by Loki Renard
“I am not a man. I am a god. A god who has bided his time and waited to exact revenge and take what he is owed. Raine is mine. By every cosmic law, you know it. And so does she. Now you waste time, put her life in danger while she is alone on that blighted planet. She is brilliant and brave. But she is still half-human. She does not have your resilience. She can and will die if she is not rescued.”
A moment later, the bonds fall from my body.
“Go and get her,” Helios says. “Bring her back. Immediately.”
“It may not be that simple.”
“MAKE IT THAT SIMPLE!” Ragnar thunders the words. The sky turns black. Not with clouds, or the drifting of the sun. It turns pure obsidian with a deep kind of total fury which reflects his soul.
He won’t kill me. But that doesn't mean he won’t hurt me. There are many ways to make a god beg for the death he can never experience. I am sure Ragnar is familiar with them all.
“I will get her back. No harm will come to her. I promise you.”
I am not afraid of Ragnar and Helios as gods. I am terrified of Ragnar as a father. I have not truly taken Helios’ daughter. The blonde princess remains here. I took Ragnar’s girl, because she was the one I loved. He has said little, but I can see from his glaring gaze that it is him I have to worry about.
The second I am free of the damn tree, I return to Earth. It takes a great deal of energy, but the journey can be undertaken in an instant. I hope I have not been missed.
In the space between two breaths, I appear back on Earth where I last saw Raine.
But she is no longer there.
The ground beneath my feet is a charred mess. A burning has taken place here. I see the bones in the ashes, skulls of the fallen. A cold horror explodes inside me. Do some of these bones belong to Raine? Did Entity slay her the moment I was gone?
I will kill Helios and Ragnar if she has been harmed. They left her entirely alone, unprotected at what must have been a moment of supreme, complete chaos.
I look around, hoping to detect some sign of her, but the grass seems to have grown a great deal in the last hour. Trees which I swore were far shorter have reached their branches higher into the sky. The chapel we took refuge in on our first night is gone. I walk to the place it was and find that there is not even the slightest remnant of it. Strange. Very strange.
She’s gone. The chapel is gone. There is not even the slightest remnant of it. I walk over the very spot I held her in my arms all night long. There is nothing. For a moment, I think I must have made a miscalculation. I can’t feel Raine here.
My foot hits something. I bend down and find among the grass, the remnants of the altar. It must have been built more sturdily than the rest of the chapel. I am where I once was. But the chapel has not just been destroyed. It has been covered over by the assault of nature. How is that possible?
A slow sense of horror overcomes me. I have been gone an hour on Okeanus, but time on Okeanus does not necessarily flow the way it does on Earth. Why did I not think of this? I was distracted by her fathers. I allowed them to make the biggest mistake any of us have made yet. I didn't just leave her alone at the mercy of Entity. I left her alone at the mercy of time.
11
Raine
I am tired.
We have survived several swarm attacks over the past few days, and I know there will be more coming if we do not move. But moving is difficult. We have several small children with us, and a heavily pregnant woman.
In the beginning, there were only a handful of humans hiding. Now there are almost thirty of us. Thirty to keep fed. Thirty to keep safe. And there are other groups too, ones who go it alone but come to us when they need protection. All in all, there are more than a hundred people relying on me to stop the thing which creeps through the air and slides through the shadows.
When I sleep the others are vulnerable, so I try not to sleep. I am the only one capable of holding back the tools of Entity, and Entity knows it. It has learned my patterns. It has adapted its attacks. It has taken lives before me, shown me the cost of failure.
“Go to sleep.”
Magellan, my man at arms, the one who manages the weapons is trying to convince me that it is safe to rest. But I know it isn’t. I know that the second I close my eyes, Entity will swoop in and I will open my eyes to see the dismembered, charred flesh of those who have entrusted me with their lives.
“Where are the shards?”
“All thirteen shards are accounted for,” he assures me. “None have reported any losses in three days. We’re safe. You can rest.”
Shards are what the people call the little groups they form in an effort to survive. Free humans are an accident Entity made. The first big pod towers were not as well designed as the later ones. They were given to failure, breaking open, or breaking down completely and starving the people kept captive inside. Those who escaped did so in small groups, usually related to one another by shared blood. They formed shards, splinters of Entity broken off from the main being.
It is not easy for a human taken from Entity to survive. I have learned to admire what my mother did in escaping all on her own. I have always known she was a strong woman, capable of holding her own with her godly mates, but I didn't know she was able to stand up against something so much greater.
Entity uses the collective minds to create a network of greater intelligence than any machine or any man. It is something bigger than humanity, but without humanity it could not exist in any form. It is truly the worst of all things human and machine combined, and I do not know how long I can keep battling it.
My power protects those in our cluster, but our colony is small. There are less than a hundred of us holding out in what used to be transport tunnels. Rails still run parallel through the length of the tunnels, sometimes electric, sometimes not. We discover which is which to our detriment.
“You can sleep,” he says. “I'll wake you at the first sign of trouble.”
“Thank you, Magellan, but you have been awake almost as long as I have.”
“I can’t protect us as you can,” he says. “You need to rest.”
“Magey! You're back!”
Sapphire wakes and sees him. She is my daughter. The only jewel in my crown. She is nine years old and she loves this man as her own father. Unsurprising, given she never knew her father. Broken families and shattered souls are common among the people of the shards.
“Hello, trouble,” he smiles, ruffling her hair. “Have you been good?”
“Always,” she smiles. She’s missing one of the teeth right at the front of her face, so she whistles the s. I find that sound adorable.
“I’m gonna get something to eat,” she says.
“Okay, but straight to the pantry and back.”
She runs off obediently. I am so glad that she is older now, more able to protect herself. But I am sad too, that she has come of age in this world of tyranny and violence. I fear it will leave indelible marks on her forever. She’s already talking about how she will have to guard everybody when she is old like her mama, an accidental insult I try not to take to heart.
Sapphire is the flesh of my flesh, the only scrap of family I have on this Earth. In her, I see flashes of my father and my mother. She reminds me that there are still true deities above us, and that hope can never be abandoned completely.
“There’s a man here," she says, returning with a small hunk of bread fisted tightly in her hand
“A man? What man?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know we welcome all, Sapphire. Tell him to come in.”
“You can come in,” she calls to the darkness.
A figure steps over the threshold, emerging out of the dark. The welcoming smile I had plastered on my face drops into a void.
“No. Fucking. Way,” I breathe as I stare into eyes I never thought I would see again.
It has been ten years since Tanuk left me without warning or explanation, abandoned me to the crueltie
s of Entity and this harsh human world. I almost don’t believe it is him. It’s more likely a mirage of wishful thinking, a hallucination from my tired mind.
“Raine.”
He says my name, and everything I had started to regard as a dream feels real again. After all the battles with Entity, I had begun to think that everything which came before my time on Earth was a lie. I couldn't believe that I once lived a life on a perfect planet. A place where everything was possible.
“Who is that?” Magellan asks the question, and I know I have to answer or he will do himself damage trying to defend me. The expression on my face is a mixture of horror and surprise. Magellan has killed over less.
“He is an old… friend.”
Friend? Enemy? I do not know what this god ever was. I thought he loved me, but then he disappeared. I was left among humans who depended on me for their very survival. He has no idea what I have been through. How many nights I cried for him. How many times I almost let my shields drop and let Entity’s fires consume me because the pain of missing him was all too much.
Tanuk opens his arms to me. He wants to embrace me, just as he used to all those years ago. He is acting as though nothing has happened. I want to feel relief and joy at seeing him again, but is it immediately overshadowed with cold distrust.
“No,” I shake my head, stepping back from him. “No. Not again.”
Tanuk
Raine has been trapped here for a very long time. I can see the effects of age on her face and her body. I wonder how many years have passed, how long she has been left to suffer.
“Ten fucking years.” She grits the words out. “Ten years, Tanuk. Where the fuck have you been?”
The naive eighteen year old I once knew has been replaced with a twenty eight year old warrior of no small repute. I see the way the people gather around her, more than one man taking it upon himself to brandish a weapon in my direction. I feel a spearing of jealousy at the idea that one or more of them might be her mates.
It is difficult to mentally adjust to the differences in our experiences. I was holding her in my arms not an hour ago. She has not seen me for a decade. Time is the one force not easily reconciled. I have toyed with it now and again, but this is beyond my power to mend.
“I was on Okeanus. Your fathers summoned a demon to take me there when we laid down to sleep that night.”
“And it took you TEN YEARS to come back?”
“It’s only been an hour on Okeanus, Raine,” I say gently. Her eyes are wild. I can see the stress on her face, little lines where her innocence has been eroded by time and fate.
“That’s bullshit.” She looks at me with fury in her eyes, anger I can understand. This is no small betrayal. This is an outright tragedy caused by her well-meaning fathers. They should have left us alone. We would have returned in our own time. I would have kept whatever has happened to her from happening. Gods only know what wounds she has sustained.
“It was not my decision to leave you, Raine. I would never have done it on my own accord. I had no choice. Your fathers took me and made me promise to come and get you, but they did not take into account the effects of time. It flows almost imperceptibly on Okeanus, but here it rushes like a torrent. I was gone for a matter of minutes, but for you, it has been years. I’m here to take you home.”
“No.”
I’m not surprised to hear a refusal. I expected as much even if I had been back within an hour. What I didn’t expect was the near snarled vehemence of her fury.
“Very well, then I will stay here with you.”
“Unless my fathers send for you, and not me for some reason best known to you. You must really think I am stupid. If they could take you, then they could find me.”
“You're only part god. You’re harder to find among these humans. I was an easy target. The first one the hunter demon found. I’m sorry, Raine. I should have expected this. I know you’re angry. I know you must have suffered greatly.”
“You don’t know fucking anything. Get out. Go back to Okeanus.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Raine
I can’t forgive him. I've been hurt far too badly. I’ve gone through far too much. There’s a part of me which wants to throw myself into his arms and sob, but I had to bury that part way down deep in order to survive and it’s not as simple as just turning back the clock.
I lived every hour of these last ten years alone as far as he was concerned. But I wasn’t really alone. I had people around me. A family of my own formation, and I’m not going to abandon them just because he appeared out of the ether and told me I was going to be able to go home.
Home.
The memory of golden sands and clear skies instead of ashen graves and the ever present reign of smoke. Is there such a place as home?
“What about my sister?”
“I didn’t see Lucy when I was there,” he says. “I was tied to a tree, but I assume she is well. Your fathers and your mother were very robust. They miss you. They want you back.”
I miss them too. But I can’t go.
Magellan reaches out and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Can we leave this world? Is there some way your powers can help us all escape?”
Fuck. Hell. Damn. Yes. There is. And now he's said it, I’m going to have to do it. The hardest thing about this is that none of it is truly about me. I want to tell Tanuk to go to hell, but he might just be able to do what I cannot: save everyone, forever.
Tanuk
“You take me, you take all of us.”
Raine gives me a rather predictable ultimatum.
The human male by her side has managed to convince her with a couple of questions. I look at him with interest, thinking of the things I could do to destroy him if he has been touching her more than the chaste hand he has on her shoulder right now.
“How many is all of us?”
“As many as I can gather. Maybe three hundred at the most.”
Humans are not allowed on Okeanus. That was the law. Then Helios, King of Okeanus, broke the law once and now here we are, about to import several hundred of the trouble makers onto those hallowed shores.
A slow smile spreads over my lips. This could not be more perfect. The chaos which will be unleashed will be all Helios’ fault. I am doing his bidding. His work. And saving these humans may very well soften Raine to me again.
“Bring them all,” I say. “As many as you can. Bring them to me now. As quickly as possible. You have suffered long enough, Raine. Let me bring you all home.”
Her eyes light up with hope, and for a moment, I see the young woman she once was. These years have taken a great toll on her. The changes in her face are not merely changes of age. She has borne a mantle of responsibility. She has felt real human pain, anguish, and fear, all without me. Helios could not know it, but he has wounded me again, deep inside. Seeing Raine this way is pain upon pain, and I do not know how I will ever gain my revenge for this.
Raine
A miracle has happened. We are saved. There is no time to lose. The shards must be assembled. The people must be freed.
I waited a very long time for this day to come. For the first nine months in which I found myself alone on this planet without Tanuk, I begged every night in panicked prayer for him to return to me. Then the world changed, and I changed with it. I gave birth to a baby in the middle of the war, and I could no longer ignore or hide from the suffering of the scattered remains of humanity who live outside the law of Entity. I was no longer their savior, someone apart from them. I became one of them. They protected me, even as I protected them. This may very well be my last act of protection.
“You must be ready,” I tell Tanuk. “Entity will sense this. It will send its drones of destruction and they will burn us all if you are not able to draw us from this world.”
“I’ll be ready,” he says, his expression serious, his tone deep and powerful. It is so good not to be the only god on Earth again, to feel the might of the divi
ne beside me once more. I don’t want to give into that feeling of relief, but I cannot ignore it either.
Tanuk tells me that it has only been an hour since he left the planet, but I believe he has changed just as I have. I recall him being a smirking, laughing arrogant beast of a man, a seductive liar who did as he pleased, and cared for nobody besides me. The old Tanuk would have tricked me away, I think. He would have taken me in the night and I would never have had the chance to save anybody.
I turn to Magellan, realizing that I do not have the luxury of reflection. This is not a time to assess romantic partners. It is a time for action. “Call everyone here. Now. Everyone. As fast as possible. Go.”
Magellan sends my runners out. They are the fastest among us, the teen boys and girls with energy and bravery to burn. A dozen of them fan out as they have been trained to do. Each of them will evade Entity’s sensors as best as possible, trying not to draw attention to our god-sent escape.
While they do their work, I gather the others toward me. The closer they are to me, the more protected they are. They do not need much in the way of encouragement. The dream of being free from Entity is shared among us all.
Through it all, Tanuk stands quiet and largely impassive. I do not know what he thinks of this. He does not seem to know anything which has happened in the great expanse of time which opened up after he was pulled away from me. He is looking at me with that curious lack of expression which comes over him from time to time. His mind is busy, but his mouth is silent.
The first shard of people arrives. They are suspicious and confused, but their hope brings them to me. I have spent years demonstrating very limited power to them. There have been moments they have wanted to worship me, and times when they loathed me and blamed me for what Entity had done to them. Tanuk was right all those years ago. The adoration of those who are helped is nothing compared to the scorn of those who are hurt outside my control.
“Are we leaving? Where are we going?” Sapphire is by my side, as confused as any of the other people. She is small for her age, always has been. I pick her up to make sure she is not crushed in the press of humanity which will soon envelop us all.