by Anna Bradley
“I’ll have you know,” he growled, stepping closer until there were mere inches between them, sending her heartrate galloping, “I’m considered quite the catch.”
“Are you indeed?” she scoffed. “Because of all those non-existent virtues of yours?”
“Your low opinion of me is flattering, really,” Ben drawled.
Natalia laughed until she noticed an abrupt change in Ben. He went from affable to predatory in an instant.
His golden eyes suddenly glowed with a fire that heated Talia’s very veins.
“We’ve barely spoken properly since your family got here,” he surprised her by saying. “And we’ve certainly not been alone.”
“N-no we haven’t,” she managed, though it was difficult. Breathing was difficult with him this close.
“And whilst I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, I’ve missed you.”
Natalia felt her jaw drop at his words.
Never could she have imagined that Ben Trafford, the Arrogant Earl, the man who spent years swatting her away as though she were an annoying insect, would be standing here saying he’d missed her.
“Don’t worry, I’m just as surprised as you are.” He frowned. “But there we have it.”
“I – I – “
Natalia had no idea what she could or should say, so she stumbled to a halt.
“Now, given that I’ve spent these last couple of days missing your company, I think it’s only fair that I remind you of at least one of my virtues.”
Natalia darted her tongue out to wet her dry lips, and Ben’s eyes flew to her mouth, the gold in their depths deepening further still.
Good heavens, I’m in trouble, Natalia thought.
“Wh-what virtue is that?” she asked, her voice shaking, her heart pounding.
Ben’s answering grin was positively wolfish.
“I happen to be an excellent kisser, remember?”
Before Natalia could gasp at his arrogance and scold him for his impropriety, he closed the miniscule distance between them and pressed his mouth against her own.
And then she could do nothing at all except kiss him back.
CHAPTER TEN
Ben stood in the receiving line beside his aunt, the dutiful nephew charming the guests and playing his role to perfection.
But his mind wasn’t in it.
And his heart certainly wasn’t.
In fact, he was becoming more than a little concerned that his heart was three miles away with the black-haired, blue-eyed enchantress who had somehow, after years of his knowing and disliking her, become something terrifyingly important to him.
“You’re a damned idiot,” he muttered to himself.
“What was that, dear?”
Ben’s eyes snapped to Aunt Elizabeth.
“Nothing,” he assured her quickly.
She eyed him speculatively before returning her attention to her guests.
“Ah, here is Lady Cybil and her mother. You are acquainted with Lady Cybil, are you not?”
Ben looked over the receiving line before he spotted the blonde daughter of Viscount Tressle.
“I am,” he said carefully. “To some extent.”
He frowned at his aunt suspiciously.
“Why do you ask?” he demanded.
“No reason.” His aunt shrugged at him in between nodding her greetings and accepting compliments on her home.
This evening was the real start of Aunt Elizabeth’s famed festivities; a week of parties and events, culminating with the Christmas Eve Ball.
The ball at which he would announce his fake engagement to Natalia.
“She is lovely,” Aunt Elizabeth said, but Ben was hardly paying attention. Instead, he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of raven hair.
What the hell had become of him?
“Yes,” he agreed distractedly.
“I’m glad you think so. She’s shy but quite pretty and from an excellent family. You will take care to dance with her?”
“Of course,” he muttered, still not really paying attention.
“Where are the Soronskys?” he blurted.
If memory served, Natalia had always been at the house with Bea from sun-up on the first day of Aunt Elizabeth’s festivities.
He remembered the headache he used to get from the pair of them squealing and giggling all day, following him around, and Natalia in particular making a nuisance of herself.
Only two years ago, he’d had to rescue her from the bannister at the top of the staircase when she’d climbed up there to fix a sprig of holly and gotten stuck.
Then he’d wished her to perdition, torn between wanting to wring her pretty little neck and ignore her existence entirely.
So how was it that now he stood here like a nervous schoolboy desperately awaiting her arrival?
He never should have kissed her. Again. That was the problem.
Kissing her before the arrival of her parents had been bad enough. Well, not bad. But not a good idea.
And he’d lived in a haze of tortured longing ever since because now he knew what it was to hold her, to taste her lips.
Seeing her alone yesterday morning had been more temptation than he could bear.
If he’d thought that kissing her again would have slaked his thirst for her, then he’d been very much mistaken.
Because now he couldn’t concentrate on anything, couldn’t think of anything but her.
Now he craved her in ways he never had before.
Yesterday morning, when he’d taken her in his arms and kissed the living daylights out of the poor girl, something had shifted inside him.
His desire for her was growing by the second, his attraction like a live thing slithering along his veins until he thought it might drive him mad. But beyond that, he craved her company.
He wanted to see her smile. Hear that laugh.
He missed her wit and her sass.
She was an utter termagant. And he couldn’t get enough of her.
So, what the hell did this mean?
Before he could panic more than he already was about these feelings that were absolutely not part of his deal with Natalia, the crowd parted, and there she was.
Ben’s heart stopped dead in his chest as he watched Natalia sweep into the room.
She was a vision. Beyond any beauty he’d ever seen before.
His heart stuttered then started up again, racing now as though it would burst clean from his chest.
Get a hold of yourself, he commanded sternly. This isn’t the arrangement. This isn’t the plan.
Natalia looked up then, and her ice-blue gaze collided with his own.
Ben muffled a black oath under his breath.
Because in that moment, he knew. Planned or not, arrangement or not, he was losing his heart completely to Lady Natalia Soronsky.
***
“You look quite the thing tonight, my dear. So beautiful. And it looks as though I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
Natalia smiled weakly at Mama’s compliment.
In truth, Natalia could have had a face like a horse’s behind and people would have stared.
The gown Papa had brought from Russia was opulence itself. Far too glamourous for a country Christmas party.
And it was nothing compared to the gown she would wear, whether she wished to or not, at the Christmas Eve ball.
The ball where Ben would announce their betrothal.
As soon as her thoughts inevitably circled to Ben, her eyes sought him out.
A rotund couple in front of her moved away and then she saw him.
He was staring right at her, and Natalia felt trapped in that golden gaze. He looked like an angel standing there, towering over all around him, his light hair almost the same colour as his eyes in the candlelight.
Natalia couldn’t have looked away if her life had depended on it.
“Be careful, Talia.”
Mama’s gentle warning caught Natalia’s attention, breaking Ben’s spell over her, and she tu
rned to face her mother.
Petr and Andrei were already flirting with a bevy of giggling debutantes, and Papa was discussing hunting tactics, his accented baritone commanding the attention of everyone around him.
“What do you mean?” she asked nervously.
Mama studied Natalia’s face for a moment before sighing and reaching out to grasp her daughter’s hand.
“Your father is quite determined, my dear,” the countess said, her tone all seriousness. “Nothing will dissuade him. You will be coming home with us.”
Natalia’s stomach roiled at her mother’s words.
“Natalia, I know you have built a life here. And I know, more than anyone, how hard it is to leave this country. But Russia is your home.”
“England was your home,” Natalia countered. “And you happily left it for somewhere else.”
“I left it for someone else,” her mother countered gently. “I left it for love.”
Natalia took a deep breath. Perhaps she should come clean. Confess to Mama just what she’d been up to. Explain that somewhere along the way the waters had become so muddy that she couldn’t even imagine her life now without Ben in it.
But Mama wasn’t finished.
“Your father is determined to have you home. Nothing you do or say will dissuade him, Natalia. And you should know that. It wouldn’t be fair to you or to – anyone else, if you were to think otherwise.”
Natalia’s worry grew exponentially.
It had never really dawned on her that Papa would force her hand, engagement or not.
“If you had been forming an attachment,” Mama continued shrewdly, “then it would be a waste of your time. Your father will not yield.”
“But – “
“Do not leave your heart in England when you come back to Russia. Because you are coming back.”
With a gentle squeeze of her hand, Mama turned and joined Aunt Mary and Lady Fortescue.
Natalia felt her eyes fill with helpless tears as they sought out Ben again.
There he was, chatting with Lady Cybil, their heads bent toward each other.
A jealousy, ugly and visceral, reared its head and warred with the other unpleasant emotions storming through her.
What good were Mama’s warnings now?
Standing there, watching Ben, knowing that in a couple of weeks she’d be leaving England and marrying someone she’d never even met, Natalia knew that her mother’s words of caution were useless.
Knew that despite her best efforts, she was very likely going to be leaving her heart in England, whether she wished to or not.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ben danced dutifully with Lady Cybil, then with some other young ladies, before he grabbed hold of his cousin and dragged her into a quadrille.
“Where is she?” he whispered whilst the other dancers took their places.
Bea didn’t have to ask whom he meant.
Natalia had disappeared before the first set, and she hadn’t reappeared since. Ben would have known if she had, for he’d spent most of the evening looking for her.
“I don’t know,” Bea admitted uneasily. “This isn’t like her. She loves parties.”
“I know,” he muttered before bowing to her and starting the dance.
He had to wait while they circled and pranced about ridiculously before Beatrice was in front of him once more and they could continue their muted conversation.
“She was quite adamant that we should dance at least twice together, to ensure tongues were wagging,” Ben said now, trying to ignore the uneasiness in his gut.
But he was worried.
Surely Natalia wouldn’t cry off something so important for no good reason?
Her future depended on this working, as did Ben’s.
Beyond that, though, he was worried because he’d stupidly come to care more about Natalia than anyone or anything else in his life, and he didn’t like that she wasn’t where she was supposed to be.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Ben,” Beatrice said, but her hazel eyes were filled with the same concern Ben was feeling. “I saw her come in, but before I even got a chance to greet her properly, she was gone.”
The dance came to an end, and Ben turned to dutifully return Beatrice to his aunt’s side.
He saw with some dismay that there was yet another unattached young lady standing by Aunt Elizabeth awaiting his arrival.
All evening she’d been parading these women in front of him. Another good reason why he’d have liked Natalia to be there.
None of the ladies here could hold a candle to her, and it would be no hardship giving all of his attention to her.
“Right, that’s it.”
Ben stopped, accidentally dragging Beatrice to a stop, too.
“I’m going to find her,” he said.
“You can’t leave,” Bea gasped. “Mama will have your head!”
“I don’t care,” he argued mutinously.
“Well I do since I shall have to listen to her despairing of you. Besides,” Beatrice continued when Ben wanted to just leave. “It’s one thing for you and Natalia to pretend to be falling in love in the right way.”
His little cousin looked up and fixed him with a gimlet stare.
“It is quite another for you both to go missing together at a party. Now, I’ve already warned Natalia of the impropriety of this plan of hers. But running off alone together? That is ruinous, as you well know.”
Yes, he did bloody well know. He didn’t care, though.
Something was wrong. And he wasn’t going to stand here paying court to other ladies and do nothing about it.
“Ben.” Beatrice’s voice was as firm as he’d ever heard it. “I’m going to tell you what I told Talia — your actions have consequences.”
“I know,” he assured her. Then, he turned on his heel and swept from the room in search of Natalia.
The only consequence for these actions he could think of would be a forced marriage.
And whilst he might not admit it to anyone else, to himself at least he could be honest. As far as consequences went, a real marriage, instead of a fake one, didn’t seem all that bad.
***
Natalia shivered, wishing that she’d run off in the direction of the cloakroom. At least then she could have grabbed her heavy winter coat and been warm.
Instead, she’d come into the freezing conservatory at the back of the house.
Not her best idea.
But then, none of her ideas seemed to be working out very well.
Mama’s warning was ringing in her ears, over and over again.
It was all over before it had even begun.
Father would brook no argument.
Betrothal or not, he was bringing his daughter home.
The worst part of it all wasn’t that she’d be forced to wed a stranger, or that she’d miss Beatrice more than she could imagine.
No, the worst part was that she’d never see Ben again. And that thought was crushing. It hurt so much she felt as though she couldn’t even breathe properly.
It was that simple then. She’d gone and fallen in love with the man. And now she had to leave.
Not only that, but she had to renege on their deal. There was no point to it now. Papa would never allow them to announce a betrothal, and Ben needed one.
The best thing to do, the only thing to do, was to break off their doomed arrangement and allow Ben to spend the rest of the house party convincing another girl to marry him.
And if the mere idea of that made Natalia feel as though her heart were breaking in two, then she would just have to deal with it.
The tears fell freely now, and Natalia didn’t try to stop them.
She would cry it out, curse her fate, then gather her spirits and return to the ballroom before anyone realised she was missing.
“You went missing.”
Natalia screamed in fright at the sound of a voice behind her, and she spun around to see Ben standing only feet from her.
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“What are you doing here?” she sniffed.
“Looking for my missing fiancé,” he quipped.
And that did it. His innocent attempt at humour broke her, and Natalia put her head in her hands and sobbed.
“Natalia.”
Ben’s horrified exclamation would have amused her at any other time, but not now. Now she was facing the shambles she’d made of her life and how she’d let Ben down. And how she’d gone and fallen for him like a complete dolt.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed. “I just – I’ve made a mess of everything.”
She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t face him.
“Don’t cry.”
Natalia felt herself wrapped in Ben’s warm, strong embrace. But that just made her cry harder still.
“Shh.”
He pressed her against his chest, and Natalia turned her head, hearing the unsteady thump of his heart, feeling it pulse against her.
She felt Ben’s lips press against the top of her head, and it was an exquisite sort of torture, being held in his arms, knowing she had to set him free.
“Shh,” he repeated. “Please, love. Don’t cry. I can’t bear it.”
Natalia knew the endearment meant nothing, yet her foolish heart flipped at the word ‘love.’
“I’m sorry”, she mumbled, desperately trying to get her tears under control.
“Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it,” he said against her hair.
Natalia laughed, but the sound was harsh and humourless.
“You can’t fix it,” she sniffed.
Despite the hole she’d dug for herself, Ben’s embrace was calming and soothing her in a way she wouldn’t have thought possible.
“I can try,” he answered back. “I’ll do anything and everything in my power to fix it,” he said softly, sincerely.
Was it any wonder that she’d fallen in love with him when he was so impossibly wonderful?
“Who’s upset you?” he pressed.
Natalia pulled back to gaze up at him.
It was no use. He wasn’t going to give up until she talked to him. She could tell by the set of his jaw, the determination in his eyes.
He seemed to be exuding power just then, a man who never accepted no for an answer, a Peer powerful enough to get what he wanted.