by Doyle, Dawn
My pussy clenched, heat building, feeding my desire as his tongue dipped into my bellybutton. “Maddoc,” I moaned, and lifted my head when he continued south. God, every nerve ending in my body fired up, standing to attention as his hands worked my skirt up my open thighs, his eyes glancing down when my already wet center was exposed to him.
Maddoc’s hungry stare was fixed between my legs, he licked his lips, and slid his fingers through my folds, gathering my juices. I panted hard, arousal sending my adrenaline surging through me, my pulse sending it hurtling to the ends of my fingers and toes.
“Fuck, cupcake, I hope you don’t plan on walking anywhere, because when I’m finished with you, you won’t be able to.”
I watched his head descend, and then his hot lips sealed around my clit. “Holy fuck!”
Chapter 18
Maddoc
“You’re skating like you’re on speed.” Channing said as he circled me. “What the fuck’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “I just got a good nights’ sleep last night.” Fuck, had I. I’d been tangled in Kaia’s arms and legs, her hair over my face, her head on my chest, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It was oddly comfortable, and after I’d listened to her soft snores, I’d stopped forcing myself to stay awake and let sleep pull me under. Then, I’d dreamed about tasting her again, the way she’d cried out as I lapped at her, sucked her clit, pushed my fingers inside to massage the ridged surface of her G-spot… And that had only been the beginning. The past week had been more of the same, watching her falling apart beneath me, above me, in front of me; loving how she looked at me, smiled at me, and I worshiped all of her.
I shifted, definitely not needing a massive boner during training.
Since the weird call from her brothers over a week ago, we hadn’t hidden a goddamn thing from anyone, prompting stares, phones in our direction taking pictures, and a whole lotta whispers about when the hell we’d gotten together.
But, it wasn’t just that. I’d heard a fuck load more than I’d let on, and her words were reeling in my head over and over. I couldn’t say anything to her about it; it wasn’t right. Maddoc Dass didn’t just blurt out shit like that, he did it with flair, with finesse, with… Fuck, I didn’t know, but when I said those words to my girl, I wanted to make sure she knew I meant every fucking syllable, right down to my balls. The timing needed to be right.
“Or a good night,” Channing said, breaking my thoughts with his tongue hanging out as he grinned, his brows pumping up and down. “All damn night.”
My mouth tightened, eyes hardened, and I lowered my stick. “The fuck?”
Channing held up his hands. “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it,” he rushed out. He was a second away from getting my fist to his nose… Again. “I just meant that you and Kaia are getting pretty serious. You’re not exactly keeping it on the DL anymore.”
I shrugged, then pushed away from beside the benched area, ready for more drills. “No need,” I replied, and looked back at him over my shoulder. “Didn’t you hear? Her brothers love me.” Another lie. Fuck, they wanted to kick my ass so bad I could taste it. I just hoped I didn’t screw up, because if I did, I’d fucking let them.
“Come on, dude, we’re on a roll,” Bobby said, nudging me as I skated up beside him. “With us off the bench, and you focused as shit, this is gonna be one hell of a fucking game.”
I nodded, a huge grin plastered on my face. “Man, this is gonna be the game to end all games, I can feel it.”
Bobby chuckled, his head falling back as he did. “Damn, I don’t know happened to make coach bring us back, but I’m not complaining.”
“Me either.” Coach had been secretive about it, only saying that we’d had a great run and he didn’t want us risking the last game over a little fight. That was a fucking joke. I’d planned the entire play as a fucking circus with Trent’s take down the main event. It wasn’t just some ‘little fight.’ Sure, his ass kicking was extra; he said things he shouldn’t. But, Bobby was right, I wasn’t gonna argue with the semantics. I was glad I didn’t have to watch from the sidelines. As the team’s captain and center, it wasn’t a good look, but damn, the reason behind it was necessary and I never once regretted my actions.
“Get your asses moving!” coach bellowed from the benches. “You’ve got two hours of this, so I suggest you pick up the goddamn pace or I’ll add another!”
And that’s exactly what we did.
I looked over my shoulder as I headed toward the center, ready for passes, and smiled, my heart skipping when I saw my girl watching me. She smiled back, winked, then tugged her lower lip between her teeth, making my cock stir. Shit, that never got old.
She lifted her hand, blew me a kiss, then pressed her palm to her heart. I didn’t know if she realized what she’d done, but with the way my chest ached for her, the feeling was definitely reciprocated.
My gut lurched right away, stealing the happiness right out of me. I’d kept something to myself for too long, and I couldn’t keep it from her any more. I just hoped that when I came clean, admitted to what I’d done, she’d understand.
“What’s up? You look like you’ve just been told you’re benched all over again,” Cash said, his voice low so only I could hear.
“I going to tell her, man,” I said, shaking my head, trying to get rid of the building guilt that was giving me a fucking headache. “I can’t keep this shit from her anymore, Cash. Her brothers—”
“Were assholes. You did this, we did this, for a completely different reason to what they were doing,” he assured me. “When you tell her, I bet she’ll be fucking ecstatic.”
“I dunno,” I replied, adrenaline coursing through me as I thought about how Kaia was going to react. I’d meant to do it, to confess when I’d gone over for dinner, but I’d walked in on the semi-argument that had changed my mind. After that, I had to rethink my plan.
“Then don’t tell her,” he suggested with a shrug, and I whipped my head to him. “Only you and I know, and I haven’t said anything, not even to Dar.”
“You don’t understand, Cash. I heard every fucking word she said to her brothers. Every. Word.” And three of those had crushed my heart and resuscitated it at the same time, breathing new life into me. “I did what she hates, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m fucking scared, man. I’m terrified that she’ll do something rash… Like leave.” Fuck, she already knew I’d read Anton’s entries, but that wasn’t the half of it.
Cash slapped me on the back with his gloved hand, just as coach blew the whistle. We readied our sticks, waiting for our passes to come. “Look at her, man.” I did, and what I saw stabbed me in the fucking chest so hard I lost my breath. “You don’t look at someone like that and not have the ability to forgive them for looking out for them.”
“I just hope you’re right,” I replied, pushing back while Jonah raced for me. He slammed the puck toward me, the black disc speeding across the ice. I caught it, spun around, and passed it to Bobby in the defending zone. “Because I’ve never felt anything like this in my fucking life, and I’m not about to give it up.”
Not a fucking chance. But keeping what I did from her, now matter how insignificant it seemed, it was seriously eating away at me.
We speed skated two laps, then switched ends, ready for more passes which were faster than before. “I’m gonna tell her tonight,” I said once Cash and I leveled up. “I’ll tell her everything I did when I saw that journal.”
“Are you gonna mention the real reasons for your other fights?” he asked just as Tanner sent the puck hurtling toward him. He circled around with the biscuit against his blade, then passed off to Burns, one of the junior guys on the team. “Or don’t you want her to know you were pining over her for years?” He shot me a lop-sided grin and pumped his brows. “Oh, Kaia, I’ve loved you since I kissed you in the dark when I didn’t even see your face, or knew who you were.” His imitation of my voice was terrible.
“
That’s the thing,” I huffed out when I used all my strength to send the puck down the center, icing it all the way to Jonah who blocked it with ease. “I knew who she was.”
“You did?”
I turned to glance at Cash, then grinned. I let my gaze slide to my girl, who was beaming at me as Daria talked fast while watching Cash. “Oh, yeah,” I drew out. I flicked my gaze to him once more. “Willow’s a Roosters fan, remember?” Before he could question me again, coach yelled for us to do sprints up and down the rink, then crossovers as we traveled the perimeter, keeping our sticks low to the ice.
Yeah, I’d known who Kaia was, but I’d never given away just how. Fuck, that bit of information could have Kaia looking at me differently, too. If that was a good thing or bad, I was shit scared to find out.
I’m not going to lose her. Not now, not ever.
With that playing on my mind, and my high diminishing with every minute of training, I was exhausted. Sweat covered every inch of my skin, my jersey sticking to me, droplets from my hair cascading down my face and temples, and my pulse thudding hard and fast. I had to get this off my chest soon before it fucking killed me.
***
“Worried about your game?” Kaia asked when we got back from the diner. “You’ve been quiet all through lunch.” She ran her free palm over the back of my hand as she held it while I drove. “Or is it something else?”
Fuck, she knew me too well already. “Yeah,” I lied. “While we were benched, we didn’t continue to train like we should.” I shrugged. “Now that we’re off, we gotta make up for that for the next few days.” And I wondered if during that time I was going to be fighting to keep a relationship I never thought I’d be in, for a woman I’d never thought I’d ever have the chance to be with.
Shit, was I completely insane? Why was I about to sabotage the one thing in my life I was dead certain about? The one thing I’d risk everything for? My limbs, my face, my career?
Yeah, fuck that. Kaia was everything to me. I was going to tell her how I felt, how I had felt for a long fucking time. I just had to make it special for her.
As soon as I get back, I’m gonna do it.
“Well, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” she said, leaning her head on my shoulder. I dipped to kiss her head, then turned my attention back to the road. “You’re amazing, Maddoc Dass, and it’s obvious your team looks up to you.” She tilted her head back and I glanced quickly to her. “They’d do anything for you—I can see that, and I think it’s great you have that support.”
I tried not to shift, but the churning in my stomach had me adjusting myself in my seat. “Yeah, they’re good guys mostly,” I replied. “We just need to keep it up until this weekend, and we’ll be riding high.” My lips tightened as I heard my own words, their double meaning going unnoticed by the woman I loved next to me. Fuck, I was going to miss her when we left.
Kaia brushed her long hair back over her shoulder, then pulled my green hoodie closed. I’d given it to her once we left the diner, the length falling down her thighs. She looked adorable as hell, and all mine. I shifted our joined hands to her legs, stroking the back of my hand up her black leggings.
“The end of the season,” she stated, nodding against my shoulder. “And so much free time. Whatever will we do?”
I grinned, and let out a quiet laugh. “Whatever you want, babe. Anything you want, it’s yours.”
“Take me home,” she whispered, her warm breath in my ear, sending shivers right down to my crotch.
My dick perked up, ready to go in a second. “Right away, cupcake.” I groaned, my cock standing proud in my sweatpants. I hissed when Kaia’s hand moved over the stiff surface, gently stroking me. “Fuuuck.” I growled out in frustration when her hot tongue ran over my earlobe.
“The minute we get back,” she purred, “I’m gonna take away all your stress.”
I pressed my foot down on the gas, hoping that I made it back before I came in my pants.
The minute my bedroom door closed, Kaia took everything from me, my stress, my anxiety, and my ability to think straight. Everything in my head was gone, except for her. As she looked down at me, her hips undulating, her movements quickening with every sharp breath, I knew this woman was my entire world.
Kaia came out of the bathroom, fixing her blue sweater in place, now fully clothed.
I stuck out my lower lip, exaggerating a pout. “Aw, that’s no fun,” I complained. “I don’t even get to see a little bit?”
Kaia flashed a wicked grin, the kind that made my stomach flip. “You’ve just seen everything,” she replied. “But here’s a little reminder.” She gripped the bottom of her sweater, and pulled sharply, showing me the goods, exposing her white bra that I could see through, her dusky nipples on show just for me.
I pressed my hand to my bare chest, her eyes dropping to the area, then ran down my torso. “Baby, you know how to make me happy.” She licked her lips before her gaze moved further down. “Hey, my eyes are up here.”
Kaia giggled and shook her head. “I’m not sorry.”
I got up from my bed, letting the covers fall away, exposing all of me. “Neither am I.” I held her close, dipping my head to press my lips to hers. I tilted my head, taking more, snaking my tongue inside her mouth while my hands smoothed up her back to her head. I pulled back and stared down at her, my chin falling, the words I wanted to tell her close to falling free. I kissed her once more, then released her. “I’ll be right back.” My breath caught in my throat when she smiled up at me.
“I’ll be right here waiting.”
Kaia
Showering together had become a regular thing after leg-trembling sex, but because Maddoc’s coach had wanted the team to get in more training before their big game, they had to be back at the rink, leaving us no time to spend together before the team left for Atlanta. All I was able to do was watch him on TV, cheering from the couch with Daria. I smiled to myself, knowing we already had supplies stocked for a night of sports and missing our guys.
I surveyed his room, my lips curling up when my eyes landed on the beaten up hockey stick on the rack. The chips and cuts in the blue and white surface made it look like it was ready to fall apart.
I ran my finger over the surface of his neat desk, then across the spines of books along the back, pausing when I saw one that looked so out of place. The brown cover looked familiar, the kind I’d seen Anton use, that he was protective over. I was never allowed to see it, like it was some kind of special book that held all his inner thoughts and feelings. I snorted a laugh, wondering if that was his sick little diary of events that he planned by the minute.
I gently tugged it out of its space between an English, and Biology textbook. I turned it over in my hands, smoothing my palm over the plain surface, feeling the groove of the large diamond shape cut in. The spine was creased as though it had been opened hundreds of times, like an old book in the library, thumbed through by tons of people.
A pang stirred inside of me, deep down, poking at me to look further. I couldn’t, though, it wasn’t mine. However, the longer I stared at it, the more my curiosity got the better of me. My heart thudded as I lifted the cover, turning it over to glimpse at the pages inside. The first page was blank, and when I slid that back, I stopped breathing.
Events, classes, scheduled lists… The sharp scratches of checks, highlighted entries with stars next to them, were all written in Anton’s untidy scrawls.
“Oh my God,” I whispered when I saw entries of the dates of where he’d pursued me, the word ‘challenge’ circled under my name as though I was some game to be played. My own schedule stood out, red dots coinciding with the places I’d be, and I recalled the memories of Anton showing up at those precise locations. The dots stopped, showing the time I’d agreed to go on a date with him.
Then, Eleanor’s name, and Sally’s, just a couple of days into the sham of a relationship, that I’d only recently found out he’d done.
I blin
ked fast to clear my blurring vision, hot tears falling down my face. I flipped more, fire blazing inside me, rage flaring up, my hands gripping the journal so tight my fingers ached. Anton had followed me everywhere, trying to get me back, writing down when and where to find me, even documenting how many times I’d asked for my things back.
I balked when I reached the date Maddoc, Cash, and the guys had gone to his dorm to get them, the place where the daily entries stopped.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I whispered when I saw the circled date Anton had shown up at my parents’ house. I tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat, but it was lodged there.
The bathroom door opened and my head whipped up, seeing Maddoc standing there, his eyes bulging as they moved from me, to the book in my hands, then back to my face.
“Babe,” he began, making a move for me. “It’s not—”
I stepped back, snapping the journal shut. I pointed it toward him. “What the fuck, Maddoc?” I spat. “What the hell are you doing with this?”
He held his hands up, shaking them back and forth in time with his head. “Kaia, please, let me explain,” he said softly, taking a careful step toward me.
I moved back, and opened the book again to where it mattered the most, stabbing the entries with my finger. “The dates, the times, they all coincide with the diner, the trips we made, me going to your house, you picking me up…” I flicked the page again. “You were there right before he was, cutting him off.” My chin wobbled, and my vision blurred, clearing when I blinked, releasing the overflowing tears from my lids.
He reached for me, his shoulders dropping, and his brows lifting in the center. “Kaia—”
“You had this the whole time.” I whispered in disbelief. “Why?”
He reached me and gripped me gently, his large hands circling my arms. “Please, babe.”