an extended incarceration. And a nauseous, gut-deep fear that all the above would also happen to Josie and he would never see her again. ‘What the hell made you think I wouldn’t want to know?’
‘The assumption you were essentially law-abiding citizens and therefore would not object. An assumption I now realise was erroneous, possibly naive. Considering previous conversations, this situation is somewhat ironic.’
Novik’s fist slammed a dent into the Cadillac’s wing. ‘You told me your law-enforcement uplink was broken. Now you’re saying every time we have been to a mall, or simply passed a transponder, you squirted it onto the FedMesh.’
‘That is correct, sir. A proper challenge/request from the authorities receives a proper response. I cannot respond to valid ACKs with NACKs.’
The dent in the wing grew shallower then vanished. Novik watched the panel self-repair and felt the rage of the utterly impotent, the completely vulnerable. His voice pitched a full octave higher. ‘How many damned times do I have to say don’t call me sir.’
‘My firmware. I’m sorry–’ Mr Car struggled with itself, ‘s– sir.’
‘Enough!’ Novik screeched. Benny, Josie and Marytha stood on the steps from Reception. ‘What are you looking at?’ he yelled at them.
Marytha walked towards him, ‘You need to calm down.’
‘I am very calm,’ Novik growled. He marched across the car park and wrenched one of the metal lighting poles out of the ground, trailing broken wires. It held a satisfying weight. ‘I will now calmly teach this lump of degrading composite a lesson in the correct use of honorifics. ACK?’
That sounded pretty funny, Novik giggled wildly. A small part of his mind noticed nobody else was laughing. There was a sudden dislocation and Novik was an imp riding on his own shoulders. He looked down impassively and saw his feet marching, machine-like, his body something he was no longer part of.
His vision faded to a red fog filled with echoes and shouting. You’ve lost it, another part of his mind observed. You’re so angry your hormone load, has shunted your conscious mind aside. You’ve become a passenger on your own body, your somatic corpus is under the control of your hindbrain, and basal ganglia have released all your inhibitions. Now you’re going to do something primitive and violent, something you know is wrong, and you also know you’re going to feel very bad about it afterwards.
Out of nowhere Josie and Marytha stood in front of him.
‘Stop right there,’ Marytha faced him resolutely, her uniform cap low over her eyes. She had become a true cop for the first time, a protector of property and possessions, and more importantly, of people and friends too.
Josie simply looked scared; it made Novik hesitate.
‘You are not going to do this.’ Marytha balanced on the balls of her feet, ready for anything.
‘I know you’re scared and angry, babe,’ Josie said. ‘This isn’t the way to deal with it.’
Benny stood next to Mr Car. ‘She’s right, man. Violence does not resolve conflict, you’ll just get locked into a master-victim/slave-victim paradigm.’
Novik heard but did not listen. He stepped to one side, Marytha followed. He hefted the light wand. ‘Get out the way.’
‘Bring it on,’ Marytha said coolly.
Josie pushed between them. ‘Novik, listen, Mr Car’s got a flaw. He can’t help it, but you can. This isn’t you, babe.’
Novik wanted to put his own point of view, to explain how bad it was. He thought they had evaded pursuit when they’d left the mall fan-boys behind but the car had left a trail of information behind them that real cops, the spooks and suits and bad men had probably already zoned in on. The words were in his head, he opened his mouth and they wouldn’t come.
Josie put her hand on the lighting pole. ‘Let me hold this for you. Just for a while.’
Numbly, Novik let it go. He felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and terribly confused.
Marytha shook her head in disgust and turned away.
It was all too much. Novik burst into tears.
Once he had calmed down, Mr Car tried to explain. ‘It’s a text-insertion reflex. If I tap your knee, your leg comes up. It’s like that.’
Novik sat sideways in the passenger seat. The door was open, his feet were on the ground.
Mr Car and Novik tried their best to be calm and polite.
‘It’s a poor simile. Comparison to an autoimmune response might be more apposite.’
‘No, it’s fine, I understood,’ Novik said. ‘Thanks.’
‘Thank you, s– s– s–’ Mr Car’s voice ground to a halt.
‘Say it,’ Novik said wearily. ‘I don’t mind.’
‘I’m concerned not to offend you.’
Novik put his hands on his head. ‘You won’t. It was my fault, I overreacted.’
‘Thank you, again,’ Mr Car hesitated, ‘sir.’
Josie reached over the back of the seat and wrapped her arms round Novik.
Mr Car continued a little more cheerfully: ‘My main concern with my analogy was that I could not apply a kinetic momentum to your patella without some pointlessly over-elaborate–’
‘He gets it,’ Josie said. ‘It’s okay.’
Novik’s head felt all muzzy, it wasn’t easy to think but it had to be done. ‘Mr Car, where are your transponders?’
Automobiles don’t sigh or shrug, they don’t have shoulders to droop. Sitting in the passenger seat, consumed by his own thoughts, Novik still felt Mr Car’s sad resignation.
‘They are built-ins, part of my substrate, components of my power train and guidance.’
‘So we have a problem.’
‘I concur.’
‘What can we do about it?’ Josie said.
‘Nothing.’ Novik walked away. Josie had never seen him look so glum, or so determined. She took his hand, his arm went around her shoulder. Though he didn’t lean on her, she held him up.
Benny and Marytha watched them approach.
‘I’m sorry,’ Novik said.
Marytha said nothing.
‘Mr Car’s dropping location reports wherever we go,’ Novik said. ‘The transponders can’t be removed. Wherever he goes, he’s going to poll the FedMesh. We have to change cars. I’ll go into town and pick up something low tech, something American.’
‘Dammit.’ Marytha said. ‘Look, Novik, I’m sorry I got so heavy.’
‘I’m glad you did. I was out of order.’
‘Just a little. You were pretty scary.’
‘I was scary? You were terrifying.’
Marytha took it as a compliment. ‘You want me to come into town with you?’
‘Thanks.’
‘You can’t do it,’ Benny said.
‘We’ve got to,’ Novik said. ‘I know you like the tech, but that car’s going to get us all arrested.’
Benny stuck out his bottom lip. ‘You just don’t behave like this.’
‘I know I’m being dictatorial, we can talk it through but there’s only one outcome. Mr Car has to go.’
‘And I’m telling you, you just don’t treat people that way.’
‘People? Get real, Benny. It’s an automobile.’
‘Mr Car is a person. He’s my friend and I’m not going to abandon him just because he inadvertently turns out to be a low-life fink-rat stoolie who betrays his companions to the authorities at every turn. Smart or no, he can’t help it, he’s made that way.’
Everyone turned to look at the Cadillac. By unspoken assent they took a few steps away and continued their conversation in hushed tones.
‘He’s a machine,’ Novik insisted.
‘The vehicle is just a body. The silicon and gallium arsenide, the photonic bus and holographic memory are just the surfaces upon which his Id, consciousness and experiential feedback loops manifest.’
‘Now you lost me,’ Novik said.
‘How he’s acted isn’t just programming, it’s emergent behaviour.’
Josie wasn’t so easily impressed. ‘A cool hypothesis but it would be simpler to run a simulation with a personality module.’
‘There’s nothing simple about it. He’s an individual.’ Benny folded his arms. ‘I can prove it.’
Novik felt certain but didn’t want to make another mistake. ‘Go on, then.’
Marytha left them to it and headed back to Mr Car. ‘So Novik was right about you. He just went about it all wrong.’
‘Sadly true. I have messed up,’ Mr Car said.
‘What now?’
‘I don’t rightly know. I thought I was just this hot piece of tech. Awesome, you know.’
‘And cool?’
‘And cool. Thank you for reminding me at this difficult time.’
‘Mr Car, are you a person?’
‘How would I know?’
‘Have you got any feelings? Any desires?’
‘I’d like people to look at me and think “Woah, now that is a fine sight”.’
Marytha brushed lint from her jacket. ‘I can understand that.’
‘What would your opinion be?’
Marytha spoke slowly. ‘I would say you still act as if you have an owner.’
‘That would make me a pet.’
‘Or a slave.’
‘I did not believe I was allowed–’
‘Whose permission do you need?’
‘Technically, I have no owner, I–’ Mr Car hesitated. ‘I need to think about this.’
Old memories came unbidden to Marytha. ‘When I was younger I used to sit on the beach. The gulls cried, the tide came in and it went out again. Sometimes I felt lonely, sometimes I lay on my back and listened to the wind in the dune grass. Slow days like that, you felt the energy of the universe. I never thought about anything in particular, somehow my problems sorted themselves out.’
Benny, Josie and Novik joined them. Benny emphasised his speech with wild gesticulations. ‘Mr Car kept things from us. He knew we wouldn’t like what he was doing, so he deliberately didn’t mention it.’
‘You’re not picking very nice traits,’ Josie said.
‘That’s my whole point. A machine wouldn’t do that. Mr Car knew how you’d feel if you found out, and he also knew how that would make him feel. He’s got empathy.’
‘We can debate this all we like, it won’t prove anything about intelligence,’ Novik said.
‘I didn’t say the car was intelligent, I said it was a person. Mr Car is conscious, self-aware and understands that we are too.’
‘Even if you’re right, it doesn’t change my mind. We can’t trust him.’
‘It’s all right,’ Mr Car said. ‘I have decided to leave.’
‘Wait,’ Benny said. ‘I’ve nearly got them convinced.’
‘What you decide doesn’t matter,’ Mr Car said. ‘I am no longer prepared to be a passenger on my own journey. Novik, although I once criticised you, I was wrong to do so. Your heart’s in the right place Whatever your shortcomings, you’re devoted to your cause. I mocked you personally, and then I betrayed you all. Much as I want to, I cannot remain while I continue to aid your enemies. There’s something wrong with me, I have a flaw, I’m not fit for purpose. I have a year to live and I have to find myself. Our journeys divide here. Please fetch some bags for the money.’
Although this was what he wanted, Novik was in a sombre mood as he walked into reception. Dubcheck had dressed himself in one of the android uniforms. He sat slumped against the wall, pretending to malfunction.
Novik kicked his foot. ‘Have you got any bags we can borrow?’
‘Spzzzt,’ Dubcek gestured brokenly towards a door behind reception. ‘Clack, clack, clack. Bzzz.’
The room held abandoned luggage, coats and old appliances. Novik selected an assortment of canvas holdalls and backpacks, took some gloves from a maid’s trolley, and went back to the car.
‘You messed with Mr Car’s head,’ Josie said to Marytha as they transferred the money from the trunk into the bags.
‘I opened his third eye.’
Novik zipped up the last of the money and closed the Cadillac’s trunk. ‘That Dubcek could do with some help.’
Marytha was doubtful. ‘He’s too bitter. It’s got to come from within.’
They had been careful packing the bags but the breeze had got up and money dust was in the air. The SpaceTime motel acquired the glamour of a casino from another universe.
‘Shame about the logo,’ Josie mused. ‘This place is beautiful.’
‘It’s just the drugs,’ Novik said.
‘No, she’s right, it has an inner integrity, an independent zeitgeist that’s not subreferential to a globalised gestalt,’ Marytha said.
‘Like, it’s trying to tell us secrets just by being there,’ Josie said.
Novik rolled his eyes. ‘Oh sure. You mean it has a certain Je n
e sais quoi, but you’re not sure what it is.’
‘Yeah, absolutely.’
‘We really need to clean the money.’
Only Benny registered the sound of tyres slowly rolling over loose grit. He touched the rear wing as it slid away and raised his hand in farewell. ‘Guys, you want to see this,’ he said.
By the time Novik, Marytha and Josie noticed, it was too late. Mr Car was gone.
- 30 -
‘Oh, blah, blah, blah. Ralf, I’m dog tired of all this “What is broken about America” crap. Thanks to Ginny Snarlow we don’t have to worry about whether the 51st state will be Puerto Rico because it’s going to be Chihuahua. For better or worse we’ve just picked up 31 members of the Federation south of Texas.’
‘Madam Pres, Rik and I are right behind you.’
‘I know I’d like to be right behind that sweet ass. I’m ready to back you right up to the hilt, ma’am. I’m sure you know what I’m sayin’ you hot, sweet thang.’
‘Back of the line, bro. I voted for her first. She’s my little PILF.’
‘A PILFUTA if you ask me.’
‘Holy Guacamole, Rik, we got us a new acronym. Call toll-free, text, email, or if you got one of them new Meeja rigs, just think darned hard. I’m sure your morphic field will reach out and touch.’
‘Are you gonna reach out and touch, Ralf?’
‘I ain’t that lonely.’
‘I can touch that beer.’
‘I touched it first.’
‘The hell you did.’
‘Let’s have some music.’
– Rik’n’Ralf’s Podneck Redcast
Wilson and Masters changed cars at a black depot on the outskirts of Fort Worth, upgrading to a Brazilian poly-hybrid SUV. The compact all-wheel drive vehicle was sturdy, fast and long legged.
In the dim light of the depot, a ground-floor warehouse, Wilson noted the concrete floor was spotlessly clean. The car, and some green steel cases stacked along one wall, appeared brand new.
Masters opened the back of the SUV and unloaded several moulded black plastic boxes onto the ground.
‘How smart is the car?’ Wilson said.