by J. L. Wilder
I get to my feet and shoulder my backpack in one motion, and I’m already moving toward the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the man push back his chair as I pass him, and my anxiety ratchets up to panic, but I don’t dare start running yet. If he doesn’t know that I’ve noticed him, or if he doesn’t know which way I’m going—if there’s any element of surprise left in this situation—it’s the only advantage I have left. I can’t give it up yet.
As soon as I’m through the door and out in the open air, I pick up the pace. I don’t know if he’s following me. I’m too afraid to look back. I fish the keys out of my pocket as I run, whipping around the side of the motel, pumping my legs as fast as I can. I spot the bike. I’m almost there.
I throw my leg over the bike. On the first try, I fumble the key against the ignition and a little whimper escapes me. I slam it home on my second try and turn. The bike roars to life. I throw it in gear, jam on the accelerator, and speed out of the parking lot and around toward the exit.
The front of the building is completely devoid of people.
The man didn’t follow me out of the building. He must not be a wolf, after all. I was safe the whole time.
By the time my breathing returns to normal, I’m on the highway speeding North. Is this what my life is going to be like now? Panicking every time someone looks at me funny, running away from perfectly innocuous situations like a scared rabbit? I’m a shifter, for God’s sake. I should be able to take care of myself. And I would be able to, I think, if it was just an average man I was facing. If I’d known for sure he wasn’t a wolf I wouldn’t have been afraid. But the problem is that I don’t know how to recognize a threat. It’s a skill I never learned. I always had my clan to protect me. They kept me indoors. They kept me safe. But now, that protection is gone, and their treatment of me has left me completely vulnerable.
I focus on keeping my speed up as the day progresses. My scare over breakfast has brought home to me, in a visceral way, the need to reach Alaska as quickly as possible. I need to get myself under someone’s protection. I have to believe this is what my clan would advise me to do in this situation. They were no fans of the Hell’s Bears, but they didn’t equip me to live on my own. And even if they had, a solo existence isn’t natural for a shifter. We’re made to live in groups. That’s part of what makes the Hell’s Bears such outliers—they’re a very small clan. I don’t know for sure how many of them there are, but living outside the law the way they do discourages others from joining with them. It will increase my value to them as an omega, I think. I hope.
I cross the border into Alaska well after nightfall. I believe it’s after midnight, but I haven’t checked in a few hours and can’t be certain. I’m exhausted, hungry, and emotionally overwhelmed. What’s more, I don’t know exactly how to find the people I’m looking for. I’m in the right part of the world now, but what’s my next step? My best hope is to follow news of the Hell’s Bears’ exploits. They don’t exactly keep a low profile.
I’m just considering stopping at a gas station to pick up a local newspaper when my tires slip on the snow covered asphalt, sending my bike into a skid. I wrestle to get control back. Even though I know it’s not what I’m supposed to do in this situation, I automatically squeeze the brakes. The bike goes into a tailspin and whips across the road, and suddenly, I’m not piloting this thing anymore. A million thoughts flash through my head, thoughts of hard pavement and whether or not I should let go and throw myself off the side of the thing before it has a chance to crash. I don’t have a chance at getting control back.
The last thing that flashes through my head is how upset Berto’s going to be that I crashed his bike. Then there’s a sharp pain in my shoulder and everything fades to black.
Chapter Three
“What are you thinking? You can’t just make these decisions without talking to us.”
“Look, she was on the side of the road. She wrecked her—”
“I don’t care where she was! Jack isn’t going to—”
“Quiet, both of you. We are not going to discuss this right in front of her. Outside.”
“We’re just going to leave her in the den?”
“She’s fine here, Ryan.”
“It’s not her I’m worried about. The den is private.”
“Both of you, stop it. Outside, now.”
The voices recede. I’m fine with that. It means, I can stop trying to decode what they’re talking about. It means, maybe I can go back to sleep. I know I’m in a dangerous situation—what kind of situation wouldn’t be dangerous for me right now? But I’ve picked up on a few key words, the most crucial of which is den. Bears live in dens. Wolves do not. I am willing to bet that, right now, I’m with a clan of bears.
But am I willing to bet my life on it?
I’m longing to be unconscious again. Waking up was painful. My arm feels like it’s on fire, and my head aches fiercely. On top of that, I’m exhausted. I had a long journey to get here, and I haven’t been eating or sleeping as much as I should. I want to fall back under, into sleep, away from the pain and the worry that being awake has brought me. But I don’t think I can take the risk.
Because even if these people are bears, they’re almost certainly the Hell’s Bears. The dangerous clan I’ve only come to as a last resort. And based on the conversation I just heard, they’re not exactly thrilled to see me. So, I need to be alert. I need to prepare myself for whatever’s going to happen when they walk back in here.
Even though it’s the last thing I want to do, I force myself to sit up. I examine my injured arm, flexing my fingers, straightening and bending at the elbow. Nothing seems to be broken, but there’s a gauze bandage tied around my bicep. The sight is encouraging. Whatever the Hell’s Bears might think of my presence in their den, at the very least, they wanted to keep me alive and reasonably healthy. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything—it could just be that they want me in good breeding condition. But that’s still better than being alone or being taken by the wolves.
I take the opportunity to look around the place. One of the voices described it as a den, but it’s nothing like the den I left behind, where my clan and I lived. Our “den” was a house that had been in Leo’s family for generations. It was old, and a bit run down, but that was part of its charm, part of what made it unique and special and ours. I had my very own bedroom with an en-suite bathroom in the den, one of the few privileges of being an omega. My privacy was important.
But I’m not going to have any privacy if I stay here. That much is obvious. This den doesn’t have rooms or walls or en-suite baths. This den isn’t even a house. It’s a cave. It’s a literal cave.
To the bears’ credit, they’ve taken some steps toward making the place homey. But there’s only so much you can do with a cave. There are soft looking furs on the floor, and after a moment, I realize I’ve been lying on a pile of them. I wonder what animal they’re from. They’re not as soft as a mattress, but it’s a lot better than sleeping on cold rock would be. I can also see strings of smoked meat hanging on a wall and a basket of berries on the floor. The sight makes my mouth water, but I don’t dare crawl over and start eating their food without having been invited. That won’t endear me to them.
Why would they choose to live somewhere like this? I don’t understand it. Alaska is freezing. Surely, they’d be happier in a house with central heating, with a refrigerator where they could buy and store real groceries. Is this what life is going to be like with the Hell’s Bears? Will I become feral, an outsider to society, living in a cave in the middle of the woods?
Do I have any alternative?
I think back to the voices I heard as I was waking up and try to count them. There were definitely at least two, but I think there were more. I can’t be sure. Either way, I don’t have a chance at getting past them if they decide they want me here and I decide I want to leave. My fate is entirely in their hands now. I’ve made my choice, and now I have to live with it.
I feel a pang in my chest just thinking of it. I loved all the members of my pack, of course, but Berto was my best friend. The thought of having taken his prized possession, his bike, and destroyed it is awful. He would be devastated if he knew.
Just as I’m getting lost in thoughts of Berto and the family and home I’ve lost, a man steps into the cave, blocking out the light and making the whole place seem more sinister just by his presence. He’s a wall of muscle, his bicep thicker around than my thigh, and yet he carries himself lithely. Without meaning to, I back away from him. I can’t help it. I’m afraid.
It’s not just his size and stature. There’s something unfriendly in his face, something threatening in the way he’s looking at me. I get the feeling he’s not at all happy to see me here. It makes me want to apologize and back away, run from the cave as fast as I can, but he’d catch me. I wouldn’t stand a chance.
So, I stare at him. I don’t try to disguise my fear and fascination, and he doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s staring at me either. It feels as if we’re circling each other, even though neither one of us is moving.
Finally, he speaks. “What are you doing here?”
I don’t have a helpful answer to that question, so I give the true one instead. “I woke up here.”
He growls low in his throat. “You know that isn’t what I mean.”
I’m actually not sure what he means, so I don’t dare to answer again.
The man closes the distance between us, still growling. I can smell his scent now. He’s a bear, for sure. Somehow, though, that knowledge doesn’t make me feel any better. He’s come close enough now that he’s more than just a silhouette, and the details make him even more frightening. His facial hair is trimmed, but sloppily, and the hair on his head is wild. He isn’t wearing a shirt. I can see the tattoo on his shoulder, in the same place as mine, although I can’t make out what it represents. He’s dressed in ratty jeans that look like they might disintegrate and fall right off him, and his feet are bare. He looks wild, in other words, and for the first time, I truly understand what people meant when they told me the Hell’s Bears lived outside of society and law. This is a different kind of person from any I’ve ever met.
A voice comes floating through the mouth of the cave. “Ryan!”
The man jumps a little and looks back over his shoulder. It’s a strange response to see from such an intimidating man. He looks guilty and a little cowed. He glances at me again and glowers, but some of the power has been sucked out of it now. He’s not in charge here, and maybe by coming in here and bullying me the way he is, he’s even going against orders. That gives me hope.
Ryan—if that’s his name—ducks back out of the cave, leaving me on my own again. I pull my jacket tightly around my shoulders. It’s cold in here, cold enough that I wish I could take my bear form. But I know I shouldn’t. Right now, before we’ve even spoken, it could be seen as a challenge or an act of aggression, and if all of us shift and it becomes a brawl, I’m going to lose.
A moment later, another man comes in. This man looks a bit more civilized than Ryan—he’s better groomed and is wearing a t-shirt that appears to be clean. He’s also looking at me with frank curiosity instead of hostility, which is a little easier to take. Nonetheless, there’s something ominous about him, and for some reason, I’m even more nervous than I was when Ryan was here. At first, I can’t figure out what it is, but then he moves close to me and I catch an unmistakable scent. Alpha.
This is the man in charge.
He doesn’t sit down. I wish he would. I wish he’d put himself on my level. I don’t dare get to my feet in his presence. I don’t know, yet, how much trouble I’m in. “Who are you?” he asks, regarding me.
“I’m Cami,” I say, unsure what he’s looking for.
“You’re a shifter,” he says.
It’s not a question, so I don’t even consider lying about it. “Yes.”
“What brings you here? You’re not local, are you? We’ve never seen you in this area before. We’ve never tracked you.”
“I’m not from here,” I agree. “I drove up from...from Montana.” I balk at telling him I’m from Montana. I don’t want to give away any more information than I need to up front.
“Why did you drive up here?” the man asks. “You must have known this territory was claimed. All shifters know this is the territory of the Hell’s Bears.”
“I did know,” I admit. “I was looking for you.”
His eyes narrow. “You were looking for us? Why?”
“My clan died out,” I say. “I’m on my own. I’m looking for a new clan, and...well, I thought of you.”
“You thought you’d fit in with the Hell’s Bears?” He looks me up and down. It’s not flattering. I can tell he’s thinking I won’t be able to keep up with the rest of them, and he’s right. I wonder if any of them have figured out yet that I’m an omega. My value to them doesn’t lie in my ability to run with the pack. I’m good for other things.
“I know it’s not something you anticipated,” I say. “But I need the protection, and I think I might be able to contribute to this clan. I think you’ll be glad you took me in.”
The man looks thoughtful. “I’ll have to discuss it with the others. They’ll want to question you. Find out who you are and if they think you can be trusted.”
“Aren’t you the alpha?” I ask.
“That’s not how we do things,” he says. “I don’t use my power that way without considering their opinions. I won’t bring someone new into the clan if they don’t agree. You’ll have to win everyone over if you’re going to stay.”
“Okay,” I agree.
The man nods. “I’ll bring them in then, and you can meet the clan.”
Chapter Four
It turns out there are only three of them. I knew the Hell’s Bears were a small clan, but I did expect more than three. Some must have died out. I don’t know how to feel about it. If they outnumbered me by a lot, it would be intimidating. But this clan is smaller than the clan of wolves I’m running from. Will they be able to protect me if the wolves track me here?
They line up in front of me. The alpha stands in the middle. He’s taller than the other two, and stands with a sort of easy confidence I associate with Leo and my father. To his left, the man named Ryan is looking away from the rest of us with a scowl on his face and his arms crossed. He still makes me nervous, so I focus instead on the third man, the one I haven’t seen yet.
He’s shorter and slighter than the other two, although his build is still very athletic. His dark hair is a bit wild and tangled, and longer than either of the other men’s, but there’s something attractive about him all the same. Maybe it’s the fact that of the three Hell’s Bears standing in front of me, he’s the only one who’s smiling. He’s the only one who doesn’t seem annoyed or angry that I’m here in their cave.
I watch them carefully, waiting for one of them to say something, but they don’t speak. My nervousness increases. Are they waiting for me to talk first? Am I already being evaluated? How much do they already know about me?
Finally, the alpha breaks the silence. “You said your name was Cami, is that right?”
I nod, too fast, too eager. “Yes.”
“Cami, my name is Jack,” he says. “I’m the alpha of the Hell’s Bears.”
“I know,” I say. “I mean...I could tell you were the alpha.”
Ryan scoffs. I think h
e might think I’m sucking up or something. The third man, the one who smiled at me, shoots a quick frown his way.
“And you’re a shifter,” Jack continues. “You’re a bear, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Your clan died?”
“That’s right?”
“How did they die?” Ryan interrupts. I can hear the gruff anger in his voice, and I know this is an important question. I’m not sure what, exactly, he’s looking for, or what he’s worried about, but I know immediately, I can’t tell the truth. The Hell’s Bears won’t want anything to do with a pack of rogue wolves who are looking to crossbreed with me. It’s a dangerous fight, and it’s one nobody with any sense would get involved in. I can’t tell them my entire clan died trying to protect me from enemies who are still hunting me. They’d never let me stay.
So, I come up with the best lie I can think of on the spot. “They were sick,” I say. “We didn’t know exactly what it was, but they caught some kind of disease and started to die off. When it happened, those of us who weren’t infected isolated ourselves, but it turned out to be too late for everyone but me. One by one, I watched the rest of my clan die.” I’m impressed with my ability to come up with this lie on the spot. I’m not a good liar, but something about this dire situation must be bringing the skill out in me.
Ryan is significantly less impressed. “She could be infected with whatever it was,” he says to the alpha. “We can’t take her in when she could be getting sick any minute now. She could infect our clan, and then we’d all die out too. It’s too big a risk.”
“You’re judging too quickly,” the third man says. “You always do this. We have to hear the girl out. She isn’t sick now, and for all we know, she’s perfectly fine. What do you want to do, throw her out in the cold just because you’re afraid?”
Ryan rounds on him, a snarl on his lips. “You would put our clan at risk for someone we don’t even know? This isn’t your decision, Luka.”