Nothing in all of the underwater world could have prepared him for the moment her bare fingers touched his naked shaft. Sensation sizzled down his nerve endings and tightened in his balls. He could have come right then if not for the mantra he chanted to his inner self not to shoot like a school-age boy.
Holding him in her fist, her fingers slid up and down until he involuntarily thrust in her grasp, fucking her fingers the way he wanted to claim her body. His princess stroked him expertly, squeezing and sizing him up with her fingers. His cock was an iron bar, throbbing so hard it hurt.
He wanted to be inside her, needed to be inside her. He pulled at her skirts, hiking them up until they bunched around her waist and those lovely, naked thighs were against the trousers sliding down his legs. Just one thrust, one moment, and she could be his.
It was wrong, so painfully, deliciously wrong. Painful because he knew he needed to stop, delicious whenever her thumb flicked over the tip of his cock and swirled over the satiny skin. He shuddered against her, claiming her mouth again with raw hunger.
As much as he wanted her, as much as he wanted to carry forward, one night with Kailani wasn’t worth potential imprisonment in the Royal Jail for defiling a princess.
Kai wasn’t wearing undergarments. The fight against his conscience and self-preservation raged again, flaring up like gasoline-fed flames. He held her warm cheeks in his hands, knowing if he moved his palm a few inches, his fingers would be delving between her strong thighs. Nothing less than Herculean effort provided the willpower to drag his lips away from her hungry mouth. “We can’t do this.”
Her husky chuckle tickled against his cheek. “Do we need the mer equivalent of a condom or something?” She paused before asking, “Are there condoms here?”
“No. I mean that this can’t happen.” Though it ripped his heart in two, he dropped her dress and hauled up his trousers, concealing himself from her. He stepped away. “I didn’t mean to do that. For it to go so far.”
Her gaze darkened with confusion, a crease deepening between her brows. “I thought…you seemed to be into me.”
Into her? He was all about her, he wanted nothing more than her, just to hold her in his arms for a night and kiss away the frown dragging down the corners of her mouth. He wanted to pledge his life to her as more than a soldier in the Royal Guard.
But she was not meant for him, a mere warrior.
“You’re the princess. This can’t happen between us. You belong to—”
“Don’t you dare start that again. I know how Atlantian law works. I’m not bound to anyone, I don’t belong to anyone! It’s so stupid. I never asked for this.”
“It is stupid,” he agreed in a quiet voice. “But it’s tradition, and this can never happen again, Your Highness. I’m sorry. The law forbids it.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“The law—”
“I understand.” Then Kai opened the door and marched outside, shutting the door behind her.
Kai left everything behind, including the equipment she’d promised to return to Cook. Between the humiliation of Manu’s rejection and the creeping realization that she’d abandoned her best-ever batch of brownies, the night was inarguably a failure.
The taste of him was still on her lips, and she couldn’t stop thinking about holding his shaft in her hand. Just a few seconds longer, and the hottest merman in all of Atlantis would have been hers for at least a night, if not for their antiquated traditions. Instead of scratching an itch, she’d only amped her curiosity higher.
Damn him. Like she would have ever uttered a word to anyone. Didn’t he trust her?
She walked the Royal Plaza for a time, lingering at the park, where passers-by glanced at her but didn’t intrude on her privacy, then eventually wound her way back to the palace.
Amerin greeted her at the door of her suite, bubbling over with anticipation. “Well? How did he like the dinner?”
“He liked it.”
“That tells me absolutely nothing, Kai. Did—” Then she cut herself short, gazing at Kai with compassionate eyes. “It didn’t go well.”
“It went well until the end. I feel like a dumbass. I made a pass at him like you suggested, and everything went to shit.”
“Why?”
“As far as Commander Manu is concerned, I am firmly the property of Cosmas and too far above his station.”
“I was positive he…” Amerin sighed. “He took the gold starfish.”
“Yeah, about that.” Kai said in a quiet voice. “Next time you want to help me with my sex life, Amerin? Don’t. It sucks enough on its own.”
Then she crossed to her room, stripped out of her pretty dress, and crawled into bed to wonder what the hell would happen next.
26
Perseverance
A high-velocity arc of water raced through the air with the force of a firefighter’s hose, striking Kai in the chest and thrusting her back. She stumbled two steps until she reached down deep and found the font of divine strength supposedly imbued in all children of Thalassa. It still hurt. Still stung her skin, feeling like it was peeling it away layer by layer. She gritted her teeth against the force and put up both arms to shield herself, but it battered her, forcing her back, damned near turning her end over end onto her ass.
Kai tumbled onto the shore and received a mouthful of sand. “Fish sticks!”
The onslaught stopped abruptly. Spitting sand, chest still heaving, she pushed up onto her hands and knees to stare at the mer standing opposite her on the sandy shore. Cosmas had brought her to one of many nameless, uncharted islands. A week of the sweltering sun had turned her skin dark brown.
“Kai?” Cosmas finally said.
“I know, I know. That was eelshit.”
“I wouldn’t call it eelshit,” he muttered, though she thought he was far too polite for his own good, considering her poor performance. “Seriously though, Kai. You’re not that awful, but you are distracted. Why are you using your hands when you have a shield? I never said you’re not permitted to use it. The object of this lesson is for you to deflect it, no matter the tool you use.”
“Uh.”
“As I said, you’re distracted. What’s wrong?”
He’d pummeled her into the sand twice already using a funnel of water channeled from the shoreline itself. Kai was supposed to deflect it, but Cosmas did not take pity upon her. That was a point in his favor, reminding her of Manu. Manu, who hadn’t been alone with her since that train wreck of a dinner.
A bundle of Kai’s belongings from Galveston—packed lovingly by Sadie, to include many of her favorite books, outfits, and even a scrapbook—had arrived the following morning, delivered by a young Myrmidon. Apparently, Manu couldn’t bear to see her alone, or in person. After that, lessons with him took on a painfully professional tone. He didn’t appear unless Cosmas was present, and had she not seen the two of them joking one afternoon while awaiting her arrival, she would have thought Manu spilled the beans and his pal held it against him. He didn’t. As far as she could tell, Cosmas didn’t have a clue about what took place, and maybe it was for the best, despite Amerin swearing up and down no such thing as cheating occurred until there was a bond or marriage in place.
In their society, tradition expected young mers to explore their options. It made her wonder how they could be so progressive in some areas, while horribly behind in others.
The dates with Cosmas went on, as did their magic lessons; her combat training with Manu tapering off until she saw him twice a week. Other commanders filled the gap. She’d trained using martial weapons with Loto and learned emergency medicine from Elpis.
“Nothing is wrong.”
He cocked a brow then crossed his muscular arms over his chest. He wore metal-reinforced shell armor and the usual leggings, a dazzling blue-green from some mystical beast imported from the Pacific deep. “You’re an awful liar. I want you to know that. You have this thing you do where you cut your eyes away for a few secon
ds. Makes it very obvious.”
“I don’t.” Except Sunshine had always known when she was fibbing as a child because…dammit. He’d caught on quickly.
“All right. I can’t make you speak with me, but I am here if you need me. Are you ready to resume?”
“Ready.”
Their training picked up again, though this time she whirled to the side and ducked beneath the immense spray, rolling her shield from her back onto her arm. Water crashed against the glossy construct of metal and tortoiseshell, creating a high-pressure jet.
Cosmas put more magic into it. Harder, forcing her to lean her body against it and change her center of balance, booted feet sliding on sand and barely able to find purchase.
“Don’t give up!” he called.
She envied him for even being able to speak while channeling so much magic.
Her hamstrings and calves cried out for respite before she made it halfway to him, crossing the most arduous twenty meters of her life. Her arm shook.
In Atlantis, when she’d put out the fire in the Coral Spire, she’d pulled the moisture from the air, condensing it into a single hard stream. The water channeled by Cosmas resisted her efforts to take control of it, too slippery for her thoughts to command.
“You’re almost here, Kai. Come on! There are merchildren able to withstand this! Or maybe we should give up and let Aegaeon keep the thro—”
Like Manu, he knew how to make it sting. Determination pressed her forward and she threw her weight into it, leading with the shield to deflect the oncoming stream of water to the ocean. In the split-second that followed, she bashed the curved face of the shield into her tutor’s chest, driving him back onto his ass. Light exploded from the point of contact, flashing over the island and sending energy rippling over the waves, blowing her hair back from her face.
Kai became aware of two things at that moment. One, the water assault ended, a stream of waves landing with a splash into the greater body of the Atlantic again. Two, Cosmas was sprawled out on the wet sand with an enormous fissure down the center of his armor. He groaned, then went still.
Gods. She’d killed him. She’d killed her teacher.
Kai tossed the shield aside and fell to her knees beside him, touching the deep split in the hard armor. “I’m sorry! Are you all right? Cosmas? Cosmas?” Helplessly, she glanced around for aid. A small squad of cavalrymen had accompanied them as part of her official escort, but they weren’t watching her training, ordered to remain underwater until it was time to leave.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, I thought—”
“I’m fine,” he wheezed. “Moment.”
A few of the Myrmidons emerged from the waves, no doubt wondering what the hell happened.
“Commander?”
Cosmas made a weak gesture with one hand. One man raised a dubious eyebrow but sank into the water again. The second hesitated, then followed suit. The third lingered, no doubt prepared to carry gossip back to his companions.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. That was…godsdamn, that was spectacular.”
“But I hurt you.”
“Yeah, well, I put you up to it.” He crawled to his feet, glanced at his chest, and then flashed her a weak grin. “For my own safety, I’m going to call it for today.”
“What the hell just happened?”
“Your divine gifts are awakening, as Hipponax anticipated. The longer you remain in Atlantis and the more you work with your talents, the more powerful they will become. You’re only five generations removed from Thalassa and Pontus, Kai. The rest of us were made in their image, but we’ll never have the same gift you’ve inherited by blood.”
“Doesn’t it get diluted with each generation? I mean, technically that means I’ll never be as strong as my mother.”
“That isn’t how it works. It’s strange, I know, but supposedly godly powers are indivisible as long as the predecessor passes on their gift. Part of her, and your mother’s power, lives on in you and will always be with you. At least, that’s how the old man says it. That old fart has been around since the time of your grandmother. You may be overdue for a meeting with him.”
Kai blinked. “That makes him hundreds of years old, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.” Cosmas touched his chest, wincing. “Let’s return to the city. Dinner?”
“My treat at the palace?”
“Sure.”
Cosmas arrived late to their dinner, smiling sheepishly at her when he approached the small table for two. “Apologies, Kai.”
“No need to apologize. Are you okay?”
“You cracked a rib.”
Guilt sank her good mood like the Titanic. “Gods. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay.” He held up a hand. “We’ve spent three months coaxing these gifts out of you. I’m not going to accept apologies from you when we finally succeeded at getting what we want. Rage seems to be your thing. You don’t like being told what you can’t do.”
“Never have.”
His crooked grin lifted some of the weight from her heart. “You need to take that feeling and channel it. Put it to good use.”
When the first course of their dinner arrived, the conversation fell away. Kai applied herself to her soup and salad, wondering what other powers lay untapped and undiscovered inside her. It was difficult to believe that three months ago, she’d been a normal woman, unsuccessfully seeking employment in a busy city. She’d had one job prospect, working at Moody Gardens Aquarium. Right now, she should be testing the pH of marine aquarium water or tending to sea horses in a hatchery.
Now she swam with sea horses through pristine ocean water far below the muck polluted by man.
“Did I lose you?”
Kai snapped out of it, blinking at her dinner partner. “No. Sorry. Was thinking of how things had changed.”
“Ah.” He tilted his head, dark hair spilling over one shoulder. He’d exchanged his broken armor for a gold-trimmed red tunic of some sort in the old-fashioned Greek style with a contrasting, royal blue cape thrown over his shoulders. Clothing in Atlantis tended to be modernized versions of the ancient styles, though she’d also seen garments inspired by topside fashion. “Are you feeling better about what troubled you earlier?”
“No.”
He didn’t press her. Another course came out, urchin sashimi and bubbly sea grass. She picked at her food and sighed.
“I think Manu is upset with me. You’re a great trainer, but…”
The consternation on his face softened. “You miss his company. Ah, Kai, why didn’t you say so?”
“I thought…” She glanced down at her plate, feeling childish and silly. Men on the surface—at least the ones in her romantic acquaintance—didn’t compare to the males in Atlantis. “I didn’t want to upset you by pining for another guy.”
He barked out a laugh, then winced and held his chest. “No, love. Manu is your friend. Hell, he’s my friend, too. I noticed he’s been distant lately, but I imagined it had something to do with personal matters.”
“Personal matters?”
“Not my business to discuss,” he said quickly. “If he wants to mention it to you, he will.”
“How can he, when he avoids me?”
“He isn’t avoiding you.”
“He was supposed to be topside with us today but he never showed.”
Dark brows jumped up. “Far from it. He’s occupied with some other matters. General Lago tasked him with investigating a recent Gloombeast sighting to the southwest. He’s leading a fireteam that way. We tend to send the artillery units in their coral skippers and whale thumpers to investigate those matters. They’re faster, and they’re protected from the corruption when they’re in gliders. Don’t need filtration masks to avoid breathing in poisonous octopus ink.”
“Oh. I have another question. You’re both commanders, but you’re always out leading squads instead of delegating the task to your captains or lieutena
nts. Why?”
“Manu likes to take a hands-on approach to our duties.” Cosmas shrugged. “I suppose I picked up the habit from him. Most of us do. Besides, one must lead by example. We command numerous patrol squads in this ocean at any given time, and also oversee additional training to the dozens of ports across the Atlantic.”
“It sounds like you overwork yourselves.”
“What else are we to do with our free time?”
Feeling silly, she stuffed a piece of tender urchin into her mouth. “Never mind me, then.”
Before she could finish her bite, Cosmas reached over the table and took her hand, gazing at her with compassion-filled eyes. “Back to the original topic at hand: I’m not the sort to become jealous over a friendship, Kai. Nor are most men of Atlantis. You’re a free woman until you’re bound by an engagement. Remember that.”
“I know. Amerin reminded me.”
“However…” He reached into the pouch hanging from his belt, and she knew without a doubt before he came up with the clam shell that she wouldn’t like what happened next.
Cosmas left his seat, and he knelt beside the table.
There wasn’t a servant left in the room. She didn’t notice when they all slipped out, but the spacious chamber suddenly felt tiny, suffocating.
“I don’t need to court you longer than I already have to know I couldn’t be happier as your husband and king, Kai. Will you do me the honor?”
What else could she do but say yes when the entire kingdom counted on her?
27
To the End
The fields…
Kai jerked awake for the fifth time that night. Despite the comfort of her bed, she’d spent most of the night staring at the ceiling with a dozen thoughts fighting for dominance in her brain.
Could she become the queen they needed?
What would it be like to marry Cosmas, a man she didn’t love or feel even a hint of attraction for? They hadn’t so much as kissed, and she felt no pressing urgency to try it.
Return to Atlantis: a Fantasy Romance (Kingdom in the Sea Book 1) Page 19