CHAPTER ELEVEN.
The Honourable Captain Delmar was now a frequent visitor to my mother,and a good customer to the library. He did, however, generally contrivethat his visit should be paid late in the afternoon, just after themarine officers had retired to dress for dinner; for he was a veryhaughty personage, and did not think it proper for any officers of aninferior grade to come "between the wind and his nobility."
I cannot say that I was partial to him; indeed, his pomposity, as Iconsidered it, was to me a source of ridicule and dislike. He took morenotice of me than he did of anybody else; but he appeared to considerthat his condescending patronage was all that was necessary; whereas,had he occasionally given me a half-crown I should have cherished betterfeelings towards him: not that I wanted money, for my mother supplied mevery liberally, considering my age: but although you may coax andflatter a girl into loving you, you cannot a boy, who requires moresubstantial proofs of your good-will.
There were a great many remarks not very flattering to my mother, madebehind her back, as to her former intimacy with Captain Delmar; for,somehow or another, there always is somebody who knows something,wherever doubts or surmises arise, and so it was in this case; but ifpeople indulged in ill-natured remarks when she was not there, they didnot in her presence; on the contrary, the friendship of so great a manas the Honourable Captain Delmar appeared rather to make my mother aperson of more consequence.
She was continually pointing out to me the propriety of securing thegood will of this great personage, and the more she did so, the more Ifelt inclined to do the reverse; indeed, I should have broke out intoopen mutiny, if it had not been for Captain Bridgeman, who sided with mymother, and when I went to him to propose playing another trick upon thenoble captain, not only refused to aid me, but told me, if I everthought of such a thing, he would never allow me to come to his roomsagain.
"Why, what good can he do to me?" inquired I.
"He may advance you properly in life--who knows?--he may put you on thequarter-deck, and get you promoted in the service."
"What, make a middy of me?"
"Yes, and from a midshipman you may rise to be a post-captain, oradmiral,--a much greater rank than I shall ever obtain," said CaptainBridgeman; "so take my advice, and do as your mother wishes; be verycivil and respectful to Captain Delmar, and he may be as good as afather to you."
"That's not saying much," replied I, thinking of my father Ben; "I'drather have two mothers than two fathers." And here the conversationended.
I had contracted a great alliance with Mr Dott, the midshipman, whofollowed Captain Delmar about, just as Bob used to follow me, andgenerally remained in the shop or outside with me, when his captaincalled upon my mother. He was a little wag, as full of mischief asmyself, and even his awe of his captain, which, as a youngster in theservice, was excessive, would not prevent him from occasionally breakingout. My mother took great notice of him, and when he could obtain leave(which, indeed, she often asked for him), invited him to come to ourhouse, when he became my companion during his stay; we would sally outtogether, and vie with each other in producing confusion and mirth atother people's expense; we became the abhorrence of every oldfruit-woman and beggar in the vicinity.
Captain Delmar heard occasionally of my pranks, and looked very majesticand severe; but as I was not a middy, I cared little for his frowns. Atlast an opportunity offered which I could not resist; and, not daring tomake known my scheme either to Captain Bridgeman or Aunt Milly, Iconfided it to Tommy Dott, the little middy, who, regardless of theconsequences, joined me in it heart and soul.
The theatre had been opened at Chatham, and had met with indifferentsuccess. I went there once with my aunt Milly, and twice with Mr Dott;I, therefore, knew my _locale_ well. It appeared that one of the femaleperformers, whose benefit was shortly to take place, was very anxious toobtain the patronage of Captain Delmar, and, with the usual tact ofwomen, had applied to my mother in the most obsequious manner,requesting her to espouse her cause with the gallant captain.
My mother, pleased with the idea of becoming, as it were, a patronessunder the rose, did so effectually exert her influence over the captain,that, in a day or two afterwards, play-bills were posted all over thetown, announcing that the play of _The Stranger_, with the farce of_Raising the Wind_, would be performed on Friday evening, for thebenefit of Miss Mortimer under the patronage of the Honourable CaptainDelmar, and the officers of his Majesty's ship Calliope. Of course thegrateful young lady sent my mother some tickets of admission, and two ofthem I reserved for Tommy Dott and myself.
Captain Delmar had made a large party of ladies, and of course all theofficers of the ship attended: the house was as full as it could hold.My mother and aunt were there in a retired part of the boxes; Tommy Dottand I entered the theatre with them, and afterwards had gone up to whatis, at the theatres at seaports, usually denominated the slips, that is,the sides of the theatre on the same range as the gallery. There wasCaptain Delmar with all his ladies and all his officers, occupyingnearly the whole of the side of the dress circle below us, we havingtaken our position above him, so that we might not be observed.
The performance commenced. Miss Mortimer, as _Mrs Haller_, was veryeffective; and in the last scene was compelling the eyes of the companyto water, when we thought we would produce a still greater effect.
We had purchased a pound of the finest Scotch snuff, which we hadenclosed in two pasteboard cases, similar in form to those of squibs,only about six times the size, and holding half a pound of snuff each.Our object was, in doing this, that, by jerking it all out with a heave,we might at once throw it right into the centre of the theatre above, sothat in its descent it might be fairly distributed among all parties.
There was no one in the slips with us, except midshipmen, and adescription of people who would consider it a good joke, and never wouldpeach if they perceived we were the culprits.
At a signal between us, just as _Mrs Haller_ was giving a paper to herhusband did we give our shower of snuff to the audience, jerking itright across the theatre. In a few minutes the effect was prodigious;Captain Delmar's party being right beneath us, probably received agreater share, for they commenced sneezing fast, then the boxes on theother side, the pit followed, and at last _Mr and Mrs Haller_ and the_Stranger_ were taken with such a fit of sneezing that they could nolonger talk to each other.
The children were brought out to their parents to effect theirreconciliation, but they did nothing but sneeze, poor things; and atlast the uproar was tremendous, and the curtain was dropped, not to loudplaudits, but to loud sneezings from every part of the theatre.
Never was there anything so ludicrous; the manager sent officers up todiscover the offenders but no one could tell who had played the trick;he then came before the curtain to make a speech upon the occasion, but,having sneezed seven or eight times, he was obliged to retire with hishandkerchief to his nose; and the audience, finding it impossible tocheck the titillation of the olfactory nerves, abandoned the theatre asfast as they could, leaving the farce of _Raising the Wind_ to beperformed to empty beaches.
I hardly need say, that as soon as we had thrown the snuff, Mr Dott andI had gone down and taken our places very demurely in the box by theside of my mother, and appeared just as astonished, and indeed added asmuch as possible to the company of sneezers.
Captain Delmar was very furious at this want of respect of certainparties unknown, and had we been discovered, whatever might have been myfate, it would have gone hard with Tommy Dott; but we kept our owncounsel, and escaped.
That I was suspected by Aunt Milly and Captain Bridgeman is certain, andmy aunt taxed me with it, but I would not confess; my mother also hadher suspicions, but as Captain Delmar had none, that was of noconsequence.
The success of this trick was a great temptation to try another or twoupon the noble captain. He was, however saved by the simple fact ofH.M. ship Calliope being reported manned and ready for sea; orders weresent down for
his going round to Portsmouth to await the commands of theLords Commissioners of the Admiralty, and Captain Delmar came to pay hisfarewell visit.
The report from the schoolmaster had been very favourable and CaptainDelmar then asked me, for the first time, if I would like to be asailor. As Captain Bridgeman had advised me not to reject any goodoffer on the part of the honourable captain, I answered in theaffirmative; whereupon the captain replied, that if I paid attention tomy learning, in a year's time he would take me with him on board of hisfrigate.
He then patted my head, forgot to give me half a crown, and, shakinghands with my mother and aunt, quitted the house, followed by TommyDott, who, as he went away, turned and laughed his adieu.
I have not mentioned my grandmother lately. The fact is, that whenCaptain Delmar made his appearance, for some cause or another, which Icould not comprehend, she declared her intention of going away andpaying a visit to her old acquaintances at the Hall. She did so. As Iafterwards found out from what I overheard, she had a very greataversion to the noble captain: but the cause of her aversion was nevercommunicated to me. Soon after the sailing of the Calliope, she againmade her appearance, took her old seat in the easy-chair, and resumedher eternal knitting as before.
Percival Keene Page 11