by Kyle West
Isaru seemed contemplative, as if he still hadn’t gotten what Seeker Grenwold said out of his head. “I think I’m going to the library.”
Samal guffawed. “The library? What do you want to do in there?”
Isaru shrugged. “I have questions.”
“Well, we’ll leave you to it,” Ret said. “Shanti?”
“I’m probably just going to catch up on sleep.”
“Suit yourself,” Samal said. “But remember what Grenwold said about idleness.”
Samal and Ret headed one way while Isaru and I headed the other. The dorms were in the same direction as the library, so we walked together. The corridor was mostly empty, though we did pass several Seekers who paid us little attention.
“What questions do you have, anyway?” I asked.
“About what Grenwold talked about,” Isaru said. “Reversions in the Northern Wild, that sort of thing.” He shrugged. “Besides, wasn’t it she who said we needed to take up our own studies? Might as well start now.”
“You’re making me feel like I should be doing something more important than sleep. Only I can’t think of anything more important than sleep right now.”
“You’ve had a rough few days, that’s for sure.”
As we passed through the Great Hall and on to the library, I left Isaru and headed for the stairs that would take me to my dorm. When I arrived, I was glad to see Isa was out. Not that I had expected her to be in. I shut the door.
I lay down and shut my eyes, and with that motion, I was truly alone for the first time in what felt ages. A flurry of emotions assailed me. It seemed unreal that, just a few days ago, I had been home in Colonia, happy that the war was over and my father was home.
And now here I was, hundreds of miles away, beginning a new life as an Elekai.
There was something of the dragons inside me, something of the xen, and it was the same for everyone else here. Who among my ancestors had been Elekai, and were my parents paying the ultimate price for my blood? Just not knowing their fate made the tears come to my eyes. Here, I was completely helpless to do anything, and even if I could reach Colonia, I would probably be completely helpless there, too. I could not make myself believe the Covenant killed them, but wasn’t that what they were going to do to me?
I remembered that Isandru had said he would look into it, but he had also made no promises.
I made a mental note to ask him the next time we met.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I WOKE UP JUST IN time for dinner, but when I entered the Great Hall, the table Isaru and the others were sitting at was crowded with initiates. There seemed to be two tables open. The first was a mix of older initiates and apprentices, all male, including Martin, Tarman, and others. The other table was a mix of girl initiates and apprentices, among whom Isa was sitting.
I went to sit next to her, and as I did, Elder Arminius stood to make an announcement.
“Before we begin,” Arminius said, “I believe some introductions are in order. We have some new initiates in our midst, and in the coming days, I hope you will do all you can to make them feel at home.” He nodded. “If the newcomers would stand?”
I got to my feet, and saw that several others – not just Isaru, Ret, and Samal – also rose. Perhaps they had arrived only today. Among them, I was the only girl, and besides the people I already knew, there was a tall, lanky boy with wide eyes and disheveled hair, and a shorter, stout boy similar to Samal in stature, but he had black hair cropped close.
“Welcome, all,” Arminius said. “I hope, in the coming years, we can make Seekers of you all.”
At this point, the food was served. Today it was chicken and rice with mixed vegetables. Even as everyone around me talked about their days, I ate quietly, feeling as if I hadn’t earned the right to speak yet. Isa beside me was bright and animated, seeming to be my complete opposite. I wasn’t really following the girls’ conversation, but at some point someone asked me a question that I missed. Isa elbowed me, snapping me out of my daze.
“What?”
The woman who was sitting across and to the right was looking at me pointedly. She was a pretty woman, with shoulder-length brown hair, high cheekbones, and light blue eyes. “Shanti, right? Where are you from?”
Already, they were asking me about the part I didn’t want to get into, but there was little else to do but answer.
“Colonia,” I said.
Everyone shared a look. It seemed as if they already knew that, but merely wanted to confirm the fact.
“See?” Isa asked. “I told you.”
“We never doubted,” the woman said. “But let me guess...they cast you out like unwanted garbage?”
“Something like that,” I said. I decided it would be best not to go into the whole “stepping off a cliff” thing.
“They took me to the northern border and told me to never come back,” the woman said. “At least then I had a shot of making it to the Exile Villages, and it was there that a Cleric found me.”
“You’re from Colonia, too?”
She nodded. “Not the city itself, but a town a few miles upriver called Red Sands.”
“I haven’t heard of it.”
“Few people have.” She held out a hand. “I’m Aela. There are few enough of us women here, so it’s good for us to stick together. If we don’t...well, then our voices simply aren’t heard.”
Listening to her accent, it did sound similar to my own, but she had a slower way of talking than me.
“Maybe we should all make introductions,” I said.
“I’m Deanna,” the woman across from me said. She had strong features, handsome rather than pretty, with dirty blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. “Apprentice Deanna, that is. I’m training with the Augurs.”
“Deanna and I are both apprentices, actually,” Aela said. “But that doesn’t mean we think ourselves above the initiates. In fact, we still have much to learn.” She glanced over at the men’s tables. “It’s not the same with them. The male apprentices enjoy reminding the initiates of their place.”
Isa leaned closer to me. “It’s been a while since they’ve both been initiates. You’ll have to forgive them.”
“Speak for yourself,” Deanna said in response to Aela, confirming Isa’s point. “I have no qualms about making an initiate jump from time to time.”
“How many Seeker women are there, anyway?” I asked.
“Not many,” Aela said. “There are seven here at the Sanctum at the moment, including Eldress Karu of the Scholars. There’s Marlene and Karai, both Clerics, and in the Augurs there’s Grenwold. There’s Amalia, one of the most skilled Champions in the Order, to whom I’m apprenticed.” She paused thoughtfully. “Who else am I missing?”
“Janus the Judge,” Deanna said. “And the last one is Fiona, a Prophetess.”
“We don’t see much of her, though,” Aela said. “She’s also the newest Seeker, and the youngest.”
“Why’s don’t you see much of her?” I asked.
“Because she’s a Prophetess.”
That didn’t really help elucidate things, but I didn’t press the issue. “What do the Prophets do, anyway?”
Aela smiled, as if that were some sort of running joke. “A lot of people around here ask the same question.”
“Everyone has a role,” I said. “At least...don’t they have a role?”
“If by role, you mean sitting on Nava Mountain all day, then the Prophets are the busiest Sect in the Order.”
“Sitting all day?” I asked.
“They listen to the Xenofold,” Isa said. “Awaiting revelations from the gods.”
“Do they ever hear anything?” I asked.
Deanna and Aela shared a look. “They say they do, but it seems like half of their prophecies turn out to be bunk. A lot of people don’t think their Sect is relevant, and some would have it replaced with something more practical.”
“That will never happen,” Isa said. “The Sects have remai
ned the same for almost four centuries.”
“Isandru keeps the Prophets going, that’s for sure,” Aela said. “He’s the oldest of the Elders, and has been an Elder for over forty years.”
“He started when he was fifty,” Deanna said. “Or so they say.”
“That man’s probably older than the Mountain,” Isa said.
Everyone shared a laugh, but I was still curious. “Isandru is the only one I’ve really talked to. He’s kind.”
“Probably trying to recruit you,” Deanna said. “Few enough choose the Prophets. Everyone likes to be good for something, and no one likes to sit down and listen to nothing but the wind. The hardest part about the training is the sitting and doing nothing. The discipline of Stillness. It’s important, don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather take two hours of heavy physical training over two hours of sitting on my butt.”
“Speak for yourself,” Aela said. “After how they train us, I imagine being a Prophet would be a well-deserved rest.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s probably more work than it sounds.”
“She’s already sounding like one,” Deanna said.
“She has to make it, first,” Aela said. “We all do.”
Everyone went quiet at that, and concentrated on eating. After a moment, I broke the silence.
“How many won’t make it?”
Aela swallowed before answering. “Most won’t. More than most. At least nine out of ten fail to become a Seeker. And only one in four initiates goes on to be an apprentice. We girls have a better track record of making it, but only because we tend to be stronger.”
“Really?”
“It’s not that women are naturally stronger,” Deanna said. “It’s just that many women who could be trained end up staying at home. Something about tradition. It takes a woman of truly strong potential for most parents to see the sense of sending their little girl hundreds of miles away, and even then, it often takes a Cleric or two to do some convincing. It’s strange how parents are much less hesitant to send off their boys. They’re men, they can take it! It’s as if they believe we women can’t handle a little pain.”
“Women are just as capable as men, though,” I said, thinking of my mother.
“Whatever the reason,” Aela said, “it’s just the way it is. I didn’t really have family to hold me back, so the Sanctum was the only place for me.”
I kept silent, not really wanting to think about how my situation was similar.
“My parents let me come,” Isa said. “Among the Samalites, it’s a high honor to enter the Sanctum, either male or female. Once I’m a Seeker – if I become a Seeker – I’m going to return home and pick up right where I left off.”
Deanna grunted. “Good luck with that.”
“What does that mean?” Isa asked.
“You think you’ll have a normal life after this? Get married? It takes a special kind of man to marry a woman who’s a Seeker. Do you see any of the ones here married?”
“It happens,” Isa said, crossing her arms. “In the North, a woman Seeker is a good thing.”
“What about the men?” I asked. “Are any of them married?”
“Some,” Deanna said. “But most, no. What woman would marry a man who’s away most of the time? I suppose Clerics or Augurs might marry local girls – maybe even Champions – but for the ones who are stuck here most of the time? It just doesn’t happen. Seekers afield can be reassigned at a moment’s notice. While marriage isn’t forbidden, it is discouraged. Most just don’t bother entangling themselves with romance.”
“That’s my philosophy,” Aela said.
I felt surprise at that. From Aela’s looks, I would have guessed she could have had any guy here interested.
“So, there’s no romance here? At all?”
Deanna smiled. “You seem so disappointed.”
“It just seems counter to reason,” I said. “You put men and women in the same room...stuff happens. Drama, usually.”
“And that always gets blamed on women, too,” Deanna said. “Trust me, men are just as bad. In the past, there have been measures to even bar us from the Order! An Order founded by Annara herself!”
“It’s a sacrifice,” Aela said. “Not everyone is willing to make it. That’s why so few initiates ever become full Seekers. It requires submitting all of your own wants and needs to those of the Order.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I said. “How do Seekers identify potential recruits, anyway?”
“Most Clerics have the Gift of Insight,” Aela said. “It allows them to sense others’ connections to the Xenofold, even if that connection hasn’t been consciously established yet. It’s a common Gift. Almost all Elekai have it in varying capacities.”
“Even Aelor?”
Deanna smiled. “Well...maybe not Aelor. He’s useful to the Sanctum, and no one knows the library like he does. Then again, if the Clerics had done their job properly, he would have never been recruited to begin with.”
“How long has he been here?” I asked.
“Almost as long as Elder Isandru,” Aela answered. “Sometimes, potential recruits are found later in life, though it doesn’t happen often. Most people manifest in their teens, and it’s the best time to start training. Otherwise, the potential slowly goes away. It could be Aelor might have had the chance to become a full Seeker had his abilities been detected earlier.”
“It’s a little sad,” Isa said.
“He said he was happy,” I said. “Maybe one’s strength of connection shouldn’t be everything.”
“The rules are strict,” Deanna said. “If you don’t possess potential in any of the Gifts, no Sect will accept you. For now, Aelor just helps Haris, and we all know what that would be like. That is what’s truly sad.”
“What’s his deal, anyway?” I asked.
“No one really knows,” Aela said. “He’s strong, though. Some people use their strength for good, while some people use their strength to bully others.”
“He didn’t seem that strong to me,” I said.
“He might surprise you,” Deanna said. “He can go toe to toe with most of the Champions, and he possesses a total of Four Gifts. No one has that many in the Sanctum, besides some of the Elders.”
“I mean...isn’t he aware of what others think of him?”
Deanna shrugged. “When you’re strong, does that matter?”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept my peace.
Aela gestured to Deanna beside her. “She and I are part of the same class, twenty initiates gathered from all over. Some are from the Eastern Kingdoms, though most are from the Red Wild. Most are found by the Clerics, who are like the Augurs but for one crucial difference: they deal more with commoners than the powerful. Augurs, for their part, recruit among the nobility. Although being Elekai is a matter of blood, the Gift of Inherence only occurs in a few. Inherence just means one who manifests naturally, without any sort of training.”
“That’s me.”
“It shows that you have a lot of promise,” Deanna said. “Don’t think it’ll be easy, though. I have Inherence, too, and if anything, they’ll go a lot harder on you.”
“Do you have potential in any other Gifts?” Isa asked.
“Er...Calling as well as Dragonspeech.”
Deanna and Aela looked at me blankly. The former was the one who spoke. “You’ve Called before?”
“Only a few times,” I said. “By accident. I was being held prisoner in Colonia, and that was how the Elders knew I was there. I thought I was just praying.”
“That’s three Gifts,” Deanna said. “Three Gifts, and no training. Give her a Seeker’s robe already.”
“She’s like Fiona,” Aela said. “She’s also of the Godsblood, and is the niece of the King of Sylva. Even for one of the Godsblood, though, Fiona is strong. It’s ironic that the Prophets always seem to be the strongest.” Her voice told me she thought this a waste. “Perhaps one in a hundred initi
ates possesses the ability to manifest naturally – to have Inherence. Isaru also has it. That’s three in this very building right now.”
Deanna cleared her throat. “And me.”
“Yes, sorry,” Aela said. “There might be a few others as well.”
Deanna looked at me pointedly, as if in challenge. “One cannot last long in the Sanctum without determination...even with Inherence. The only question is, Shanti...do you have it?”
Her question took me aback, because I didn’t know if I could honestly answer “yes.” Part of me wanted nothing more than to be far away from here. If I could take it all back, I would. I would never have gone to that fair, and I would have never met that dragon. Then again, judging from everything I had learned so far, my manifestation probably would have happened anyway.
“It’s my first day, and I still have a lot to learn,” I said. “But I’ve never been one to give up.”
Deanna nodded. “Many have also said that. I think you will see, in time, that the Sanctum is a place where we truly learn about ourselves.”
Everyone was watching me, waiting for an answer, but I could offer nothing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
THAT NIGHT AS I LAY in bed, the silence of the room grated on my nerves. The thick stone walls made sure that not a sound was heard from outside. It was strange, this silence. In Haven, there had been the shifting of wind through the leaves. In Colonia, there had been the wind, the dust, or the occasional sound of a horse whickering in its sleep.
“Shanti?”
Apparently, Isa was having trouble sleeping, too.
“Yes?”
“Is it true that you can talk to dragons?”
“Yes. That was how this whole thing got started.”
“What do you mean?”
I paused for a moment, considering whether I should explain everything. A part of me didn’t want to do it, but Isa seemed well-intentioned.
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll try my best to tell it...”
So, I told her everything. Normally, I wouldn’t have gone into such detail with someone I didn’t know. Chalk it up to loneliness and the realization that no one here really knew me. If I was to survive here, I needed to trust somebody. I needed to have a friend.