I blush, only because that was never my intent. “Ah, thank you. And I’m sure Jessica will look gorgeous.”
“Jessica is a troll.” Ali appears by her mother’s side and Patti gasps, shaking her head at her youngest. “What? It’s true! Look what she did to my brother.”
I appreciate this girl’s loyalty, I really do. “It worked out in my favor,” I tell her. “Because now he’s mine.”
“And you two are so adorable together,” Patti gushes. “Jim’s mother was saying last night when we drove her home what a lovely couple you two make.”
It’s important to me, to have his family’s approval. I like them a lot. I want them to like me too, and I think it’s working.
“I love your dress,” Ali tells me, and I glance down at myself, pleased with my choice. I picked it up at the same place I got the dress I wore last night. The fabric is thin and gauzy, and the palest blue, with little yellow flowers scattered all over. The skirt is long and constructed of layers of lace and cotton, and it clings to my waist and hips in a way that accentuates my butt before it flares down to my ankles. The sleeves are frilly but not too fussy, and the neckline again dips into a deep V like my other dress, revealing just a hint of cleavage.
It’s deceptively innocent. I’m hoping Theo likes it as much as I do.
“Thank you,” I say to Ali, who smiles at me. She’s adorable in a sweet pink dress that shows off her slender waist and legs. She’s a beautiful woman. All of the Crawford children are attractive.
Especially my Theo.
We engage in small talk before we make our way to our seats. Theo’s brothers soon join us, all three of them handsome in their suits. The sun shines down upon us and there’s a gentle, cool breeze coming from the nearby ocean. It’s a beautiful day to get married, and while I was feeling resentful about having to celebrate these two’s wedding last night, now I’m experiencing a pleasurable hum of joy buzzing through my body.
I’m truly happy, I realize. I’m in love with a man who loves me back. I’m sitting with his family, who have all readily accepted me as one of their own. And—I might be pregnant with his baby, which doesn’t scare me at all.
The thought of having Theo’s baby actually excites me.
Eventually the music starts, cueing that the ceremony is about to start. After the groom walks to the altar accompanied by his parents, Theo is the next to appear, escorting his grandmother down the aisle. He guides her to his seat, which isn’t too far from mine, but he doesn’t even glance in my direction.
Odd.
Once his grandmother is seated, he heads for the altar and assumes his position, clutching his hands behind his back as the next groomsman heads toward the aisle with a bridesmaid on his arm. Theo stares straight ahead, his expression so firm, it could be made of stone, and something tells me he’s angry.
At what? Did Jess try to speak to him again? Did he have a confrontation with Craig? God, I hope not. He doesn’t need this additional stress on today of all days.
I keep my eyes on him, willing him to look at me, but he doesn’t. Not once, which I find disappointing. We’d been so flirty over text earlier, I figured he’d send me a smoldering look and offer up a sexy wink. But I get none of that.
Not even a quick smile aimed in my direction.
Once the bride makes her appearance—and yes, she is absolutely stunning in her gown, I can’t deny it—they all turn to face the minister, and I stare at Theo’s stiff back with longing. And worry. Something is bothering him.
I don’t know what it could be.
The ceremony is quick, and neither the bride nor the groom wrote personal vows to each other, which I think is a blessing. It’s a very straightforward, typical vow recital, and once it’s over and the minister says Craig can kiss his bride, he dips her dramatically and lays one on her that would make any woman blush.
“Good Lord, what a spectacle,” Theo’s grandmother harumphs in the middle of the kiss, making me giggle.
The music soars and the newly married couple exit the ceremony. Craig wears a satisfied grin and Jessica appears only vaguely mortified by that kiss. Everyone participating leaves the altar, and Theo is last. Again, he doesn’t look at me, though I catch him smiling tightly at his mother when she makes eye contact with him.
What in the world is going on? We all head to the reception tent together, everyone chattering about the ceremony and Ali lamenting about how hungry she is, but for the most part, I don’t pay attention. I can’t focus. All I can think about is Theo and how—angry he seemed.
Angry at me.
But what did I do?
Servers walk around the tent with trays of delicious appetizers, but I turn them away. Champagne is being passed about too, but I refuse to drink any alcohol for fear I might be pregnant. I find a table to sit at and plop down in the chair, watching everyone roam about and chat with each other. I know no one except Theo’s family, and we’re not that close. Besides, much of their extended family is at the reception, so of course they’re going to chat and play catch up with each other.
Theo is stuck taking photos with the wedding party for who knows how long. I just wish I could see him. I hope he tells me what’s wrong.
I really hope I have nothing to do with it.
“Are you okay?”
I glance up to find Ali standing in front of me, a worried expression on her face.
“I’m fine.” I try to smile, but my lips don’t want to cooperate, so I give up.
She settles into the seat next to mine and sips from her glass. I assume it’s wine, because there are no fizzy bubbles in it. “You look depressed. Are you like me? Weddings always make me sad.”
I turn to look at her with a frown. “Why do weddings make you sad?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a great thing. Look at my parents. They’ve been together forever.”
“Your parents are really sweet,” I say, my voice quiet. I adore them. I adore this entire family.
“They are,” Ali agrees. “But marriage seems like such a—trap. Is that what those two really want?” She gestures at a giant photo of the happy couple that’s sitting on an easel close to the tent entrance. “I think they secretly make each other miserable. My parents are the exception to the rule. A lot of people end up divorced.”
“The divorce rate isn’t as bad as it used to be.” My protest is weak. I was Ali not so long ago. A firm believer in the love is bullshit theory. But I also had a terrible example growing up. My dad wasn’t around. Ever. My mother hated everyone on sight, only because she was so bitter and resentful. Life handed her nothing but lemons, she said, and she never got any lemonade out of them.
Whatever “lemons” she was handed, she squandered. My mother didn’t make the best decisions. She’d lavish all that bitterness and resentment on me. When I was in high school, I was merely going through the motions, desperate to get away from her, and then she up and died on me.
She left me first.
I have abandonment issues. I know I do. This is why I’m always the one to end a so-called relationship first. Can’t get in too deep, can’t stand too long. That’s only asking for trouble.
Now I want to be with Theo. Crap, I think I might be pregnant with his baby. But I also worry he’s angry at me.
And I don’t know why.
“You just haven’t met the right guy yet,” I tell Ali, reaching out to set my hand over hers and give it a squeeze. “He’s out there. I’m sure he is.”
“I sort of have a crush on a guy, but he doesn’t even know I exist.” She sighs and shakes her head. “Isn’t that always the way?”
“He’s a fool if he can’t see you.” I squeeze her hand again. “You’re beautiful.”
“Oh, he sees me, but I’m sure he thinks I’m an annoyance. He’s older.” She pouts, looking even younger than she really is. “And completely out of my league.”
“Who is it?”
“You don’t kno
w him,” she says quickly.
“You’d be surprised,” I tell her. “This town is smaller than you think.”
“He owns Tuscany. The restaurant in downtown Carmel? Well, he owns it with his brother,” she explains.
“Get the hell out,” I breathe. “I’m good friends with their sister, Stella.”
“Oh God.” Ali covers her cheeks with her hands, her expression made of pure mortification. “This is so embarrassing. Please don’t say anything to her.”
“Of course I won’t. This will be our little secret. Though she’ll be at the brunch tomorrow, if you still want to come,” I explain. “Maybe you can dig her for information. And which brother is it that you’re crushing on?”
“Michael,” she says dreamily.
He’s a solid thirty-five, I believe. And Ali is what…twenty-one? Twenty-two? Hmm.
“No way can I dig her for information. I don’t want her to know I have a stupid crush on her brother. God, I sound like I’m thirteen,” she practically wails.
When she moans and groans like that, I have to agree. “You better come with me to the brunch tomorrow. You’ll love Stella. She’s great. Hopefully you’ll love all my friends.”
“Thank you so much for including me.” Ali smiles, and she looks so grateful, I know she means it. “I’ve been feeling down for a while now. Ever since I dropped out of school. Most of my friends are away at college, but the few who are here I don’t see. I’m afraid they’ll be too curious and ask endless questions I don’t want to answer.”
“If you don’t mention dropping out of school to anyone tomorrow, then no one will ask you about it,” I remind her. “And that’ll solve your problem.”
“You’re right.” She grins. “It totally will. And maybe I could become good friends with Stella, and next thing I know, I’ve convinced Michael Ricci to fall in love with me.”
Sounds farfetched, but hey. You never know…
“Everyone, put your hands together to welcome your bride and groom to their party, Craig and Jessica!” the DJ soundly announces over the loudspeaker, making both Ali and me wince.
Everyone in the reception tent roars their approval. People whistle and cheer their names, and I can see the newly-wedded couple enter the tent hand in hand, Craig raising their arms in triumph and making Jessica laugh as she gazes up at him. He’s a little cheesy, but at least he looks pleased to marry her. I hope Jessica feels the same way.
Knowing that the newly married couple is finally at the reception, I can only assume the rest of the wedding party have arrived as well. “I’m going to look for Theo,” I tell Ali as I rise to my feet.
“Good idea. I’ll wait for you here,” she says.
I make my way through the increasingly crowded tent, smiling and nodding at people as I pass them by, my gaze constantly searching for Theo. I spot every single one of his brothers, but not him. I see the bride and groom—Craig shoots me a big smile and yells, “Smoke show!” right at me, which makes Jessica’s eyes narrow as she studies me.
Great. Thanks, Craig, for pissing off your wife.
I’m about to give up and go back to the table and join Ali when I spot him standing near the bar with a drink in his hand. He brings the glass to his mouth and tips his head back, downing it in one swallow.
Oh boy.
I go to him, smiling when our gazes catch. He doesn’t look pleased to see me.
“Hi,” I say breathlessly when I’m close enough that he can hear me.
“Hey.” He averts his gaze, staring off into the distance.
My chest hurts. My stomach roils. What in the world went wrong in the past couple of hours that now he barely wants to look at me?
“Are you okay?”
A laugh escapes him, though it completely lacks humor. “No.” His stormy gaze returns to mine. “I’m not okay. I’m actually pretty fuckin’ pissed off, but I’m trying to remain composed since we’re at a goddamn wedding.”
I rear back. I’ve never heard him sound so angry before.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Maybe I had nothing to do with his mood after all. I reach for him, resting my hand on his forearm. He looks so handsome in his tux. It fits him perfectly, and his hair appears freshly trimmed, though it’s still a little too long on top, so it flops adorably across his forehead. His eyes are full of angry heat, though, and they practically blast right through me when he stares at me for a second too long.
“Talked to Alex Wilder,” he says, his voice tight. “Your boss. He told me something interesting. About you.”
Oh. Oh no. I can feel all the color drain from my face and I swear my body sways, like I might faint. “What did he say?” I whisper.
“You know what he said,” he growls, setting his empty glass on a nearby table before he grabs my arm and escorts me straight out of the tent. Oh, he’s so angry. His body practically vibrates from the force of his emotions, and I have no one to blame for his reaction but myself. I did this to him. I kept something huge from him for a little too long, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. I’m a liar. I’m no better than Jessica, the woman who broke his heart.
My heart wants to break too, but I have to convince him that was never my intent. Will he believe me?
Theo leads me over to the farthest side of the tent, the one closest to the ocean, which I can hear crashing in the distance. No one is around. There are some hotel employees nearby who are currently taking down the chairs from the wedding ceremony, but otherwise we’re alone.
“Which job are you going to take?” he asks when he turns to face me.
I stare up into his beloved face, knowing he probably won’t believe me, but I say it anyway. “Neither of them.”
He scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m sure London is very appealing. That’s the one Alex believes you’ll accept, by the way.”
“If I chose Vegas, that means I can live near Eleanor,” I tell him softly. That was probably the wrong thing to say.
“Jesus, Kels.” He thrusts both his hands in his hair, glaring at me. “You got two job offers and you never told me! You never mentioned the interviews, none of it. What was your plan? To tell me goodbye once you made your decision?” He drops his arms at his sides, his expression forlorn. Fury mixed with a healthy dose of sadness.
“I was going to tell you. It just—never seemed to be the right time.” My words are weak. And there’s so much hurt etched into his handsome features, I can barely look at him. “I found out about the open positions, and then other things happened and I never got around to mentioning it to you. At one point, I didn’t believe either of them would offer me a position, so I figured I wouldn’t say anything unless I heard back.”
“When did you find out?” he asks.
“Friday. Alex told me Friday. But then I got sick and…” My voice drifts. I can’t tell him how I think I might be pregnant. That is the last thing he’ll want to hear right now. It’ll probably only make him madder. “I was going to tell you that night, but then you said you loved me and—”
“That would’ve been the perfect time to tell me, Kelsey,” he stresses. “Yet you didn’t. Almost like you wanted to keep it to yourself. That’s—fucked up.”
“I was going to tell you! Tonight!” I reach for him, but he jerks away from my touch. “I swear, Theo. It all happened so fast. Alex told me about the job offers, and that I should take the weekend to think about them. And it hit me at the rehearsal dinner when I was sitting next to you. I didn’t want to leave. Everything I could ever want is right here.” I hesitate, tears welling in my eyes. “With you. And then you told me you loved me and…”
“I don’t know if I can be with you, if you can’t be honest with me,” he says, his voice hard. Like steel.
I gape at him, my mind swirling, my vision going blurry. Oh my God. He’s going to break up with me right here, right now. On the day his ex gets married. How ironic.
“You should’ve told me. I can’t handle it if you’re going to keep secrets from me.
That’s not the type of relationship I want to have. I need open, honest communication. Especially after everything that happened with—” He waves his hand distractedly toward the tent, indicating Jessica.
I nod, letting the tears fall. They streak down my face, one after the other, falling onto the ground and I keep my head bent so he won’t see them.
No way can I mention the possible pregnancy now. He’ll really lose it. It’s bad enough, what he’s just said. My next secret confession will send him right over the edge.
“I need time to think,” he finally says.
“It’s okay.” Sniffing loudly, I lift my head once more, letting him see me. I never cry, and when I do, it’s always in private. I don’t let anyone see me having a vulnerable moment if I can help it.
But with Theo, I want him to see me. To see my sadness and despair at the thought of losing him.
“Take your time,” I tell him once I’m composed enough. “Think it through. I never meant to hurt you, Theo. I love you.”
He stares at me for a long quiet moment before he turns on his heel…
And leaves.
Twenty-Five
Kelsey
It’s Sunday morning. Almost brunch time. But I’m not going. I already sent a text to the group chat, telling them I’m not feeling well and can’t make it. I’ve been crying in bed since I got home yesterday late afternoon from the wedding. I drowned in my tears, crying so hard I almost threw up.
Juvenile, I know, but I’m broken hearted. Devastated.
I stopped off on my way home at Walgreens to pick up a couple of pregnancy tests, praying no one I know would see me. I got out of there unscathed, but once I arrived home, I couldn’t make myself take the test. I was too wound up, too upset. Why add one more thing to my pain?
Lying depressed in bed, not eating, not drinking, only getting up to use the bathroom. That’s all I’ve done for the past, ohhh—sixteen hours or so. I slept fitfully, and when I did, I dreamed. Of Theo telling me it’s over and he doesn’t want to see me any longer.
Wedding Date (Dating Series Book 6) Page 20