by Tiana Laveen
“Oh, Mama, before I go, I need to use the bathroom. It’s a long drive home.”
Mama looked a bit perturbed, then quickly fixed her face, as if suddenly realizing she was looking like a loon.
“Oh, uh, yes, of course.”
Troy started to talk about the science project he was working on when Majesty made her way down the hall into the powder room, which smelled of bleach and other cleaning agents. As she relieved herself, she looked around. The fancy bathroom was decorated with black and white posters of London. She’d seen it all before. A sleek medicine cabinet hung above the sink and a plush black and white rug covered the tile floor. Her gaze drifted to the towel rack. Typically, there’d be two towels, but she only saw one.
She washed her hands, then made her way back to the hallway.
“And the toy poodle was bad, and chewing up stuff, so Viper taught it how to stop,” Troy was rattling on to his grandmother.
Mama turned to her, darkness in her eyes.
“My grandson tells me you’re seeing some man who is big, tall, and has a bunch of tattoos, one of which is a damn cross on the middle of his forehead! Majesty! What is wrong with you?!” She raised her arms in exasperation. “You’re beautiful! You have a nice home now, you work; surely you can find you a decent man who doesn’t look like a walking billboard covered in graffiti! And he’s a dog trainer of all things?! I mean, I suppose I should be happy he’s not another damn drug dealer, but there’s no way that income is stable or lucrative. Oh, my God…”
“Mama, you don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t have time for this.”
“You come over here and ask what is wrong with me, Majesty? No, ma’am! What the hell is wrong with you?!” She shook a finger at her. “You are addicted to thugs! It’s always—”
“But Grandmama, Viper isn’t a thug. He’s nice to me!”
Mama tossed on a fake smile as she looked down at Troy.
“Oh honey, you don’t know any better… You’re just a child. Your mother definitely knows better than to do this though!”
“Come on, Troy. Let’s go before things get ugly.”
“Oh? Ugly like your repeated need to be with men who are incapable of getting normal jobs due to choosing a life of crime, no doubt? Troy told me he speaks fluent Spanish, and so that means he’s probably Cuban or Puerto Rican, right?”
“He’s Cuban, Grandma.”
“Hmph. He probably just wants citizenship, then.”
“Mama, you really are a miserable person, aren’t you?”
“Well, misery must love company then, Majesty,” The woman chortled, amused with herself. “Because you’re here, at my home, uninvited. So, if the shoe fits, wear it. I’m going to finish my point, since you want to take pot shots at me. Troy said he looks like a White man with a good tan, so I’m leaning on him being one of those uppity Cubans who think they’re White and believe they are better than us. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“If he thought he was better than us, then why would he and I be dating? You know what? You’re right. I shouldn’t have come over here. Bye, Mama.” Majesty waved the insane woman off. “Oh, and put your dusty wig back on… Maybe it has magical powers that make you more tolerable. If you lost it, I’m sure any ol’ dirty rag the maid left behind will do.” Majesty stormed past her, Troy’s wrist in her grip as she walked out the door and down the front steps. Mama slammed and locked the door behind them. After she got Troy in the car and ensured he had his seatbelt on, she backed out the long driveway, and merged onto the street.
“I promise, Mama, I wasn’t tellin’ yo’ business like you say I do. Grandmama asked me about it. See, she asked me if you had a boyfriend, and I didn’t want to lie. I like Viper. What’s citizenship?”
“It’s when someone is a citizen of this country. People can’t just come here and live without special papers, Troy. Grandma was being racist and trying to imply that Viper came to this country illegally. Viper is as American as you and me. It’s not your fault, baby. I don’t blame you for what my mother said.”
“Why was she so mean today?”
“Baby, your grandmother has some issues, and I stopped trying to figure her out years ago. I am telling you to do the same, or your brain will explode. It saved me a lot of unnecessary stress.” She laughed mirthlessly. “I love my mother though, Troy, so that’s why I drove us here to check on her. She has some good qualities, but a lot of that is overshadowed when she gets like this.”
“She’s nice. Sometimes. She gives us a lot of presents.”
“Yeah, well, I’d rather she be dirt poor and give me love, than gifts and constant judgment and disapproval.” The words slipped out before she could even think about them. Her heart twisted in the cage of her being.
The two were quiet for a while as she headed back home, exhausted.
“I didn’t tell her we saw Grandpa. I know Grandmama don’t like him.”
“Yeah. I’m sure she would’ve had something to say about that, too. The whole mess about Viper was enough drama for one day. Look, your grandfather and I have problems, too, but at least he came to me as a man and admitted he wasn’t perfect and wanted to work on things. I’m not perfect, either, and I was wrong to keep avoiding him so long, so I’m going to try, just like I told him, to see if we can move forward. It won’t be easy, but because of my love for you,” she smiled at her son through the rear-view mirror, and he was smiling back, munching on something from the bag that Mama had given him, “I’m going to put my best foot forward. Okay, baby?”
“Okay, Mama. I love Grandpa. I love Grandmama, too. She just… I don’t know. Weird.”
Majesty burst out laughing, then quickly stopped, not wishing to encourage the behavior. Soon they arrived home, and she was surprised to see Viper sitting on her porch, with Sarge at his side. Before she could even get the car in park, Troy had leaped out and raced up to them.
“Sarge!!!” Troy wrapped his arms around the dog, as if it were his long-lost best friend.
Viper stood, his light slouchy blue jeans and light gray cotton hoodie covering his head, and the zipper down exposing his chest, making him look hella sexy.
“What are you doing here, huh?” She approached him with Troy’s goodies he’d abandoned in the back of the car, then gave him a kiss. Viper wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for another.
“I just wanted to see you.”
“I need to give you a key.” She gave him another kiss, then opened her front door.
“Sarge, wait right here,” Viper ordered.
“Awww!” Troy pouted.
“All right, all right.” Majesty huffed. “He can come in. I’ll just take Benadryl.”
“Yeaaah!”
They all entered the house, and Sarge was looking around in a way that made her laugh. She locked the door and as she turned around, Viper caught her wrist.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You cheatin’ on me? Whose ass do I need to kick?” he teased. “Who gave you the bling?”
“Oh.” She laughed. “My mother. It’s her way of telling us kids she loves us, while simultaneously browbeating us.” She huffed as she worked her sneakers off. “Troy, are you hungry?” She called out as the boy started to play with Sarge in the living room.
“No, Mama!” he said between giggles.
“I think I need the clasp adjusted. It’s a bit too tight. Or my ass is probably just getting big. Probably the latter.” She chuckled. Marie had struck again. The woman kept cooking for Viper, and he kept giving her the damn food! She was officially addicted to Cuban food. There was simply no way around it.
“Here, I’ll adjust it for you,” he offered, removing it from her wrist. She walked into the kitchen, ready to pour them a glass of wine. Viper followed with a strange look on his face.
“What?”
“This is nice, but uh, it’s not real.”
“Huh? My mother doesn’t buy or wear fake jewelry, Viper. Of course it’s real!” She grabbed two glasse
s from the cabinet.
“Baby, I know real diamonds. There are some good fakes out there, but this is just mediocre at best. From a distance, it looks real, but when you look closely, you can see it’s glass. This shit is fake, and I should know, baby. I did a lot of hustling back in the day.” Viper shot a quick glance at Troy, then lowered his voice. “When I was a teenager, my crew used to sell shit like this all the time. We’d pretend it was hot, like we got it from a real jewelry store, like the shit was real and they were getting a deal. We targeted tourists, baby. This is straight up fake.”
She couldn’t believe her damn ears.
“You have to be kidding me!”
He shook his head.
“Nah, Mami, I’m serious. It’s nice, though. You can still wear it. Many won’t be able to tell.” Troy kept popping his head up, trying to eavesdrop no doubt.
“Boy, what are you looking at?” She put her hand on her hip.
“Nothin’, Mama!”
“In there trying to dip in on grown folk’s business!”
He tittered as though he found her comment funny.
“I don’t have a problem with fake jewelry, Viper. Over eighty percent of my collection is fake, and I don’t give a shit. What I have a problem with is frauds.” …And Mama is a whole scammer. “Why in the hell would she do something like this?” And then, it hit her. “Oh my God!”
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t believe I didn’t see this sooner! That explains it all!” She put her hand up to her mouth. “I have to call my sister.”
Brushing past him, she snatched up her purse and removed her cellphone.
“Allison! You won’t believe this!”
“Believe what? Mama said something atrocious, didn’t she? If that’s the case, I definitely believe it,” the woman stated dryly.
“Allison, it’s not that. I think Mr. Gerald and Mama broke up.”
“What?! I doubt it, Majesty. She’d tell us, wouldn’t she? Why do you think that?”
“Mama is looking and acting crazy. That’s clue one. Of course, she was acting all snooty tonight, per usual, but it was extra, like way over the top. There was only one towel in the guest bathroom, too.”
“Why is that a big deal?”
“You know there is usually one for her and one for him. He likes to have his own! Remember she told us that a few years ago? Oh, and check this out. Her refrigerator has hardly any food in it. It’s always stuffed.”
“Yes, I did notice it looked a bit bare. I just figured she hadn’t had time to go to the store, or her grocery delivery hadn’t arrived yet.”
“And here’s something else. The maid who’s usually there all the time wasn’t at the house. The pool wasn’t clean, either, and you know how crazy Mama acts about that damn pool. She’s also clearly depressed. Bags under her eyes. She didn’t have her makeup on, and not a wig was in sight. That damn dog wasn’t on her lap, and now…” She looked at Viper, who stood close by with his big ass, muscular arms crossed. She wanted to run into them for shelter but stayed put. “And now, she gave me a fake ass tennis bracelet, tryna pass it off as real! She’s clearly concerned about her cashflow but wants to keep up appearances.”
“How do you know it’s fake?”
“Girl, my boyfriend knows a fake diamond from a million miles away! She is cold busted!”
“Oh my God! She gave me one, too. Is there a way we can find out if he’s gone for sure since Mama clearly won’t tell us the truth?”
“Yes. I need you to call Michael but make him promise not to tell Mama that we suspect anything. Call him and ask if he can ask his friend down there at the courthouse if he can check if there’ve been any filings for a separation or divorce.”
“Okay, yes! Yes, I will.”
“All right, then after you speak with him, call me back.”
“Okay.”
Majesty ended the call, her chest heaving. Her emotions were all over the place, feeling both anger and sympathy for her mother. Then, she spotted Troy again. His head popped up like some groundhog’s and disappeared again, out of sight.
“Troy! That’s the fourth time I’ve caught you spying on me. What are you doing?”
Troy got up, with Sarge on his heels, and came to stand beside Viper. The man took his hand.
What’s going on here?
“While you wait to hear back from Allison, can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Yeah sure, honey,” She took a deep breath and rubbed her head. I can’t wait to take a hot shower and get my ass in the bed…
“This isn’t how I planned this.”
“Planned what?” She shifted her gaze between the two of them.
“I asked your son, last week, if I could ask you to marry me.”
Troy’s head dropped, all shy like, but she could see he was smiling.
“This can’t be real!” She pointed at her child, truly shocked. Troy can’t keep a secret to save his life.
“It’s true, Mama. It was that day he took me out for ice cream. He lied and said it was because of my good grades on my report card.” The little boy chuckled. Heat spread from her body to her face. She gripped the edge of the counter to steady herself. Viper pulled out a gold box from his pocket.
“Viper…” She could hardly get his name to roll off her tongue.
He opened the box and showed her a diamond so big and bright, it was practically blinding.
“Look at that, Mama! That’s real! That’s a real diamond, not a fake one!” Troy pointed at the ring as if he were some jewelry expert with a keen eye. “And Viper said he wouldn’t have to get me no dog, ’cause all his dogs would be my dogs, too, if you say yes. He said, if you want, we can all move into his house and there would be room for all of us! He said he wants to spend his whole life with you. I said he could.”
They all burst out laughing.
“Well, thank you, Troy, for giving me away without my permission!” She chortled.
“Come here.” Viper took her hand, then dropped down on one knee. “I wasn’t expecting you to have a blow out with your mother today, so things got kinda screwed up, but since I’m here, and Troy knew I was going to ask today, I won’t let him down. I want to know if you’ll marry me, baby? ¿te casarías conmigo mi amor?”
She bent down to Viper’s level, close to the cool ground where the snake lay and waited. Then, she placed her hands along his face and kissed him. Like the frog in the princess stories, she imagined that from her love, he’d change… But in truth, she didn’t want that at all. Like Marie had said, ‘Accept him as he is…’ Viper was what he was, and she didn’t care who didn’t like it. Love was love, and if the man on bended knee before her was good for her and her child, nobody else mattered. Amor dey Rey…
“Troy approves. I approve. Yes, I will marry you, baby.”
Viper grabbed her and kissed her hard as Troy cheered and Sarge pranced around, barking every now and again from all the ruckus. After sliding the gorgeous ring on her finger, Viper stood up. He kissed her again with such passion, her soul left her body. Then, he seized Troy and picked him up, swinging him high in the air, making the kid giggle and scream. After things settled, and her son went back to playing with Sarge in the living room, she poured those forgotten glasses of wine.
“Viper… I’m so happy. Y’all got me!” She took a sip. “I had no idea! Troy is so bad with keeping secrets that he has amazed me with this one.”
Viper curved his lips faintly. “I know that you and your mother’s relationship isn’t exactly the best.”
“That’s an understatement, but yes.” She shrugged.
“You know my mother and I bump heads sometimes, too, but she and I actually get along really well, so I am not actually familiar with what you’re going through. But despite all that has happened between you two, I am sure you love her very much.”
“I do…”
“And I know you want her to be proud of you, although you pretend you don’t ca
re about her opinion.”
Majesty couldn’t look him in the eye. She gripped the side of the kitchen island and nodded, trying to catch her breath… trying to process the deception and sadness of it all. It wasn’t the bracelet being fake that upset her, but what her gesture represented—basically how fake Mama had been all her life. It was reprehensible. Painful. Tragic.
“I know I’m probably not the type of man your mother would want you with, but I was hoping to meet her soon.” She looked up at him. “I’m Cuban American, obviously, but my culture is important to me. It’s not exactly like American culture.” She nodded in understanding. “Where I come from, Majesty, mothers are revered. It’s important to try and… what’s the word? Protect them. To try to fix what’s broken if we can. If it can’t be resolved, then there’s nothing you can do. But in our case, you, me, and Troy are family now. We were family before I proposed. Even if you’d turned my marriage proposal down, as far as I’m concerned, that’s still my son.” He pointed towards the living room where Troy was rubbing Sarge’s belly and watching television. “I fell in love with you fast. And that’s not my style, Majesty. I had no control over it though. It just happened, and I’m not sorry about it. I’m grateful.”
She swallowed and sniffed, wiping away quiet tears.
“If your mother doesn’t accept me, so what? Won’t be the first time someone has judged me without knowing me, but I still want to meet her. I think, from what you’ve told me, she really does love you, and she does want you to be happy. She’s just… broken.”
“She is…” Majesty grabbed a tissue to dab at her nose. “Viper, my mother, has been awful at times. I don’t care if she meets you or not, quite honestly. All she is going to do is talk down to you, try to belittle you, but knowing you, you’ll get into a heated argument with her because I know you well, and culture or not, you won’t take her mess, and it’ll be a disaster.”
He mulled her words.
“Okay.” He held up his hands. “Just listen to me. Hear me out. I’m not tryna compare her to my dogs, okay? You know, nothing disrespectful like that, but people like her remind me of them. The hard cases. The ones people gave up on. The dogs people want to put down. I know how to work with broken animals… because I’m broken, too. The only difference is, I know who and what I am, and I’m okay with it. Your mother, on the other hand, is uncomfortable with being broken. That’s why she wraps herself in lies and make-believe, hopeful that no one will see her fractures and cracks. She gives you the hardest time of all because you’re her mirror; not the fun house mirror, but the real one with the 3X zoom. She fights with you the most because you’re braver than she is, and you see her flaws… all of them. That’s what mirrors do. Reflect the truth. You live your truth while she hides from it. Of course, she has problems with you, baby. She named you Majesty because for a moment at least, she saw you were royalty, possessing the best parts of her… But now, you’re her ‘mirror-mirror on the wall.’ And damn you for not lying to her about who’s the fairest of them all…”