Liz sipped her water as Rosemary continued her story.
“My mother wanted me to marry Cole Williams. She and his mother had it all figured out. We were to marry and have beautiful blond children. The only problem was—Cole was gay. We were good friends, but marriage was never going to happen. I was in love with someone else. Someone from the wrong side of town, so to speak. He wanted me to run away with him.”
Captivated, Liz encouraged her to continue. “What happened? Did you go with him?”
She smiled as she wiped condensation from her glass with her index finger. “I did, eventually. After your mother died, I left with him. We came up here, and I never looked back. I’ve lived all this time with no family. Miguel and I didn’t have children. Now we’re growing old together as we’d wanted, but lately, as the years unfold, I think about what’s missing. What do you give up when you turn away from your family? Is it the life you want? Perhaps. But at what cost? Are those of us without family rootless? Without ties that would sustain us in old age?” She unfolded her napkin and ran her fingers along the edge. “I couldn’t stay. Not after what happened. I had to leave. For my own sanity and to have the life I wanted with Miguel. I believed then, and I believe now, it was better for your mother.”
“Why?” Liz whispered. Her heart thumped a hundred miles an hour in her chest. She wiped the palms of her hands on the cloth napkin in her lap.
“You are right to be suspicious about my family. Your grandmother was in danger. She was killed by the family. Just not in the way you think.” She glanced at the bar as if she yearned for a drink. “I was up half the night trying to decide what to tell you about the night Marcia died. As of the moment you walked in, I still wasn’t sure.”
“The truth’s always better,” Liz said. “Did they murder her?”
“No. Your grandmother’s death was an accident. It was not the flu, however, like they told everyone. The truth is…your mother killed her.”
“What? How is that possible? She was eight years old.”
“Like I said, it was an accident. Marcia was in the bath and Karen dropped a hair dryer into the water. She was electrocuted.”
Liz stared at her. “A hair dryer? On?”
“That’s the story.”
“Electrocuted.” Black dots blurred her vision.
“They covered it up. Bought off the coroner’s office.”
“I can’t believe it. My mother said it was the flu,” Liz said.
“That’s what they told everyone, including your mother.”
“My God. Poor Mother,” Liz said.
“My parents and Warren felt strongly that she must never know. They hired someone to hypnotize her. I have no idea if it worked or not. I left after that. I couldn’t stand to be in the same house with them any longer. I begged them to send Karen someplace where they could help her understand that it was an accident and that she mustn’t feel guilty. But they refused. They thought the best thing was to pretend it never happened, to continue to tell her she died of the flu, hoping that she would never remember.”
Liz sat stunned as the server brought their food. Had they ordered? She couldn’t remember. There was no way she could eat.
“George, will you bring a glass of brandy for me, please?” Rosemary asked.
“White wine for me,” Liz said. “I don’t think Mother remembers. I’m a prosecutor, and I can usually tell when someone’s evasive. When we ask Mother about her childhood, she says she doesn’t remember anything before her mother’s death. Like it’s just a complete blank.” She gasped, suddenly remembering what her mother had said at dinner the other night. “You know what she told us, though? She said when she thinks of her mother she remembers white tile and a bathtub, one of the old-fashioned ones with the feet.”
Rosemary complexion turned ashen. “Yes. That’s right. That’s what the bathroom looked like.”
“She’s probably repressed it all.”
“Yes, and the question is—would it be better for her to know or stay blissfully in the dark?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Grant
AFTER GETTING LIZZIE off to the airport, Grant headed to Mike’s, arriving around noon. What a difference a day can make. Hands dry. Not worried about what I’m wearing.
Mike opened the door and grabbed Grant in a quick embrace. “Come on in. The boys and Sharon are out on the patio.” Already Mike’s scent was familiar to him. He smelled like home.
Two men and an attractive woman in her late fifties sat under an umbrella. One man was slight and tan with hair bleached almost white. He wore long shorts and a t-shirt with a picture of a surfboard on the back. Zac. He lives at the beach and owns a surf shop. The other young man stood. He wore khaki shorts and a light blue, short-sleeved, button-down shirt appropriate for a golf course. With brown hair trimmed short and his face clean-shaven, he looked like he belonged at a country club rather than a ranch like his father. The doctor.
Mike wrapped his arm around Grant’s shoulder. “Zac and Todd, this is Grant.”
Zac rose from the table and grinned at him as he held out his hand. “Dude, great to meet you,” Zac said. “What a trip, right?”
“It certainly is.” Zac had the essence of a boy, guileless and fun-loving. Like Peter Pan, perhaps he had never grown up? Lizzie would not approve.
Todd came forward and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Grant.”
They shook hands. “You too,” Grant said. “I appreciate you guys coming down on such short notice.”
“It’s no trouble.” Todd smiled, but his eyes were more guarded than his brother’s. It could go either way. He was either shy or not thrilled to suddenly have a long-lost brother.
“It’s not every day you find out you have a new brother.” Zac’s eyes twinkled mischievously.
“No, it doesn’t happen every day,” Grant said.
“And this is my Sharon,” Mike said.
Grant kissed Sharon on the cheek. “Nice to meet you. Thank you for having me in your home.”
“Now don’t you start being formal on us,” Mike said. “This is your home too.”
Sharon gave his hand a squeeze. “We’re delighted you’re here.”
They all took seats at the table, under the merciful shade of the umbrella. Grant took a deep breath. He couldn’t seem to get enough air in his lungs. Temperatures were in the low eighties, but the air felt dense and humid. Different from the dry heat of the day before. Sharon poured him a glass of iced tea.
Mike held up his glass of tea. “Let’s have a toast. To new family.”
They all clinked glasses. Grant was thrilled that Zac seemed to have inherited the gift of conversation from their father because he launched into stories of his life in California. His small surf shop sold everything from boards to bikinis. “You ever go to a place and just think, hey man, this is where I belong? That’s how I felt the moment I landed in Macy. It’s south of Santa Cruz and has the same vibe. Crunchy and low key. Sunny skies most of the year and waves to die for. So I surf and run the shop and feel like it’s where I’m supposed to be. Just took a trip to rehab to knock a little sense into me. I’m sure Dad told you about that?”
“Yes. He mentioned it,” Grant said. The small of his back was damp with sweat.
“Best thing that ever happened to me even though I went kicking and screaming. Fixed a lot that was wrong with my life.” He ran a hand through his bleached hair. “It wasn’t only about getting clean. This place I went to was the best. They forced me to deal with my shit. Like head on, dude. All the stuff in my past I hadn’t dealt with—they were just in my face. Talk about it. Examine it. Trust the process. At the end of the day, it’s about healing and forgiveness. Forgiving myself—and that’s tough when you lived the way I did and hurt so many people. I hated myself for what I put Dad through, but you can’t hold on to that forever. Especially when the person you hurt has already forgiven you.” He flashed his Peter Pan smile on Mike.
“I’m
glad you’re happy, son. That’s all a parent wants. I never stopped believing in you. The drugs and booze were not you.”
“Amen to that, Dad.” Zac put his hands toward the sky. “I surrendered to God, and He takes care of me every day. That’s a big part of the program, Grant. Never thought I’d be a church guy, but there you go. Life never turns out the way we expect it to.”
“Honey, I love that you’ve found the church,” Sharon said.
Zac grinned. Grant had an image of Peter Pan fighting off Captain Hook. His demons. But he’d won. “Thanks, Sharon. I love that my dad found you.” He slapped the table. “And listen to this. I’m getting hitched in a few months. This cute little surfer girl came in last summer for a new board. Didn’t take me more than a minute to figure out she could be my future. Fortunately, she agreed to a first date.”
“He took her surfing,” Todd said, smiling at his brother. “If I was cool like that, I might have the courage to ask a woman out.”
Sharon patted his hand. “You’ve hardly had time with medical school. Now that you’re done, you’ll have more time for a personal life.”
“Sharon, you think too highly of my abilities.” Todd shrugged as he wiped condensation off his glass. “I’m not the greatest when it comes to social stuff.” He turned toward Grant. “Women befuddle and tongue-tie me.”
“I haven’t had the best luck with women either,” Grant said. He shared the story of his divorce and Liz.
“So, wait a minute. Liz is here in River Valley? Like now?” Zac asked. “That’s truly weird stuff, right?”
“It’s weird,” Grant said.
“Like it’s meant to be,” Sharon said.
“She pushes herself too hard. This vacation was meant to be a rest for her. But now she’s off chasing a fifty-year-old mystery,” Grant said. He went on to explain about the Lola and the letters. “She left this morning to track down her grandfather’s sister.”
“Why’s it so important to her, do you think?” Sharon asked.
“She can’t stand not knowing how a story ends,” Grant said. “A mystery of any kind has to be figured out. It’s what makes her a great lawyer.”
“She’s inquisitive and curious,” Mike said. “No wonder she’s been so successful.”
“I worry about her, though,” Grant said. “And selfishly, I want to have a chance for us to build our relationship. Which means I need time with her.”
“You want her to slow down,” Sharon said. She glanced over at her husband. “I can relate.”
“Hey now, we’re not talking about me right now,” Mike said, winking at her.
“I find it fascinating that both of you ended up here searching for a connection to your past,” Todd said.
“I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re right.” Grant locked eyes with Todd. “I just don’t know what it means for us.”
“Why?” Sharon asked.
“Because I think I want to live here,” Grant said. “And I don’t know how Lizzie’s going to feel about that.”
Everyone around the table stared at him.
“Live here?” Mike said. “In River Valley?”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I haven’t been happy in L.A. for a long time. Maybe ever. I can open a practice here. I’ll have to pass the Oregon bar, but that shouldn’t be too hard. I can still take cases in California if I want to. There are airplanes and the internet. I can work from anywhere.”
“But why here?” Todd asked.
“A couple reasons.” Grant’s face burned. Be honest. Be vulnerable. “One, I feel a connection to this place that goes beyond logic—like I belong here. I felt it the minute I arrived. Second, and more importantly, I want the chance to get to know my dad. And the rest of my family. I want to marry Lizzie and raise a family here…with you guys.”
Sharon’s wiped under her eyes. Mike’s mouth hung open, as if he meant to speak but forgot what he was going to say. Zac and Todd were nodding their heads. Did they understand?
Zac spoke first. “Dude, I get it. If you feel a connection to a place and people, that’s as good as it gets. The rest is just noise.”
“It would be good to leave the rat race,” Todd said. “I can understand that completely. There are days when I think about moving back here and starting a little practice. Keeping it simple.”
“You do?” Mike asked.
“I’m a few years from forty.” Todd shrugged and picked up his glass, clinking the leftover ice. “Things look different than they did when I was younger. I’m alone with nothing but my work to fulfill me. At some point, you realize there’s an emptiness that can only be filled by family.”
Mike scratched under his chin while shaking his head. “Well, in a million years I never saw this one coming.”
“What if Lizzie doesn’t want to stay?” Sharon asked.
“Then I’ll go back to L.A. with her,” Grant said. “Lizzie’s my home. I’ve wasted ten years without her already. I won’t do that again. I just hope she feels the same way about this place as I do.”
**
After lunch, Grant and Todd changed into their swimming trunks and walked down to the river. Hot by the time they arrived, they both tore off their shirts and dove into the water. When he was sufficiently refreshed, Grant collapsed on the sandy beach. A few minutes later, Todd joined him.
Neither man spoke for a moment. Grant had a million questions, but he wasn’t sure Todd was up for answering questions. He needn’t have worried. Todd began to speak.
“Has my dad told you much about my mother?” Todd asked.
“Not really, no.”
“She was one of those women who should have never had children. At least in my opinion. When she left him for the final time, she went off to Florida. Right away she met this rich, older guy. She married him within months of the divorce being final. I was already at college then, so Zac felt it much more keenly.”
“I’m sorry,” Grant said. The words tasted of nothing in his mouth. Salty and useless.
“Thanks. From what Dad told me, it sounds like you weren’t exactly given the lottery on parents either.”
“That’s one way to put it.” Grant paused, collecting his thoughts. “I could never figure out why my dad hated me. Now that I know the truth, everything’s making a lot more sense.”
“I’m going out on a limb here,” Todd said. “But if you’re anything like me, rejection from a parent messed you up pretty good.”
“I’m just learning how much,” Grant said. “Only took me thirty-four years to start figuring some things out.”
“I hear you.” Todd picked up a pebble and tossed it into the river. “If Dad had known about you, I can guarantee you he would have wanted you. He’s not perfect—no one is—but he comes pretty darn close. He was a great father. I hope you’ll have the chance to have what I’ve had. Everyone deserves to have a father that loves them.”
“And a mother,” Grant said.
“Yes indeed. When we were young, we were a little lacking in the mother department, but Dad did his best to fill the gap. The thing with my mother is that she was perpetually restless and unhappy. She hated living here, although she loved Dad’s money. All my life, I tried to morph into something that would make her happy.”
“That sounds familiar,” Grant said. “I didn’t understand at the time that my mother was depressed. I thought it was my fault that she was unhappy and my dad was so angry.”
“When my dad married Sharon, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. They hadn’t known each other long, and my dad has a lot of money. But it’s been a great thing for our family. She never had kids, but she always wanted them. I guess what I’m trying to say is that families find one another in odd ways. I’d really like to get to know you better, and I hope you’ll spend some more time with my dad. He’s devastated that he didn’t know you. He’d do anything to gain that time back.”
“Me too. I can’t help but think what I would have been like if he’d bee
n my father. How different I’d be.” How I might not have messed up with Lizzie.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Liz
LIZ CALLED GRANT from the San Francisco airport. He didn’t answer, so she left a message telling him what she’d learned and that she was taking a quick overnight trip back to L.A. to investigate further.
When she arrived, she took a cab straight to her parents’ home, texting her mother on the way that she was in town briefly for work but wanted to stop by for a quick visit.
Are you home this afternoon?
Her mother replied with several question marks and a yes, she was home. The cab dropped her off at her parent’s gate. After paying, she used the code to get through their gate and walked up the driveway. Their neighborhood was quiet, with all the homes hidden behind gates with long driveways.
She didn’t bother to knock. The door was unlocked. She found her mother in the kitchen. “Hi, Mother.”
“Liz, you’re looking like a different person than a few days ago. The sun and rest have done wonders.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “But why are you here? I know it isn’t work.”
“Well, first, I want to tell you about Peggy. She’s landed a temporary chef position and has decided to stay in River Valley indefinitely. Lola said she could live with her as long as she wants.”
“In River Valley? Has she lost her mind?”
“Mother, she’s blossoming there. She and Lola are two peas in a pod.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “Lola. Always such a scatterbrain.” She gestured toward the refrigerator. “It’s almost wine time. Would you care for any?”
“Sure.”
Her mother poured them both a glass of white wine. They took it into the sitting room. “What else brings you here, Liz?”
“I went to see Rosemary,” Liz said.
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