by Gwenda Bond
His touch had brought her back to life. There was a whole world, not just the lab and its psychedelic fever dreams and mysterious child. She had to remember that.
3.
Terry drummed her fingers against the cot in the small room, then stopped as Dr. Brenner’s eyes gravitated to them. Wavy rainbows seemed to radiate from her hand even once she stilled it.
“You’re not still nervous about the medicine?” Dr. Brenner asked, with a close-lipped smile that told her how silly that was.
“Not really.” Which was true enough; it wasn’t the medicine that had her tense.
“That’s good, Terry,” Dr. Brenner said. “You trust me, don’t you?”
A thread of cold paranoia unraveled inside her. Why was he asking that?
“Sure.”
He hesitated, watching her. “Very good. Because our work is going so well. Are you ready to go deeper?”
What is our work? Or, more specifically, what’s yours? Who’s Kali?
She didn’t know how to ask the questions in a way where they could be taken back if they needed to be—if she was jumping to conclusions she would lose her opportunity to participate in something important. She knew how he wanted her to answer, though.
“Yes.”
“Good.” He removed the small crystal from his jacket pocket and held it in front of her. “Focus right here, concentrate, and once you’re focused, then count backward slowly in your mind from ten.”
She didn’t feel like it, and since it was her mind there was no way he’d know if she didn’t. She sat there, staring ahead but not allowing herself to fix on the crystal.
“Now close your eyes.”
Her eyelids drifted shut, rainbows and sparks flying behind them.
“It’s time for the next step, Terry,” Dr. Brenner’s voice said, smooth as satin. “Time to see what you’re capable of. What transpires here will be a secret. You will maintain this knowledge and complete a task without discovery, but you will have no memory of my requesting it. Do you understand? Can you repeat this to me?”
Terry had to fight to keep her eyes closed and the lie from showing in her response. What was this? Had it ever happened before, when he’d put her under successfully? She should’ve stayed alert, paid more attention.
“What takes place is a secret,” she said. “I will maintain this knowledge and complete a task, but have no memory of anyone requesting it.”
“Good, very good.” There was a moment of quiet, and then she heard the door to the room open. The orderly had left them alone, and so maybe he was returning. The scrape of something against the floor, and then the door shutting again. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she prayed she’d be able to hear Brenner’s words over it.
“Terry, are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“You will remain in the trance state when you open your eyes.” He paused and she wasn’t sure if she should go ahead and open them or not, so she stayed motionless. He said, “Now open your eyes.”
She did.
He sat at a small table that had been placed in front of her. On it was a black telephone wired to nothing and nowhere. He picked up the receiver, and then an object so small she hadn’t seen it at first. A small piece of black metal, thinner than a coin.
“Do you see this?” he asked.
She nodded.
He put it back on the table, and then unscrewed the cover of the phone receiver’s mouthpiece. “You see how easy removing this is? So easy anyone could do it, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“Even you can do this,” Dr. Brenner said, setting aside the plastic piece and retrieving the small bit of metal. He placed it into the receiver, among the metal and wires there. “It must go right here, touching this wire to activate.” Then he screwed the top back on. “And you will do it, just like I did. Understand?”
Terry reached out to pick up the receiver when he replaced it on the hook, assuming he meant right then.
“No, not here, not now.” Dr. Brenner reached into the pocket of his coat and then gently took her hand and returned it to her lap. He pressed something into it, and when she turned over her palm, she saw a twin to the small black metal piece he’d put in the receiver.
“You will place this device in the phone at the florist’s counter of Flowers’ Flowers and Gifts, the business owned by Gloria Flowers’ parents. You will do so before your next session at the lab. Do you understand?”
No. Why? “Yes, I understand.”
“Good. Close your eyes.”
She did.
4.
Terry drove along Seventh Street at a crawl, afraid she’d miss Flowers’ Flowers and Gifts. She shouldn’t have been.
The generous building had a long maroon awning with the name embroidered in ivory. A candy display was visible, alongside figurines and picture frames and furniture underneath the words AND GIFTS. On the other side, with an entrance of its own, was the florist’s, bright bouquets and sprawling ferns arranged in the windows. The address had been easy enough to find in the phone book at the dorm, not to mention accompanied by a quarter-page ad listing the dozens of things they sold.
She parked at the curb right across from the store and got out of her car. A few kids playing hopscotch chalked onto the sidewalk gave her a “what’s she doing here?” look as she crossed the street. She put her hand in her jacket pocket, confirming the small metal device Brenner had given her was there.
The door played a chime when she opened it, and the pleasant but strong aroma of fresh blooms hit her nose.
An older, just-as-polished version of Gloria rose from a stool behind the counter. “Welcome,” she said. “Can I help you with anything?”
Terry walked uncertainly up the center aisle, and breathed easier when she spotted Gloria sitting behind her mother on another stool. She was busy reading a comic book and hadn’t noticed Terry yet.
“I was hoping to talk to Gloria,” she said.
“Oh?” her mother said, turning.
Gloria looked up at Terry’s voice, and set the comic book down on her stool when she got up. “Terry? What’s up?”
Gloria came out from behind the counter to greet Terry. Over her shoulder, she said, “She’s a friend. Part of the laboratory experiment.”
“Nice to meet you,” her mother said, a fuller welcome this time. “Any friend of Gloria’s is a friend of all the Flowers’.”
“Thank you,” Terry said, feeling the weight of the item in her pocket increase. Then, to Gloria, “Can we talk in private?”
“Mama?” she asked. “You mind going to check on Papa so I can chat with Terry? I’ll watch the shop.”
“Nothing to watch until people get off work. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Her mother glided off through a connecting hallway linking the two businesses.
“Now, what is it?” Gloria asked, eyebrows lifted to underscore the question.
Terry swallowed and removed the device from her pocket. She unfolded her fingers and held her palm up where Gloria could see it.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a bug,” Terry said. “I think, anyway. Brenner told me to put it in your phone here…He thought I was under hypnosis.”
Gloria shook her head, peering more closely at it. “What a beautiful little piece of evil,” she murmured. “He thought you were under hypnosis, but you weren’t?”
Terry nodded, relieved Gloria hadn’t kicked her out. She’d taken a gamble coming here, but even if she didn’t know Gloria well, she wasn’t about to betray her. Not when Brenner had just added even more questions to the ones she already had.
“I pretended. I’m supposed to do it before I come back to the lab. He said it was the next stage in my testing.”
“T
heir tests are garbage,” Gloria said. “This is just more proof. It’s the least scientific process I’ve ever heard of.” She held out her hand and waved her fingers. “Give it to me. You tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
“But then you’ll be bugged!”
“I’ll only leave it for a few days,” Gloria said with a small smile. “And besides, we’re a flower and gift shop. If anyone wants to listen to those phone calls, they’ll just be bored.” She hesitated. “I don’t think it was about the listening—it was about seeing if you’d do it.”
Terry had done the same math. That Gloria agreed made it seem more likely…and shook her more. “Have they asked you to do anything like this?”
“No, not yet,” Gloria said. “But they’re experimenting with our memories, our minds—it makes sense they’d want to control us. If they could use regular people to do their dirty work…You’re sure he didn’t suspect you were faking?”
Terry was, actually. “I don’t think he had a clue. And I’m supposed to forget he asked me to do it.”
“Good.” Gloria moved to the counter. “We’d better hurry. Mom will be back soon.”
Terry joined her behind the counter, and pointed to the receiver. “You screw off the bottom plate and touch it to the wires inside. That’s what makes it work.”
Gloria removed the cover, intent on the job.
Terry pictured Kali in her head. Kali, whom she’d not managed to slip away to try to find again. How would she manage to get through the door with its keypad? It’s not like she could just wait for someone to come out again. Or like she had any idea when Kali would even be present. She could chance telling Gloria about the child. Maybe Gloria would have a theory about what the girl was doing there…
Gloria didn’t even need further instruction, sliding the metal piece in cleanly and replacing the receiver cover.
“That’s it,” she said and grinned conspiratorially at Terry.
“You should come to Andrew’s Halloween party,” Terry blurted. “I’m asking Ken and Alice, too.”
Gloria said, “Okay, sounds fun.”
Terry might even figure out what to say to them all by then.
5.
Halloween had always been Alice’s favorite holiday. She didn’t mind standing out, being different. But it was a relief to have a day when no one noticed. When everyone stood out, wanting to be different than they usually were. Also, she got to play dress-up.
When coveralls were the usual clothes and socket wrenches the accessories, the reactions when you swapped them out for a nice dress were gently humiliating. Alice liked dressing up, but not the way everyone teased her. Affectionate, yet the undercurrent remained: You’re not the kind of girl who wears dresses…Can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
Life required trade-offs. Not getting to have someone occasionally say “You look nice” without a wink-nudge was one of hers. Part of her wanted to go full Cinderella for Terry and her boyfriend’s Halloween party—but in the end, she’d been afraid of getting the same sort of looks she got from the people at church in her best dress. So she went for another dream persona of hers. The costume had some glitz to it anyway. She’d modified a drugstore Elvis costume and ended up with a wide collar, big stars sewn here and there on the seams of the top and the white bell-bottoms…
“Evel Knievel!” Terry exclaimed as she opened the door to the apartment. Music bled out from behind her, the room already full of dancing people. Fragrant smoke rolled out. “Alice, it’s perfect! Come in! Andrew, come say hi to Alice.”
Alice beamed at Terry’s correct identification—she was the car-jumping motorcycle daredevil for the night. Terry had bare feet with brown fur glued on, and wore rolled-up trousers and an old shirt. Her hair was arranged in tight curls, pulled aside to reveal pointy wax ears.
“Who are you supposed to be?” Alice asked, puzzled.
Andrew slid up to Terry’s side, good looks muted only slightly by his own ridiculous curls and similar costume. He had fur glued to the top of his hand. “She’s Frodo, and I’m Samwise Gamgee. From my favorite books. I let Terry pick, and she made me the sidekick. But I don’t mind being her sidekick.”
Terry shrugged. “I like Sam.”
“And I like Frodo. Let me get you a drink.”
Alice didn’t drink, but she didn’t say that. She just said, “Thank you.”
She spotted a guy in a monster mask, thin plastic with a distorted mouth and giant teeth. If only he knew what real monsters looked like. Her dress-up joy dissipated a touch at the thought of the lab. That dark place and the darker things she’d been seeing there…
Terry took her arm and led her in, shutting the door behind her. “Ken and Gloria are already here.”
A girl with bright red lips, a long black wig with a center part, and a tight, floor-length black dress stuck her hand out to Alice, fingers dangling. “Morticia Addams, pleased to meet you.”
“Ah, good one,” Alice said. “I’m Evel Knievel.”
“This is my roommate, Stacey,” Terry said, and caught someone’s eye over Alice’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back and we’ll go find the others. I always hate parties where I only know a few people.”
Alice took in the packed room and dancing and wondered how many people Terry knew, and how many parties she’d been to. Must be a college thing. This was the first party Alice had been to in, well, ever. Church picnics and fish fries didn’t count. Of course, she did know every single person at those.
“How did you meet Terry?” Stacey asked, dodging a guy in clown makeup and a dress who sloshed liquid from a cup. “The diner?”
Alice suddenly remembered how Terry had ended up at the lab. She’d taken her roommate’s place.
“The experiment,” she said, quietly.
“How’s that going?” Stacey asked, the words slightly slurred. “Terry never talks about it.”
Hm. Only to Andrew and not to her roommate.
“You didn’t care for it?” Alice said in answer.
“It made me feel out of my brain, and not in the good way.” Stacey shook her head and snorted.
“About like that, then,” Alice said.
Stacey frowned, but Terry reappeared. “This way,” she said and tugged Alice along with her.
The opening guitar licks of the Beatles’ “With a Little Help from My Friends” rang out, and the assembled crowd of astronauts and witches and ghosts and superheroes cheered. When the lyrics started everyone began to sing along spontaneously, about getting by and getting high (louder on that part) with help from friends and needing someone to love.
Alice belted out the lyrics as loud as she could, and, beside her, Terry did the same. The mellow tune and the singing made Alice’s heart feel like it worked better, like the engine of her body was back in good running order for the first time in weeks. She laughed as the song finished, and Terry did too. Then she resumed leading Alice through the crowd. They emerged into a small communal backyard with a picnic table and a bonfire going. The night sky was clear, pinned stars on velvet.
Were parties always like this? Making you regret you’d come one second, then beyond glad that you had the next? Alice had whiplash. At least I’m wearing the right costume for it. Knievel was as famous for getting injured as he was for surviving his crazy stunts.
“Alice!” Ken got up from the picnic table. His hair flowed over his shoulders like normal. He hadn’t bothered to trim his beard in days. He had on a Zeppelin T-shirt and jeans.
“Are you dressed as yourself?” she asked, offended. The nerve of him, coming to a costume party without making any effort.
“It’s okay.” Terry trying to smooth it over, hearing that Alice was serious. It was strange and nice, being understood without having to explain.
“Oh no,” he said
. “I’m supposed to be a narc.”
She squinted. “So you’re a narc in real life, then?”
“No.” Ken laughed, but she didn’t see why that was funny.
“You’re lazy is what you are,” she said.
But she moved past him when she saw Gloria rise from the table and throw out her arms for inspection.
“Now that is a costume!” Alice said, doing a full circle to admire Gloria’s note-perfect Catwoman. The Eartha Kitt version with a slinky, glittery black jumpsuit and a necklace with big gold circles, a belt to match. She had on the cat’s-eye mask and ears and everything.
“Back at you,” Gloria said, smiling at Alice.
Andrew came out to join them. “I hated how Lady Bird threw her under the bus.”
“All she did was speak her mind about the war,” Gloria agreed.
Alice nodded to Andrew. “I like you.”
Andrew handed her the beer can she didn’t want and clinked his against it. “I have a feeling you’re going to be like the little sister I never wanted.”
“No,” Alice said. “Not another brother! That’s the last thing I need.”
Terry put in, “Don’t forget, he has a Barracuda.”
Alice knew when she was beat. “I suppose I can have one more honorary brother.”
She sat down at the picnic table and Ken subtly reached over and slid away her drink. Surprised, she looked over to see his eyebrows raised in question. “Thanks,” she said.
“I’ll get you some water in a bit.”
She forgave him for not wearing a costume.
Terry and Andrew had to go back inside to play hosts, and Alice enjoyed being in the backyard with the only people she knew at the party. As long as she managed not to think about how they knew each other, it was fine.
Alice was surprised that Gloria did accept some kind of drink from Terry when she came back out with a real glass and presented it to her. “I’d never make you drink out of plastic, Catwoman.”