by Jax Hart
The band switches it up, but we stay pressed, close together. No one bothers us or thinks it’s strange and I don’t think much of it either as other couples start making out hard.
His lips find my neck, teeth nipping down. “I dream of you, woman.”
“I dream of you, too,” I confess as his large palms move down to cup my ass lifting it at the same time to bring my core tighter against his. My legs fall open, hooking around his waist as he spins, placing me back against the wall. He holds me up with one hand on my ass while his other palms my breast over my sweater. “All I want for Christmas is you,” he groans pushing his hips against me. He feels so good. I’m lost in the music, the noise, the merriment. Maybe I should let go just this once and do something just because it feels good, just because I want to.
“Kiss me. Show me your face. Tell me who you are,” I breathe against his neck, peppering it with tiny kisses; the same kind he gave me.
“Hold on.”
I’m lifted in his arms, moved through the crowd and carried down a dim hall. He kicks open the door to a small supply closet, turns off the lights and lets his sturdy back fall against the door practically barricading us inside.
He grins and flicks the light off. My hands rip off his beard, his hat, those stupid spectacle glasses—as I tip up and smash my mouth against his. “Why? Why won’t you show me your face? Are you injured? In some bad accident?” I gasp in between kisses.
He doesn’t answer.
Instead he whips up my sweater, unhooks my bra and attaches his hot tongue to my aching nipple.
I can’t speak after that. My hands frantically tug down his pants, reaching inside to feel his hard length. He groans as I pump it in my hand, feeling the thick girth; the velvety tip of the head, needing it to soothe the ache in my core. The need to have him there, rooted deep is everything right now.
My hands snake under his shirt, press against his abs, his chest as I take fistfuls of it and help him left it off.
My hot tongue traces things I feel but can’t see. We fall to our knees, licking, sucking, kissing our way to the floor. He tastes like peppermint and Jim Bean. Strong and a bit sweet. Fire breaks out between us. He pulls down my leggings far enough to slip a hand inside. “Fuck doll. You’re drippin’.” I groan, arcing my hips up to meet his seeking fingers. He plays with my clit, pinching it hard then rubbing it lightly. Two fingers dive in my creamy channel and I practically scream as they rotate around to rub that secret spot.
I close my eyes, even though I can’t see. I know I’m close and shame fills me as it’s Dare’s name I see—his name I scream as I come hard on someone else’s hand.
Falling limp and sated I apologize. “Sorry. I’m so sorry.” Muttering, I feel around in the dark for my sweater throwing it on without a bra. He curses, reaching for me, but I’ve already crawled to the door using the light coming from under the crack to find it.
I rip it open, running into the crowd. I open the heavy door to the bar, letting the icy air chill me. That was an inferno back there. I’m still on fire but the problem is I’m not sure for who.
“Need a ride?”
Federico stands in the shadows, smoking a cigar.
“Please. I need to leave”
“He messed it up again. Didn’t he?”
“Who?”
“Dare.”
“He’s not here. That was yesterday.”
“I don’t want to say anything. The code of the MC prevents me from being a snitch. But put it together babe.”
“I’m tired. Still a bit buzzed and feel a bit guilty. I’ll deal with him after Christmas.”
Federico shrugs and helps me inside his truck. The hotel is silent as I key in. I race up to my room not wanting to risk running into Dare. But I’m not tired, still feel hot and sticky from the bar. I grab my bikini and go down to the spa. The pool is lukewarm, and I dive right in. No one is here, so I peel off my bikini to float naked. It feels better than I remember. So free and so good. I’m still horny though. Sighing, I think skinny dipping was a bad idea after all.
A loud splash has me screeching. A sleek body moves under the water and surfaces next to me.
His face.
Those eyes.
That ripped chest covered in ink. My eyes lower to the arms grabbing my waist.
No.
Yes.
Screaming bloody murder, I jump high, pushing down on the top of my head with everything I have. I catch him off guard and for one triumphant moment he goes under.
But my victory doesn’t last long. He surfaces like a god; all ripped muscles and swirling ink over his hard body. I know I’ll never escape him, so I don’t even try.
“I hate you.”
“I know. You’ve told me more than once, cupcake.”
His strong hands grip my waist, holding me firm. “I wanted to tell you… I had it all planned out but when I saw you with Federico, I snapped. I needed you in my arms, not his. Every time I touch you, I need more. It’s not enough. Never enough,” he groans, bending his head and taking my pebbled nipple into his mouth. He rolls it with his tongue like it’s a gumdrop.
Hate and love merge fusing together.
Want and need collide with anger and resentment.
We are oil and vinegar, salt and pepper—everything that clashes yet nothing else fits with better.
“Tell me it’s only me. That there’s no one else. Swear it.”
“I swear it, Shi. All I see is you. All I want is you. Please be mine, even if it’s only for this Christmas. Give me all your love and I’ll give you all mine. You’ve unwrapped my heart, babe. This Christmas it’s all yours.”
Nodding, through tears, I give my consent for him to take me to the stars. “Take it all away, all the lonely years I spent wishing for things I’ve never had. Give it all to me… every Christmas wish that was unanswered. Give it to me tonight, tomorrow night, and every day until we leave. Promise me.”
“I’ll give you more. Will you try for more with me? Because all I want is to be with you, distance and all—I want to go all in and try with you.”
I cup his handsome face. Laughing and crying at once. “I’m still kind of pissed you tricked me like that.”
“I told you I was it for you. That I was your dream man… I dropped hints babe.”
“I never thought a bad-ass, bas boy biker/CEO would go for that.”
“It was a favor, but then it gave me a chance to seduce this sweet ass when you froze me out.”
“I’m not freezing you out now. Come right on in.”
“Baby,” he moans, walking me backward against the tiled pool wall and hooking my legs around his waist. “I’ve been dying to RSVP to that invite.” In one bold move, he ruts back and surges forward. We both groan as we come home. Found home together; two unwanted lost ones who dreamed of the other, the someday that we both hoped would one day come.
“I guess I do believe in Santa after all,” I whisper as he plunges deep again.
“You know it,” he winks. But then there’s no more talk with words. Our bodies take over and I see stars as my heart and body get what it wanted for Christmas after all: my sexy Santa and my bad boy, biker CEO.
21
DARE
TOO MANY EMOTIONS swirl inside. Her tiny arms wrap around my waist. “This was the best Christmas ever, Dare.” Helplessly, I watch as Roque takes her hand in his and walks her out to the waiting car.
My fist meets the wall.
I should be the one tucking her in tonight. She belongs with me. When she’s safely in the car, Roque turns back to the Inn. “I’ll keep her safe.”
“You better.”
I stand out on the porch until the car carrying a huge chunk of my heart disappears.
“You okay?” Rog comes out wearing a dishtowel around his neck. I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. He rests a hand on m shoulder. “I should’ve got you out of the system. I failed you. But I was still practically a kid myself, running guns a
nd drugs…there’s no way they’d ever let me your guardian.”
“You saved me Rog.”
“Did I?”
I nod.
“Because it seems to me that sometimes… you’re still lost. I raised you the only way I knew how then. Now that I’m having a kid with Dev…I realize how fucked up it was. The things the MC did…”
“Enough,” I raise my hand. “I won’t have you beating yourself up over the past. You were the only person to give a shit about me. Besides, I always lived in the darkness…it’s a part of me.”
“Not anymore.”
“I guess not. It’s been quiet for a while now.”
“Good. I’m damn proud of ya’ taking on that little girl as your own. You’re gonna be the best father, Dare.”
I turn, staring at his wise face, he’s still as big and strong as an ox. Rog was always my idol and in so many ways still is. “No, you are.”
We walk back inside.
“Hey.” Shiloh hesitates.
She’s so fuckin’ pretty it hurts my eyes. “Yeah,” I reply gruffly, my throat still clogged.
She wraps her arms around me. My throat’s thick. There’s so much love and hope I’m bursting with it. “Is this too much? Me? Freddie?”
“No. It’s perfect. She’s perfect. I wish you would’ve said—told me it was her.”
I nod. Not trusting myself to speak. “You’ll come to Chicago?”
“And you both to California?”
“Nothing will keep me away.”
“Me either.”
“Come on it’s cold.” I rub her arms, leading her back inside. Everyone’s eyes lift concerned. Smith and Luce. Rog and Dev. Even Duke and Shanna are here.
I lift my hand. “I’m okay. I just hate that Roque keeps getting all our girls.”
Smith grunts. He had a close call with Luce. Roque wanted her for himself once not long ago.
“Freddie chose you over him. She told me he offered to adopt her, too.”
“That bastard. He always wants what we have.”
“Can you blame him?” Shi asks.
I look around the room filled with family. “No. No I really can’t.”
“Come on it’s couples game night. Scrabble is first.”
“Oh, we so got that, right, Dare?”
“We do.” I kiss her hard, under the mistletoe. Outside, snow starts to fall. The fire blazes and all the cats are here reunited for Christmas Day. Sally brings in a tray of sugar cookies and White Russians.
“It’s so on,” I grin, taking my lady by the hand.
“Merry Christmas, Dare.” She whispers softly by my side.
“Merry Christmas. I-I,” my thumb stroked the inside of her wrist.
“…I know, me too.”
We don’t say it yet with words but we both feel it. The love. All the love.
THE END
EPILOGUE 1
DARE
“YOU’RE BEING AN IDIOT.”
“Excuse me?”
“You know you miss her.”
Damn, first Shi and now this little spitfire has my by the balls. “So what? She lives in California.”
“So?”
“It’s complicated.”
“If you say so. Chicago sucks. It’s cold like all year. Even in summer. It never gets really hot.”
“What are you suggesting Freddy? That I just quit my job and drag you to California?”
Her pencil stills on her math assignment. “I was thinking more like a Valentine’s Day surprise. I have President’s Day off from school…”
“I messed up.”
“No, you didn’t. But you’re messing up now by not telling her how you feel.”
“Jesus, Freddie. How do you know all this shit?”
She shrugs. “The day manager at the group home used to stream old soap operas. You need a grand gesture. It needs to be big. Something to show Shiloh how much you care.”
“How about just ringing her doorbell and showing up with you?”
“That might work. But we’ll need chocolate and roses to start… then we need to tell her how we feel. Say the words, Dad. Don’t be afraid.”
“Say it again.”
“Dad.”
“Oh, Freddie. My daughter. I have a daughter.”
“You do.”
“Let’s go get your Mom.”
“It’s about time,” she giggles. “Give me your phone, I’ll book a red eye.”
“Do you think she loves us?”
“Why wouldn’t she? You and I are so badass.”
“Language, Freddie!”
“Come on, we need to pack.”
Sighing, my heart is full. I have a daughter and maybe someday soon, I’ll have a wife.
EPILOGUE PART II
DARE
“WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?” I hold the flawless diamond up to the light.
“No. It’s not the one,” Freddie answers, staring back down at the rows of engagement rings. “It needs to be the best one.”
“I know.”
My heart feels as if it’s about to burst right out of my chest. A year ago, I was feeling angry, lost and lonely as fuck. Now I have a daughter and hopefully soon … a fiancée.
Freddie is helping me plan my proposal, insisting a Christmas engagement is the next best thing to a Christmas wedding and I couldn’t agree more. The happy memories we are making are filling all the holes from my childhood. There’s so much love in my life; more than I could have ever dreamed.
“This one. It’s perfect.”
She turns to me. Her eyes alight with happiness, her face glowing. Freddie’s light glows from her. She’s blossomed this past year. We had a few awkward moments when she asked for money and wanted to go the drugstore alone at nine at night. I’m not sure whose face was redder: mine or hers when it finally dawned on me what she needed.
But overall, we’ve become quite the family. I haven’t told her yet, but this Christmas my gift to her — is that we are going to be together forever. The adoption paperwork is almost done. Freddie is about to be officially my daughter.
I take the diamond ring from the jeweler feeling the weight of it in my hand.
“It’s a Tacori. I know it’s what she wants.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh-huh. I was flipping through Shiloh’s magazines and there was an ad. It was in her eyes when I showed her.”
“Freddie? You didn’t give away our surprise?”
“No. I just asked her if she thought it was too gaudy.”
“She said it was perfectly elegant and exactly the kind of ring she would wear.”
“Hmmm. Okay. I trust you.”
“I love you, Dare.”
“Love you too, squirt. We’ll take it.” I hand my credit card over to the clerk. I already know the ring will fit. Shiloh sleeps like a hibernating bear. It’s cute as hell. She didn’t even flinch as I took her ring finger one night and took a ring sizer to it, making sure I knew exactly what size ring would slip on her finger—a six.
“Are you happy here in LA?”
“I am. I love the warm weather and the Palm trees. But I still think Christmas needs snow and evergreen trees.”
“Agreed.” Freddie and I moved to California for Shiloh. I opened up a West Coast office. The distance was too much and taking its toll. Shiloh was floored, but truthfully, I was done living in the cold. Besides, it’s a day’s drive up north to Springdale to the people who are family.
“Did you buy gifts for Uncle Rog, Aunt Devon, Aunt Shanna, and Uncle Duke?”
“No, I didn’t. I need your help with that.”
She clasps her hands giddily. “I can’t wait to spend Christmas in Springdale with them.”
“I can’t wait either.”
“Are you sure, you are okay staying with Rog and Dev for a few nights?” I’ve made arrangements for Freddie to stay with them so I could seduce Shiloh at the Inn, in the very room we made love for the first-time last Christmas.
&
nbsp; She rolls her eyes. “I am almost a teen… and yes, I can’t wait. They have dogs… two dogs, a cat, and a baby!”
Now, it’s my turn to roll my eyes, “I get the hint, sprite. But we live in the city and I just got you figured out never mind a baby.”
“So?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“It’s okay. You’ve given me so much already. It’s the first winter I have my own coat. One that actually fits.” She bites her lip, looking down. “And I’ve never gone to bed hungry or scared since I came to live with you.”
Ah, fuck.
I swallow hard, feeling my throat tighten. My arms go around her, pressing her close. “You’ll never have to worry about those things ever again. I swear.”
The clerk hands over the ring, carefully boxed with my credit card. I sign the slip and pocket the ring.
Freddie hooks her arm through mine as we stroll through the outdoor mall. “So, you think she’ll get mad if we buy a house in Malibu without consulting her?” I ask Freddie.
“No. But she’ll just lie and tell you she loves it.”
“Am I moving too fast?”
“No. I was ready to be your daughter months ago. They called me.”
“Who did?”
“Some lady from the department of children services. She asked me all sorts of questions about you… if I wanted you to adopt me.”
“The cat’s out of the bag then, huh, sprite?”
“I told her it was my Christmas wish come true.”
This time I don’t check the tears clogging my throat as a few spill from my eyes. We hug in the middle of the street, uncaring as people walk around us. I breath in deep, knowing I was always on the path that was meant for me even if it came with more than a few hard knocks and turns that had me crashing and burning, because here I am with two women in my life that I’d kill for, loving me and together we are about to be a family. The one I always dreamed about and never thought I’d have. I look up to the sky above Freddie’s head and say a prayer for every lost living thing, that they find home wherever and whoever that might be with.