"It was pretty ugly," I said. "Victor knew he was in love with Samantha but he wanted to marry Alexa…even though she'd almost killed MacKenzie's wolfhound…on purpose! But we got Victor straightened out in the end. Now Sam wears his silver wristband."
Malarkey let out a low whistle. "What about Force?"
"During shipment, he was separated from the pack with Chaos and Courage. He ended up in the city of Denver where he ran into Camie. She helped him to get by."
I told my friend how Camie had traded her "favors" for a lift to Boulder so she could reach Force after he'd been taken prisoner by the Olanders. And how Force—after his rescue—had offered up his sword in place of Camie's promise.
"His sword!" Malarkey exclaimed, an incredulous look on his face. "But he loved that damn thing. He never went anywhere without it."
"I know," I snickered. "It was always getting in the way while we were working—whacking someone in the head or poking someone else in the side. But he wouldn't take it off and he wouldn't put it down. Not even for a minute."
"He wanted to be a knight," Malarkey mused.
I nodded. "The days of knighthood are long gone," I said.
"Are they?" Malarkey asked, clearly surprised.
"Well, not completely," I answered. "But nowadays you generally have to make some sort of economic contribution to England if you're to become a knight."
"That's not so far different than in the past," he remarked wisely.
Finally, I got to Courage's story. While Malarkey listened, I described how Courage had been bitten by a rattlesnake out on the plains of Colorado. How the snake's venom had healed his ruined face and how it had saved him from a lifetime of imprisonment and servitude. "His venom killed Olivia Olander. She was otherwise immune to gargoyle venom but his was tainted with the rattlesnake poison."
"Sounds like a close call."
"It was," I answered.
"And you say this Lorissa is a bad witch?" he asked, frowning.
"Aye. But she's the best kind of bad witch."
Malarkey tilted his head and challenged me with a sharp look. "How could that be?"
"She came upon her powers accidentally. She made some bad wishes when she was a young girl."
"So you reckon this Lorissa is alright?"
I flipped through the pictures in my mind's eye and saw Lorissa blowing the bars off our cages in that bunker, attacking the harpies on the fringes of the battle that followed, picking them off one by one. "Lorissa's definitely alright," I answered quietly.
And as I rambled on, I found that talking Malarkey through the chapters of my life was almost therapeutic. Because even though there didn't appear to be a happy ending in sight for me, it was nice to be reminded that so many of my cousins' and brothers' stories had ended well. I've always been a sucker for happy endings. And when I was done, I felt better about life in general.
"And what about you?" he asked. "What has your life been like in this new century?"
"I've made a lot of new friends," I answered, wishing I had more positive news to report. "But Malarkey…"
"What?" he asked, sensing the change in my mood. "What is it?"
"What…can you tell me about my mother?"
A look of sorrow shadowed his eyes. "Have you worried about her all these eight hundred years?"
"A little," I admitted.
He swept an arm around my shoulders and tugged me close. "Of course, she worried when you didn't come home that night. But she never thought you were dead. She didn't believe all nine of you could have been captured or killed. So she assumed you had all turned to stone together. And she was convinced that you'd be fine…one day."
"That's…a great relief to me," I murmured. "But how did she fare? Was she…alone for the rest of her life?"
"As a matter of fact, she eventually married my father and became part of my family. My pack."
I pulled in a deep breath that had been eight hundred years in the waiting. And let it out in a great rush of relief. Malarkey had lost his mother when he was a boy. So my mother wouldn't have shared the sort of connection with Malarkey's father that she had shared with my father. But she would have found love and happiness with her new family. "And you? What did you do after we were gone?"
He shrugged. "I looked for you. And killed harpies. And one day I learned from a harpy that nine young gargoyles had been trapped where the sun couldn't reach them. I assumed it was you and your family. But the harpy didn't know where you were. She said the harpies that had known…"
"…were dead," I finished for him.
"I'd killed them," he said mournfully. "They were the first ones to die."
I shook my head and we laughed together.
The sun beat down on us and spread its warmth through my bones as my gaze wandered across the craggy green landscape. "But what are you doing here in this lonely godforsaken place?"
"Why, waiting for you, of course."
"Waiting for me? For all these centuries?" I looked around at the empty countryside. "But what made you think I might come here?"
He swept his arm behind him, into the cave. "This is the place where Dare was trapped for two years. He must have told you about the treasure. I thought you might come a-raiding one day. And I was right, wasn't I? You came back for the treasure."
I looked over my shoulder at the dusty mound in the back of the cave. Here and there, a glimmer of gold could be seen, or the momentary wink of a gemstone. But for the most part, the treasure was hidden beneath a thick layer of dust that had gathered over the last eight centuries.
"Nay," I answered soberly. "I came to tell you about your daughter."
"Daughter?" he said, his eyes narrowing as he shook his head uncertainly. Then he remembered. I saw the light come dawning in his eyes. "Did…you have to kill her?" he asked, his gaze troubled.
"Nay," I answered. "It wasn't like that. She saved me. My family. And Sophie."
"Sophie?" he asked sharply.
"The lass I love."
"Ahhh," he murmured in a drawn-out breath. "And my daughter helped you?"
I swallowed hard. "Aye."
Malarkey sighed. "Her mother was like that."
"Her mother was…good?"
"She helped me to free my brothers from her gang."
"And you gave her your rune in return?"
"Nay," he answered. "Gretschka wouldn't take from me what I didn't want to give. She asked only for children before I left her to come here."
I nodded and waited for him to go on.
"It was she who told me about the nine gargoyles who had been trapped. It was the first real news I'd had in years. And as our friendship grew, I told her stories about you and your family."
"You told her our names," I said.
"Aye."
"And she passed those names down to her daughter."
He turned his head and caught my eye. "Did she?"
"Aye."
"And what was my daughter's name?"
"Mitschka," I answered quietly. "You would have been proud of her. She fought like a demon at my side. I gave her my rune…just before she died."
"Ahhh," he said in a long breath that was not without pain. "But you shouldn't have done that, Havoc. Not for my daughter's help. Not for her friendship. Your rune should only be given for love."
"It was love…of a kind. And I don't regret it."
He was quiet for the next several moments. "But now that your rune is given, you think you have nothing to give your Sophie."
I looked off into the west, and my gaze tracked a truck moving on the distant road. "How did you know?"
"I know you," he answered quietly. "But you're wrong about this, Havoc. You have your love to give her. All of your love for the rest of your life."
"I know what you're saying," I murmured. "But it doesn't seem like enough. I don't seem like enough."
"Why don't you let Sophie decide if it's enough?" he said. "If she's worth your love, she'll have you, and gladly."
> "Worth my love?" I exclaimed softly, thinking that Malarkey didn't understand—and couldn't possibly understand—that I was the unworthy party in this relationship fiasco. I struggled to explain. "Sophie's more than worthy. She's…everything to me. She's good and kind but she's never a pushover. She stands up for herself and stands up to me. She's strong and competitive. She's loyal and fearlessly brave. She's smart and funny. She loved me! And what did I do in return? I hurt her, Malarkey."
Malarkey shook his head like he didn't understand.
"I should have been there for her when she was growing up. Instead, I hid away in my stone form, telling myself I was doing the right thing. But I could have done better for her. I could have stayed in my living form and been true to her for four years instead of just giving up and deciding it would be too hard to resist my attraction to other girls. So I went stone. It was a cop out," I finished angrily.
"But she still loves you."
"Aye," I sighed. "How did you know that?"
"She'd be crazy not to," he laughed. "Go back to Sophie. Go back to love."
I blinked a few times and lifted my eyes, watching a far-off cloud scud across the sky. "Listen to you, banging on about love," I said with a snort of laughter. "What do you know about it?"
"More than you think," he answered. "More than you know."
"But I've never once seen you with a girl," I argued, bringing my gaze back to his face.
"That's because I never loved a girl." He took a deep breath. "I loved a boy," he said softly. "A boy with pale green eyes and a long tangle of bronze hair."
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I stared at Malarkey. "I…didn't know," I finally said.
He nodded and searched my face. "Would it have made a difference?"
"Nay," I answered slowly, feeling sad for the young man I loved so much. "I'm not that…metro."
Of course, he'd never heard the expression before, but he understood my meaning. He was quiet for a long time.
"Come back with me," I said into the silence. "The pack shares a big mansion in the New Country with plenty of room. Come and be a part of our family. Camie has a…friend. You might fancy each other."
"He wouldn't be you," Malarkey pointed out quietly.
"He might be better," I argued with a grin, and elbowed him in the ribs.
He tilted his head and slanted a look at me. "Could you stand by and watch Sophie with someone else?"
"Nay," I answered soberly.
"Then you know why I can't come back with you."
I nodded and searched the countryside again, trying to find an answer in the rise and fall of the land. My voice was tight when I finally spoke. "I hate to leave you here, alone. Without anything. Without anyone."
"I'm not alone," he argued with a soft smile, his eyes traveling over my face like he was memorizing my features. "I live with my love for you."
"But I'm not here," I pointed out, my voice hoarse with emotion.
Malarkey turned his peaceful gaze on the panoramic view. "You don't have to be here for me to love you."
I might have been unhappy if he had shown any trace of sorrow. But he was at peace…and had been for the last eight hundred years. It seemed strange—Malarkey living alone with his love for so long, waiting for me to return, only to be disappointed. But he was always a strong one.
I vaulted to my feet and reached down for his hand, pulling him up beside me. On the back of the map Dare had given me, I drew a new map, pointing the way to Colorado. "Promise me you'll come and see me…one day. Even if it's when I'm old."
"I will," he said solemnly. "I'll come for your wedding. Send word."
"And…if there is no wedding?"
"I'll come…one day."
I grasped his arm and pulled him close, pressing my lips against his a long moment. "I love you, Mal."
"I love you too," he answered roughly. "Though perhaps not in the same way."
I understood what he was saying. Even though I loved Malarkey and couldn't imagine loving him any more (or less) than I already did…my love for Sophie was bigger. But as I stood there looking at his face, I wondered if the ways of love were perhaps not so different. And only came in different measures.
"Hang on," he said suddenly, and turned toward the pile of treasure at the back of the cave. Crouching down, he picked something up and returned to my side. "Here," he said, pushing two gold objects into my hands. "These pieces are especially nice."
I stared down at the beautiful work and turned it in my hands. There was a fine old crown, and what looked like a scepter with only a few stones missing. "These…are amazing. Where do you reckon they came from?"
He shrugged. "Remember the story of King John losing his crown jewels in The Wash?"
"Aye," I answered vaguely.
"I think these pieces might be from his missing treasure."
"They must be worth a fortune," I murmured, thinking they'd go a long way toward buying the ranch we all had our hearts set on.
"I hope so," he answered with a grin. "I'm expecting my own room when I come to visit."
I lifted the heavy weight in my hands. "This should be enough to get you your own house."
We parted with a final hug. I left my old friend in his stone form, perched at the edge of the aerie.
The flight back to Colorado seemed longer than the flight out. But I had done what I'd set out to do. I'd seen Malarkey and discharged my obligation to Mitch. But what next? What was I going to do with the rest of my life? I wasn't sure I could take Malarkey's advice and give Sophie my love…without my rune.
I mulled it over while I was sitting on the plane.
"But you can always tattoo your rune onto her arm," MacKenzie had argued before I'd left on my quest.
"Just try it," Defiance had growled.
But it wouldn't be the same. It would be an empty gesture for me. And every time I saw my mark on her arm, it would remind me that we didn't have the sort of connection that other gargoyles shared with their lasses. It would be worse than no rune at all. I couldn't do it.
And that was my firm opinion when Sophie visited a week after my return to Colorado.
There was a bounce in her step when she walked into my room—an unshakeable confidence that I hadn't seen in her for a while. But it looked good on Sophie. It looked…natural.
"Hey," I said, trying to match her cheerfulness as I pushed out of my chair. "What are you doing here?"
"MacKenzie told me you were back."
I opened my arms and lifted my hands. "Here I am," I agreed.
"Did you see your friend?"
"Aye. It was great. I found out about my mother…who married Malarkey's father a few years after we disappeared. It was wonderful to know she wasn't alone and hadn't suffered too terribly. She never believed we were dead."
Sophie waited for more.
"I'm glad I went," I told her, and stuffed my hands in my pockets.
"Good!" she answered brightly.
"I told Malarkey about his daughter, Mitch. He was very proud to hear news of her. He thought he might come back here one day…to see her…and the rest of us. But what's new with you?"
"I broke up with Ian," she said point-blank, and without a trace of regret.
I tilted my head and searched her face. "Are you sure that was…wise."
"I don't love him," she said matter-of-factly. "I love you."
I stared at her for several long moments, trapped between moving forward and holding back. And despite the advice of everyone who loved me…holding back won. "And I…I'm not sure when I'll be ready to love you back," I told her.
She shrugged. "I can wait. You waited four years for me. I figure that's the least I can do for you."
"But in four years you'll be…"
"Twenty," she filled in. "Halfway through college. I'll be going to CU Boulder like the rest of the pack lasses."
"But what if you meet someone else?"
"That won't happen," she answered. "We made a solemn
vow together. And I'm going to keep my end of the bargain."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You waited for me to grow up. Now I'm going to wait for you to do the same."
Alright, so that was mildly insulting and I'm sure she meant it to be. "And if I never love you back?" I asked with a mocking snort. "Are you prepared to be alone for the rest of your life?"
Her answer made the hairs lift on the back of my neck. Because she said something that sounded so much like Malarkey, it was downright eerie. "I'll never be alone as long as I have my love for you," she said.
I couldn't find a response to that. I was just so stunned.
"I think you're the one who's alone, Havoc. This house is full of people who love you. I love you. Yet somehow you've recently managed to isolate yourself from affection. And as far as I can tell, it's mostly because of your rune. Which is nothing more than a symbol. Are you going to let a symbol trip you up for the rest of your life? Or could you possibly find a new symbol? Maybe you could find a symbol that means more than Havoc. Maybe you could find a symbol that means love, and latch onto that. Didn't Defiance give Whitney a gold pendant back when she was sixteen?"
"Aye," I muttered, not certain where she was going with this.
"And did that pendant represent Defiance's rune or his love?"
A defensive growl started to build in my chest. She didn't understand. She couldn't possibly understand. A gargoyle is driven by instinct. And with my rune given away, there was a huge part of me missing. "Both," I answered.
"Well, if you can't give me your love without giving me your rune, I'm not sure your love is worth having."
"And that's exactly my argument," I reminded her in a steely voice.
The space between us crackled with emotion.
"Well," she finally said. "I guess I should get going."
"I guess so," I agreed. I mean, she'd tried every trick in her bag, right? She'd told me that she loved me. She'd told me that I needed to grow up. She'd challenged the importance of my rune and had come to the same conclusion that I had reached—without my rune, I wasn't worth loving. She'd emptied her damn bag. There wasn't much left to do but leave.
At least that's what I thought.
But I was wrong.
Havoc Page 19