by Loki Renard
Who am I to deny her?
Our instincts and urges are all we have. They are the only truth. In worlds of lies and fabrication, the only way to navigate is by the impulses of the gut, and now, the cock.
Raine
He kisses me sweetly, gently, his mouth making tender love to mine even as I feel the head of the spear of flesh settle between my legs, parting the outer lips which provide no defense whatsoever to a creature like him. He is masculinity, dominance, and power rolled into a suave package. He has brought me to the brink of a forever change. I cling to him, my nails digging into his arms as he takes me over the edge.
It is a short, small motion which drives his cock inside me, pushes into the chamber of my sex, and spreads my inner walls wide. Something breaks inside me, never to be restored. It is a sharp pain, but made small by the storm of other sensations inside me, all contesting one another and demanding my attention.
“You're mine.”
Those two words fall from his lips and I know they are true. There are no tricks now. This is real. I can feel the reality inside me as he begins to move deeper. He has claimed me. He has taken the barrier of my virginity and done away with it.
I don’t care. I don't miss it. This feeling of being filled is more satisfying than being virtuous ever was. Virginity, I learn under the surging of his body, is nothing more than a word for the absence of rich experience.
He pulls out of my body and I whine for him to return. The head of his cock remains just at the entrance of my sex. Barely touching me, rubbing gently against my spread lips and the swollen bud of my clit.
“Please…” I whimper, seeing a look in his eyes which strongly suggests he wants me to beg. This is about power. Control. Dominance. And that makes me tingle all the way to my toes. He is giving me a full experience of giving myself to another power, surrendering to him, and I adore it.
“Please, what, princess?”
“Please… “ I don't know the words for it.
“Please fuck me,” he provides them. “I want you to ask me to fuck your naughty pussy good and hard and long until you orgasm on my cock.”
Oh gods. My inner walls clench, desperate for more after the taste he just gave me.
He lets the head of his cock drift slowly up and down my sex, waiting patiently for me to say the words.
“Please…” I whisper. “Fuck me…”
“Fuck you how?”
Oh, he is going to draw this out. He is going to make me say everything. “Please fuck me… hard until I come…”
“Almost," he says, rubbing the hot head of his cock over my clit, teasing me terribly.
“Please fuck my naughty pussy,” I whimper, blushing so furiously I can hardly take it.
“I will fuck your naughty pussy,” he agrees, sliding back inside me with one long, powerful stroke which fills me all the way up and makes my toes curl with pleasure.
“Naughty little teen goddess,” he growls, buried in me all the way to his balls. “You need a good fucking don’t you. You need to feel this cock nice and deep inside you, stretching you out. Showing you who owns all the fuckable holes of your body.”
He has become crude, and I react with tremors of desire coursing through me. I have bitten off more than I can chew. I have taken more cock than I should. I have thrown my virtue to the wind and now my lips are wrapped tightly around his rod as he pillages all the maidenly virginity I once had into oblivion. I look down and I see his cock covered in the cream of my pussy, marbled with a reddish hue which is testament to my lost virginity.
He fucks me just the way I begged him to. He fucks me with powerful, long strokes which consume me and send me to the brink of sweet orgasmic eternity.
When he is done with me, I fall back into his arms and the soft fur of his den. At first, I feel nothing but good. My entire body is filled with a warmth and happiness which leaves me a special kind of stupid.
It’s not until the glow wears off that I realize where I am and what I have done more fully.
“They’re going to be looking for me.”
“Who is going to be looking for you?”
“My family?”
“Well, one of them is somewhere under the sea, and the other three don't seem to consider leaving the palace a priority, do they? Sending you off with nothing but a beeper button.”
“They may not be coming now, but they’re going to know. They’re going to know what happened between us. They’re going to know what you did to me.”
Tanuk does not seem concerned by that at all. If anything, he seems to enjoy the idea.
What have I done?
What have I allowed to be done to me?
“Don’t panic,” he drawls by way of advice.
Don’t panic. Not after I lost myself to him? I can feel his seed inside me. What if I’m already pregnant?
“Did you sleep with Lucy too?”
“No.”
Why am I even asking him? I can’t believe what he says.
“I need to go back. I need to tell Helios and Ragnar that I am…”
“Helios knows where you are,” Tanuk interrupts me. “This is the very same island I was on when he came to get the doctor who delivered you. He could fly here and retrieve you at any time.”
I don’t want to think about that too deeply. Helios has allowed me to risk my own life in order to keep the peace among the others. My mother and Ragnar are probably still very much in the dark. Ironic, how the god of the sun tries to cast a shadow over the truth. He should know better.
I want to retrieve Lucy. I don’t want to leave her to the cold water and the whims of the ocean king who may or may not have good intentions. We have known Triton a long time. He prefers to ride the waves on the shores outside the golden palace. He’s not overly close with our family, but nobody is. He could have good intentions, or he could, like Tanuk, merely have been biding his time.
Perhaps he has taken her back to the palace. Maybe she’s already home, telling Helios and Ragnar and our mother where I am. Maybe they’ll come for me. Or maybe she’s making out under water without any sense of urgency whatsoever.
“You’re tired,” he says. “When I sleep, which I do rarely, I curl up here. This is where you will sleep, Raine. You will sleep well and comfortably. And moreover, you will learn who you are outside the shadow of your sister.”
“You think you can keep me here?”
“No. I think you will want to stay,” he smiles and reclines, extending his hand. A glass of wine appears in it out of thin air. It’s a common conjurer’s trick, and pointless because he is a god and can’t get drunk anyway.
“Why would you drink? You can’t get drunk.”
“This liquid is not wine. It is broken dreams and lost prayers. A musty vintage, but classic.”
“I think you might be evil.”
“I’m not,” he says with a finality which suggests he is also able to end all lines of inquiry in that direction.
“Oh well, that’s okay then.”
“I need to go home.”
“Yes. Return to the loving bosom of your parents, who may very well blame you for Lucy’s loss. Run from the deity who gave you the greatest pleasure of your life back to the boring enclosure where you have been more or less farmed.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I can’t spoon feed you everything, Raine,” he says. “You’ll have to come to an understanding of at least some of this by yourself. Get some sleep. Perhaps that half-human mind of yours will process these events and make some sense of them.”
I cut my eyes at him. “I’m not some lonely stray, Tanuk. You can't pick me off from the herd just because you think I’m pathetic and desperate for attention.”
“Your words,” he says, taking a sip of broken dreams.
I get up, take one step in the soft material and fall over again.
Tanuk’s mocking laughter makes my temper flare. He’s toying with me, just like he toyed with Lucy, excep
t she was smart enough not to care. She has escaped his grasp. I have escaped nothing.
“I’m leaving.”
“You may leave if you wish. You’re not a prisoner here.”
“I mean it. You can't stop me. Just because we… copulated. That doesn't mean anything. I was caught in your madness. It was a mistake!”
“Remember when I told you not to panic? You’re panicking. What we did was entirely natural. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your lustful nature with the deity of your choosing,” Tanuk says. His words are calming, but his expression is one of triumph. What has been done cannot be undone. I have given my maidenhead to this trickster and there is no getting it back.
“I’m going back. And I’m going to tell them you took Lucy, and me.”
“Mhm.”
How can a simple sound be so perfectly maddening. I have the strong sense that it doesn’t matter what I say now, he has the upper hand, perhaps forever. I am wracked with guilt and fear. What will happen when the truth comes out about what happened today? That instead of finding my sister, I was tricked by Tanuk and then fell into his bed, gave myself like any wood nymph might?
My mother will be disappointed, and likely angry. Helios will not forgive me. Ragnar… I can’t even begin to imagine his reaction. He thinks I am a perfectly innocent girl. I was, until I came to this island with ideas of saving my sister.
“Just relax,” Tanuk says. “Have a drink.”
“Of broken dreams? No thank you.”
“I have other vintages as well,” he reaches back over his shoulder and opens a cupboard in the wall. A row of bottles stands waiting. I would bet that they weren't there a second ago. The cupboard didn’t seem to be. I am tired, I suddenly realize, of gods who bend reality to their will. I know it is all a trick, a mirage.
“What’s wrong?”
“This is another trick.”
“Not everything is a trick, Raine. What we just did with one another is probably the most real thing that ever happened to you. And, by the way, this den? It is also real. It’s not some building made out of your father. I know you don’t know how to exist outside your father’s celestial body, but you won’t die. You have reached the age of mortal majority. The choices you make now are yours. You can choose to stay here, or…
“Or what?”
“Run home to mommy and daddy and other daddy,” he smirks.
“I like home.”
“Do you? What do you like about home?”
I frown at him. You’re not supposed to ask questions like that. I haven't had many conversations with anyone not on my fathers’ island, but something tells me that this is a rather rude line of inquiry. Like everything I have done with Tanuk, it is far too intimate.
“It’s where my family is. It’s where I’m loved. It’s where Yggdrasil, the tree of my ancestors, resides. It is important, Tanuk. I know you think I’m some rebellious teenage runaway looking to rebel, but I’m not. I love my family. I want my sister back. And I’m not going to let you turn me into a pawn.”
With that, I leave. I have to leave. Tanuk has obviously had an agenda from the beginning. If my virginity is all I lose today I’ll be lucky.
“I’m going home.”
“As you wish.”
“It’s that easy?”
“You're not my captive, Raine. Lucy was, sort of, briefly, but you aren’t.”
That sentence shouldn't make my temper flare the way it does. I’m not good enough to be a captive? Or he’s already got what he wanted.
I get on my hands and knees and crawl toward the exit of the burrow. I’m getting back on the boat. I’m leaving. I’m leaving and I’m going to act as though nothing happened here. Nobody has to know what happened here. Nobody will believe him, even if he tells them.
Everybody knows I’m the safe one, the boring one. The one who can be trusted to sail across the ocean and bring back her sister. Helios didn’t abandon me. He trusted me, and look what I’ve done. I’ve never been so ashamed of myself. I’ve never been ashamed at all, actually, now I think about it, as I crawl out of the den of the god I just met and yet slept with.
“Okay, bye then,” he calls out quite cheerfully.
“’kay, bye,” I sing out in return. He can’t know that I feel bad about leaving to do the walk — no, crawl of shame back to the golden palace.
“Bye now!”
As I crawl, I’m aware he’s probably going to stop me any moment. After all, what self-respecting god would deflower a demigoddess and not imprison her?
Maybe I’ll end up in the cage he mentioned earlier.
Maybe he’ll chain me down.
Maybe he’ll do… nothing?
He is going to stop me, right?
But he doesn’t.
He lets me go.
I walk all the way across the island. I get to the boat. The rope uncoils easily this time, and there is no resistance when I get on the boat, the sail puffs to the wind and the vessel begins to skate across the water at twice the speed it moved on the way there.
He's not just letting me go. He’s helping me leave.
I sit in the boat which is not being steered by me. The tiller makes its own motions through the water and the winds are in the favor of the destination. Just as, now I think about it, they were on my way to his island.
Tanuk has been controlling this from the beginning. He wants me to go running back to Helios. He wants me to tell on him. But what if I don’t do that? What if I go back to the island and tell them that Lucy is actually with Triton? Or what if I say nothing at all, especially when it comes to certain losses of certain virginities.
I can feel a dull ache between my legs where he seduced me. Now, with the cool wind whipping against my face, that blushing state of arousal feels very remote.
5
Raine
I see a light on the beach. I know who it is. Helios. Waiting for me this entire time. Fresh guilt assails me as I realize how badly I have let him down. If he knew what I had been doing while Lucy was trapped underwater, if he knew I had almost died, and that I have given the most vulnerable part of myself to the villain behind it all..
I step off the boat onto the shore. Alone. Not with the sister he wanted to see. I sense his disappointment even before I arrive.
“Raine!” he calls my name and runs to me. Wrapping his arms around me, he embraces me tightly.
“I am so glad to see you.”
“You are?”
“It has been a full day. The sun rose and then fell again, and now you are returned to me.”
“Is Lucy back?”
“No,” he says. “But we have received word she is safe. You were the missing one.”
“You’ve received word?”
No sooner do I ask the question than two more relieved figures appear on the beach. Ragnar and my mother both embrace me, holding me close and kissing my head. I worry that they will be able to sense the sin on me, but they don’t seem to notice.
“Triton took Lucy,” I say, not wanting any more secrets. Or at least, any secrets which do not directly relate to my own ill-behavior. “He pulled her right off a beach. He dragged her into the water. I tried to save her, but I couldn’t breathe in the water.”
Helios and Ragnar look at one another, then together, they stride into the ocean. It’s going to be okay. They’re going to get her back.
“I couldn’t help her, Mom,” I whimper as my mother holds me. “I’m mortal. I have no power.”
“Honey, you have talents and powers of your own,” she reassures me.
“No, Mom. I don’t,” I sigh. “I’m not even worth kidnapping.”
“Sure you are, honey," she says, kissing me on the head. “Now, go get some sleep. You know how cranky you get when you don’t get your eight hours.”
Another pathetic human trait, the need to sleep. Lucy stopped sleeping when she was ten years old. I tried to do the same and ended up passing out and sleeping for a week straight. We all kno
w I’m the weak link in this family. First born, last blessed.
My mother and I return to the golden palace. I go up to the room Lucy and I have shared my entire life. It feels empty without her, but also spacious. I never noticed how much energy she exuded, how she filled up an area. We were always complaining that our room was too small, but now I am in here by myself, it feels cavernous.
I want to stay awake to make sure Lucy gets back, but I am so tired, and I trust that Helios and Ragnar will find her. They have to.
That night, I do not sleep well. I dream of being on a very small boat on a very large sea. A storm blows up and I am tossed on the ever growing waves, white tops foaming over my head.
Sun is creeping into the room as I wake up in a cold sweat. I learned what fear was yesterday. I never knew what it was before. Lucy and I were completely safe. Now, Lucy is gone, and I have lost something I never knew I had. Innocence is invisible to the innocent. It is like water to a fish. You don’t know you're in it until you’re pulled from it and left to gasp and writhe for what was.
Outside, I hear heavy footsteps and maximum indignation.
“Oh. My. GODS!” Lucy bashes into the room. She’s soaking wet and followed by Helios and Ragnar. I don't know where our mother is. Having some kind of nervous breakdown, I imagine.
“Lucy!” I throw myself at her and hug her so damn tight she squeaks. I’ve never been so happy to see anyone in my life. I definitely never thought I would be so happy to see her.
Helios and Ragnar follow in her wake. What they have to say does not please either of us.
“You're both grounded,” Helios says.
“What does that mean?”
Ragnar looks at Helios. “You see what we have done to them? Spoiled them to the point they don’t even recognize the old human term for confinement.”
“Grounded means you must stay here.”
“You can’t ground us. We’re eighteen. Remember that party we just had?” Lucy explodes with indignation. I have nothing to say to that news. Being grounded sounds ridiculous, and unlikely and somewhat desperate on their part. Lucy hears that her freedom is to be curtailed. I hear something different. I hear that our fathers are afraid they can no longer protect us. They don’t know how right they are.