It makes me a little desperate too.
I want him in a way I’ve never wanted anything in my life, and it’s exhilarating and excruciating and terrifying all at the same time.
The best sort of high I’ve ever had.
It makes me forget all the things I tried so hard to be.
And just be what I am.
Because he’s seen my worst and never walked away. Not really.
I push against him, managing to knock him off balance enough to gain the upper hand and the top position. “I have good news and bad news.” I straddle his hips, bracing my hands on his chest as I lean down. “Which do you want first?”
Gypsy’s hands run up my thighs and over the outside of my hips. They follow the slight dip of my waist, taking a path past my ribs until they find my breasts. He rolls the tips between his fingers and thumbs. “Bad news.”
My head falls back just a little at his touch and I lose my train of thought as the sensation travels through my body and straight to where my pussy rests against him. I rock a little as he continues to tease me, pinching with the perfect amount of pressure before twisting the tiniest bit. “You’re so good at that.”
“You know what I’m really good at?”
“Hmmm?” I barely manage to get my attention on his face. “What?”
His hands move from my breasts, skimming back down to grip my hips, holding them tight as he scoots down the mattress beneath me.
“Where are you going?” I barely catch myself as he slides farther down the bed and pushes me up the mattress at the same time.
“Don’t worry about it.” Gypsy’s grip disappears as he shifts around. “You were about to tell me the bad news.”
A second later his mouth is on me, hands braced on the backs of my thighs.
I shift most of my weight to where my hands are against the mattress, feeling a little like I’m smothering him with my—
Parts.
“Can you—” I gasp when he sucks my clit between his lips, the rest of the question falling out of my short-circuiting brain.
“I’m just fine.” I can feel his lips move against me as he talks. “You were telling me the bad news.”
I’m not capable of telling him anything right now.
All I can manage to do is keep from cutting off his air supply. I keep lifting up, trying to make sure he’s not slowly suffocating.
Finally Gypsy chuckles. “Not gonna be your favorite way to do this, huh?”
“I just don’t want you to die doing that.” I start to crawl forward as he moves farther down the bed and out from under me, but Gypsy grabs me before I can get anywhere.
“I didn’t say I was done.” His hand presses to the center of my back, dropping my shoulders to the mattress. “We’re just shifting things around a little bit.” His hands slide down to my thighs again, and his mouth is back on me. “Better?”
I can only whimper as he sucks and licks at me, building me up hard and fast.
And then stopping.
I almost choke on what sounds more like a grunt than a scoff.
“You’ve got to be patient, Beanie.” Gypsy’s body blankets my back, putting pressure on me until I’m flat on my belly. “I promise to take care of you.”
The hard press of his cock against the cleft of my ass does little to make me feel better. The object of my desire so close, but still being kept from me. “I don’t want to be patient. I want you inside me.” I wiggle against him, trying to tempt Gypsy into giving me what I want.
But instead of finding his way into me, Gypsy slides against me, teasing my slit with long, slow drags of his dick, each one is almost enough to get me where I want to go.
But only almost.
God. Damn. It.
I lift my hips a little, trying to cause him to accidentally slip right in.
It doesn’t work. I peek over my shoulder and everything gets instantly worse.
Gypsy’s hand is fisted around his dick, stroking it as he glides it along my pussy. His eyes are dark, hazy, lust-filled. Lips barely parted as the long strands of his hair fall around his face.
It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
And only makes me ache for him more. “Please, Gypsy.”
“Patience, Beanie.”
I love how patient he is. I really do. It’s worked in my favor more than a few times.
Now is not one of them.
I don’t want him to be patient with this. I want him to feel like I do.
Desperate.
Then I remember.
I have a card to play. Two of them actually.
“Gypsy.” I wait until his hazel eyes lift to mine. The sight of him looking at me, stroking himself, steals my breath and I give myself just a second to enjoy it. Then I press on.
Because I don’t want to wait for this a second longer. “I start my period in two days.”
The biologic mathematics don’t seem to register with him. Makes sense since he doesn’t own ovaries. “That means I can’t get pregnant right now.”
The days have gotten away from me, and I didn’t realize where I was in my cycle until my phone alerted me this morning.
A girl needs a heads-up for shit like that, and thank God I set that alarm, because Gypsy finally realizes what I’m telling him.
Finally we’re both on the same page here.
His hand locks onto my shoulder and he flips me onto my back, crawling over me, eyes on mine. “You’re sure?”
“Positive.” A girl who feels the ticking clock of a bum thyroid knows exactly when her eggs drop.
Just in case.
I don’t even get a full breath in before I have what I want, which is Gypsy inside me.
With nothing between us.
And this time for more than a second.
“That’s different.” The condom last night made it seem like a penis was just a penis after all.
Not so much it turns out.
I squeeze around him, trying to get a little better grasp on what exactly the difference is.
“Nope.” Gypsy pulls back until he’s almost completely out. “None of that.”
“I was trying to tell why it felt different.”
“It feels different because there’s less friction.”
That’s what it is. “How do you know it’s less?”
“Just because I don’t have one doesn’t mean I don’t know how a circumcision works.” He lifts a brow at me. “Can we get back to what we were doing?”
I was probably wrong when I said Gypsy is the most patient person I’ve ever met.
I think he’s the most patient person anyone has ever met.
Even mid-banging.
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
I can’t stop the smile fighting its way onto my face.
“What’s that about?”
“Nothing.” I don’t even hesitate this time. “I just really like you.”
Gypsy eases down until his body is on mine. “Good.” He nuzzles my neck as he begins to move. “Because I plan on keeping you.”
I hold him tight, squeezing my eyes shut against the tears suddenly threatening to ruin a perfectly wonderful moment.
Crying before, during, or after sex is not something men appreciate.
Gypsy’s lips move over my cheeks, soft brushes as he whispers words I tried to hear for years. “You are so fucking perfect, Felicity.”
“So fucking beautiful.”
“So fucking strong.”
“So fucking everything.”
He leans up, pressing his forehead against mine. I force my eyes open and look into his, locking my hands against each side of his face. “You are mine, Gypsy. No one better ever try to take you from me.”
“They won’t, Beanie.” His words come out through clenched teeth.
I lock my legs around him, holding on with everything I have to the man who’s been by my side even when I shoved him away.
Even when I said I hated him.
>
The memory is sour in my stomach. “I never hated you. Not ever.”
“I know that.” His eyes are closed tight, his face pinched with focus and control.
I don’t want this to end. Maybe that’s why I can’t shut up. I’m trying to put everything I hid from him into this. Show him I’m worthy of what he’s giving me.
What he’s always given me.
I will do it. And not just this minute.
Or the next minute.
I will do it all of the rest of our minutes together. I will give him back all he gives me.
“You feel so good.” I stab my fingers into his hair, the scent of his shampoo lingering in the strands as they fall across my face. “I love the way you smell.” I pull his mouth down to mine and try to put all I feel for him into the kiss. I need him to know that I see him like he sees me.
That I always did. It’s why I was so afraid.
“You are everything I’ve always wanted.” I manage to keep talking as I kiss across his skin. “You are so much more than I ever thought I would have.” I lock onto the spot at the base of his neck as I struggle to keep ignoring how very big of a difference there is between him and any man I’ve had before.
And I don’t think it’s solely because he’s surgically untouched.
That is part of it though.
But most of the difference is the kind of man he’s shown me he is.
The kind I can trust. The kind I can believe.
The kind I can love.
I feel him jerk inside me. Feel his whole body go tense.
And that’s all it takes to send me with him. The swell of his cock as he comes adding another layer of sensation to what is the single most stimulating sexual encounter I’ve ever had.
I hold onto him with everything I have.
All I can hear is my name on his lips, low and deep. Over and over until he finally relaxes against me, the weight of his body comforting in a way nothing else has ever been.
He makes me feel safe. Not as in ‘I’m sure nothing bad will happen to me when he’s around’, safe.
As in I feel accepted. Appreciated.
Understood.
Maybe that’s why I decide not to hold back from him.
Why I decide to say what I want to say. Because I know it won’t scare him.
I know he won’t leave even if it does.
“I love you, Gypsy.”
His head slowly lifts up from where it rests in the crook of my neck. He studies my face for a minute. Long enough I could get nervous if I wanted to.
But I don’t. Not with him.
Because he knows me. Better than maybe anyone else ever has.
He leans down and gives me a soft kiss. When he pulls away I smile.
Because I know.
It’s in everything he says. Everything he does.
“You love me too.”
“You sound awfully sure of that, Beanie.” His lips barely twitch from the smile I know he wants to give me.
“I am.” I smile bigger.
I have never ever felt secure with a man. Every minute I spent with any man I tried to date was work. Fighting to make him see I was the kind of woman he wanted. Proving my value.
I always knew it was there, I just didn’t know how to make them see it.
Until Gypsy. He saw it even when I tried to hide.
And he showed me himself back. Gave me everything I needed to find this moment.
To find the truth.
“Good. You should be.” He brushes a kiss over my lips. “Because I love the shit out of you.”
****
“I WISH YOU two could stay longer.” My Nanna rounds the table with a large pot of potato soup. “But I know your work is important.”
“We are thinking of coming up once a month and spending a weekend.” I glance at Gypsy.
We haven’t actually discussed this.
The idea just sort of came to me and jumped out.
“Really?” The hopeful tone of my Nanna’s voice has guilt pinching my gut.
I have been negligent as hell. Trying to put the life I had growing up, and all the people in it, behind me because I thought it was to blame for my struggle to find the love I so desperately wanted.
It wasn’t.
Gypsy’s arm falls across my shoulders. “Maybe the first weekend of the month?” He turns his attention from my Nanna to me. “And holidays of course.”
“What about your family, Cody?” My grandma sets a plate of freshly-baked bread onto the table along with a platter of meats and cheeses. “I’m sure they will want to share the holidays. Especially...” She clears her throat. “Down the road.”
Gypsy gives my Nanna a smile. “Once we have kids all bets are off.”
“You’re talking about kids already?” My dad looks genuinely interested.
And a little hopeful. He and my Nanna are the only people besides Gypsy who know where I stand medically. How much I hoped to be able to have children before my thyroid deteriorates to the point of needing medication. How much I wanted to experience what I never really got to have.
“It’s a smart conversation to have.” Gypsy’s thumb strokes against the skin of my shoulder. “Make sure we’re both on the same page.”
“That’s a wise thing to do.” My father grabs a slice of bread and stacks on a pile of turkey. “And are you both on the same page?”
Gypsy turns to me.
“We are.” The answer stirs something inside me. The deep longing I’ve tried to feed is alive and well.
And content.
Because after all the work, all the time I spent trying to force this to happen.
It finally is.
And I didn’t even really have to try at all.
16
FELICITY’S FEET ARE up on my dashboard and her hair blows in the wind. For the first time ever she looks relaxed.
Calm.
And it’s making it hard as hell to keep my eyes on the road.
She turns from the open window she’s been staring out the past fifteen minutes. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
I want her to know all of me. Know the things no one else does.
“What happened to your mother?”
“Overdose.” I don’t think of her often, even though her choices are what led me to becoming what I am. None of the credit is hers. “When I was ten.”
“Did you go into the system then?”
I nod. “Went to a foster home with a bunch of other kids. The parents treated us like paychecks. Didn’t take care of us any more than they had to.”
I wore clothes that were dirty and worn. No socks. Not ever.
Barely enough food to keep the pain of hunger at bay.
“That’s how King found you.”
“He promised me what I wanted most.”
“A family.”
I glance her way. “That’s right.” I reach for her hand and take it in mine. “To his credit he gave me one.”
“Don’t give that asshole credit for anything. He’s a piece of shit.” The venom in Felicity’s tone is surprisingly strong. “You know he beat Jill?”
Of course I do. We all know that. It’s why we are so protective of her now. “Not anymore.”
Felicity’s chin tips up. “I hope one day she has a chance to pay him back for all the shit he did to her.” She shifts in her chair. “I’d be happy to give her a hand.”
“You and a few other women I know.” All this time Tracker, Butch, Hawk and I have wanted to get our hands on King.
Maybe we should just lock him in a room with our women.
“Has anything else happened to my apartment?” Felicity doesn’t sound concerned. Just curious.
“Tracker has had eyes on it since we left and no one has gone near it.”
“That’s weird, right?” She squints in confusion. “I mean, King doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to dish out an empty threat.”
No.
No he isn’t. “There’s no telling what he’s thinking.”
So far King has gone after Kerri, Shelly, and now Felicity. Each in succession.
“He has to have some sort of a plan though, right?” Felicity chews her bottom lip for a second. “I mean, he hasn’t tried to hurt Kerri or Shelly again. Why would he just move on like that?”
That’s a good fuckin’ question.
“It doesn’t make sense that he would just go from one to the next and never circle back. I know Kerri’s a scary bad-ass, and Shelly sort of killed one of The Horsemen, but I can’t imagine King would back down to any woman. Even women like them.”
“Have I told you yet how fucking smart you are, Beanie?” I’ve been so wrapped up in stomping out the fires King’s been setting that I never stopped to try to figure out what he might be trying to accomplish.
I lift her hand to my lips and kiss the back. “You are the best fucking thing in the world.”
Felicity gives me a smile. One that could light up the darkest corners of my past.
She is what I want to give to my kids. A mother who can do anything she sets her mind to. A mother who will face down fear and make it her bitch.
A woman who is strong enough to handle anything life throws at her.
“Where are we going?”
Her question throws me off a little. “Home.”
“My home?”
“We can go to your home if that’s what you want.”
Her lips press into a frown. “What do you want?” She lifts a finger between us before I can answer. “And don’t tell me it doesn’t matter what you want because it does.”
Damn. Part of me thought maybe Felicity had been working so hard not to like me that she didn’t know me as well as I know her.
That part of me might have been wrong. “Okay.” She just stole the exact answer I was planning to give her. I lift one shoulder. “I guess I’d rather have you at the club house.”
She nods. “Okay.”
That was easy. “Just okay?”
“I meant it when I said I trust you. If you think it’s better to be at the club house then that’s where we will go.”
“It’s just got a security system and camera—”
“You don’t have to justify it to me.” Felicity pulls out her phone. “I trust you.”
Gypsy Soul: A Bad Boy Protector Romance (Lost Boys Book 3) Page 14