His mind set to rights, he turned his attention to the barrier, to what moved beyond. “I’m ready,” he said, eyes still shut tight. He felt the barrier waver, so faint it was almost undetectable. It weakened at the center and he homed in on that weakness, inching his powers towards it. The barrier gave way and a sound echoed through his mind, the low hum reverberating through his very essence.
It shifted, growing in power and intensity, and Garild had the frightening realization that his intrusion had not gone unnoticed. He froze, the corruptions power mimicking his stopping. Their energy squared off and in turn they surveyed each other, watching, waiting. With bated breath, he pressed forward. Reaching out, his power as even and unwavering as he could will it to be, he touched the corruption.
At first, nothing happened. Then the humming vibration, felt even in his physical body, intensified. Tendrils branched into his mind before he could react, rooting him in place and slipping through his mind like water through a sieve. There was no stopping it, no force strong enough to force it back out of his mind.
Fear gave way to a strange sort of peace as the corruption saturated his mind, filling every corner. Thoughts were swept away, a slate washed clean, and then he was floating, lost in a sea of stars. It was more than his mind could comprehend. Things too vast to be given a name burst to life in an explosion of light, filling the dark with colors so vibrant and bold he felt them echo in the depths of his soul, his skin tingling as the color trailed past.
What is this? Was he seeing beyond the clouds, beyond the sky, into the domain of Zekar himself?
The feeling was slowly deserting him, the colors fading, leaving only stars. Even as he grieved their loss, he nurtured the feeling of peace left within him. He was eased back into his body, ever so gently, the corruption leaving his mind, quick as it came. Lungs hitched as his eyes opened to the real world, and he gasped, choking down air as if it were water. Gasps melted into sobs, his mind still reeling, bursting with tranquility.
Hands dug into his arm, so far away. So far. He just wanted to go back, to hover in that space forever. He could hear words from beyond, small bits of sound breaching through the fog of peace he clung to.
“Garild! Please answer me!” A feminine voice cut through his fading dream like a knife, stabbing deep into his calm. “Are you hurt? Why aren’t you speaking? Garild!?”
“N-no,” he stuttered. “I just…need more time.” With reluctance, he shed his cloak of warmth, allowing the chilled air of the castle to wrap itself around him. He lay back, stretched his legs out straight, letting blood flow back into his extremities. It was fading so rapidly, leaving him in a world much darker and colder than when he’d left it.
“The hell was that?”
“Is he alive?”
“I’m fine,” Garild whispered, mind settling back into place. He blinked, eyes focusing on the concerned face looming like a moon over his head. Isa was staring down at him, cheeks streaked with tears, dark hair a halo. “I couldn’t stop it. It slipped through my defenses like they weren’t even there at all.”
“I thought you were dead,” Isa said, a trembling hand rising to block out her sobs. Garild forced himself to sit up, his head swimming. He checked his barriers, found them undisturbed.
“You were supposed to warn us if something happened!” Darik said, anger bleeding through his words.
“There wasn’t time,” he said. “I didn’t even stand a chance.”
“It’s not still in your head, is it?” Neela asked.
The barrage of questions was whittling away at his calm. ‘I’m fine!” he shouted, the words sharp. His sudden anger silenced them all, and three pairs of eyes exchanged glances.
Isa knelt beside him, her question gently aimed, as if she were speaking to an angry beast. “What happened to you?”
He was flooded with shame. He’d scared them all and now he was matching their concern with anger. It had been so overwhelming. How could he make them understand what he’d seen, what he’d felt? “I don’t even know how to explain. There aren’t words in existence that could ever do it justice. It just felt…peaceful. Whatever it is, whatever it is meant to do, I didn’t feel malice. It swept through my mind like a breeze and then it was gone. I think I’m more confused than ever about what it actually is, about what it does.”
“We can figure it out later,” Isa said. “I’m just glad you’re all right. We were worried.”
He reached over and grasped her hand. “It’s over,” he reassured her. “I’m okay and I’m here.”
“Let’s keep it that way,” she smiled.
“What is going on over here?” a commanding voice called from behind. Garild looked back, eyes fixating on the very angry queen looming behind him. She stood but a few feet away, her eyes narrowed.
Darik snorted. “Simmer down, my Queen. We may have…encouraged the boy to give the corruption a little poke, just to see what it would do, yeah? Just needed to find out what we’re dealing with, you know?”
“No, I don’t know!” Lillana shouted. Isa helped Garild to his feet, putting herself between him and the queen as if she could block her anger. “Gods, what if it had gotten out? We could all be dead right now because you decided to make friends with that…stuff!”
“You’re right. We’re very sorry,” Neela said. “It was foolish. And reckless.”
“You’re absolutely right it was,” she muttered, shooting a glare at Darik. “Well, now that you’ve endangered us all, did you at least learn something useful?”
Garild shook his head. “I wish I had more to offer. It’s powerful. My barriers didn’t even make it hesitate, it just swept on through and rifled through my head. It didn’t hurt me though. In fact, I felt more at peace than I ever have. I don’t know what it did, or what it wanted, but it didn’t hurt me.”
Isa glanced nervously at the barrier. “Everything we learned in Sanctuary, was it wrong? We shouldn’t let our guard down. It could still be dangerous.”
“I wish it were the only dangerous thing we needed to worry about,” Lillana groaned, glancing towards the main entrance to the throne room. A soldier was admitted, helm held tightly against his body, worried eyes searching the room for the queen. Finding her, he shuffled across the room, armor clanking. “What is it?” she demanded.
The soldier stopped before her, hastily dropping to one knee and bowing his head. “My Queen.”
“Oh, just stand up and get on with it. What’s happened?”
The man looked embarrassed, but he stood tall, relaying the information he’d been sent to deliver. “T-the Raven is here, just right outside the castle gates. He’s demanding you turn yourself over to the common folk to be judged. It looks like half the damned city is out there, and they’ve brought trebuchets. I think they mean to breach the castle.”
“And I’m just now hearing about this?” Lillana asked sharply.
“I’m sorry, my Queen. We’re spread so thin…”
“Gods, it’s not your fault. Make yourself useful, soldier. Run back and let them know we will come forth for discussions. Make them aware that any move made against this castle will be met with full retaliation. I will not give in to threats. Sampson and I will be there shortly. If the situation changes, you run back here as fast as that armor will allow.”
“Yes, my Queen,” the soldier bowed and then he was shuffling back across the room, taking the time to put his helmet back onto his head.
“This isn’t good,” Garild said. “If they breach the castle…”
“I’m well aware of the implications,” Lillana said, gaze drifting to the corruption. “There is a wall and a couple barriers standing between us and that. If it gets out, there is no telling what will happen to this city. Come, we need to get Sampson and get this situation under control.”
“And if they can’t be placated with words?”
“Then I hope you’re prepared for a civil war, and the very real possibility that we might not be able to win.”
/> CHAPTER 20
“It’s useless,” Kirheen huffed, feeling defeated as she looked upon the paper-thin barrier she’d conjured into existence. Her arms were outstretched, and they shook like leaves clinging to a long dead tree. Samira circled, frowning as she looked over her form. She flung out her arm, palm colliding with the barrier. Light blossomed where her hand struck, and the barrier collapsed, blue threads unraveling into hundreds of blue sparks.
In her mind, the blow was mirrored, but those barriers she managed to hold firm.
“You’re holding back,” Samira said. “This is pitiful. I know you’re capable of more.”
Kirheen straightened, letting her arms fall to her sides. Frustration was a festering wound, rubbed with the salt of Samira’s criticism. “That’s exactly the problem. I know I’m capable of more. A lot more. And I don’t want to be.”
“You’re afraid of it.”
“I think that goes without saying,” she muttered. “I don’t feel in control of this. If anything went wrong, if it got out of hand, I could put a lot of people in danger. I’m not okay with that.”
Samira walked among the lights she’d conjured, floating orbs of pale yellow that hovered around her like fireflies. Outside of their gentle light was the dark, stinking underbelly of the ship. Kirheen wrinkled her nose. She wanted nothing more than to be back in the light of the sun, the sea breeze tickling her skin, her powers locked away tight. Samira, however, had wanted to test her, to coax her power out in a place where she couldn’t be distracted. This smell is a distraction, she thought bitterly.
“You’re going to have to face it, you know?”
“Face what?”
“Your fear of it. That’s how you’re going to hurt someone. You let that fear overwhelm you when we face Elfrind and you’ll lose all control over your powers, that much I can tell you. You need to put a leash on it now, or you’re no use to us against him.”
Kirheen ground her teeth. “And what exactly am I supposed to do? You want me to just shake hands with my powers and continue on like everything is fine, like I’m not a walking threat?”
“I expect you to conquer it! Fear is a conjuration of your mind. Take it back. Claim that power before it claims you. Sit. There, right there. You need to focus.”
Mumbling under her breath, Kirheen sank to the ground. She made herself as comfortable as she could, letting her body sway with the ship. Samira sat across from her, orbs of light drifting around to surround them both. “Now what?”
“Now you close your eyes and focus on your power. You face it.”
“I don’t see how this is going to help, but okay,” she huffed. She focused on her breathing, keeping each inhale shallow to avoid the foul, stagnant stench permeating the room.
Closing her eyes, she tried to calm her body. Concentrating on individual muscles, she began to relax her shoulders, her jaw, her hands. Only when her body had settled was she able to delve into her mind. She hovered, her feet dangling over empty space, everything above and below an inky black. It was easy to hide in that space, to hide from the power slumbering deep within, waiting for her to draw upon it. To devour her. To devour the world.
“What do you feel?” Samira asked.
“Fear.”
“Move towards it, look upon it.”
With reluctance, Kirheen parted the darkness around her and stepped into a place humming with power. The floor glowed an icy blue, round and perfect as a full moon. Currents of air swirled in a massive column around the edges of the room, streaks of color seen briefly only to be swept up and carried onwards and upwards. It was like looking at a bright shell, a rainbow of pastel colors all swirling together. It was beautiful, but what sat at the center of the room made her heart freeze within her chest.
A being, not quite wolf and not quite bear, slumbered in the center of the room, massive paws folded beneath a menacing jaw. The fur of the beast was an inky black, a corruption going deep to its very core. Spiny quills trailed the shape of a long, curved spine, a razor edge that quivered with each breath. She could feel the beat of its heart, a pulse beating beneath her very feet.
Each beat called to her, luring her closer, begging her to awaken it with her touch. A force, equally strong, stilled her feet, kept her rooted in place. It warned her against awakening such a being, of wielding something so vast, so dangerous.
The air next to her shimmered, the gentle intrusion of Samira. The beast stirred, an eye cracking open, icy blue and threatening. A growl rumbled deep, shaking the room as Samira materialized next to her. Her dark eyes met the gaze of the awakened beast, staring it down until it rumbled with dissatisfaction.
“This place is beautiful,” Samira remarked, looking around the room, the heart in the center of her being. “So different from my own.”
“Your power appears to you too?”
“Yes. Though mine is a place of sand and cracked earth and my power appears to me as a great golem, taller than any building.”
“And it doesn’t frighten you?” Kirheen asked, the thought of being in control of such power seeming like such an impossible fate. How could she control something that she feared so much?
“There was a time where it did frighten me, and I don’t wish to see those days again. I felt so out of control, so bound by fear. Never again.”
“How? How did you do it?”
“The fear I felt then and the fear you feel now aren’t so different. Look at what your mind has conjured. You fear your power is tied to the corruption, so much so that you’ve shaped a being to mimic it. You fear that by grasping that power, by using it, you’ll unleash devastation upon all you know and love.”
“Why wouldn’t I fear that? It’s possible. I’ve caused enough harm without this amount of power. I can’t imagine my life with it.”
“And so you’ll continue to fear it? You’ll continue to hide while this claws away at your very being? And what happens when you lose that fight, when you can no longer keep it at bay? What happens when it’s the one in control?”
Samira was right and it filled her with shame. If she didn’t take control, if she didn’t own her powers, one day it would own her. She couldn’t risk hurting the people around her simply because she was too scared to act. Something had to be done.
“What am I supposed to do?”
Samira smirked. “This is your mind, girl. Like it or not, it has made this beast what it is. Make it something else. Just don’t be surprised if it’s resistant to such change.”
Kirheen watched the air shimmer again as Samira slipped from view. It was up to her now to make things right. Steeling herself for the task ahead, she took a step forward. A warning growl reverberated through her, fear settling deep into her bones. Just keep going.
She took another step, keeping her chin held high. This was a conjuration of her mind, something she had shaped, whether intentional or not. It was her problem and one she needed to fix. An icy blue eye opened once more, regarding her with anger and suspicion. Her instinct was to look away, to lower her eyes, to bow her head in defeat. Fighting against herself, she matched fire with fire, gaze locking with the beast. The beast tilted its head ever so slightly, muzzle parting to reveal rows of wickedly sharp teeth.
“Oh? And what is this? The mouse has come out of hiding,” the beast rumbled, the voice feminine and brimming with malice. “Will you not flee?”
“I won’t,” she replied, not feeling nearly as confident as she sounded. “Not this time.”
“You hover at the edges. I feel your want, your desire. You need this power just as you need air. Come and take it if you feel so confident.”
Another step brought her within reach of the beast and it raised its head. With a roar she rose, claws scraping against the ground as she found her footing. The beasts great quilled tail whipped in a dangerous arc, razor sharp spines gouging the floor. Where it struck, darkness spread, corruption withering away the light.
Kirheen readied herself, pulling at the fami
liar, the obtainable. She still had power, but until she tamed the beast, she could not reach deeper. Her power was a blade dulled by her own fear. A massive paw struck out, claws singing as they cut through the air. Kirheen leapt back out of the way, putting distance between herself and the beast.
It lunged forward, jaws snapping, and Kirheen ducked, diving out of the way as an audible snap sounded where she’d been seconds before. Coming to her feet, she spun and focused her power. Pain ripped across her chest, dropping her to one knee. “Damn it! Not now,” she growled through gritted teeth. She forced herself back up, fighting through the fire burning its way through her chest. The air changed, the swirling currents of color surrounding them turning to a deep blood red.
Sharp quills flared, releasing from dark fur to arc towards her, deadly projectiles aimed with terrifying accuracy. She grasped as her power, forming a shield in her mind. It barely had time to waver into place before the quills struck with such ferocity that she was almost forced back into reality.
“You are not deserving of this gift,” the beast sneered, pacing along the outer edges of the room. The corruption had spread, slithering across the floor, held at bay by swirling currents that refused to carry it upwards.
Is it right? Am I not worthy?
No. She’d survived too much, had come too far to live out the rest of her days with a beast burdening her soul. How long would she survive living with such fear, being afraid of her own shadow. If she couldn’t conquer her mind, there was little hope of stopping Elfrind.
“This is my mind,” she whispered.
The beast scoffed. “Is it?”
She met the beasts gaze, a smile tugging at her lips. “Yes, it is.”
Kirheen gathered her power, every drop she had left to her name. She focused on the floor, on the corruption blocking out the light. With a push, it melted away, the light shining back through, clashing eerily with the blood red maelstrom. The beast was lit from below and it appeared bigger, more menacing than before. Fangs dripped malice, splashing black puddles on the floor, the light burning it away as quickly as it could fall.
The Allseer Trilogy Page 77