by Penny Dee
I offered a gentle hand to her shoulder. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
She looked at me with nervous eyes. Then they shifted to Cade, asking him for permission. But he was busy flipping the top off a beer, his mouth fixed, his jaw clenching.
“Come on,” I said to her. “I’ll get you fixed up.”
Cade met my eyes and I matched his coolness with the coldest Arctic front a warm-blooded woman could pull off. The beer bottle paused at his lips as we passed by, and my eyes didn’t leave his until we disappeared from the room.
“Are you really a doctor?” the girl asked as I got to work on her face with antiseptic cream and a Q-tip.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“What?” I asked. “I don’t look like a doctor?”
She shrugged. “It’s just, well… this is kind of the last place I’d expect to find a woman like you.”
Sometimes I still felt the same way.
“That man…Cade. Are you his old lady?”
“No,” I replied. But when I thought about it, that wasn’t quite true. I was his old lady. We just hadn’t said much about us to anyone. Because before we knew it, the reality of an MC life had pointed a gun at us and fired. Isaac was dead. Whether I was Cade’s old lady or not seemed irrelevant. Unimportant. But now that I thought about it… yeah, I was Cade’s old lady.
“You know, The Knights didn’t have anything to do with that guy’s death,” the girl said, completely out of the blue.
“Oh, yeah? How do you know that?”
She hesitated and then leaned closer to me as if she was about to reveal a big secret. “They don’t know it, but I overheard Saber and Hogg talking about it the other day. Hogg asked Saber if they were involved and Saber said no. Apparently, they have a big heroin shipment coming in from a new supplier and now wasn’t the time to be starting any kind of melee with a rival club. He said they needed to keep their crosshairs on their new supplier and didn’t need the distraction.”
Once she started, she just couldn’t stop. She was like a dam of secrets, all of them spilling out of her mouth. Listening to her go on, I thought about the MC saying: a scorned old lady can take down a club. And by the sounds of it, the loose cannon in front of me was heading in that direction. She knew things, she said. And she was going to make Clutch pay for hitting her.
“Saber and the club are deep in the local heroin trade. He knew about that dead guy’s involvement with a heroin deal, but with the big shipment coming in, he wasn’t going to make a move on it. Hogg asked him if he knew who killed him. Was it the Southern Sons or Satan’s Tribe, and again, Saber told him no. The Knights are heavily allied to the Tribe and he’d confirmed it with their president.”
I stuck a Band-Aid over the cleaned cut. “There,” I offered her a reassuring smile. “It’s not going to scar.”
The girl looked at me through her lashes. “Thank you.”
“Can I call anyone to come and get you?” I asked.
She smiled. “I thought I might hang around for a bit. That guy out there with your old man. The one who looks like the lead singer from Faith No More, is he single?”
She was talking about Vader.
I shook my head. This girl wasn’t going to learn. She needed to hop on a bus and hightail it back to Iowa.
But then, how could I say that when I was only getting in deeper myself.
INDY
Two days later, after finishing up a day shift at the hospital, I drove straight home with a head full of plans for a romantic night in. Sex was non-existent between us at the moment, and I wanted it back. I knew Cade was hurting, but he was beyond preoccupied. He was obsessed, and I was going to bring him back to me. To us.
The house was empty when I got in. Not that I expected Cade to be home. He wouldn’t be in until dinnertime, which gave me plenty of time to soak my aching muscles in a warm bubble bath and unwind with a glass of wine in readiness for the night’s planned events. In my top drawer of our shared dresser was a brand new Victoria Secret outfit of white satin and the softest lace I’d ever felt. It was sexy. Indulgent. An invitation that was both blatant and carnal—the perfect wingman to help bring my man back to me.
After soaking in the luxuriously scented water for the good portion of an hour, I washed my hair and loofahed my skin to silky-smooth goodness, then climbed out and wrapped a big plush towel around me. I was big on moisturizer and had a ton of different bottles that I used regularly. Tonight’s choice was a bottle of intoxicatingly arousing lotion that smelled both sweet and dark, with notes of pomegranate and sandalwood. It was sexy. Alluring. And I knew it would drive Cade wild as he covered my flesh with his warm kisses. Smiling to myself, I rubbed the perfumed lotion all over my naked body, the butterflies breaking loose in my stomach when I thought about Cade inhaling the scent off my skin as he crawled up the length of me.
Slipping into the lingerie, I had never felt sexier in my life. Hipster lace panties and a matching bra, I had never owned something so luxurious, so blatantly made to raise blood pressures and penises. And I felt excited just pulling it on and tying it up.
When six o’clock came and went, I checked my phone but there was no message from Cade.
The same with seven o’clock.
At seven-thirty I sat on the bed in our moonlit bedroom and felt the hurt spread through my chest. He didn’t know I was waiting here in the dark for him, washed, moisturized, and wearing two hundred dollars’ worth of lingerie. But it still stung.
I craved him so deeply it hurt. My blood buzzed through me and I lay back into the pillows and stared up at the moonlight streaming in through the window. My body was tight. I was so ready for Cade to come home and make love to me I could barely stand it.
As I thought about my big, strong, mountain of a man, I let my fingers trail down to the flat plane of my stomach and over the soft curves of my hips. Barely touching, they fleeted over the tiny strip of satin between my legs and drifted down the front of my thighs, sending tiny shivers through me. My nipples hardened and a throb took up between my thighs.
I hadn’t planned on this, lying in the dark, bringing relief to the relentless wanting in my body, but I felt so tightly wound up, so tense with need. My hand drifted back up to my panties and my body flinched as the tips of my fingers delicately brushed over the smooth satin. Like gentle whispers against my flesh, my fingertips trailed back down to my thighs and up again, teasingly coming close to the tiny strip of fabric again but then stealing away. When I slowly brought them back and narrowed their area of focus to linger around my clit, my body lit up. I pressed harder and was rewarded with a delicious throb of pleasure and I moaned, thinking about Cade. I pictured him standing in front of me, gloriously naked with all his hard muscle on display.
In my head, his cock was in his hand and he was walking toward me, his face flushed with primal need, his eyes dilated with lust. When he approached me it was almost predatorily, like I was his prey and he was going to devour me, and I squirmed against my fingers with anticipation. When he reached me, I leaned up to him and ran my fingers over his thick chest and down his rippling abdominals, tracing the deep curve of his muscular V until I reached his big, swollen cock.
I bit down on my bottom lip as a surge of pleasure made the muscles between my thighs ache and clench with lust. I dipped my finger in and pulled it out again, swirling the slickness over my swollen bud of nerves. The tension was building. Rising. Winding me up so tight I was ready to burst.
In my fantasy I was on my knees, cradling my man’s beautiful cock in my hands and sliding my tongue over the smooth head, teasing him with my lips and my tongue, and licking the pearly white pre-cum glistening on his skin. When I closed my mouth over him and took the length of him into my throat, his groan rumbled through me, his gasps of pleasure turning me on. Yeah, baby, fuck my cock with your beautiful mouth. That’s it, angel. You’re going to make me come so hard.
The muscles between my legs th
robbed as I continued to toy with the swollen nub of my clit, building the tension. I wanted Cade inside of me, desperately. I wanted him to stretch me, penetrate me, and fuck me hard. I wanted him to flip me over and drive into me from behind. I wanted him to slam into me, hard and rough, so I felt every inch of him almost painfully hitting me in my womb. I wanted him to dominate me, overpower me, to fuck me to the point where I could stand it no more and I cried out his name as I climaxed. And then I wanted him to make love to me, painfully slow, every drive into my body purposeful and deliberate, every motion of his hips strong and controlled.
My body reacted at the thought and my fingers slid harder over my clit, pressing deeper, rubbing faster until all I was aware of was the rising pulse and surge of lust pumping through me to my very core. I teased harder, my temperature rising, my toes anchoring into the bed, my pussy growing slicker, more sensitive, and achingly ready to come. I bit down on my lip again and moaned, my breathing coming harder, my cheeks flushing as the tension finally erupted like a starburst and I climaxed. Ecstasy soared through me and my head fell backwards as I moaned into the moonlight room, my pussy pulsing violently against my palm, my spine arching in pleasure.
As I came down from my high, I started to laugh. My body felt so alive. So ready for my man. I felt flushed and drugged by my euphoria, and I wanted more.
It had been weeks. But tonight that was all going to change. Tonight when he came home I was going to bring him back to me. Bring him back to the present and make him see me. Touch me. Feel me.
As I caught my breath and my skin began to cool, my phone lit up with a message. I reached for it.
Cade: Don’t wait up. I’m going to be late. Sorry, babe x
My happiness dropped to the pit of my stomach. Goosebumps spread across my skin and I felt a foreboding tingle at the base of my spine. The euphoria from my orgasm eddied away. The gap was widening. When tears burned in my eyes, I threw my phone across the bed and climbed off. Padding across the plush carpet of our new bedroom, I pulled on a silk robe and went downstairs. In the kitchen, I grabbed the bottle of wine, opened it, and stood at the counter as I threw back a decent mouthful.
I looked around the glossy white kitchen and drank in another.
Cade had given me this beautiful home.
But he was never in it.
INDY
It had been three weeks since Cade had made love to me.
Something had changed in him and turned him to stone.
At first, I let it go. He needed time to deal with his emotions and get his thoughts straight. I understood that. But now . . . now things were getting ridiculous. Most nights he stayed up without me, training in his gym or sitting out on the deck under the stars, wrestling with the demons in his mind. On the nights when we did go to bed together, he would wrap his big arms around me and hold me against his strong, warm body. But it would never go anywhere.
I wanted to give him the space. He needed to get things right in his head and the last thing he needed was for me to be clingy. But enough was enough. It had gone on for too long and instead of getting better, it was getting worse. The distance between us was widening and I was beginning to wonder if we would ever find our way back to each other.
Rolling onto his side I curled into him and sought the comfort of his warm body next to mine. I inhaled the heat and scent from his skin and slid my hands down his muscular back and across his hips to settle on his warm stomach. I felt him stir. Felt our bodies start to respond instinctively and begin to shift against one another. I slid my hand to his boxers and Cade exhaled as I began to rub and caress him through the fabric. His lips parted and a moan escaped him. Lust pooled between my thighs. This was the most response I’d had from him in weeks and I was desperate for the drought to be over. Encouraged, I slid my hand beneath his shorts and felt for him, teasing him with gentle fingertips before wrapping my hand around him. He moaned as I stroked him, his cock throbbing against my palm as I did the things to him that I knew he liked.
With a hiss of breath, he rolled toward me, hoisting himself up with his big arms and putting himself between my legs and I immediately felt the hard ridge of his cock pressing into me. He kissed me hard, hot and desperate, his tongue penetrating me while his body moved urgently against mine. It was as if one simple hand job had kicked a hole in the wall around his heart and our kissing was bringing the wall down.
But then it stopped. Just as suddenly as it had started. He stared down at me, his breathing ragged, his cock still hard and pressing against me, his beautiful lips parted as he struggled to catch his breath. His eyebrows slammed together and I felt his breath leave him as he lost whatever war was taking place inside of him. He dropped his forehead to mine, and I knew our lovemaking was not going to happen.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
When he looked away I turned his face back to me so I could look him in the eye.
“It’s okay,” I reassured him.
My body burned for him, and as he rolled away from me goosebumps tickled my skin. He left our bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Ten minutes later he came out dressed.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I can’t sleep. I’m going for a drive.”
I didn’t fight him. There was no point. It would only push him further away. He needed time to face the demons inside him.
When I heard him drive off, I curled into my pillow and fought back my tears, wondering when my man was going to come back to me.
CADE
I didn’t know where I was going. I just needed to get out and drive. Roam the streets. Sometimes it felt like the walls were closing in and it scared the hell out of me because I didn’t know who I was turning into. All I knew was a persistent need to find out who had killed Isaac.
I felt bad about Indy. She was reaching out for me, but I just couldn’t reach back. And it made me feel even worse than I already did. She was my queen and I worshipped her, and there wasn’t one ounce of me that didn’t want to make love to her. But a black cloud had descended onto my soul and I found it harder and harder to block out the anger and grief to give her all of me.
Frustrated, I found myself down at the Playground—the local nickname for a part of town where streetwalkers sold their services to the johns who pulled up to the curb and asked how much. It was a busy part of Destiny. Here the air was thick with hormones, weed, and desperation. Sex was readily available. Whatever you liked. Hand jobs. Blow jobs. Traditional. Anal. Sex with toys. Twosomes. Threesomes. Any ’somes you wanted. For the right price, you got whatever you wanted at the Playground. It was the perfect place to find sex with no commitment, no false promises, and no expectation.
I pulled up to the curb where two women stood next to a streetlight and wound down the window.
“Hey, sugar baby, you looking for some company?” The redhead in a tiny pair of black shorts and a sparkly bra top asked. Her friend with a head of blonde curls turned her back to us as she lit a cigarette. The redhead winked. “No need for you to feel lonely tonight, baby. I can make you feel real good.”
I leaned forward. “What about your friend? She available, too?”
The blonde swung around. She blew out a funnel of cigarette smoke as she sized me up. “You want a three-way baby, that’s going to cost you.”
“How much?” I asked.
“Three hundred,” the redhead replied.
“Sure. No problem.”
The blonde, who seemed a little more street smart and less of a performer than the redhead, cocked an eyebrow at me. “You show me the money, honey, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”
I had twice that in my wallet. I pulled out six, fifty-dollar bills and showed them.
“Well, big boy, let’s go party,” the blonde girl said, dropping her cigarette to the pavement and crushing it with the heel of a thigh-high boot.
The redhead opened the backdoor while the blonde ran around to the passenger side.
“Ready?” I ask
ed them.
The blonde snuggled up to my arm. “Yeah, baby, let’s go do this.”
“Are you for real?” the blonde girl asked as I pulled up out front of the diner. Her name was Nancy. The redhead was Rosie. “You seriously want to buy us a coffee?” She cocked a suspicious eyebrow in my direction. “Or is ‘buy you coffee’ code for some weird-ass fetish you have?”
“Listen, ladies,” I said, cutting the engine and turning to them. “As lovely as you both are, I don’t want to have sex with you. I want to talk. That’s all.”
Before I could stop her, Nancy slid her hand over my crotch.
“Oh, baby, it don’t feel like you just want to talk.”
I wasn’t hard. But she did cop a good feel of my cock.
I gently removed her hand.
“Coffee and food. How about it?”
They both thought about it.
“We still get the cash, right?” Rosie asked.
“Yes.”
“The full three hundred?” Nancy gave me a suspicious look.
“The full three hundred, yes.”
They both shrugged.
“Sure thing, baby. It’s your money,” Rosie said as she climbed out of the car.
Nancy waited and then leaned in, whispering in my ear, “If you change your mind, I’ll fuck you for free.”
After detaching her hand from my crotch, again, the three of us entered the diner. Rosie and Nancy both ordered pie and coffee, while I stuck with my black coffee.
“So, what’s your deal, baby? Why’s a hottie like you picking up girls off the street and taking them for coffee and pie in the middle of the night?” Rosie asked, digging into her apple pie. Every time she moved, the bangles on her arms jangled and scraped along the plastic tabletop.
“Yeah. You look like you’ve got a lot going for you. Why you out here in the middle of the night paying two hookers to have coffee with you?” Nancy scooped up a big spoonful of pecan pie and devoured it with her perfect red lips.