by Emily N. Kay
I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I say, “What I do––it’s my business. Why do you have to concern yourself with me?”
“Because I am worried for you!” He raises his voice. “I see you, and I can’t help but wonder how this beautiful, young girl would resort to something like this…”
Something tugs at my heart. “Like what…?”
“Letting men touch you… And for what? Money?” He pauses, looking at me straight in the eye. “I just wish that I could talk some sense into you.”
I let out a snort. “What you just said––it’s all bullshit and you know it.”
“Excuse me?” He raises his brow.
I glare at him, my face heated with rage. “Say whatever you want, say you’re concerned, but I know.” I pause. “You want me. Just like any other men out there. Only you don’t want to admit it. You’re jealous of my clients because they get to do whatever they want with me, without consequences. They can put their hands, their lips, their whatever on my body. Wherever they like. And that makes you angry. Because you’ll never get to do that with me. Because you are my teacher!” As soon as the words were out, I know I’ve crossed the line. But it’s too late to take them back now.
I thought that he’d at least get angry, and maybe yell back at me. But Nick just looks at me, his eyes narrowed as if he’s trying to find a piece of the puzzle.
After catching up on breathing, I add, “Why else would you go through all the trouble? Why else would you pay a shit ton of money just for me?”
We’re silent for what feels like an hour.
Nick stays quiet, silently observing me, his face impossible to read.
“What if I refuse,” I say defiantly.
His jaw twitches. “Then I’m gonna have to get a hold of your mother. And trust me, you don’t want that.”
I blink. “You can’t do that. You will get in trouble too.”
“Not really. I’m just a regular guy, hiring an escort who turned out to be one of his students. But you––you are still a student, and you are your mother’s daughter. What would your mother think of her only daughter when she finds out?”
My back stiffens as I’m realizing what he’s doing to me. He’s straight-up blackmailing me…
I grit my teeth. “That’s very smart of you, Nick. Blackmailing a high school girl? I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
He lets out a tired sigh. “You can think whatever you want of me, but I’m telling you that I’m only here to help you.”
I consider him for a moment before I say, “Fine.”
“Fine?” A surprise look crosses his face.
“You can be my regular client if that’s what you want.”
Nick narrows his eyes, suspicious.
“But first you have to admit something…”
“Admit what?”
“That you want me to do this.” In this moment of pure rage, I lean over, grab the back of his neck, and crash my lips to his.
Nick tenses under my hold. He grabs my shoulders, and I swear… I fucking swear it’s as if he’s kissing me back. Just a little. And only for a short moment. But he still kisses me back. And I know––that it takes all his effort to pull me away.
Nick stares at me with his eyes wild. He opens his mouth, but no words come out.
“That’s what I thought.” Without saying another word, I walk out of his car and into my apartment building.
Oh Lord… Why did I do that? No matter how angry I was I shouldn’t have done that… He is my fucking teacher…
I can only hope he doesn’t report to Vixens that his escort just left him mid-session, and that his escort kissed him without consent. Is there even such a thing?
Oh my God. I’m freaking the fuck out. I just kissed my teacher. What the fuck did I just do!
But then… why should I feel bad for it? He is the one blackmailing me. He is the one who should be sorry.
I did nothing wrong. I only kissed him only because he deserves it. Well… not that he deserves my kiss. But he did ask for it, right?
He wants an escort, and he’s willing to pay for one. It’s only fair that I give him what he wants.
Chapter 12
“Alice, will you come with us to the Park?” Zoe asks. Leo is nodding beside her in encouragement.
We’re eating our lunch. And it just occurs to me that the two of them have been talking about going to picnic at Central Park for the past fifteen minutes, and that my mind was elsewhere this whole time.
“Alice!” Leo claps his hands over my face.
I blink and sigh. “Why don’t you two go without me. I’m always the ultimate third wheel. I don’t want to be that on your anniversary.”
Zoe sticks out her lip. “You are part of us too! Right, babe?” She nudges Leo.
“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Leo shrugs. He always goes along with whatever Zoe suggests, but I can’t help but suspect if he wants to spend time alone with her for their special day.
“Stop feeling sorry for me,” I say. “Just go be a normal couple. Without me for once.”
“Oh my God!” Zoe suddenly exclaims. “I just have the best idea. Why don’t you ask Jacob to come with us? We’ll have a double date! Argh, that’d be so cute,” she squeals.
“Yeah, why not? That’ll be fun.” As expected, Leo goes along with her.
“Ugh, you two need to stop setting me up with him! With anyone, really.”
Zoe always tries to set me up any chance she gets. She said that I’m wasting my potential by being an escort. Needless to say, Leo agrees and happily joins her on the quest of finding me a boyfriend.
“But Jacob is so nice. And he adores you. Just give him a chance, please,” Zoe pleads.
Leo then adds to the nonsense, “Yeah, I can totally see you with him.” He squints his eyes at me and nods.
I let out a laugh. “Jacob and I? We’re couldn’t be more different. You’re just saying that because Zoe says so.” I shoot Leo an annoyed look.
Leo is about to say something in defense when Zoe says, “That’s why it’s a good match. You guys balance each other out.”
I hold a hand up. “I understand you guys mean well. But I don’t want to get his hopes up––because nothing will ever happen between us.”
Zoe groans. “I hate when you do this blocking-everyone-out thing. That’s why you never have a boyfriend. You shut everyone out before they even get to know you. Like that time with Carter!”
“Oh, yeah, Carter.” Leo bites into his tuna sandwich. “He never shuts up about you by the way––always asking me to bring you to practice,” Leo says with his mouth full.
“Really,” I say mindlessly, playing with the straw in my water bottle.
Carter Malone is the captain from Leo’s basketball team. He tried to get me to go out with him multiple times last year, but I turned him down. Every single time. And I think I made the right decision. Carter is known to be such a player, just like Leo before Zoe.
“The only reason he wants me is because he thinks I’m playing hard to get. Guys love chasing after someone who isn’t interested in them.” I shake my head wearily.
“No, Alice. He wants you because you’re hot!” Zoe objects. “And I don’t know why you don’t want him. Any girl would die to date him. Sorry, babe.” She turns to smile at Leo.
“I’d date Carter,” he jokes with a grin. Then he turns to give Zoe a high-five.
I look at them in disbelief. This is hopeless… “And then what? I agreed to go out with him. And after one date, he’s going to try to hook up with me. Then the whole school will know about it. Then I’d be no use to him anymore. It would be like… his goal is reached, and there’d be no purpose of dating me anymore.”
They both look at me like I’m crazy.
“You think too damn much, Alice,” says Zoe.
“You do,” Leo agrees. “I mean, I get that you’re scared to let anyone in. But don’t you think it’s time to give it a try? Jacob is a good guy.
And you deserve a good guy.”
“But I’m not attracted to him like that…” I counter.
“You aren’t attracted to anyone, Alice,” Zoe snaps. “You can’t expect yourself to like someone from the first time you see them. You need to at least give them a chance first. Otherwise I wouldn’t be dating him right now.” She points at Leo. He grins.
“I…” I can come up with nothing to defend myself.
“Who’s your last boy crush, huh? Just name one,” she challenges. “Other than Zac Effron, I mean.”
Leo chokes on his sandwich.
I give them both a scowl. “Well, to be fair, I keep these things to myself. You wouldn’t know anything about my crushes because I choose not to tell you.”
Zoe looks overly hurt by this. She gasps. “You can’t say that to your best friend.”
I stick out a tongue at her.
But that’s the truth… When I find someone that I’m attracted to, I keep it to myself. I don’t want to announce it to anyone––especially my best friend––because she will surely try her hardest to make something happen. And I don’t want anything to happen.
I used to think Carter is cute. I’m a girl, so of course I notice that he does have the look––gorgeous smile, and a shining confidence that every girl fancies.
There was this moment when I’d take a peek at Carter in Chemistry when he’s not looking, and when he noticed me and shoot me a smile, I’d blushed and fantasized about it the whole day. That feeling––is what I live for.
But when he started to make a move on me, I felt strangely uncomfortable. All I could think was how I didn’t want to talk to him anymore than I had to, that I only liked the phase where I was the one having a crush on him, and just how the thought of maybe-he-likes-me-back is enough to make me feel good. But I am terrified of the next phase: the getting-to-know-the-real-you phase. Or maybe I’m just afraid of getting dumped…
I know, I have a self-esteem issue. Which is why, the safest thing to do was to shut people out before it’s gotten deep.
Another secret I keep from Zoe is that I used to have a crush on Leo. When he took away my first kiss, I was flustered, and I started looking at him differently. And when Leo and Zoe started dating, it was supposed to make me sad, but instead I felt relieved. Because it meant that I’m safe. And that’s when I realize that I’m the type of person who gets over a crush fairly quickly. A trait that I’ve proudly mastered.
Like that time with Adam Castillo in freshman year. He’s in my choir group, and he’s got the cutest smile ever. The only thing I really remembered was the feeling I got when our finger tips accidentally touched for the first time while we’re standing side by side, singing Joy to the World, but Adam laced his fingers through mine. My heart literally stopped. But when we started talking a lot and he asked me to go to Winter Formal with him, it scared the shit out of me. So I pretended to be sick that day so that I didn’t have to reject him. And after I quitted the choir, I avoided Adam since. And when his family had to move to San Diego, it occurred to me that I was lucky I never had to deal with my feelings for him again.
As I’m starting to list all the guys I’ve been harboring crushes on (and have failed to continue), Zoe nudges me on the shoulder, bringing me back to reality. “Dude, you can literally have anyone. What are you afraid of?”
“Commitment issue?” Leo jokes with a grin.
I roll my eyes at him.
Then I consider what my friends said. And they are right. What am I so afraid of anyway? It’s just a friendly date. Who knows, things might work out for me. I might even find a boyfriend. I might find love…
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Zoe’s eyes widen with surprise. “What, really? You will go?”
“I will,” I say, “but don’t expect anything to happen, okay? I’m talking to you, Zoe.” I pointedly look at her.
She lets out a sound of sheer joy. “Of course! Argh, I’m so proud of you,” Zoe coos, smiling brightly.
Then the two of them continue on planning out this double date.
Chapter 13
Apparently, Nick lives in a studio apartment not too far from the school area. He offered to pick me up, but I insisted on going by myself. I mean, I don’t want to spend any more time with him than I already have to.
His apartment is a tall, gray building. Modern. And it has that minimalistic feel to it. Inside, I find Nick waiting for me in front of the single elevator, where he has to scan a key card to go up.
I greet him with a tight smile. But Nick’s jaw tightens when he sees me. No hello. No nothing.
All the way up, neither of us speaks. And Nick’s piercing stare makes my skin crawl. Why is he looking at me like that? He is not satisfied with me for some reason. What did I do to him?
Oh, right… It must be the kiss…
Fuck. The kiss.
It’s funny how the confidence that I had then is nowhere to be found now.
The silence is so heavy it’s killing me. I press my back against the wall opposite of where Nick is standing. It’s stupid how I’m attempting to avoid him now when I have to be with him for another two freaking hours!
He leads me down the white corridor without a word.
His room is neat and airy. It’s not as small as I thought it would be, judging from how narrow the building looks from the outside. The cement walls give the room a very simplistic vibe. Piles of books stacked on a single shelf floating against the wall. The queen-sized bed is on the other side of the room, opposite the kitchen area. There is a huge abstract painting of red and blue on top of the bed frame. Not much stuff here at all. It’s probably because he just moved here.
“Nice view,” I speak up for the first time, looking out the huge glass window on one wall which faces toward the city view.
Nick glances at me. “Yeah, it’s great,” he says plainly.
I awkwardly stand by the kitchen island, waiting for him to instruct me to do something. Anything.
“So, what would you like me to do?” I ask, tilt my head, and manage to coax a flirty smile at him like a professional escort.
Nick says nothing, his gaze sharp. He walks to grab something from the closet and comes back with a big, gray sweater.
“Put this on.” He throws it at me.
I catch it and look back at him in confusion. “Why?”
“Because I don’t like what you are wearing.”
Looking down at myself in a deep V-neck dress, I get what he means. Too exposed for his liking, I see…
I bite back a grin. “But that’s how I dress when I see my clients. Are you not happy with it?” I say in what I think is a sultry voice. “I think it’s rather sexy.”
Nick’s face hardens, unamused. “Whatever you’re trying to do, Alice, it’s not going to work on me.”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “Then why am I here!” I blurt out, the anger starting to bubble up again. “Do you expect me to just… sit around and do nothing?” I stare at his annoying face. “And I don’t want to talk. Not with you.”
“Put the sweater on,” he demands.
I roll my eyes and wear it hastily. “There. Better?”
“Much better,” he says, more relaxed now that my skin is covered. “Sit.” He nods at the white couch opposite the large LED TV. So I see he likes to spend money on unnecessary things––the car, the TV, and me…
I sink into the couch, arms crossed. I frown at the stupid sweater that’s starting to itch my skin. “If you don’t want to do anything with me, then what am I supposed to do?”
He lowers himself next to me, still keeping the distance. “You can first explain to me why you did it.”
I glance up at him. “Did what?” I ask blankly.
“Don’t play dumb,” he says wearily.
I give a small grin. “You mean why I kissed you?” I almost choke at the word.
He nods, his throat bobbing. Like he’s disgusted just from thinking about it.
Sam
e, Nick… Same.
Then I say, “Why, I was angry! I still am. You just took over my life. Like it’s nothing. You threatened to blackmail me. That’s such a dick move.”
Nick’s expression doesn’t change, even when I just insulted him.
“I’m sorry, but it’s true,” I add.
“I don’t expect you to understand, Alice,” he says calmly.
I scoff. “Yeah, I don’t think I ever will.”
Nick sighs. “I just have to do something. Even if it means I have to… blackmail you.” He pauses. “If it means that I can protect you from those men who are looking to take advantage of you, then yeah, I’ll gladly do it.”
Heat rushes to my face. I can’t believe this…
“You are such a hypocrite. Those men? You are just like them. Why else would you hire an escort? You’re looking to take advantage of someone too. Don’t act like you’re better, or more righteous than them. You are worse. At least those men know what they want and they are honest about it.” I pause to look at his growing frown. “I take my words back when I said you’re brave for going after what you want.”
If what I said bothers him at all, he doesn’t show it. “You know what? Before you get too carried away, there is something you need to know…” he trails off, his face half-amused.
“What?” I furrow my brow, suddenly becoming unsure of myself.
“I didn’t hire you.”
I freeze. “What do you mean you didn’t hire me? You were there in that hotel room.”
“It’s my friend, Tyler.”
“Your friend?”
“That prick––he’s the one who found out about your agency, and he made a call to your manager to hire an escort––with my name and details. He told me to go wait at the hotel, saying that he and a couple of our friends will be coming over to welcome me, and that they had a surprise for me. It was some kind of a prank. My friend did it as a joke, Alice.”
My face has gone numb. Every part of my body is dead. I am dead. I wish I’m dead…
“Are you saying that you had no idea…”