Chapter Nine
Walking away from the grave Gabriel had a very warm feeling rather than the normal void. He had faced many demon's that had been haunting him since falling into Apollyon's trap. The warmth he was feeling was not spiritual, or even physical. It was the knowledge that he was still human and still had morals.
He was understanding that his weakness connected him to the rest of mankind. The defenses he had been building up was what outcast him for so many years. He might be a suicidal, psychotic, madman but it was what still made him human and not a monster. Maybe Gabriel had to face death before he could really live. The pain and emotion of reality was enough to drive him insane. But he was finally starting to live and find meaning.
Gabriel took a different route out of the graveyard. It was the old section that had graves dating back from the 1800's. Iron fencing and concrete surrounded the ancient graves. Some of the graves suffered from vandalism, while some remained almost untouched. Their were many graves of infants in the old section of the graveyard. Many of them had lamb's on their tombstone and the lambs head had been removed from vandal's.
It was hard enough that a infant lost it's fight and died. Had they lived a few centuries later with modern medical equipment then they would have most likely survived. But the true horrifying thing is that some sick and twisted monster removed the lambs head from the tombstone. Gabriel had seen many sin's listed in the bible, but it's the one's that are not in the bible that has made this world sickening to live in.
God himself could not even imagine such disgusting crimes against humanity and did not list them in the commandments. The same type of person who removed the lambs head should not have been granted the life that the infant never had. Gabriel could remember seeing Indian petroglyphs as a kid. It was so magical that he could see the artwork on our earth that dated back before famous artists like Leonardo Da Vinci and invoked creativity.
Today those petroglyphs have bullet holes in them and other carving's added into the rock from ignorant rednecks. They were better off taking a shit on the Mona Lisa and wiping their ass with the starry night. The aura they leave for the next generation is this: You might be a stupid inbred fuckhead, but it's okay because you can destroy thousand year old artwork. Instead of inspiring creativity in the hearts and minds of future generations you will inspire a burning hatred for fuckheads that want to destroy art and nature.
Sometimes Gabriel felt like saving the world but it's the little thing's like the lambs head that makes him want to just say fuck it. The world has lost morals and respect for others. Why try to save them when they will destroy themselves. Like a vile plague of ignorant zombies consuming and destroying all that's in their path. Then biting the future generation and turning them into a even more horrific ignorant zombie. So how could Gabriel ever hope to save such a plague?
Some of the old wooden gravestones had rotted and fallen over. The old section was not kept up and most of the area had weeds and even trees growing in front of the tombstones. It's sad that we have forgotten about the past generations and our ancestors. They had morals and a understanding of life and their purpose here.
Gabriel always wished he lived in a earlier time. To live the simple life where if you were lazy and greedy you would starve. The days when a man could work his land and bring food home to his family simply by being a hunter and gatherer. When man lived his life with the sweat on his brow and integrity. To lay his head down at night and not have to think about all the bullshit bills, stress, and fear of the future.
Today a man cannot go out and make it simply off the sweat of his brow and integrity. Simply going to the grocery store deprives modern man of that. Some poor man, woman, or child in a third world county is living in slavery to put food and items in our grocery stores. Their life is one of pain, poverty, sickness, and suffering so that we can consume.
Our society is fine with it though, they go into a grocery store and see the commercial side of slavery. It looks colorful, happy, and delicious on the shelf. But they don't see the death and destruction that it is causing behind the scenes. But it's not always the consumers fault, we have laws that require us to join in on the corruption. After all if we could all go out and shoot a deer for dinner then there would be none left.
Gabriel had the problem, but there was no solution. Obviously the world was to far gone in the eye's of god. But it was the perfect planet for the fallen angel of hell. He was basking in the glory of all the corruption. Gabriel had yet to see a person without blood on their hands in the present time. Sure he saw people from the past without it, but not the present.
Gabriel was still walking through the graveyard and felt lost in his mind and on the earth. He was not sure if the old section would lead him back to his truck. He had no idea where he was and just walked amongst the ruins of people with integrity. Gabriel saw a bunch of graves with an iron gate around them. The stones where old and hard to read but they all died on the same day, September 8th, 1872.
“He was a real family man.” Apollyon said from behind Gabriel. Gabriel did not turn around but continued to stare at the stones. “You know I have so many question's for you, but I already know the answers.” Gabriel said. “Well then, if you know the answer how is it a question?”
“I know the answer will be a lie, that I have to figure out the truth in.”
“I have been asked many questions throughout the dawn of man, but never that one. The less you know the better off you are Gabriel. But I will answer every question you have if you promise me one thing.”
Gabriel knew what these deals with the devil would mean. He was tricked into drinking from the grail and ended up in this mess of immortality. But what more could Apollyon really do, after all Gabriel was now in control. The devil needed Gabriel more than Gabriel needed him. But Gabriel had to find answers to the many questions that made him lack faith.
“A promise to the devil.......I am better off just selling my soul.”
“I already have your soul, and your soul is not what I want. The man who forgave the creature that enjoyed the finer sides of your wife, and cursed Cain. No matter how insanely despicable it is to me. That is who you must be at all times.”
Gabriel loved the feeling it gave him when he was able to forgive Antonio. It lifted weights that had been dragging his soul into destruction once again. Cain was clearly a mad man and Gabriel was more than happy to be rid of him. Gabriel had already accepted the terms the day Apollyon baptized him in the river. But Gabriel was still just a man of mistakes but he needed answers.
“You know I almost killed them both, but I had to see where Antonio's heart was at before I ripped it from him.” Gabriel said.
“Yes I know what you did, I was watching. I have had my eye's on you since the day god placed you in the womb.” Apollyon said.
“Would you have stopped me, from killing them?”
“No, Cain cannot die and the only way you can be a saint is at heart. I protected you from many things for years. But now you are on your own, I picked you because I knew you would not kill him. I am only here because I believe god made a mistake. I was an angel once you know?”
“Yes, I had a dream about you falling from heaven as a child. It's hard to explain the dream but it was like I knew so much about religion without reading a word in the bible until now. In the dream black clouds encircled a bright light. I didn't understand it then but I do now. You came from the light, with wings torn and spewing black blood as you plummeted from the sky. Then I woke up and forgot it, until now.”
“Yes, it was a glorious day. See god made a mistake by creating man. Me and some of the other Angels in heaven did not want to be less in his eye's, than his mistake. So we made our decent and I finally found what energizes my apatite, the destruction of man. You were no mistake though, created not only by god's will but my cunning. But I can no longer fight your battles for you, now the choice is yours, to prove god wrong, or build my legion. As you know either way I win!”
“So you are no longer dodging bullets, and killing the ones I love?” Gabriel said with a sigh.
“Yes that is right, so swear to me to be my saint, or prove god wrong?”
“I swear to be god's saint.” Gabriel was not going to surrender himself to Apollyon. He was not doing what is right because Apollyon had to build his legion. But because he still had morals, god was a mystery to him. But he would rather make a oath to god than the devil.
“Ha, well that is good enough for me. Now walk with me and I will answer anything you wish to know.”
Gabriel turned away from the graves and walked down the graveyard road with Apollyon. “Hmmm, what happened to that family back there anyways?”
“Hahaha! I tell you I will answer any question. Give you the key's to life and this is what I get asked!” Apollyon said laughing hysterically.
“We can get to that later, we have time. So the family?”
“As you wish, You read the story of Job so you know Job was a true saint of god's. I told god what if I take everything from him will he still be a saint. Job remained as such, the man back there was no different from Job. One day he was cutting wood in the forest alone just outside of his cabin. Me and some of my angels charged through the forest after him. He nearly died of fear and ran to his cabin. We screamed and yelled from outside. He barricaded himself and his family inside. He looked up to the heavens and prayed god would forgive him. He said he would not allow his family to be captured by demons and would trade himself. So he raised the ax above his head and smashed it into his wives shoulder blade. She collapsed to the floor and he then smashed it into her head. Next were the children, then when they all were slayed he walked out to me and bowed down before me. I was utterly impressed by his blood lust. He did not just kill his family to save them, he enjoyed surrendering to us.
“Heh imagine if the story's like that made it in the bible!” Gabriel said.
“Ha, then man would be unable to read the bible in his pathetic lifespan.”
“Will you still answer my questions if we don't get to them all now?” Gabriel was being cautious of more tricks. Apollyon was known to flake out on him and the chances of all of Gabriel's questions being answered were as slim as Cain being forgiven.
“Your questions are horrible! But yes as long as you are sworn to me, I will.”
Now they were walking in a unknown area of the graveyard or world. Gabriel had walked the Graveyard many times and never saw the old crosses and stones that he was seeing now. When he walked this section in the past it was just a empty field so it seemed foreign to him. Some of the graves were from before the old section of the graveyard. These graves dated back to the 1850's and looked like they were placed yesterday. Even the soil had been recently dug and fresh flowers adorned the graves.
“If Jesus died for our sin's why was Cain not forgiven?”
“Human's and their Jesus died for our sin's bit. Jesus died because of your sin's not for them. If so we would not be in the chaos we are now. If all was forgiven I would be no more, heaven would be full of men like Cain. Did you know Jeffery Dahmer, a man who feasted on childrens flesh asked for forgiveness. Now do you imagine your heaven with Jeffery Dahmer in it? That sounds more like my heaven, and that's exactly where he is.” Apollyon said with fury in his voice.
“So I can't just go out and spree kill, fuck random sluts, then suicide bomb a mosque and ask for forgiveness?” Gabriel said laughing.
“Don't you know, I will have 50 virgins waiting if you did that. No man clearly did not understand Jesus and twists his history to allow themselves to feel good about sinning. You can ask for forgiveness all you want but if you are not truly ashamed of the sins then you will be welcomed to my heaven.”
Gabriel was confused, it seemed as though Apollyon was running his mind around in circles. The conversation was becoming as confusing as the landscape. Next to one of the graves they passed was a statue of three children on a bench. It was of two girls and one boy sitting in the middle on a bench reading the bible.
Gabriel stared at it for a moment and its symbolism to him in that moment. None of the children were old enough to read but were expected to understand the bible and have faith. Gabriel felt like the boy, he was expected to understand what he cannot. Then he was expected not to fall for the temptation at his right and left side and all around him.
Around them in the woods was the laughter of children. Gabriel imagined that Apollyon could see into his thoughts and setting more traps to confuse and capture him. There was almost a romantic side to Apollyon, he was easy to like. But Gabriel knew he could not fall for his tricks or love the world he was creating.
“So if Dahmer was truly ashamed of what he did then he would have been forgiven?” Gabriel said.
“You really think he was, you think those people who beg for forgiveness then do the same thing again will be forgiven? If I offered Dahmer a child today, he would have it cut up and be chewing on its bones. You can be forgiven, but not in the way mankind thinks they will be.”
“What about a man who forgives, will he be forgiven?”
“Sure if he truly thinks he was wrong for doing the sin and really forgave others, then of course. No one see's the hearts of man but god and me. Today their hearts are full of corruption and excuses. They go to church and lie to themselves then go out and sin. If you let 100 religious men fuck the woman or man they most desired. Then the next day hook them up to a lie detector and ask if they were sorry for their sins and wanted to be forgiven. Do you really think they would pass the test. So it is with god.” Apollyon was struggling to explain things to Gabriel and was becoming more and more impatient with him. He struggled with modern analogies so that Gabriel might comprehend what he was saying.
“Okay so what about science?” Gabriel was trying to get off the conversation of forgiveness. He was having as hard of a time understanding it as the devil teaching him it.
“What about it?” Apollyon said.
“Well isn't science there to prove that god does not exist?”
“Well it depends really, the question is way to broad for me to give an answer. If you want the truth from me you must be as specific with the question as humanly possible.”
“Fine, the dinosaurs, what were they, how were they in god's plan?”
“It sounds to me Gabriel that you are trying to prove to yourself that god does not exist. I have many webs that I cast on earth to ensnare man.”
“Now you sound more like a preacher, okay evolution. We know it happens so did we come from monkey's?”
“Well I personally would place you in the same category, yes. But it all happens by god's will, simply because an evolved version of a monkey existed does not mean it's where man came from. Evolution does exist and was a part of his will. I think he hoped you would evolve into something better, more worthy of his love. But luckily for me that has not happened!”
Apollyon always spoke of man as though there was no hope for them. Like Apollyon had already won the ancient battle of good and evil and put the nail in the coffin.
“Well a few months ago I would have asked why is there evil, but I understand that now. Why has god remained hidden. Why is there no modern bible or laws that pertain to our society?”
“You should have been a joker because these questions are absurd. You want god to conform to your society. You want him to change his law's to fit yours? I know I destroyed most of the bible but I thought enough was left for people to understand. You are playing OUR game, not your game. Why would he answer to a corrupted world. There is no modern bible because the man who wrote it would be strung up by his neck. Just as Jesus was crucified. If you ran into the Vatican city now and said you talk to angels and god and have a message for the pope they would find the nearest cell to lock you in. It's the same reason you cannot tell anyone about us. It took time but I made it this way, so no one can really believe or have faith.”
“What about the other gods?”<
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“Again you must be specific!”
“Well are the other gods real, like the people who believe in say Buddha?”
“Siddhartha Gautama was real, he lived within god's commandments and so was given eternal life.”
“But he did not believe in the catholic or christian god?”
“So what, neither does a infant who dies at birth. If he stayed within the commandments and had a pure heart is he less of a being for not knowing gods name?”
“Well, no.” Gabriel said confused. Gabriel remained silent for a moment letting it all sink in. His mind darted for questions and struggled with the answers. There was so much more to know and understand but his mind and our language was not evolved enough to understand it all.
“What language did you use in heaven?”
“It is like any language, in heaven you are equipped with it. But it is much more intense than any language of the earth. If we were speaking it now you would already understand everything and there would be no more discussion. Unfortunately I have to explain it all in this form you call English!”
“Do you use the same language in hell?”
“No, those not in my legion have no language, or understanding of anything. Just feeling, suffering. Those in my legion and my angels speak Latin. When we were cast from heaven we had to figure out a way to communicate. So we used Latin, and still do. Which is why those possessed will normally speak Latin, but we can also speak your languages.”
“Okay so you can speak any language but use Latin when speaking with your legion?”
“You are catching on so fast, I will need to witness a family be slaughtered or maybe an orphanage of children just to get your ignorant stench from my tongue!” Apollyon's aggravation was growing and the landscape was going dark, and dead. The grass was dead and scorched. The graves were now falling over and the sky was going dark. Pine tree's were barren and dead.
“Sorry just making sure I am understanding this all correctly. So do angels....you, and god have mind's and do you learn things?”
“Well I have been learning that maybe I was wrong and should have never picked you!” Apollyon paused for a moment of irritation.
“Yes but your mind is no where near capable of understanding ours, or us.” Apollyon said.
“So what do you do in heaven, do you have sex with angel's, run around with a sword killing demons or what?” Gabriel was now simply grasping for any question to ask. The ignorance of a citizen of Axal was starting to shine through.
“Some questions I cannot answer, what man does in heaven is as much a mystery to me as to you. I was outcast before and have not returned since.”
“Okay so what did you do in heaven before?”
“It was much like any kingdom of man, except honest. We lived for the affection of god. I assume the angels in heaven still do. We also served god and his will, if he willed us to love we did. If he willed us to fight, we would. We did as he commanded and it was always right. That is until he made man.” Apollyon had a expression of a orphan child out cast from his fathers love. It was apparent to Gabriel that Apollyon loved god and his kingdom. Gabriel could even hear the jealousy in his words. The master of lies and tricks was starting to crack before him.
“So once he made man what did you do, did you create hell, and what exactly is in hell?”
“One day when you are ready I will show you hell.... We had to build an underworld to keep those devoted to me. The best way to explain hell in English is damnation. Since falling from heaven I cannot explain all I have done, simply put I ravished the plague of man.”
“I know these are broad questions but I think you are holding out on so many of the answers.”
“Some thing's the mind of man cannot handle. God did not put you here to understand everything which is why the mind of man is limited. I can only answer what you can understand and I can translate.”
“Alright fair enough I guess...” Gabriel said but Apollyon cut him off before he could finish.
“That is enough questions for now. I will answer them all in time as promised but this all bores me. The knowledge you gain will simply be wasted. For now I must leave, even I have a apatite to feed!”
“Well just know I am holding you to it. Next time we meet you will get many more questions. So I guess this is bye,and thanks?”
Apollyon had pulled his typical vanishing act leaving Gabriel with the last word. Gabriel would have went on for days asking Apollyon questions but it was clear his patients with Gabriel was thin. Once again he was left to seek his purpose and somehow live in the world with everything he now knew.
Before the blink of a eye, the clouds and graves were gone. Gabriel was standing in the empty section of the graveyard that he remembered from previous exploration. He was unsure of why Apollyon was displaying graves and memorials that did not exist. Gabriel walked back towards the old section of the graveyard so that he could get back to his truck without getting lost once again.
The old section was now in view and looking at it was as though looking into Gabriel's soul. Old graves partially destroyed by vandal's and the passing of time. Each one unique with its own story of pain and suffering. They were guarded like his heart, by morals and spiritual taboo. Going into the depths of the graves in his soul would only bring on future pain. So each grave was treated with absolute care and respect of the past.
Apollyon's Saint The Collection: Books One through Ten Page 9