He looks…furious.
Oh no.
I decide to play it off. Act clueless.
“You’re out late,” I say snidely, adopting my usual little sister role.
“We need to talk,” he says, his teeth clenched, as he stands by the foot of my bed.
Sitting up completely, I tilt my head to the side. “Nice of you to just barge right on in uninvited.”
“I figured you’d tell me to go away if I asked through the door,” he returns.
“You’d be right. I would’ve,” I answer.
We stare each other down. I know he’s trying to intimidate me. Maybe even try to get me to break.
I’m not talking. Heck no.
“Ava,” he finally says when the silence gets too thick.
“Jake,” I say, copying his tone.
“Tell me the truth.” He hesitates. “Are you seeing someone in secret?”
My heart drops. Just swoosh, falls right into my stomach. I blink at him, trying to come up with something to say. I can feel my face turn warm and look down. Pluck at my comforter. “No. Don’t you think you’d know if I was seeing someone?”
“So you’re not…dating anyone.” I study him through my eyelashes to see him rest his hands on his hips, still with the intimidating stare.
“No, I’m not,” I say again.
“Not even someone at say…a different school,” he continues.
I lift my gaze to his, praying I look sincere. “No.”
He remains quiet, which makes me nuts. I hate when he does this kind of thing, and he knows it. He also knows how to push all of my buttons.
It doesn’t matter. I go for it anyway.
“What are you trying to say, huh, Jake? What are you getting at?” I’m poking him so he’ll just spit it out.
“You’re a liar,” he says softly.
Lifting my chin, I glare at him. He must’ve seen Eli’s story. He figured us out. Figured me out. “What are you talking about? If you’re just going to antagonize me all night, you should leave. I need to go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”
“You’re with Eli, aren’t you.” He doesn’t phrase it like a question.
Meaning he knows.
Sighing, I throw my hands up before letting them flop onto my comforter. “You saw his Instagram story.”
“You’re damn right I did. And he dropped enough clues for me to finally figure this shit out,” he says, his voice tight.
“I kept telling him to delete it,” I mutter as I shake my head. “He finally did.”
“You spoke to him. Tonight.”
Pretty sure a small part of my brother hoped it wasn’t true. That I wasn’t with Eli.
Oops.
I hang my head, still plucking at a thread on the comforter. “Yeah.”
“Because you two are together,” Jake says.
Words don’t form. It’s like I can’t speak. What can I say to defend myself? I’m caught.
Busted.
“Do you know what this is going to do to my reputation at school?” he yells.
I put my finger to my lips, hoping he didn’t wake up our parents.
“Everyone at school is going to laugh at me, knowing you were seeing Eli behind my back. Playing me for a fool like that. Jesus, Eli must love this,” he whisper-yells.
My brother is being ridiculous.
“Jake, my relationship with Eli has nothing to do with you,” I start, but Jake interrupts me with hysterical laughter, the jerk. He keeps laughing for so long, I cross my arms and watch him for a while, only asking, “Are you finished now?” when it mostly dies off.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m not even close to being finished with you. And you know this has everything to do with me, Ava. He’s my biggest rival. Eli and I have hated each other for years.”
“It’s pointless, your rivalry. I keep telling him that, but he won’t listen to me. He’s just as stubborn as you,” I say, though that’s not one hundred percent true. I’m sure if I asked, Eli would drop this rivalry, once and for all.
And you can bet, I’m going to ask. After tomorrow’s game.
“Do not compare me to that asshole.” He points at me, completely offended.
I roll my eyes. “You sound just like him. I swear to God, you two are so similar sometimes, it’s scary. That’s why you hate each other. You’re in constant competition with yourselves and with each other.”
Jake is boggled by my little speech. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense, Jake! You two are cut from the same cloth, just like Dad, just like Ash Davis, just like Diego and Caleb and Tony and all the boys on Eli’s team too. You’re all highly competitive, overrun-with-testosterone guys who are out for each other’s blood, and it’s ridiculous. It’s just a football game,” I say, knowing that last line alone is going to get him. I know it’s not just a football game.
At least, not for anyone I just mentioned.
“Just a football game? Are you listening to yourself right now? I know you don’t give a shit about sports, but this game is everything to me. This entire season is do or die. We have to win. We’ve never lost to the Mustangs and I refuse to be the first team to lose to them in our game history. I fucking refuse, Ava.”
“Eli is dying to be the first quarterback to get the win against our team,” I admit.
“Interesting how you call it our team,” my brother says.
Oh please. Of course, it’s my team. “Because it is. I go to that school just like you do. I’m a cheerleader there. It’s our team,” she retorts.
“You’re a traitor,” he says in this low, menacing voice. It kind of freaks me out.
“You’re being unreasonable,” I start, but he shakes his head, cutting me off with a look.
“How long has this been going on?”
“It doesn’t matter—” I start.
“How long?” Another interruption.
“Jake, seriously. What does it ma—”
“Ava! How. Long?”
Sighing, I avert my gaze, pursing my lips. Can I tell him the truth? Or will that have him freaking out even more? I decide to be real with him. Fuck it. That’s what Eli would say. “Since…the summer.”
“Are you serious right now?” Oh, he didn’t expect that answer. “When exactly did you two start—seeing each other?”
“At the football camp at Heron Lake in June.” I meet his gaze once again, guilt swamping me. I hate that he found out via a story on Instagram—thanks Eli. And now he’ll probably hate me. Our relationship will be damaged forever. He’ll hold this against me.
Deep down, I sort of don’t care. I’m in love with Eli. We belong together.
We do.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I finally say. “You have to know this, Jake. I don’t want to hurt you, and neither does Eli. Not like this. What we’re doing shouldn’t matter to you. Like I said earlier, before you rudely interrupted me, our relationship has nothing to do with you. Eli cares about me, and I…”
A lump forms in my throat and I try to swallow past it. The corner of my eyes pricks with tears and I tell myself to get it together. I can’t cry in front of him.
“I care about him too,” I whisper, clearing my throat. “A lot.”
“He’s using you,” Jake says, his voice eerily calm.
“No, he’s not,” I say. And I know that for a fact. Eli could’ve screwed me over weeks ago. Months ago. He never did. He’s not a patient person who’s lying in wait to trap me either. He’s about as real as he can get.
Especially with me.
When Jake still hasn’t said anything, I continue to be honest with my egotistical big brother.
“Don’t you get it? This has nothing to do with you, Jake. The world doesn’t revolve around you and football and all that other bullshit. This is about me and Eli.” I hesitate for a moment. Should I say it? Screw it. I’m saying it. “We’re in love.”
The jer
k laughs at me, like I have no idea what I’m talking about. A short, sharp sound before he presses his lips shut, that glower still on his face. “That fucker doesn’t know how to love.”
“What do you know about him? Huh?” He doesn’t reply so I carry on. “Nothing, that’s what I thought.”
“I know he’s using you to get to me. He doesn’t give a shit about you,” Jake says, his words piercing me like lethal weapons. Like knives. They’re extra sharp and cut me right in the heart.
Eli isn’t using me to get to Jake. I know he’s not. But hearing the words said out loud fills me with a little bit of doubt. What if he is using me?
What if he dumps me and I become the biggest joke our school—and Eli’s—has ever seen?
No. I don’t believe it. I can’t. Jake’s just saying that to get under my skin. It’s what he believes.
Not me.
My face flushes as I jump out of bed and point at the door. “Get out.”
He blinks at me, resting his hands on his hips. “What?”
“Get. Out,” I spit out. “I’m not going to let you tell me what Eli feels or how he’s using me. You have no clue what you’re talking about. Leave my room. Now.”
We stare at each other for a long, tension filled moment. Jake exhales, and I remain there in stony silence. What has Jake ever done for me, huh? Lately, nothing. He’s too wrapped up in his own life. It’s his senior year, last chance for football greatness on the high school field, blah blah blah. He doesn’t give a crap about me. Not really.
Not like Eli. Eli loves me. I love him. I don’t need Jake on my side.
Breathing deeply, Jake turns and leaves my bedroom without another word, slamming the door shut behind him.
I can’t help but start crying.
Forty-Three
Ava
I stand on the sidelines, clutching my poms nervously as I watch the game. We’re in the second quarter. The two-minute warning just sounded. We’re currently tied, and I’m so tense, I feel like I could shatter at any moment.
At halftime, I’ll have to run out on the field and go through the crowning ceremony with Wyatt. We’ll be quickly introduced before they move on to the crowning of the senior king and queen. Dad has already complained how so many boys from his team have to deal with this. He’d rather have them focused on the game, not participating in a crowning ceremony.
The entire day has been action-packed. From the time I arrived at school—at seven in the morning to help decorate the gym for the homecoming rally—I’ve been on the go. There was the homecoming parade, the rally where I performed with the rest of the cheer team and had to play my role as homecoming princess. At lunch, I helped with taking photos for the yearbook. Before the final bell rang, I was out on the sidelines of the football field, helping setup our tumbling mats for cheer.
Never once did I get a break. Never once did I get a chance to talk to Eli or even send him a quick text. I didn’t tell him Jake figured us out.
That is definitely something we’ll need to discuss tonight.
The Mustangs currently have the ball, and I can’t take my eyes off Eli as I watch him play. It almost physically hurts, me cheering on the sidelines for the team my boyfriend isn’t on. I’m so glad they’re winning. I’m also sad for my brother and his friends. My dad, their coach. I don’t like feeling so conflicted.
Not at all.
Our boys somehow keep the Mustangs from scoring again. Our defense is really strong. One of them sacks Eli and takes him down to the ground, and a little gasp escapes me when it happens.
Then Cami calls the next cheer and I have to turn away from the field to face the crowd, unsure of Eli’s safety.
This sucks.
Once the clock finally runs out, I head over to the far-right corner of the field where the ceremony is going to be held. Wyatt meets me with a weary smile as both of us are handed our sashes and I’m given my crown from one of the office staff who’s helping coordinate everything. We stand at the end of the line behind the freshmen and sophomore class princes and princesses, my arm through Wyatt’s as we wait our turn while making small talk about the game.
The seniors show up just behind us, and I glance over my shoulder, trying to catch Jake’s eye. I’d wanted to ride with him to school today, considering he was up early too to go to conditioning, but he looked me right in the eye and told me no.
Now he won’t look at me at all. He only has eyes for Hannah. Or the field. Or Tony. I’m sure he can feel me staring at him.
God, why are boys so stubborn?
“Are you really going to ignore me?” I call out to my big brother. When we were little, we were closer than Autumn and I. Actually, Jake and I have always been close. With Autumn, everything felt like a competition. Sometimes, it still does. With Jake, he felt like my friend. We had fun. We ran around in the yard together. Played on the swings. We shared friends. He taught me how to play video games and made fun of me when I sucked at them. He used to braid my hair when Mom needed his help. Jake is actually really good with hair.
Not that he’d ever want that little secret getting out.
It hurts that he won’t look at me, won’t talk to me. That he’s taking my relationship with Eli so personal.
Why can’t he understand he had nothing to do with it?
“We can talk later,” he tells me, his expression blank, his gaze meeting mine for the briefest moment before it skitters away.
I turn fully so I’m facing him, letting go of Wyatt’s arm. I don’t want to air our personal business in front of everyone, and I can tell from the way they’ve all gone silent that they’re listening closely, but I have to get this off my chest. “Please don’t shut me out,” I tell my brother. “This isn’t my fault.”
“Bullshit,” Jake spits out, his voice venomous. Hannah rests her hand on Jake’s arm to quiet him, sending me a sympathetic look.
Whirling around, I face forward again, slipping my arm back through Wyatt’s and practically clinging to him.
“You okay?” he asks.
I glance up at him, seeing the concern in his gaze. He’s a good guy. “Family trouble,” I say with a sigh.
“You and Jake are fighting?”
I shrug. “He’s mad at me.”
“He’ll get over it,” Wyatt says calmly. “He always does.”
I don’t know. This is pretty major. It might take a long time for Jake to forgive me.
Forgive me for who I love. Which is ridiculous. It’s not his choice. It’s not anyone’s choice but mine. I know the main reason Jake hates Eli so much is because he never stops taunting him on social media. Eli has made everything worse, and I guess I shouldn’t blame Jake for being angry.
After all of this blows over, perhaps I can convince them that maybe…they could somehow be friends?
Weirder things have happened…
Finally, they start the ceremony, and we wait our turn until our names are announced. I paste on a smile and walk out onto the field with Wyatt, following a strip of red carpet toward a makeshift stage where we end up standing next to the sophomore prince and princess. The crowd applauds us all. I spot Mom sitting up in the stands with some of the other football moms. She’s on her feet with her hands cupped around her mouth yelling, “Whoo hoo, that’s my girl!”
Kind of embarrassing, but I do love that she’s proud of me.
Once the applause dies down, our emcee announces it’s time for the seniors to come out. Jake and Hannah are the last couple introduced. I smile my encouragement at them as they approach, but again, Jake won’t even glance in my direction. Hannah flashes me a quick, nervous smile.
I wonder if she knows about me and Eli. I wonder if Jake told her. I’m sure he did. Though she’s got other things to concentrate on right now.
My palms start to sweat and my heart is racing as I wait for them to call out the winners’ names. I’m nervous. I hope Jake and Hannah win. I really, really do.
“First, our homecoming king is
…Anthony Sorrento!”
The crowd roars with approval, and disappointment crashes over me briefly as I release my hold on Wyatt and clap my hands for Tony. I’ve always liked him, though we’ve never talked much. Still…
Despite the fact that Jake’s mad at me, I really hoped he would win it.
“And tonight’s homecoming queen is…”
There’s a drumroll from the band up in the stands that seems to go on forever. The wait is excruciating, and I can feel the restlessness in the air.
“Sophie Whitmore!”
Smiling, I clap and cheer for them, laughing along with everyone else when Sophie nearly loses the crown our student body president sets on her head and Tony reaches out to keep it steady. They’re a cute couple. I should try and get to know Sophie better, especially since she’s Hannah’s best friend.
“And that’s it! Let’s have another round of applause for this year’s homecoming court!” More clapping and yelling from the stands as we all remain in place for the various photographers who are currently taking our photos. It’s endless. Parents and friends and staff with phones. The football players appear ready to burst from impatience. There’s a man from the local newspaper taking our photos as well, along with a couple of other professional photographers. Finally, Wyatt can’t take it any longer.
“I’m out.” He gives me a quick hug. “Wish us luck.”
“Good luck!” I call after him as he jogs across the field. All the other boys follow after him, Jake being the last as they head for the locker room. “You’ve got this, Jakey!”
He sends me a withering stare but keeps going.
My heart sinks and my eyes sting with tears. I blink them back, telling myself there’s no way I can cry. Not now, out on the field. Not like my brother will care anyway. He’d probably say I deserved to feel bad.
What the hell am I supposed to do about this? How can I repair my relationship with my brother and keep Eli as my boyfriend?
I don’t know if doing both is possible.
I head back to the sidelines where the rest of the cheer team is waiting to go back out onto the field and perform. Since luck is clearly on my side, Cami catches up to me, slowing her pace and walking beside me.
Addicted To Him Page 35