by Mercy Levy
Maddie felt relieved as she saw the clerk stamp the letter for the post, and eagerly grasped the train ticket he handed her. Though it wasn't an ideal situation, Maddie felt better knowing she wasn't going to end up out in the cold.
As soon as she had her ticket, she headed back home to pack the few things she was going to take with her.
It was hard for Maddie to decide what to take and what to leave behind. There were so many memories connected to the few things she hadn’t sold when she needed money the last time, and she didn’t know how she was going to part with them now.
I’ll just grab this trunk here, and whatever I can fit into it, I’ll take.
Maddie pulled a small trunk out of the closet. She remembered when she and Tom had moved into the house, and all that they owned fit into the small trunk. Now, it seemed very small as she tried to fit the things she wanted to keep inside.
She folded up her two dresses and her bonnet, then her shawl on top of those. She packed her Bible in next, followed by a small trinket box Tom had given her for her sixteenth birthday.
And suddenly, the trunk was full. Maddie looked down at it in dismay, then glanced around the room, trying to see if there was anything else she might be able to fit into the trunk. With a sigh, she sat on the end of the bed and put her hands to her forehead.
"It's ok, Maddie. These are just things. They aren't Tom, and they aren't..." Her words drifted off. She refused to say her baby's name. In fact, she had refused even to think of her little girl's name since the day she had passed. Maddie rose to her feet and looked around the room.
There were still a few toys tucked into a basket she hadn’t been able to bring herself to part with. Now, she walked over to the basket and selected the smallest of the toys, feeling the tears well up in her eyes as she walked back to the trunk and placed it inside.
She sniffed and brushed the tears out of her eyes, then closed the trunk. She had to force it to get it to snap closed, but she picked it up and shook it, making sure nothing was going to fall out. Then, Maddie laid back on the bed and closed her eyes.
Her train was set to leave within the next couple of days, and all this would become nothing more than a memory. Maddie rolled over onto her stomach and took a deep breath in the quilt beneath her. Tom’s smell had long since faded from the sheets, but she still felt she was leaving him behind.
Ignoring the emotions that filled her chest, Maddie made herself a cup of tea, then sat on the edge of her bed and looked at her train ticket as she sipped on the hot liquid. Life had been a struggle for as long as she could remember. But all that was about to change.
This ticket was her ticket out.
Maddie stood on the platform at the train station feeling incredibly nervous. She had heard of the many accidents that trains had, and she hoped they weren’t going to run into any difficulties along the way.
She held her ticket in her hand, waiting for the conductor to tell her she could board. Looking around the train platform, she couldn’t help but notice all the people who were saying goodbye to their loved ones. Some people looked scared, others looked sad, and others looked excited.
Maddie wondered if anyone noticed her. She wondered if they were curious as to why she was there alone, and she wondered if anyone would be curious to know where she was going. Maddie smiled and shook her head. No one had noticed her for a very long time, and that was fine with her.
She didn’t need to be noticed, and she didn’t need anyone to stand here and tell her goodbye. She was on her way to a whole new life. At last, the conductor motioned for the people to board, and Maddie felt her heart begin to pound.
She gave the man her ticket, then carried her small trunk into the coach. She considered putting it on the shelf above her seat, then decided to hang onto it would be better, so she put it on the seat next to her.
Perhaps this will keep anyone else from sitting here. I don’t know that I would be much for conversation right now, and I would certainly prefer to be left alone.
Chapter Five: Mr. Hank Lipton
Maddie didn’t know what to expect on her journey out West, but it went much faster than she had anticipated. She managed to keep to herself as much as possible on the train, and though she had to finish her journey by stagecoach, she still didn’t speak much with the other passengers.
At last, the driver called down that they were nearing their last stop, and Maddie leaned out the window, looking at the town rising in front of them. It appeared to be small, much smaller than the town she had left behind in Vermont, which surprised her.
Maddie had always felt that town too small, and now she was moving to one smaller still.
Don't think about it too much. You're going to be so busy inside the house; you don't even notice how small the town is.
The coach rumbled to a stop in front of a general store, and Maddie marveled at how much smaller the store was compared to the one back home. She suddenly remembered Hank would be out there, and eagerly scanned the few people who were standing on the steps.
They were all young, and Maddie figured they must have gotten out of school shortly before the coach arrived. She stood at the top of the steps of the stage for a moment, waiting for the driver to help her down. She still didn’t see anyone waiting for her, and her heart began to sink.
Did I come all this way to be left on some stairs in front of a general store?
“Here’s your trunk, Miss.” The driver handed her the small trunk from on top of the coach, and Maddie thanked him. She then tentatively climbed the stairs, looking around uneasily.
Upon entering, Maddie saw a few people turn around to stare at her, and she felt embarrassed.
"Well, you must be Hank's new wife!" The clerk announced, and Maddie felt somewhat better.
“Yes? How do you know who I am?” She asked, and he chuckled.
“We don’t get many pretty young strangers in these parts. Don’t you worry, Hank’s going to be here soon. Had a cow that was due to calve any time, that’s probably what’s holding him.” The man smiled a toothless smile, and Maddie gave a half-hearted smile in return.
She sat down on the bench outside to wait, wondering what kind of man left his bride waiting because of a cow. Finally, a wagon appeared in the distance, and a handsome young man leaped off the side.
“Mrs. Shoat? Hank Lipton, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Sorry to keep you waiting, but the cow went in to calve right as I was getting ready to come get you, and she had trouble last year, so I needed to be there with her.” He smiled, and though Maddie had already decided she wouldn’t fall in love with him, she couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was.
He was older than her, she guessed by six or seven years, but she could tell that he worked a lot. He was muscular with defined arms, and a smile that made her heart flutter. She thanked him for picking her up and inquired about the cow.
"Oh, she's fine. Cute calf, though. I suppose that's a grand wedding present! Ha!" He laughed and slapped his knee, but Maddie only smiled.
"The sheriff should be in his office, I hope. He can get us hitched; then we can head back out to the house." Hank wiped his hat across his forehead and nodded toward the jail, and Maddie nodded. They left her trunk in the back of the wagon, then walked over.
Maddie had spent her entire childhood dreaming of her wedding day, and she had lived that dream with Tom. This wedding was unlike anything she had ever imagined. The sheriff had them recite their vows, then he and his deputy signed the marriage license. Maddie and Hank signed next, and it was over.
She has married again.
Maddie rode next to her new husband in silence, trying not to think of the fact she had remarried. She told herself it was necessary, but it was still hard for her to fathom.
"I think you'll like the house. It's small but big enough for the two of us. I thought you might like the inside for yourself until you get good and settled. I don't mind sleeping in the barn."
"Thank you." Maddie hadn'
t said much, but Hank had talked nearly the entire trip out to their farm. He told her of the animals, and how he normally cared for them, then he told her how he hoped she would settle in, but he tried to keep from asking her any questions as much as he could.
"I think it's going to be fine. I didn't have too big house back home, and I'm not expecting much." She forced a smile, and he looked relieved.
"Back home… well, you mentioned what happened with your husband and baby. I'm real sorry about that. But did you have any other family?" He looked worried, as though he had overstepped his bounds with the question, but Maddie simply shook her head.
“None living. It’s just me.” She looked out across the snowy prairie, and Hank said nothing. Finally, he spoke once more.
“Well if there’s anything you need, anything at all, I would be happy to get it for you. As I said, I can’t offer you much, but you are more than welcome to all I do have.” He smiled at her, and Maddie managed a small smile back.
"Thank you." She whispered, then became lost in her thoughts.
Chapter Six: Life on the Far
Life with Hank wasn’t as hard as Maddie had thought it was going to be. He kept to himself much of the time, and she kept to herself just as much. They would eat their meals together, but besides that, Hank spent much of his time outside while Maddie tended to the chores within the house.
She settled right in, enjoying having things to take care of again. Though she had been living in her house alone in Vermont, there wasn’t much to take care of after she had sold everything.
Here, she had the dishes to do, and meals to make for the both of them. She tended to her mending as well as his, and she was surprised he had never asked her about the raggedy old coat she had brought along with her.
She fed the chickens and took care of the milk after Hank had brought it inside, steaming to the brim in the bucket, and she even enjoyed taking care of the orange cat that lived on the back porch.
Maddie didn’t want to admit it, but she could see herself being happy here, as long as things stayed the same with her and Hank. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him. She thought he was very nice, and he was always very considerate of her and what she was doing but admitting to herself that she liked him felt like a betrayal to Tom.
She had promised Tom she would love him and him alone for all her days. Though he was gone, it was hard to consider doing anything else.
The days passed, and Maddie became more torn in her feelings. She hadn’t even considered the fact she could love anyone else, but Hank reminded her a lot of Tom, and there were things he did she couldn’t help but appreciate.
It was as though the feelings would sneak up on her without her realizing it, and she would catch herself thinking about Hank when he wasn’t there or wondering what he thought of the dress she was wearing.
What are you thinking? That man isn't Tom! He's not the love of your life. You married him out of need, remember? Stop it.
"I thought you might like these," Hank said as he pushed through the door. He had already gotten all the routine outdoor work done, but he was working on more things in the barn, leaving Maddie alone in the house. She gasped as he handed her a bouquet of dried flowers.
“Where did these come from?” She asked, carefully touching the petals on one of the flowers.
"I had them in the barn. I've wanted to meet and marry someone special for a long time now, and when the flowers started fading, I wanted to save some in case I met that special person over the winter months. It turns out I'm glad I did." He smiled and winked at her, and Maddie involuntarily smiled back. She felt her cheeks flush, and he laughed, then went back outside.
Maddie walked over to the window, feeling ashamed at her reaction. The flowers had made her day, but the fact that he had made her heart flutter and her cheeks flush made her feel guilty.
She instinctively thought of throwing the flowers out, but when she walked out the back door, she suddenly felt another surge of guilt.
What is wrong with me?
She hesitated a moment, then walked back into the house, placing the flowers in a mug. She set them on the middle of the table and couldn’t help but notice how much they livened up the room. Suddenly, it struck her.
Christmas was only a few weeks away, and she hadn’t even thought about it.
I wonder if Hank celebrates Christmas, and if there’s anything he wants…
She caught herself again, shaking her head at her thoughts.
How could she consider getting him a gift? She hadn’t celebrated Christmas herself in a long time, and it seemed odd to her to want to start now. She decided to move the flowers to the window in the kitchen.
They looked nice in there, but they didn’t make her feel like the living room needed to be decorated for Christmas.
"I don't think I'll bring it up at all. If it's important to him, I'll tell him how I feel about it; then he can decide what he wants to do from there." Maddie said aloud to herself. She didn't understand why she felt so strangely about things, but she wished the feeling would go away.
“I suppose I better get the stew going, he’s going to be in here in an hour, and he’s going to be hungry.”
"I like where you put those flowers. And dinner smells delicious. I'm as hungry as a bear after the spring thaw." Hank pulled his hat off and took his place at the table. Maddie chuckled.
“I can’t say I’ve ever seen a bear in the spring. Are they hungry?” She asked, and Hank nodded with his mouth full of bread.
"They're so hungry you got to watch out for them. I have to make sure the cows are penned up at night, so they don't get to them." He spoke with another mouth full of biscuit, and though Maddie's initial reaction was to tell him to mind his manners, she found his actions rather endearing.
She took a dainty bite of her stew, and he smiled at her with a chuckle, then apologized.
“Look at me over here, eating like an animal in the presence of a lady. Excuse me.” He tucked his napkin on his lap, then picked up his spoon and took a small bite of his stew as well. Maddie laughed, then caught herself. She felt embarrassed that she had laughed, thought it had looked rather funny.
“I like it when you laugh.” Hank said without looking up, then added, “it’s pretty.” He took another bite of his biscuit, and Maddie felt her cheeks flush crimson. She had told herself she wasn’t going to fall in love with this man, but she could sense it happening.
She didn’t know how, and she didn’t understand why, but with every passing minute she found herself more fond of him than the last.
Chapter Seven: Secrets
Maddie didn’t understand what was happening to her. She thought it was going to be easy keeping to herself and ignoring Hank, but it seemed the more she liked and opened up to him, the more he returned her feelings.
Maddie could tell from the beginning that he liked her. It was evident in the way he had treated her. But, she wondered if he could tell she was opening up more, and how she would look at him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
She had caught him watching her more than once when she was doing things around the house, and whenever she did, he would give her a charming smile that would make her heart pound. It was getting harder to think of Tom without thoughts of Hank creeping in, and it was nearly impossible to think of Hank without fondness forming in her heart.
The days past and the two of them became closer. Maddie began to realize how much she missed loving someone, and how nice it was to have someone to talk to and know. She began to look forward to breakfast when he would come in from the barn in the morning, and she would miss him when he went out to sleep in the barn at night.
The more she fell in love, the more Maddie wanted to celebrate Christmas again, but she wasn’t sure how to ask Hank about it. She figured he would have said something to her by now, but he hadn’t brought it up at all, and she began to wonder if he even enjoyed it himself.
Finally, one night at the dinner table, she
asked him.
“Hank, I was wondering if you might want to set up a Christmas tree in here. It’s coming up, and you know how much a tree can liven up a room.” She smiled, waiting for his reaction.
He looked at her first, then around the room, then back to her.
"I suppose we can do that if you like. I've not celebrated Christmas in quite some time. I'm not opposed to the idea of it, though." He smiled, and Maddie said she was excited. She wondered why he hadn't celebrated himself but decided not to ask.
“I thought you said you didn’t celebrate Christmas in that letter you sent?” He said suddenly, catching Maddie off guard.
"I haven't for the past few years, but I've been hurting. I've felt a lot better since coming here, though, and I wondered if you might want to celebrate with me." She spoke softly, hoping he wouldn't start asking her questions about her family.
He took another bite of his dinner than nodded.
“That would be fine. I guess it’s about time I got over things myself.” He patted her on the hand, then turned his focus on the paper in front of him. Maddie smiled, but she was curious.
What did he mean he should get over things, too?
Finally, her curiosity got the best of her, and she asked him.
"Oh, my Love, I don't want to bore you with the details of my life. I've had my share of ups and downs, just like the rest of the world. What happened, happened, and there's no need to dwell on the past." He gave her another pat and turned back to his paper.
Maddie began to feel suspicious. She didn't know why, but there was something about what he said that made her wonder about his past exactly. He had never told her anything about his life before she came, only that he was looking for someone special to love for a while and had picked and dried those flowers in hopes he'd meet someone over the winter.
Besides that, Maddie had no idea if he had any family, what they were like, or if she was even his first wife. As far as she knew she was, but he’d never said anything about it. She tried to approach the subject once more, but Hank gave her a stern look.