by Croft, Rose
No decision. Without thinking, I busted into the door and saw the joker who I assumed was Tito, alone, ducked down to my right below the window. I aimed and fired, but jolted at the pain in my side. He shot me. However, I heard his grunt and saw blood pooling through the fabric of his white tee.
“Emilio!” Sofí screamed.
I was hit but knew I fired a fatal blow too. Tito had taken one to the chest. But in true fashion, evil didn’t go down quickly. Adrenaline fueled me as I watched him gasp jerkily and clumsily reached around him for his weapon that he’d dropped from the impact. He even forced a sick smile on his scarred face making him look like the Joker.
“Sofí… was… mine…” he croaked, and his fingers crept over the handle of his gun. Before he could grasp it, I ruthlessly stepped on his hand crushing his fingers beneath my shoe.
I glanced over at my girl who raised her head cautiously over the edge of the bed with Eric securely in her arms. “You okay, angelita?”
“Yes.” Her voice was shaky, and Eric was crying silently against her shoulder. I wanted to run over and comfort them, but I wouldn’t give this fucker the opportunity to try and escape.
“Is there anyone else inside?” I called out calmly to her.
“No.” Sofí gasped, “You’ve been shot.”
I glanced down at my side where the bullet grazed me. “I’m all right.”
Vince stepped in and scanned the room, and I said softly, “Sofí? Can you walk to Vince and let him take you outside?” I nodded to my brother as I watched Sofía whose face was bruised and cut walk calmly to my brother. Vince quickly led them out, while I fought another round of unending rage for this fucker beneath me.
When Sofí and Eric were out of the apartment, I let my wrath out. “Sofí was never yours, you sick piece of shit.” I could’ve fired another shot and put this fool out of his misery, but I wasn’t that forgiving. Instead, I dropped down to my knees beside him and ruthlessly pressed my palm over his wound wanting to crush in his chest. “Sofí is her own person. A beautiful angel who deserved everything in life.” I leaned in knowing he was gasping for his last breaths of air. “When you make your ascent to hell, I hope you remember to bring lube you fucking pussy.”
Sofía
I once read the quote, “Dreams come true if you survive the hard times.” In my case truer words had never been spoken. My memories were always peppered with good and bad. But lately, the good memories outweighed the nightmares. My hard times had apparently prepared me for my dreams. And make no mistake… I was living out my dreams.
When Tito had kidnapped us, I knew my hopes and dreams were circling the drain of desolation and death. The nightmares were still there, but I did my best to not dwell on it. It’d been over a month since that fateful day. Life was too short to let nightmares run around rent-free in my head. I had dreams to cherish and remember.
“Are you sure Santa likes chocolate chip cookies?” Eric peered up at me skeptically as I took the cookies out of the oven. I glanced at Emilio who leaned over the counter near us and grinned. Eric told us he wanted to leave milk and cookies for Santa.
“Of course, who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies?”
Eric nodded. “Yeah, I do too.”
I laid the pan down. “See. Everyone does.”
“Don’t forget the glass of milk,” Eric said and reached out to grab a cookie and I clenched his wrist. “Not yet, baby, too hot.”
“I think Santa would prefer a glass of Modelo.” Emilio winked and took a pull from his beer.
“Santa can’t drink and drive his sleigh.” I stepped over and nudged Emilio. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed me.
“Are you two gonna get married or what?” Eric tilted his head.
“You sound like your Tío Vince.” Emilio grinned and leaned down, whispering something in Eric’s ear.
Eric’s eyes lit up and he took off into the living room, pulling a present from under the tree. He came back with a flat rectangular package. “Open it, Mamá.” He rubbed his hands together and glanced at his father with a sly look on his face.
I eyed the two of them with a smile and peeled away the wrapping and saw a handmade book on card stock with the title My Mommy’s Hand. The illustration on the cover was clearly done by a child, and Eric’s name as the author.
“Oh my gosh, Eric, your book.” I was so proud of him and knew he’d spent so much time on it because Mrs. Rojas and I worked on this project for over two weeks, helping all the students make a book to give to their parents for Christmas. However, Eric would never let me see what he wrote. He wanted it to be a surprise. I’d promised I wouldn’t read it although curiosity killed me the whole time.
“Read it,” he urged, and I smiled excitedly tracing his name on the cover with my finger.
I turned the page and cleared my throat. “One day, a little boy named Eric started school. He was scared.” I saw the perfect handwriting of Mrs. Rojas who wrote what Eric said. My heart melted at the picture he drew. Eric didn’t do stick figures. He drew bodies with shapes. The rectangular shapes for the body, arms and legs with cloud-like hands and a circle for the head. The little boy had wide eyes with spiked hair (like all the pictures he drew) and a half-circle turned upside down. Eric labeled the pictures in his handwriting.
I scanned the following page. “Papá said, ‘Don’t be scared.’ So he wasn’t.” Such simple words that gripped my heart.
I flipped the next page. “Eric saw the other kid’s mommies at school and wondered why he didn’t have a mommy.” My hand curled around his head as I read and had to keep myself from crying.
“He prayed one night asking for a mommy.” There was a picture of him kneeling beside his bed.
I turned the page trying to keep my voice from breaking. “Then, Sofí told me she was my mommy.” I sniffled as I saw the picture of me sitting next to him as he kissed my hand. I took my time studying the picture, memorizing every detail.
“I was so happy.” It said on the next page, and there was a picture of Eric’s shape figure smiling with me with a rainbow in the background. I leaned over and kissed Eric on the head. “I love you so much, baby.”
Emilio’s hand wrapped around mine, and he tugged at the book. “Let me read the ending.” I tilted my head, puzzled while he smirked.
He shifted and cleared his throat as he studied the page. “One day, Eric asked his father if he was going to marry Sofí. And daddy said, ‘Yes.’”
My jaw dropped while he held the book and watched me intently. “Sofí…” He closed the book, setting it on the counter and held out his hand to Eric who had a small box clasped between his palms passing it to his father. Emilio slowly lowered himself down on one knee and flicked open the top. “Will you marry me?”
I dropped down beside my warrior, the father of our child, my eternal love. “You had my heart when I saw you that first night,” I whispered and threw my arms around him.
“And you had my heart before that.” Emilio clenched me against him. “I love you, Sofía. Always have.” His lips devoured mine, and we were kissing passionately as though we were in the bedroom. Dancing around keep-this-shit-private territory.
“Wow. You guys want to back the fuck off before you traumatize your son and us?” Yovani said as he stood beside us with Oscar at his side. My brother had his arms crossed with brows V’d down. He never spoke much being more of an introvert, but his silent look leveled at Emilio spoke volumes saying both “Are you kidding me?” and “I will kick your ass if you hurt her.”
Emilio and I pulled apart. I touched my heated cheeks that were flush from both overwhelming exhilaration and embarrassment.
“Tío said…”
“We know, Eric,” Emilio and I both said automatically. Emilio leveled his brother with a scowl. “I just proposed. Thanks for ruining the moment, dumbass.”
“Sorry, bro.” Yovani raised his hands in defense. “I take it she said yes.”
“Good observation,” Emilio
stated dryly.
“It’s about time.” Yovani smiled and slapped Oscar on the back. “Guess we’re bro’s now.”
Oscar shifted awkwardly… but wait. Was my brother smiling? It’d been too long since I’d seen genuine happiness in his expression. He stepped closer. “I guess we have our family. Right Sofí?”
I nodded with tears in my eyes knowing Oscar and I had finally found our home. “Yes. The best family you could ever wish for.”
“Try the ring on, Mamá.” Eric had it in his hand, and I watched as Emilio and our son slid it on together. The square-cut diamond set in a platinum band winked at me. Striking. Stunning. But Emilio and Eric shined brighter than any jewel in the world.
“It’s beautiful.” I gathered both my loves in my arms. “This is the best day of my life.”
Later that night, Emilio and I were alone for once in the living room watching A Christmas Story laughing our heads off at the kid Flick whose tongue was stuck to the flagpole. As my laughter died, a thought occurred, and I jumped up and ran over to the kitchen table to reread Eric’s book.
“What are you doing?” Emilio twisted his head with eyebrows raised.
“Did you really write that last page or did you make it up?” I thumbed through the book.
“Hell yeah I wrote it, Sofí.”
I gasped in pleasant surprise when I saw the final page. “Oh my gosh, Emilio, you’re a freaking artist. It’s beautiful.” He’d perfectly sketched the three of us at an amusement park.
“I’m a man of many talents. You should know this by now.”
Emilio—One Year Later
“You sure as hell don’t waste time increasing the Mendoza population,” Vince said and clamped a hand over my neck shaking in a playful way. I could decipher his words and knew he was happy for me.
“What can I say? Sofí and I want a large family.” We’d been married for six months and found out she was pregnant a few months later. We waited until today to tell everyone. It was Christmas Day and everyone was gathered at Vince’s home.
Eric was five and growing every day. He’d started playing on a soccer team and was kicking ass. I should be modest, but fuck that. My son was very good. Soon, I knew I’d start having coaches from select club teams keeping their eyes on him. But, right now, I enjoyed watching him play recreational soccer.
Sofía had finished her second semester of school and now had one more year until she graduated. She interned at a school full time and although working and going to school consumed her time; she was happy. If my baby was happy then I was happy. More than anyone, she deserved the good things in life.
Adrian, the fixer, somehow convinced Oscar to get his life in order and hooked him up with a mentor program to help wayward kids who’d been involved in gangs get their lives together. At least, Sofía had one family member around. Now, we had not only Yovani living with us, but Oscar, too. Sometimes, Sofí complained there was too much testosterone in our house and hoped she had a girl this time. Actually, we didn’t care. We just wanted our child to be healthy.
“What the fuck are they doing?” Vince pointed his bottle in the direction of the spacious living room where Yovani took off his shoes and laid each one down several feet apart and Eric stood in front of him with the new soccer ball he’d received for Christmas under his toe. Yovani signaled for Eric to move back directing him like he was guiding a car out of a garage.
“Looks like they’re about to practice penalty kicks.” I knew I should’ve said something because Eric could kick the hell out of the ball, but I wanted to let my brother handle this. He’d obviously forgotten what it was like to have boys in the house since it was just Dani and Teresa. I couldn’t tell you all the crazy shit all of us did as kids. Well, I could, but I’ll keep it to myself.
“Aww, hell naw,” he grumbled. “Eric!” he called out too late. Eric shot the ball, but Yovani caught it. Vince strode over and laid into our younger brother. The words “dumbass” and “grow the fuck up” were thrown out.
Tío and Tía were both in the living room sitting on the couch and yelled at Vince for cussing. Yovani smirked at his brother in his usual give-zero-fucks-self. I ducked my head, chuckling to myself. Never a dull moment with my family.
“What did Eric do?” Sofí touched my arm with an apprehensive look. She was one step away from being the helicopter mom with our son. I thought I was protective of Eric, but she took it to another level.
I tweaked her nose. “Nothing out of the ordinary. He and his uncle thought it would be a good idea to play soccer in the house.”
“Oh.” She nodded as though that wasn’t unusual. Eric and Yovani were always doing something foolish in ours—from wrestling, soccer, tag—you name it and now with Oscar there, it was like we had three little boys to watch over.
“I’m hungry.” Eric trotted up with ball in hand.
“Shocker,” I teased. We’d already opened gifts and had Christmas dinner, but my son was still hungry. He was like a cow that grazed all day. Thank God he was active.
“Come on, mi hijo. I’ll make you a plate.” Sofí took him in under her motherly wing and led him to the kitchen. I stared with a goofy-ass smile on my face knowing I’d never been happier in my life. There were a few things I knew:
Life could be hard.
Life could be brutal.
Life could be unforgiving.
But at the end of the day, life could be wonderful if you fought for what was important. And I did. I never was a quitter.
The End
This book was truly a labor of love. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into Emilio and Sofí’s story. They will always hold a special place in my heart as well as the rest of the Mendozas and now Oscar. Thank you for taking this journey with me and I hope you enjoyed it. Here is the music that inspired me.
“Let It Die” by Foo Fighters
“Weekend” by Mac Miller (feat. Miguel)
“Marching the Hate Machines” by Thievery Corporation (feat. The Flaming Lips)
“Self Care” by Mac Miller
“LOYALTY” by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Rihanna)
“Doin’ Time” by Sublime
“Hand on the Pump” by Cypress Hill
“Little Black Submarines” by The Black Keys
“Duel of the Iron Mic” by GZA (feat. Masta Killa, Dreddy Kruger, Inspectah Deck & Ol’ Dirty Bastard)
“Caress Me Down” by Sublime
“IFHY” by Tyler, The Creator (feat. Pharrell)
“I Only Have Eyes for You” by The Flamingos
“Tracionera” (Remix) by Sebastian Yatra, Cosculluela & Cali y El Dandee
“Escandalo” by Marc Anthony
“Cinderella” by Mac Miller (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)
“Pony” by Ginuwine
“Yo x Ti, Tu x Mi” by ROSALÍA & Ozuna
“Paradise” by Coldplay
If you liked Primitivo, check out where this story began… here’s an excerpt from Cabezón (The Mendoza Family, #1)…
Vicente Gabriel García Mendoza—El Salvador, Age 6
“Eres un regalo de Díos como tus hermanos y tu hermana, mi amor.” A gift from God. That’s what Vicente’s mami always said to the inquisitive six-year-old who wondered why he didn’t have a papá like his cousins, Adrian and Eduardo.
Vicente had always accepted that answer with a sort of reverence because if anything, his mother was the most devout Catholic he knew. Mami always said if you didn’t have faith in God, then you’re living a life without purpose. They went to mass whenever the doors were open. Each time she had told him about his spiritual birth, it made him feel special, like the angel Gabriel, who he was named after, personally delivered him down to Earth from heaven.
However, lately, his cousin, Adrian who was two years older than Vicente had been questioning Vicente about why he didn’t have a father. Vicente always answered vehemently that he was a gift from God, with so much conviction as though he thought his mother was as pure as la Virgen María. But,
Vicente was starting to wonder whether his conception was really so immaculate.
Regardless, Mami was the hardest worker he knew, she worked from sun up to sun down selling fruits and vegetables on the streets of San Salvador. Sometimes she worked through the night, but the following morning after being gone, she always made sure she spent time with her four children—Vicente, age six, fraternal twins Emilio and Lilyana, ages five and Yovani, age three. Usually, they would have an elaborate breakfast, go shopping, and sometimes would take the bus to La Libertad the nearest beach from the city.
Vicente loved going to the beach; he was enchanted by the beautiful blue ocean, swimming, watching the surfers catch a wave, and especially getting a minuta (shaved flavored ice) from los minuteros, (vendors), that pushed their carts up and down the beach ringing las campanitas. To a child, the sound of tinkling bells was everything, and you came running when you heard it.
He reveled in the tropical smell, the peacefulness, and the togetherness he had with his family. But, most of all, he was drawn to the water, and Mami was the one who taught them all how to swim.
One day, Adrian’s father, announced he was taking his family to the United States because he had a friend who’d written him saying he was making good money—enough to support his wife and kids and give them a better education. Tío Hector wanted that for his family, too. He always bragged about how his sons would do great things in the future.
Everyone already knew Adrian was the “bright” one among the kids. When the boys played together, he was always the one who came up with elaborate ideas, a dreamer, while Vicente, although younger was more of a leader—putting the plan into action and Vicente’s brother Emilio, was the reckless one who was always impulsive and ready to do what anyone dared. The three of them were inseparable.